Need Advice on Sleep for 8 Week Old

Updated on August 07, 2006
C.S. asks from Evanston, IL
24 answers

Wondering about when to start a bedtime/naptime routine for my daughter. I started paging through "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and I'm feeling overwhelmed. ALSO, any input on the routine itself would be great.

Right now, she takes 2 long morning naps and several afternoon/evening 15 min/30 min/1 hour cat naps. She has normal fussiness at night (tho longer than normal I think, can range from 4-6 hours), and has been sleeping 5-6 hours at night since 1 month. The only consistency is she starts her long night sleep usually around 11pm and up around 5am.

My husband and I are not good with routines, so it is not coming naturally to us... HEEEELPPPP!!!

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So What Happened?

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I was feeling so anxious/panicked and just needed some reassurance. Please understand that my goal is to get her the rest she needs, not make my life more convenient. My plan is to continue to let her take the lead till she's at least 3 months old. This will give me time to learn Dr. Weissbluth's method so I can proceed with complete and not partial information. And of course, I will be flexible! As many of you pointed out, every child is differrent. Thanks again everyone! PS I found this blurb by this doc which was a helpful soundbite... http://www.dadmag.com/dadskills/doctordad.php

DEC 21: Now she's 6.5 months, and just started sleeping from approx 7 till 7. We have been letting her take the lead the whole time, mainly just watching her for sleepy cues (lately, she starts to sing like an opera singer) and following a 2 hour awake rule. I finally feel like I'm in the Mom groove... a haphazard but wonderful thing!!!

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

I used the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hoog, it was aweseme, helps a great deal with routines and is easy to follow. good luck to you. :)

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P.

answers from Chicago on

My advise is to start no. Babies are smart little things and they catch on fast. Also I would try to keep her awake sometime after 4. She'll be cranky for awhile but at least you know around 7ish you can put her down for bed. It will take time but she will catch on.

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C.

answers from Chicago on

Congradulations on your little sweetheart!! I also scheduled my babies (now 2 years old and 9 months old). I do home day care now and the 9 week old I have is on a schedule as well, and has been since she was just a week or two old her mom said. I really believe that a schedule with flex in it (to allow for growth spurts and such) is very good for babies. I used to work at a day care and would get comments a lot about how well my babies ate and slept and I really attribute it to their having a schedule. (I worked there from when my 2 year old was 7 months old until my 9 month old was 3.5 months old. So all that to say that I think you are doing well to set up a schedule. It helps the baby a lot, I think, as well as the whole family. Anyway, at 8 weeks old, I would do a 3 hour schedule, so she would eat every 3 hours during the day. 90 minutes after she begins to eat, you could put her down for a nap and then let her sleep for 1 1/2 hours. So, we'd feed the baby at 6:30, 9:30, 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Then naps would be at 8, 11, 2, 5, 8 and nighttime sleep would be 9:30pm-6:30am. If the baby wakes in the night hungry, I'd feed him, but then I'd wake him at 6:30am to eat to do the schedule again. My babies both slept through the night consistently by 3 months. The second was closer to 2 months because he was a good size baby. The first took longer because he was a preemie, so didn't have enough weight on him til later to be able to sleep through the night without eating in between. Like I said, I left the schedule flexible enough to if they cried hungry early, I'd feed them. Almost always when they did that, they would put themselves back on schedule within the next feeding or two. It took maybe a week for them to get used to the schedule and then keep it on their own (until they were old enough to go to a 4 hour schedule). I'd wake the babies to eat on schedule until about 4 or 5 months old when I knew that they would stay close enough to the schedule to eat enough during the day so they could sleep at night.
About the short afternoon/evening naps, the schedule would help to lengthen those a bit. I think it might be from the healthy sleep habits book, but any nap under 30 minutes is not good for the baby because it is not enough to get to the restful sleep, but long enough to trick the body into thinking it napped. That's probably why she's so fussy during the afternoon hours. Also, late afternoon is a common time for babies to have a fussy time, as the day is coming to a close. 15/15.5 hours is how much sleep an 8 week old needs. I think that too is from the Healthy Sleep Habits book. That's great that she is sleeping a 6 hour stretch in the middle of the night. Great for her and you!! :) Sounds like you all are doing REALLY well. And congradulations on the baby!!! What a little miracle!!!! ENJOY!!!!! Please feel free to contact me again if you want. I know it is something that a lot of people have such strong feelings about, some really against scheduling. But I've seen so many kids raised different ways, and I really think the schedule with some flex is so good for them. My babies did so well with it...it worked really well for them. I just wrote a whole lot...sorry so long...hope it helps. :)
C.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Chicka.
Congratulations on your baby.
Your baby is sleeping very well! This is a very good routine that you and the baby are in already! Don't torture yourself or your baby with a routine. The baby is way to young for that.
Gotta Go. My baby is crying--13 mo. crying at 5 am. :)
Amy S.

