Need Advice About Staying Home Full Time

The question of whether to stay home or not is completely up to you. It's what ever feels right. I work part time and I would recommend it to all moms. I have twin girls so I know what it's like to bounce from one child to the other and sometimes you just want to scream. Working part time lets me get out of the house twice a week and give me actual adult interaction and gives me a chance to miss my girls and get excited to see them after work. Good luck.

S.

Making the transition from working full time to being a SAHM was one of the hardest things I've ever done althoug I am so grateful I able to be a SAHM. I find that having a routine and a weekly schedule makes the day easier so that you're not just winging it every day. Trying to get out of the house at least once a day also makes a huge difference for me, even if it's just going for a walk. Ideally you can get both kids to take a nap at the same time! good luck!

I have been through that myself and it is really tough. Hang in there and it will get better. It takes time to adjust to the new routine.

You absolutely did not make a mistake by deciding that caring for your children was more important than some old job. Just a side note, I bet you were replaced rather quickly at that job, but you can never be replaced as "mommy." You made my morning just knowing that another mom decided to do the right thing! As you said, it is very hard to divide your attention and feel like you are giving each child enough. Hang in there, I'm sure you are doing great! Give yourself a break, I mean literally. When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a breather. Put your son down, sit your daughter down with a toy or book, tell her, "mommy will be right back," and go into your room for 2 minutes and breathe, count to 20, do some push-ups, or splash some water on your face. It may sound silly, but it helps to reset your brain and calm your nerves. Another thing that really helps is to go for a walk with your kids. Put your baby in a sling or stroller, let your daughter walk or ride her trike, whatever, just get outdoors and enjoy their company. The fresh air is great for everyone, and you can play games like "i spy", or "find some treasure". My kids love to take a bag on walks with us and pick up pretty wild flowers (sometimes weeds), neat rocks or just anything that looks interesting to them. When we get home, we dump it out on the patio table and they go through it while I make lunch. One more thing, get your daughter involved in helping with your son. Let her help pick out his clothes for the day, let her help dress him. It gets her mind on something besides tugging at your leg for attention, and at the same time, she is getting your attention. You will get the hang of it, and your days will smooth out. Just get creative. Don't stress too much. You are doing a GREAT thing, and in the end, you will be proud of yourself for being home to raise your wonderful kids. The key is to just ENJOY the job of staying home, and ENJOY your kids. Have a great day!

YOU DID NOT MAKE A MISTAKE!!! You did the right thing. It will just take a while to get used to a different lifestyle. You will be running back and forth for the rest of your life attending to their needs. But better that it be you than someone that doesn't really care. You have already found out that being a mom is much harder than going to work but it will be more rewarding in the long run. Your job now is to raise responsible adults and that shouldn't be left to institutional day care. Just think -- you will be the one nurturing them, kissing their boo-boos, watching all the "firsts" and teaching them your values. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! Nothing is more important than being a mother. I am a SAHM with five children and almost eight grandchildren. You can do it if you love them more than anything else in the world. Good luck!

The decision you made is one of the most difficult decisions a mom has to make. There is no "wrong" or "right" decision. Only what's wrong or right for you and your family. I struggled with this decision because I enjoyed my career so much. We calculated how much child care would cost vs. my salary. Virtually all of my salary would be going to child care. My husband and I are educators, and we personally feel it is best for one of the parents to stay home with the children. No one can raise your children better than you. With that said --- it IS the most difficult job. It's mundane. It's physically and emotionally and mentally draining. Even though you're in the trenches now, you won't regret it looking back. Few people will say I wished I'd worked more. Most people wished they'd spent more time with their children. They grow up so fast. Cherish them while you can. Now, with THAT said --- you've got to be able to keep YOUR sanity because being a SAHM will drive you crazy. Ideally, if you could pick up some part-time work --- that would be nice. I get my children involved in activities so it gets us all out of the house. We do yoga, story hour, gymnastics, swim lessons, dance, soccer, tee ball, play groups, park, walks, etc. I'm involved in a moms group. We do play groups, babysitting trades, and moms night out. It's nice to be around other mothers who can relate to your situation. You also need to set aside some mom time. Whether you get a baby sitter or get Dad to take over --- you need to do something for yourself every day so you can decompress. I take a bath each night and read a book. Exercise, hobbies, etc. are good outlets. Enlist your husband's help with the children and with the house. I have found that you can't do everything well. You can be a good mom or you can be a good housekeeper --- but not both. So my house is a mess --- but my kids are happy. Just see it as temporary --- until the kids are old enough to chip in and clean up after themselves. With THAT said --- Dr. Phil had a show about this big debate. He said something that I thought rung true --- it does no good to keep a race horse in the stable. If you are miserable staying home and are more in your element at work --- start looking for some high quality child care. It's the quality time spent with your child --- not the quantity. I personally don't see how working moms do it. I see that as two full time jobs. Because even though you are working --- the housekeeping and parenting always seems to fall on the mom. Then you HAVE to get your husband to be a team player. You have to be incredibly organized. All of us moms are going through this --- whichever decision we make. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your family. I sympathize with you no matter what. Parenting is just plain tough. It will be the most important job of your life.

