Need Advice on Whether to Move or Stay Put.

Updated on November 28, 2007
S.M. asks from Crowley, TX
6 answers

*This might be a little long.*
So as of yesterday my husband has gotten a promotion at work and a substantial pay increase. This is absolutely a blessing for us. We are presently living in an apartment that we have been in for going on our third year. It is a two bedroom one bathroom. We are thinking now of moving to a three bedroom two bath when our lease is up in September. (Yes I know it's still a ways off but I am a huge planner) We have wanted a bigger place for a while but are just now going to be able to afford it. It would be nice to be able to buy a house but right now we are just not able to due to credit problems. So that being said, my issue comes with where to look to move into a bigger apartment. Should we move closer to my husbands work since it looks like he will definitely be staying with the company for the long haul or should we stay around here to keep my son in the same school he has been in for the last almost three years? Some factors in the decision to move are that even though my husband has gotten a promotion he has only been with the company a year this January. Also if we move and my son has to change schools this would be the 5th time he would have to switch schools since Pre-K. (I was young and thought I was doing what was best for our family by either moving to a cheaper place or closer to a job in order to save money during the times we moved so much and it did help at the time but I didn't really thing about how switching schools would be difficult on my son.) Another thing though would be that if we do move closer to my husbands job is that's the area we hope to eventually buy a house within the next 5 years so he wouldn't have to change schools again when he is older when we buy a house. And we would plan on staying in this new apartment until we can buy a house. So if any of that makes sense what would you do? Should we stay around this neighborhood when our lease is up or move closer to my husbands work? We could just stay put but my son is getting older he is 8 and my daughter is almost 3 and I really think they need their separate rooms. Any help is appreciated greatly!

*We are working on our credit in order to buy a house and the estimated time that things will be paid off and taken care of will be in about 4 to 5 years and that's not just paying the minimum. Also we would all like to be in a house but over all for us staying in an apartment would work out the best. My son does have friends but none he sees out of school so we don't have kids coming over all the time so we don't need the yard a house would have.

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S.

answers from Houston on

Hi there !
Why don't you see about getting a bigger place in the same area, so your son can continue to go to the same school !
Or possibly a rental house something w/ a yard ! At his age he probably has lots of friends and would be sad to move and leave them.
Good luck !

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Whether you move or stay depends entirely upon what you think is best for your family. I just wanted to tell you not to be too h*** o* yourself. Try not to feel guilty about moving your kids. I grew up on military bases. We moved around quite a bit. I wouldn't change my experience for anything. Kids are more adaptable than you might thing. That being said, I know how hard it can be on you when your children tell you they want to go back to their old house. I just moved here from out of state and it broke my heart to hear my 3 year old asking for his old friends and his old house. He DID adjust, however, and this has been a GREAT move for our family. Good luck with your decision!

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

My opinion is to stay put for a few reasons........

Put every penny of the pay increase in savings and get out of debt. You are already living on the wage he had, keep doing that and you will be better off in the long run. I know that sounds tough (delayed gratification) but you can get into more trouble faster if you start earmarking that money before it is routinely there. You mentioned that you are in debt and have credit issues.........what a blessing to have the extra money coming in to help you get out of debt faster and establish some credit.

Stability for your son. At least let him get finished with elementary school before you change things again. Moving for kids is rough. Changing schools, friends, etc.

Lastly, if you must rent and you still want that larger place, find a house with a lease option to buy. Establish good credit with the landlord and get on your way to ownership.

I did not intend to come across rudely or insensitive. When my hubby and I met 22 yrs ago and married 19, we were living on peanut butter and can vegetables. You CAN get out and make it work. This new raise can be a new beginning. We are far from that situation now and blessed with healthy family and dream home. It is hard.

God Bless you.
Susan

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

If you want to move into a larger apartment, but your lease is not up for a while, check within your apartment community to see if they have any bigger apartments (a three bedroom or maybe a two bedroom with a den you could use as a bedroom). A lot of complexes will allow you to switch units within the complex without paying the re-letting fee. Also, you would not have to come up with a deposit, app fee and other expenses involved with moving. This way you have more space, but you keep your expenses down, and you don't have to change your son's school.

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H.G.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,

It is good you are taking everything into consideration well in advance. Short answer: I am somewhat in the same situation as you, and we are staying put.

(very) Long answer from a fellow planner: I think you should stay put. Use your husband's promotion as an opportunity to reserve the extra funds to pay down your debt. I know you would like more space, but think of how much more space your children will enjoy in a few short years when you are able to become a home owner! In the meantime, their ages are still young enough that boy/girl privacy isn't an issue. You can always do things to provide short periods of privacy though. For example, allow your son to have the room to himself for a few hours by taking your younger child to a park or by letting her know that her big bro needs alone time. Make it a game, and it could work.

I really think the larger issue is to consider the cost savings advantage you have to staying put. If you are very strapped for space, then often times rental communities will allow you to transfer within the property or to other properties before your current lease is up with $0 to low transfer fee. Usually your lease will be voided and a new lease will begin, but since you will be a renter for a few years, this shouldn't pose a problem. If you moved, you could bargain with the property for a lengthier lease at a reduced rate. *I've done it, and they do bargain.* Call for rates first, as if you are a new renter. That way you know what they are offering. You would be surprised that with specials it can be less than you are renting at.

As for children switching schools and when is the best time...children are resilient, especially if they have positive support from sources external to the school environment; stable homelife, involvement in other aspects of the community- church, social groups, family close by. However, if you think in the long run you are going to move closer to your husband's work, then I would do it prior to middle school. Middle school age is a time for great change and who wants to be a kid who doesn't know anyone on the first day of middle school?

My husband and I have one child who is of school age. We moved between states three times in our eight year marriage and our child has attended two elementary schools. We currently live in an apartment in Katy. All of the people we know own homes. We relocated here almost a year ago and have decided to stay in our small apartment for several more months. I decided to not compare what we have to families around us. We are younger than most of the families around us and therefore are in a different situation financially. We used this opportunity to pay off all debt and now are adding to the savings we already had while we decide where to buy. In the meantime the housing market is dipping a bit in our favor. It is smart of you to free yourself from debt before making a long-term investment that is going to take up about 40-60% of your budget.

Finally, living close to your husband's place of employment may not be what you want in the long run. What if the schools and neighborhood aren't as good? It is better to do all of your research before you make a move again. Take advantage of this time to do your research. Houston and all of its burbs is a large area with plenty of good and bad neighborhoods and schools. Although my child is only in second year of public school I am researching neighborhoods all the way up to high school and doing 20 yr comparisons on how the areas have or have not changed. My husband works 50 miles (one way) away from where we live and I work 25 miles away. So far we have decided to stay where we are simply because of the schools and the community. When you buy a home you are not only buying a building but you are buying into a community and a lifestyle long term. To get our child involved with other kids (since we do not have a yard or space for friends to come over) we get involved in community and school activities instead.

Best wishes to you!

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C.K.

answers from Dallas on

When I was looking to move this summer I posed a similar question about which area of Rockwall to move to. Since I also have a child with ADHD I was going to be picky about schools so someone advised me to visit potential schools in the area where I was looking to move and try to find a home/apartment in the vicinity of the school I liked best.

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