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T.

answers from Chicago on

Hang in there! My son is 13 months today. During the first 3 months he set up all the feeding and nap times. He was hungry so there was nothing I could do. At this stage, is all about your patience.

I am a 1st time mom after 3 IVFs.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Your daughter is only 8 weeks old, why would you need a routine.

Babys eat and sleep.

When my girls were only 8 weeks and even more they slept when they wanted to .

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C.

answers from Chicago on

I think my husband read tht you can start implementing a routine around 8 weeks. We tried it around 10-12 weeks and were successful. One of the tricks was to really fill him up with food before bedtime. We would start feeding around 7:pm. He would fill up & we would let him rest. Then feed him some more around 8:30 or 9. This would hold him over through morning. This is when he really started sleeping through the night. After that, the feeding times were: 1st, when he wakes in the morning, 11:am, 3:pm, 7:pm. He's now 9 months old and is still on this same schedule. Good luck!

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B.

answers from Chicago on

You can't page through that book. You need to read it all and follow it or go in another direction. I opted not to and my kids are decent sleepers. My sister followed it, and her children are amazing sleepers. However, I rocked, kissed, soothed to sleep and I have very warm, loving children. I feel my sister missed out on a lot of snuggling and wonderful moments. She prefers her 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Different strokes...

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, C. ~ I am very big on routine and my daughter is now almost 20 months old and very set into an established routine. We started her on a routine at about 4 months, which is when she started sleeping through the night. I think it's important to make sure she is eating at the same time every day and also put her down at the same time every day and night, too. Also, having an established routine right before you put her to sleep helps tremendously. That way she knows what to expect. To this day, my husband and I always read to our daughter before she goes to sleep no matter what. Hope this helps. Good luck! L.

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

I struggled with the same situation with my daughter (who just turned 5 years old). A book that helped me a lot was "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". The author talks about learning your baby's personality (which you probably already know) and following the EASY routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Your time). For my daughter I learned that she pretty much had a routine and I was screwing it up by expecting her to eat or sleep on my time. Anyway, check out Amazon.com for reviews and see if will help.

Best Wishes,
I.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!

I can share my experience for a bedtime routine, I was never able to control the naps.

I put my now 1-year old son on a routine when we came back for the hospital. At 2 months, I added the bath in the evening rather than in the morning.

Here's my bedtime routine when he was 2 months:

I would allow a good quality play time in his bedroom, fininshing with naked time on a blanket. Then I would give him his bath, take him back to his bedroom, dim the light, give him a quiet massage, trying not to stimulate him to much. And then give him his last feeding, without leaving the room, with no one else, still with the dim light, without talking but calmly cuddling (if the last feeding is a bottle, bring everything to the bedroom before the bath). Try to avoid sleeping during the 2-3 hours before bedtime, but that doesn't have to be a hard rule.

The whole thing can last from 30 min to 2 hours, depending on the time you have and the time she takes to eat.

After a week or so, she should understand the message.
Good luck!

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I read that book also and actually consider it the "bible" for good sleep habits. I found the key to be start working towards 2-3 naps by 12 weeks one shortly after you child wakes up (about 2 hours or so after the norm is between 8 & 9AM) and one in the afternoon (12 or 1 is the norm) and some kids need a 3rd at 4 or so (depending on their wake time). Also try to put your daughter down while she is partially awake for both naps and bedtime so she learns to put herself to sleep -- this is really important. She may fuss but in the long run it will be both beneficial to you and her! I made the mistake of always rocking my first to sleep and it ended up being a nightmare for me later on.