You are doing a perfect job!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!!
I did the same thing and was tempted to go back to work when my husband graduated from school but I hung in there and how worth every minute of it it has been!! When my day is overwhelming, I just say to myself, "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"

just slow down and take a deep breath sit down with the bothof them and do some fun things that they like maybe they will like it when you spend time with the both of them then you will not feel like you are running around with your head choped off

Hang in there! You should adjust in time. Keep a schedule and that will help. Also doing something on a regular basis will help. We used to do a Mommy and Me group, and I worked PT out of the home, mostly during naps. When I had to quit working, I went crazy for a while. You'll adjust.

A.,
I remember when I also was a SAHM with two children.
I also had moments that I wondered what I had done to myself.
Looking back now I am so glad that I had the opportunity to have so much quality time with my children.
One tip I would give you: Assist your children in their road to independence and don't feel that you have to do everything for them.
With Joy, C.

working is easier but you just need some adjustment time try to have together time with them and one on one time and dont forget yourself. it was one of the best things i did was to quit and stay home i miss work but wouldnt trade it for the world. one thing that i founfd helpfull was to find some mommy groups or just a few friends that stay home so you can get out and see you arnt the only one going threw what ever it is you are dealing with at the time. ie the twos or teething what ever it may be :) good luck and congrats on the op to stay home

Congratulations!!!

Your right working is easier but aren't you glad that you are the one teaching your children? Right now they are probably extra maientence because you are home and they are adjusting to the attention. My advice is make sure you get out. I plan one errand a day even if it is just to go to Costco to get a hotdog and a drink. It may be more work now but it will be less work when they are grade school and have less problems discipline and emotional wise.

Yes. Working is definitely easier than staying at home. However, staying home to raise your own kids (rather than having someone else do it) is definitely more fulfilling. There's nothing else like seeing your child do something for the first time. There's no job or work event that could top seeing your child take his first steps or say his first word. That is why moms who can stay at home do it. It probably seems hard right now because you're not used to all the work it takes to raise children full time. But once you get into it and maybe get a routine going, you'll come to love it most of the time. Good luck, and congratulations on your decision to stay at home.

I'm there with ya, sistah! I quit a successful and lucrative career to stay at home with my now-19-month-old and 3 month old. I've eaten humble pie and take back everything I ever said about how stay at home moms have it easy. Working outside the home is EASY compared to raising children at home! I go back and forth between both babies and am lucky if I get any chores done or God forbid do anything for myself. I'm lucky if I can take a shower, let alone put any makeup on or do my hair. And to think I used to be a TV news anchor! Ha! If my viewers could see me now... I've never been so sleep-deprived and out of shape and yet am constantly moving to get anything done. I'm wondering why the pounds aren't falling off my body like crazy?? Ha ha! Yes, staying at home is quite different from my previous career track life. But I keep remembering to keep everything in perspective. I want children very much and staying at home helps me raise them, not strangers, and saves us money. Little by little, I'm getting out to do stuff again. Yesterday, I took the babies to a craft shop to make their hand imprints on clay for a father's day gift. It was FUN!!! Until my infant started screaming non-stop. Then it was time to go home, my stress level elevated... But nevertheless, they give me a smile and take a cute picture and I'm all better again. :) You will be too. Some day I hope to get back to work outside the home. I know I will miss my girls, but I do need that balance. I may not make nearly the money I did, but it will give me a sense of achievement beyond my family. Best of luck to you!

As you know, you are giving your children the greatest gift. You are right, it's more difficult than working away from home. It's a little bit of a rude awakening. I'm still trying to adjust... I will pray for all of us mom's who are raising a difficult, and strong-willed, but extremely bright and amazing generation. I find one thing that has helped a lot is those times I have been able to trade "play dates" with friends. The children have learned to love each other and get along well. When it was my turn to care for children, it didn't seem like too much more work than just mine. But when it was someone else's turn, I felt like I was getting a huge break.

