Need Help with Wording on a Wedding Invite

Updated on July 06, 2008
S.C. asks from Norwood, PA
22 answers

my sister and her fiance are getting married in a few months and they have asked me to help out with writing their invitations. my sister would somehow like to include our deceased father's name and also my mother's (who has since moved on with someone else, but is not married..). my sister's fiance's parents are both still married.
i know there must be some kind of proper wedding etiquette on this but i have no idea. i've been trying to come up with ideas in my head but having no luck. can anyone help? thanks.

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So What Happened?

okay, first i want to thank everyone for their responses. they were all very helpful. that being said, my sister and i have almost decided on what we will write. this is how it may be said
" ms. jane doe
mother of susie doe
{also daughter of the late john doe)
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
to
bob smith
son of
mr. and mrs. smith
on saturday the twenty-second of november
two-thousand and eight
at two o'clock in the afternoon"
*****if anyone has any thoughts on this i welcome any comments. the wedding is not til november, so we have a little time to play with this.
**thank you all so much for your help!!

Featured Answers

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S.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think what one person suggeted sounds lovely -
daughter of Susan Smith and the late beloved John Smith

1 mom found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi S.,
We had a difficult situation also when we got married. One father was deceased and one severely ill. So, I worded my invitations "(groom's name) and (bride's name), together with their parents, invite you to share in the joy as they are united in marriage"
This way no one was excluded and we avoided any ackward wordings trying to include everyone. Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

How about mentioning the moms name and then seperate line and in Memory of (the fathers name).
If you look up wedding ediquette on line you will get answers but they may not be what your sister wants .She should do the wording the way we she wants it. Good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Williamsport on

My best suggestion is to not put any parents' names on the invitations...

Our family requests the honor of your presence at our wedding on August 5th, 2008.

Together, we and our families invite you to share in our special day by attending our wedding on August 5th, 2008.

Etc. good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi S.,
I was wondering if your Mom is the one hosting the wedding celebration or if your sister and her fiance are the ones hosting the wedding? Well, not sure and assuming that it is your Mom who is the one extending the invitation this is what I came up with and hopefully it will get some of your creative juices flowing! Jane Smith (your Mom) proudly invites you to join her in celebrating the Wedding Ceremony of her daughter of the late Edward Smith, Sally J. Smith to Jack Doe, son of John and Mary Doe, on Saturday, November 18, 2008 @ 3:00 p.m. @ St. Lukes Church, Franklin Road, Cranberry, PA with an adult reception immediately following at the Sheraton Hotel on Perry Highway in Cranberry, PA.
I hope this helps you out and I wish you and your sister all the best. God Bless,
~D. M~

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J.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Both my parents and my husbands parents are divorced, so we put "together with their parents" to simply the situation on our invitation. I was at a wedding in November in which the brides mother passed away years ago, so it said "the memory of ..."
I think the it would be nice to say something like "together with their parents and the memory of ______" Bob and Jane would like to invite you etc. Hope that helps.

Tell your sister not to stress, and enjoy her day as much as possible. It goes so fast.

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M.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

we had a similar situation...my husband's mother had passed away, his dad was single, my parents were divorced and both remarried. we ended up using the "together with their families" line on the invitations. in the programs, however, we listed our parents and identified them, so that we were able to include everyone. also, i believe i read somewhere when i was planning the wedding that it was incorrect to list a deceased member of the family on the actual invitation, that you were to identify them and such in the program for the ceremony.

if you want more specifics, let me know, i still have our program file saved and our invitation wording saved.

hth!
M.

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C.S.

answers from Lancaster on

Hi S.!

Here are a couple of suggestions:

http://stylishweddingideas.com/articles/samples_of_weddin...

If your mother is not paying for the wedding, it actually isn't necessary to include your parents at all--that would be in the wedding announcement in the paper and/or if they send out wedding announcements because they cannot invite everyone they would like to.

Also, and you probably know this already, your mother's companion isn't listed, even if he is a great guy and considers your sister his daughter. In more formal circles, only the lifetime marriage commitment to your mother gives him the privilege to be listed as a father.

I personally would opt for "late" over "deceased", just because I think it sounds less sterile.

Some examples of this are: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=2007083111064...

But, the error I see with: Daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. John Doe is that it sounds like they're both dead! How about: daughter of Susan Smith and the beloved late John Smith?

Whatever you choose to do, I wish your sister much lifetime happiness and applaud you for being so giving to help your sister in this fun and exciting time!

C.

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M.D.

answers from Scranton on

I have no idea about this since I've never had a wedding but I 've heard that you can go to www.getmarried.com and get all kinds of tips such as this and much more. Best of luck.

