No Gifts Please - Topeka,KS

I am the parent who has put "No gifts please" on invitations to my son's parties when he was little. To me, it was about having a fun day with his friends.

So, from a Mom on the other side of the fence - go, enjoy, and don't bring a gift. Really, we mean it when we say it.

:)

Yes, it is rude. You're going to make the other guests feel really,really awful that they did not bring a gift. No gifts means no gifts, not gifts optional.

If they stated "No Gifts Please", then that means NO GIFTS - we've done that with DD's birthday parties because we are trying to keep our house from being overrun with too many toys and figure she has enough as it is.

Plus, if you decide to bring a gift anyway, how are the other parents going to feel who did not bring one? Or the birthday kid that maybe now thinks everyone should have brought him one?

Ugh, my mom always brings a gift when it says "no gifts please" and it drives me crazy and the hosts of the party crazy too! I think it makes everyone who doesn't bring a gift look bad, and then the hosts have to pull the kids in a room away from everyone else so they can open the gifts in front of my mom, but not in front of everyone else.

Bring a card if you feel weird walking in empty-handed. I have now talked my mom into bringing just cards with a gift card inside. My mom likes to give gift cards for ice cream or donuts.

I get that perhaps you feel that the child will be upset at not getting gifts, right? But surely the parents have told the child what's going on. It's not your responsibility, frankly, to worry about that end of things. That's up to the parents. I actually would think it impolite to bring a gift if told not to. A handmade and heartfelt card would mean more.

With so many kids showered with tons of stuff, parents are trying to make events about the activity itself, not the swag the kids will receive. Maybe they're trying to teach the child that the party is, itself, their one big gift.

My daugher's having a birthday party soon, a bigger event than usual, and I"m going to ask her to forego gifts in favor of something useful like donations to the local food bank (which is desperate for food right now). She is older so she understands that she can do without stuff. It really is not unheard of for parties, even for kids, to have either "no gifts" or to request that in place of gifts, guests bring donations for food banks or even pet shelters. I've seen both done and applauded it.

I really take people at their word - that they MEAN what they say. If they say "No gifts please" then I think it's disrespectful to go against their wishes. Bring a card with a nice message, thanking them for being invited, and just enjoy the party (like they're hoping you will)!

Please don't bring a gift! Let your child pick a cute card and write or draw inside. We've requested "no gifts" for all of dd's birthdays and it's annoying when she still ends up with a stack of gifts... some of which are still in boxes in her closet!

Take them at their word.

No offense, but if they wrote "no gifts" on the invitation, your bringing a gift is actually the rude action.

If you really, really feel it necessary, make a donation to a children's charity (maybe donating toys for the children at the local homeless shelter?) in their child's honor and send them a note, after the party.

Well, I'll be the lone voice of dissent here. I think it's always appropriate to bring a small gift if you want to. Parents write "no gifts please" so people don't feel obligated. And if you want to bring a gift, that means you're not feeling obligated.

My kids have been to plenty of parties where gifts weren't expected, and about half of the people brought them anyway. So I suspect you won't be the only one bringing a present.

I would just take a nice card.... they have the cutest singing birthday cards for kids at Party City (you can get it online if you don't have one where you live). They sing happy birthday with the child's name on the card and in the song!!! They are $6. Pricey if you also take a nice gift to a party.... but PERFECT for the "no gift" parties!

I don't know if it's rude to bring a gift, but you will make the others that complied with the request for no gifts feel bad.

If they ask for "no gifts" there is a reason and that request should be honored. A nice card would be great.

After a parent has gone through the trouble and expense of a party, I would NEVER appear without a gift, no matter what the invite says. I wouldn't get a giant gift, however, I am sure that no parent out there would object to a book for their child as a gift. I think most parents put this on their invitations to avoid getting more toys, which face it, most kids don't need more of. If you're still feeling unsure about this, why not bring a hostess gift for the mom, like a bouquet of flowers.

Yes, I think it's rude.

Yes, it would be rude to bring a gift, not just to the hosting family, but also to the other guests invited. I've seen breaks in the rules handled well and poorly.

I've been to several parties where they said "no gifts", I brought no gifts and most everyone else did the same. Those who went against the wishes had their gifts tucked away to be opened at another time.

I've also been to parties where the same thing happened, but the gifts were instead opened in front of everyone in a production. That was a totally horrible feeling.

If you really feel that you must bring a gift, send it ahead of time or tuck it away.

We tried "no gifts please" for my older son, but many people brought gifts. Now we request items and donate to charity. My middle son's birthday was last week and we requested items for the Ronald McDonald house (paper towels, toilet paper, trash bags, etc). If she said "no gifts", I would respect that.

If you have to bring something small that fits in a card - like a gc for mcdonalds or target or something like that - where it can be opened inconspicuously.

I've said No Gifts many times and someone always shows up with one anyhow - seems silly to push it.

My girlfriend put this on her invitation. I as well as everyone brought a gift. I dont know that people really listen. It is kind of a nice-ity.... i think anyway.

Edited: I am personally not comfortable with attending a party without a gift. I do like the silent giftcard in card, or sending gift in advance idea. I dont know why or when this tradition started. I just feel that, to me, it is very important to celebrate the childs birthday with a gift. (even a tiny gift)

Why not ask them when you RSVP?

Hello, I can understand how you feel. Why not call the mom and say I feel funny/akward not bringing a gift. See what she says. Maybe they sat down as a family and decided that they want a party, but no gifts are needed. It's not a matter of being "rude" it's just what they want. Let us know what happens.

Having hosted a party where we asked for no gifts (we have too much stuff as it is), I can tell you that it made me uncomfortable that some people brought something. I felt like the people who followed the "no gift" request might have felt bad, though we really did NOT want anyone to bring anything.

So if you feel like you MUST bring something, I love the idea of bringing flowers, or maybe a balloon. This way, they can become part of the party decoration, it's not a "gift" to unwrap, so others who didn't bring anything won't feel out of place. I also really like the idea of a donation to charity in their name-- you could make the donation ahead of time & give them a card that says you did that.

I would just take a card.

In my experience, it's usually because they feel the child really doesn't need anything more or they plan on having a smaller party with gifts and just family on a different day. I've been invited to such parties and I did witness people bringing gifts but the mother just kept repeating, "really, this wasn't necessary, really!". But one thing a mom did was bring in some fresh flowers for the birthday girl, I thought it was a thoughtful gesture w/o feeling the guilt of not being able to bring a gift:)