Good luck!

i am expecting my first child this summer, and am working at a day care for a local hospital until the baby comes. After wondering if we can do it financially without me working, we have decided that we will do whatever it takes for me to be a stay-at-home mom.

One of the biggest reasons for this is because of my workplace. Though it is a great job and the kids are wonderful (most of the time!), it is amazing to see the difference in the temperament of kids that are there because mom wanted to work as opposed to the families that truly need the income. The kids know!

While obviously, every situation is different, and each family is entitled to make choices that are best for them, don't give up on being home with your kids! There are too many babies that hit milestones while parents are at work, not to mention that as they grow older, your children may have a hard time knowing who to listen to if they spend most of their days with someone else.

Good luck as you make this huge decision!

First I feel your pain...years ago I was a SAHM and then I went to work fulltime, quit the job and have been a SAHM for over five years. For me it was easier to work outside the home. I had a schedule and I was not available to everyone every minute of the day. You would think that being at home all day that my home would be perfect, everything done, picked up, put away, dinner at 6pm, blah, blah, blah but that's just not the case. It takes a lot of discipline and hard work. But remember that you did this for the kids. There is a poem that I have framed and hung on the wall for all to see....it's a bit long but so true.

Excuse this HOUSE...some houses try to hide the fact that children shelter there; Ours boasts of it quite openly, the signs are everywhere. For smears are on the windows, little smudges on the doors; I should apologize I guess, for the toys strewn on the floor; but I sat down with the children and we played and laughed and read; and if the doorbell doesn't shine, their eyes will shine instead. For when at times I'm forced to choose the one job or the other; I want to be a housewife...but first I'll be a mother.
Your kiddos are still very young, and before you know it they won't need you as much. So even though you are running like crazy this too shall pass very quickly.
Hang in there and good luck.

It is harder to start staying home later. But we hear you. Try to get on a schedule. Found out what works for you and the two kids. Stick very strictly to it (even through the tears and stuff...stay calm and barrel through). After a couple of weeks and the routine becomes habit, then you can loosen up a bit. but if all the kids know what is next, just like in school or day care, then they do much better. AND...go out with your friends in the evenings once a week or every other week. Join MOMS Club, or other group with a Mom's night out. You need to release your stress with other stay at home moms and get some stimulating conversation. Google MOMS Club...it saved me! Maybe I'll see you if you are in west Longmont

It took me about 6 months to adjust to staying home. Hang in there! It's tough, but you'll look back in a few years and be happy you made the decision to stay home:)

I have not had a job since our kids were born, so I don't know what it's like totally in your shoes. However, I am a SAHM of three children ages 4, 3, 18 months. It is the hardest job, and most rewarding, on earth. I am sure that it will take some adjustment time for you in figuring out schedules for them (and schedules for children is a must) and them adjusting to having you home all day. It is great that you are staying home! There are so many little things that are so important to be home for. First words, funny sayings, hugs, kisses, playing together, watching them play and create their imaginations etc. Enjoy your time, and I know that it is not always enjoyable. Hang in there and you all will love it and adjust well!

Staying at home is the hardest job we could ever have. I was a professional with a very good job and gave it up to be a mom after my second one was born. Working is much easier and I'll tell you why. When I was at work and asked someone to do something, they did it because they knew that if they didn't they would lose their job. Kids have no such boundry. They know that we can't "fire" them if they don't do what we ask.

It is a learned skill, to be a SAHM, but a very rewarding and worthwhile one. Try to ignore the tough parts and focus on the smiles and the laughs. It will get easier. However, don't give up being a grown up once in a while. Take up a hobby, go to the gym, go out on dates with your sweetie. The more happy you are, the more fun they are. I have been doing this for 9 years now and wouldn't change a thing. Some days are better than others. The time will come when we can go back to work, but you never get back their childhood.

Hi A.,

I totally know what your going through, I worked full time for 10yrs and just within the last 11mths have stayed at home. My husband got a pretty big job promotion and I got to quit. I thought that was my dream to stay at home but I have had a rough few months. Trying to find my "identity" again and a schedule,how to keep myself busy enough w/out getting too bored w/everyday chores. My kids are 9, 3 which they do keep me busy and I love them dearly but you just switch stresses. I have just now started to get into somewhat of a rutine and am feeling better about myself. I dont know if you go to church anywhere but I go to a STAHM's Bible Study at my church, and they also have 1 mth playdates there to in the gym for the kids. I also got involved w/my 9yrd school PTO and have done a garden this year. You will find your niche, I promise it just takes some time. What also helped was my husband takes me on a date once a month. You pick the date thats good for you ie...when you feel the most stressed. Sometimes just going for a drive and ice cream was good enough:) Hope this helps, I didnt really give you a whole lot of ideas but just wanted to share w/you I know how you feel and your not alone.