Mom of 4

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P.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Please RSVP

You are cordially invited by (mother's full name) and (father's full name followed in parenthesis (deceased) to the marriage of their daughter (your full name)
etc.etc.etc.

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J.T.

answers from Scranton on

Well, its hard to mesh both situations but here are the proper way to do both and maybe you can figure how to do both.

Proper wording for one deceased parent to be mentioned
Maria Louise Jones
daughter of Margaret Elizabeth Jones and the late Mark Allen Jones
and
John Matthew Smith
son of Mr. and Mrs. James Michael Smith
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

And here is the proper wording when the mother is remarried )I know you said they aren't married)

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Adam Waters
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Ann Katherine Jones

Maybe you could do

Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones and the late Mr. Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Jane Smith.
(the smiths being your parents and Mr.Jones being your moms new partner). And you could also mix this with the parents of the groom if they want it worded that way too.

Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones and the late Mr. Smith
and
Mr and Mrs James Walker
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children

(The Walkers being the grooms parents)

I hope this was somewhat helpful
J.

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E.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm sure that if you look in some wedding planner there's ettiquette on proper wording. I think that I once received an invitation that had a "D" in parentheses that meant the parent was deceased.

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J.K.

answers from Harrisburg on

Come celebrate the wedding of ____________, Daughter of _____ and of______________ To her Knight in shineing armor(or any thing like that, best friend, ect.) _______Son of ________and _______ on ___________ at_______________.

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I searched the internet and found this at http://www.mountaincow.com/newsletter.article.wedding.wor...

One parent is deceased, remaining parent hosting,
Version 1

Emma Marie
daughter of
Stuart Foster and the late Meredith Foster
and
Walter Christopher Hough
son of Theodore and Harriet Hough
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday, the eighteenth of June
Two thousand and four
at six o’clock
Greenacres Country Club
Somerset, New Jersey

One parent is deceased, remaining parent hosting,
Version 2

Emma Marie
daughter of
Stuart Foster and Meredith Foster, in blessed memory
and
Walter Christopher Hough
son of Theodore and Harriet Hough
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday, the eighteenth of June
Two thousand and four
at six o’clock
Greenacres Country Club
Somerset, New Jersey

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S.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When I got married we used this form:

Jane Doe, in memory of the late John Doe, requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Lucy Doe to Jack Smith, son of Bill Smith and the late Rita Smith,...

It was pretty soon after my dad died, which may have influenced our choice, but I'm still happy with what we chose 11 years later.

S.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

See if you can find a copy of Emily Post's Wedding Ediquitte (forgive my spelling). I had a copy when I was preparing my wedding and it had the answer's for everything!! I'd look it up for you, but I passed it on years ago. I'm fairly certian you can find a copy (updated no doubt) at any good bookstore or library. Best wishes for your family!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Not sure I am fully understanding your question,as I was confused by the part where you said your sister's parents are still married (?).

Who is "hosting" or paying for the wedding?

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L.S.

answers from Lancaster on

S.,

First I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is difficult.

I googled "wedding invitations with deceased father" and came up with several websites that have suggestions. My father passed away 2 years ago and although i am not getting married I can understand you wanting his name on the invitation. If you can not come up with the right wording you can always include him in a small prayer during the ceremony or at the reception or in the newspaper (if you are putting it in one).

Congratulations and I wish you well.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Maybe for your father it could be "the late but never forgotten" or always remembered and always with us. I hope that helps. As far as your mother moving on with someone else, they technically aren't married and he has only since been a part of your life assuming while you were adults so I would just keep it simple unless of course he is helping with the wedding then there is no reason in the world you couldn't have all the names there. Good luck

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had the same situation when I got married. My mother had passed away, but my father was not married. I said the following (pulling my invitation):

My fathers name request the honor of yor presence at the marriage of his daughter (me) daughter of the late (my mom's name) to my husband blah blah blah..

If you insert your mom's name in the beginning and then your father's that should work.

Another suggestion is to go to some printing places (where invitation can be purchased) and look thru their books.

Good luck!

Jen

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L.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Together with their parents
Tom and Sally request the honor of your presence....

Tom and Sally
Parents Names etc

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L.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

wow, that's a tough one. I saw someone with divorced families write,

Together with our parents...

Bride's name
and
Groom's name
request the honor of your presence....

But that doesn't put your deceased father's name on the invite. What if she put something in the wedding program and lit a candle for him during the ceremony? That way, since it would say what she was doing in the program everyone would know what it was for and she could have a "private" moment remembering your dad on her special day.

Good luck!

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