Not Sure What to Say...

I wouldn't put the burden of the choice on your son of whether or not to call his dad or send him something. Tell him, "Jake, I'm going to take a picture of you holding your test! I'm so proud of you for getting an A!" After you take the picture, tell him, "Jake, your father will be so proud of you. Let's go to the computer now and send this to your dad. Think of a message for us to write."

I'm sorry things are in limbo with your husband right now. I would probably try to give him some encouragement... you know, reasons to come home. Tell him that you miss him. Tell him what you miss about him. Encourage him to come home for a weekend visit if he really does have to be away for work. Surely he gets time off here and there long enough for a visit with his family.

My point is not to make the phone calls and catching up all about your son or all about being serious, but to "date" on the phone or Skype or whatever... and make him wanted and needed and missed. If he can at least come home for visits then maybe it'll be easier to reconnect with each other.

Sounds like you don't have any communication at all with your husband, and that would be at the heart of the problem, right? Instead of thinking what to tell your son (and I am so sorry, with all my heart, but I don't have an answer for that one) you need to be talking with your husband. Being stagnant does no good...the two of you need to talk, and move one way or the other.

I'll certainly say a prayer for you and your family, and I wish you the best.

You need to tell your son the truth...as hard as it may be...he needs to hear the truth...

it is VERY sad that your husband is not doing a better job of communicating with his son...I know when my husband is gone - he went to Hawaii and Taiwan on business and was gone a month...he called EVERY NIGHT or morning (once in Taiwan)...

I don't know how you and your husband are working on things when no communication is taking place. You need to tell your husband to S**T or get off the pot. Start a regular schedule for skyping with your son - FOR YOUR SON...he needs and deserves that...

You need to keep your chin up. I know it is hard...being married but single is NOT easy. You need to make sure that YOU take care of YOU...if that means a therapist to work through issues on your end, then do it...girls night out...you need to take care of you still...

Don't wait around with bated breath for your husband to make a move. Tell him what you expect. Tell him that a Skype call to your son will be happening REGULARLY and tell him when it should be happening...this isn't for you - or him - but for your son...he is getting the short end of the stick here.

Be honest with your son...honesty is the best policy. It won't be easy..but he deserves to know the truth.

Wow... so your husband is perfectly fine with Skyping his young son once a month? I think it speaks volumes, honestly, and I find it very sad. I think until your husband mans up, your son will continue to feel sad, confused, and abandoned by someone who's supposed to be there for him.

I would've been done with him when he decided to start a fight with me over being "single" on Facebook. That shows his lack of respect for you and your son, and that he's definitely moved on already.

I am sorry for what you're going through, but it sounds like you're way more committed than he is. No one working on their marriage can fix anything living in a different state.

Stop asking your son, just as you dont ask him when he wants to go to bed or whether he wants healthy food or candy, it's your job to help him connect with Dad (I know it should be Dad's job, but I dont think Dad will really step up to the plate, so for your son's sake-it's your job) I have two 20 something kids who are still hurting over how little their father was involved in their lives. So tell him you dont know when Dad is coming but you are sending a picture of him to Dad, you are sending a picture of his school work to dad, and boy will dad love to see ....!!!

from experience I take your hubby as a more passive guy who tells you what you want to hear while he does whatever he wants. sometimes they get distant from their kids cuz they dont want to deal with us. Your son deserves better and quite frankly so do you. stop waiting around for him to decide the rest of your life! Make a decision and take action. that little boy WILL resent you for lying, tell him the truth and as hard as it may be, he will get through it. children are resilient and bounce back. keep love and honesty at the forefront, and DO IT TOGETHER. your husband doesnt get a free pass. so often it is up to the mother to talk to the kids, answer all the questions-I say this must be talked about with both parents present, and you and your husbands expectations for each other and your marriage must be clearly stated, as well as commitment to change. marriages are 100%/100% not 50/50.