Your doing great!
A. M

Hi A.,

If you think about it, switching to any new job is a big adjustment. I went back to work with my first and stayed home with the boys when the second baby arrived. It took me like six months to figure out how to balance fluctuating nap schedules and mealtimes. I agree; it is much easier to go to work than to stay home, however the rewards out weigh a paycheck anyday. My advice is now that the baby is 6 months, get him on a good 2 nap schedule and use the time during his first nap to reconnect with your daughter. Once you set up a routine, the kids understand what to expect and life begins to get easier. Plus your babies are at those great ages where you could pop them into the stroller and take them nearly anywhere for free! Lastly, you might want to check into a local moms group/club to meet other moms and to give your children a chance to interact with other kids. Good luck and hang in there.

You need to adjust and it will take some time. I have kids that are also about 18 months apart and it can be so difficult because your older one is too young still to understand the time you need to spend with the baby. One thing I think you should look into is a Moms group...a place you can go to get a little break and comiserate with other SAHMs. I attend MOPS. Usually MOPS breaks for the summer...but we usually have summer activities. You can check www.mops.org for the closest group to you. I attend the MOPS group at Waterstone Church on the corner of C 470 & Bowles on Wednesdays.

Good Luck!

And this will continue! You are doing great! Bravo for making that tough decision. I have been home for more than ten years and it has gone quickly. This really works for our family, my husband has been free to do what he needs to advance his career and support our family. I do think work is easier, no crying (ha ha!). I would think about enrolling the two year old in Pre-school(NOT Day Care!), then you could focus on the baby, and when the baby naps give the two year old attention. And try to have some fun! This time is so precious and goes quickly!

I went through the same thing after I stopped working. Staying home is definitely harder than working. There are no 15 minute breaks, no lunch breaks. It is non stop 24/7. You will adjust, it just takes time. Good luck to you honey!

I completely believe staying at home with small children is much more difficult than any job or career. We don't get as much praise or daily feeding of the ego. On the contrary, our children may think we are a 'mean mom' when we have to teach or dicipline them. However, it is worth it in the end and NOBODY will love or care for your child as well as you can. Hang in there, it is frustrating and at times I have had thoughts that maybe my kids would be better in daycare as I don't feel like the best mom. It makes me feel good when my kids call out 'mom?' and when I answer, they just say, 'nothing, I wanted to know where you were'. Don't underestimate the power of that!! Our kids need us! At the end of our life, we won't regret having spent more time at a job, we will regret not having spent more with the people we love!

When I made the choice to stay home it was difficult at first and I only have one! I would have gone back to work because it would be easier than being a loving patient full time mommy. I identify with your post.

Maybe a schedule would help? A schedule mainly applying nap & mealtimes at the same time everyday (easy to tell what it should be by paying attention to kids' inherent schedule), THEN you'll be sure to get some time to yourself in there during nap/quiet time. I can also add, that children don't have to be entertained ALL the time, it's not a huge deal if you don't respond RIGHT away. Boundaries for your own mental/emotional/physical health must be set, if you're tired, explain that you're tired to the 2yo and see if she'll take a break with you. Toddlers can be empathetic when given the opportunity.

Just like any other job, there is an adjustment period. Yours might be longer than others 'cause you're baptized 'by fire' thrown in with TWO little ones instead of starting with just the one working up to two. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, get out in person and work that network of other mommies, we have faith in you! You're a already a GREAT MOMMY for putting your children first!

It's definitely the hardest thing I ever did. I worked full time after college for 7 years and loved my job. When I chose to stay home full time (my little girl was 3, boy 1) it was SO hard for me to adjust. It's just a whole other world, a WAY harder one with no paychecks! It's difficult. You WILL adjust. Being a good mom is the most important thing you could ever do. What you do with your kids and the TIME you spend with them makes a much bigger difference long term than anything you could ever do at work. They need you. It's so hard when they're small. It won't last forever. As hard as it is someday you'll miss it.
Get the sleep you need somehow. It's amazing how much physical energy it takes and how much easier things are to handle when you're not tired. Take care of yourself. Ask others for help. Find little outs here & there. Realize you are their WORLD and it makes a HUGE difference to have you there. Listen to Dr Laura once in a while & it'll make you glad you decided to be a stay at home mom (backed with statistics & all)!