It's hard if you are not used to routines but having a good sleep routine worked wonderful for my two boys. It restricts you to be home at nap times but I feel the children are much more well rested which makes them less crabby.

Needless to say I call myself the "sleep nazi" mom because I stuck to the routines all the time. Same nap times and same bedtimes every night. It worked for me but again all children are different so I hope you find what works for you! Best of luck and keep me updated!

L.

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 12 year old, a 6 year old and a 4 year old...so this worked for me but it depends how you are. Your baby is so young. It needs naps. If you absolutely feel the need to cut out one nap, try and do so for one of the morning naps. Cut it short instead of long. Make it so she will sleep a longer afternoon nap. This is what helped me. It may or many not work for you and your schedule....or hers. Best of luck!

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F.H.

answers from Chicago on

C.,

I would suggest reading The Contented Little Baby by Gina Ford. My copy was published in 2001 but Amazon now has a new updated version which I have not read.

The book (2001) provides you with schedules for different months of age. The schedules start at 7a-7p.

I bought the book with my first child and was not to sold on the idea of regimenting my son's day. I was home with him and he was my job. But after having our second I needed to implement a schedule for our family's healthy functioning-and time with my 1st.

My daughter began sleeping through the night on her own at 1 year old. It was at that time that I started to follow the wake up time, nap time and bedtime. We love that schedule!

My sister used that book with her 1st and had a great schedule set up by 3 months when she went back to work.

Definitely worth checking out.

Take care and do what's best for you and your family.

F.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Don't impose a schedule on her, she's simply TOO young. If you relax and let her take the lead you'll see in no time that she has developed a routine of her own. With out any pressure from us our 7 months old goes to bed and wakes up at about the same time each day and takes 3 naps: about 2 hours after waking, around 1pm and 5ish give or take. He eats on demand and is one of the healthiest/happiest babies I've ever encountered. You'll find this is way of doing things is less stressful to you and baby.
Hope this helps!
A.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

My advice is to start ASAP. My daughter has been on a pretty routine schedule since she was about a week old, my son about the same, though it was harder to get him on one. She's 3 and he's 1 1/2 now. It's really a matter of finding the time that works well for you, where she is also tired enough to sleep. My kids have always napped between noon and one and sleep two hours on average because after the park or play time, they are tired enough to do so. As babies, they also napped at about 9:30 am depending on the time they woke up.

See when your daughter typically goes to sleep and just form a consistent pattern where on those few days she happens to still be awake, you lay her in the crib and let her drift away, or rock her whatever your system may be. Eventually, she will become accustomed to sleeping at the same time daily. At bedtime, I used 8:30pm as a general guideline. By 8:30, they were in their cribs heading off to sleep. Now they go to sleep at 9pm and sleep until 7am everyday.

Good luck and be patient, it may take a little longer to adjust than you anticipate.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Dear C.,
It sounds like your baby is doing great. Babies at four months have the capability to be trained, before that they are really too little/young. Plus their tummys are so small they need to eat more frequently. But it all depends on the child. My pediatrician said that a few babies get into a sleep routine very easily and quickly and a few have a very, very difficult time and then there is the rest of us. So don't be discouraged. The Healthy Sleep Habits book is the one we used as our guide for our little boy. 5 hours is great! It will get easier...just give it another month or two. L.

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D.

answers from Chicago on

Don't make your routine to elaborate. A simple get change in the room, brush teeth, read a couple of stories/songs, then tuck in bed. A very easy read for sleeping is a book called, Sleeping Through the Night by Janet Mindell. I give to all new moms I know. Babies are not to young to start reading to plus it helps with laungage development. I started reading to my kids at birth and now my daughter and I read stories together at night.

I am a former Kindergarten teacher and mother of 5 year old and 3 year old.

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M.

answers from Chicago on

I read the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Hapy Child', it is a wonderful book although it doesn't seem to allow for the individuality of each child. Your baby is so young and I think that it is very hard to create sleep routines at this young age. I was blessed with my daughter, as she slept with me for two months (everyone was panicking and telling me to get her out of my bed and that she would never be able to sleep alone) and I knew that when she wanted to make the transition to being by herself she would. Then at about two months she started to sleep by herself. She has only ever napped ONCE a day, I know that all the books say that she should nap twice, but it never suited her and so I let her do what seemed to work for her. I know that right now you feel as if your daughter will never sleep through the night and that sleep deprivation can make things seem impossible, but she is very young and in a couple of months you can begin trying to get her to nap less during the day, so that she will sleep at night. Two good day naps instead of many long ones will help with the night sleeping. We must not forget that we want our children to adhere to guidlines that everyone seems to say are right, but she is so small and finding her feet on the planet and she seems to feel that she needs many catnaps. If this is happening at one year, then it would be time to really get her into a routine, but now do not panic and know that you are doing a great job as a concerned Mummy. It all changes in a minute and soon you will be snoozing all night long and so will she. Keep the faith.

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

What works for us is the 2 hour rule, which I believe Dr. Weissbluth suggests in one of his books... put the baby down for a nap by the 2nd hour. You should start warming up the winding down before the 2nd hour arrives... say the words you want your baby to associate with Napping (nap time, sleepy-time,etc..) and get into the routine you'd like your child to associate with that time.

A baby sleeps as long as he/she needs to. If your baby sleeps 3 hours that's fine, but at 8 weeks - the 4th hour might be too long to allow the baby to sleep w/o feeding. However, a baby sleeps when it needs to and eats when it needs to.

My 2.8 year old son did great with the 2 hr rule. My twins are doing great with it as well. They are 9 months now and when the 2nd hr is rolling up on us, they will begin to yawn or rub their eyes or get grumpy and we know "its time" and for the most part they dont fight it. They lay down and nap and sometimes they nap for 30 minutes and sometimes for a few hours.

The only thing is that if your lifestyle cannot accomodate a strict routine like this, it will not work. Like bedtime, naptime should be part of the resting routine.

Good luck! and Congratulations.

(we had our son through Intrauterine Insemination, as well as our twins... I'm very happy you beat the odds :)

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

I found that starting a routine at a young age really helped my kids learn how to associate that routine with time to sleep. However, since you and your husband are "not good with routines," I wonder if forcing yourself to do it is the right thing for you and your family. I strongly believe in trying different things until you find what works best for you all.
If you decide to go the routine route, I suggest keeping it simple. What works for us is putting on pjs, reading a story (at your baby's age, a quick board book!), singing a song in the rocking chair, and then putting the baby into the crib. Until my kids were older, they were pretty wiggly during the stories, but because of our long-established routine, it's become one of their favorite parts of our day.
Best wishes to you with whatever you discover works best for you. Keep us updated on how the baby is doing! Congratulations.

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A.

answers from Chicago on

The book, "On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide" was a tremendous help to us when our first child was born. We used the methods in the book for our second child, too. We have two great sleepers - they have slept all night from 9 weeks of age and 12 weeks of age. I highly recommend it.

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E.

answers from Chicago on

Don't fret! She is only eight weeks old. My children (who were and are both wonderful sleepers) didn't get into a routine until 12 weeks. At first my son was up every 2 hours and through out the night until he was eight weeks old. Then he was doing the same thing as your daughter. In bed around 11 up around 5 or 6. My daughter was a bit mor cranky and was sleeping periodically and up a lot at night until 7 weeks. We just started trying to have her nap less in the afternoon and go down a bit earlier at night. By 12 weeks she was up at 5:30AM napping at 8:30AM until 11AM up napping again at 1PM until 3:30PM and then asleep at 7:30PM. This was her schedule until she was 21/2 and then she quit taking the morning nap. My son had the same schedule. My only advise is try (I know it might be hard), but put your little one to bed awake. It makes it much easier when they get older.

E.

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M.T.

answers from Chicago on

Follow what Dr Weissbluth says. I don't remember for sure but I don't think you can put an 8 week old on a schedule yet. Eventually she will be awake for only 2 hour intervals. And then grow to need less naps in longer intervals. I had sleep trouble with my son and as soon as I got Weissbluth's book it all fell into place and made much more sense. My son truly did need a nap every 2 hours. Don't stress about her sleep at 8 weeks. YOu should start developing a bedtime routine though - bath, book, song, etc...

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