Do you have a baby carrier/backpack? There are so many things that 2 year olds and infants enjoy. If you try to do things with them together, that will help you feel a little more in control.
Here are some things that my boys both loved at that age (they're also 2 years apart):
Going to the park (baby in stroller or carrier)
Going for a walk
Rolling a ball (if the baby can sit up)
Riding in a wagon (if the baby can't sit up with the motion, put the car seat in the wagon!)
Run around the back yard (blanket for the baby--he'll watch his big sister)
Play in the bath (those bath rings help the baby stay upright--I got mine for $.50 at a yard sale!)

And if you just HAVE to do something with one, get the other occupied for a few minutes. Give your 2 year old some playdough while you feed the baby. Put the baby in his high chair with some crackers while you help the 2 year old glue an art project. Or do both at the same time so you can cook dinner!
Hope that helps a bit!

I, too, think work was easier. And I used to teach junior high! That said, being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I've ever loved.

Give yourself more time to adjust before deciding that this was a mistake. You've just made a huge change in your life.

You might find it helpful to join a mom's group. I did, and I loved having adults to talk to who were going through the same stuff I was, including the occasional questioning of one's sanity for staying home. Some that I know of - MOPS (interdenominational Christian affiliation), Mothers and More (mostly formerly and future working moms now at home with kids- includes an activist component at the national level), and Moms Club (nonreligious, seems mainly social, but I have no personal experience with this one).

Also, is hiring a little help possible? When my kids were the ages of yours, I hired a wonderful college girl who'd come in twice a week for a few hours. Many times when she was there, I didn't even leave the house. I just did things I couldn't do without her, such as nap, take a long shower, do some real cooking, read a book, paint, tend to my garden. Of course, sometimes I'd use the time to go out, too. Even the grocery store can be relaxing without your kids. For me, 4 hours of babysitting at $7 an hour equaled me staying somewhat sane, which helped me be a better mom. That was $28 a week - less than many people's latte budget. And sooo worth it.

Yes taking care of children is a time and a half job without pay but worth every minute. You need to give yourself at least 4 months to ajust to being at home. It will get easier but being at home with your kids can be so much fun. Be creative and do fun stuff like going to the park everyday. It is good for you and the kids to get out and enjoy the weather.
C. B

I don't have a lot of brilliant advice, but I will say that being at home is very hard, much harder than anyone who hasn't done it would realize. Just be patient with yourself, take time to adjust and don't expect perfection. Some days will be hard, but not every day.

I know exactly what you're talking about! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a nine month old son, and it really is hard to get in some rest time! It sounds like you're just trying to get used to the transition between job and home. I'd say to stick it out, and it will get easier and better with time. Things will settle into a routine. Meanwhile, try to focus on, not just meeting your children's needs, but also enjoying your time with them. :)

I stay at home with a 2 year boy and an 8 month old little girl. It is definitely a challenge. Initially you will have to adjust. I just don't try and please both kids all of the time every time, sometimes somebody is going to have to cry and fuss a little. I alway tell my son, "sorry sweetie, but mommy can only do 4 or 5 things at one time :) Once you get adjusted you will feel better. Make sure you try and schedule some time away from home for yourself. I find weeks when I don't get away from the kids, I'm not a very nice person. Also, if you haven't already, schedule what kid tasks your husband is responsible for, because it will feel like you are on duty 24 hours/7 days a week. Good luck!

Your children need your love, attention and teaching, and will benefit long-term from it. Please continue.

you are absolutely making the right decision and your right it is sooooooo hard being a stay at home mom. People don't realize the demands that little children place on us. It is so exhausting but so worth it. It may not feel like it right now but as you establish a routine and some structure the children will adapt and you will witness amazing things that your kids learn, do or say that you would have otherwise missed.

I always say that kids are more demanding than your worst boss. Your children will be blessed for the time, energy and sacrifice your making in ensuring that they grow up with the direction, patience, love and invested interest that only their mother can give.

Having said that it is important that you make some time for yourself, a little at least and make sure that you get some "adult conversation" time by either going out with the girls, having play dates or spending some time just with you and hubby.

Having some structure like regular nap time, snack time, library time, play dates, quiet time etc. will not only save your sanity but will help your kids know what to expect and create some harmony and balance in the force :) you are definitely doing the right thing, you will never regret this decision but it is difficult on a daily basis. The days are long with small kids but the years are short. Take care.

A.-
Mothering is harder work than it sounds!!! You'll get used to it! Try sticking to a loose schedule of what you're going to do every day and soon you'll feel less stressed.

hang in there... You just need to get in the routine and remember they are not use to having you around all the time either so they are going to want more attention at first. Remember that with your 2 year old - there are some things she can do for herself. Giving her some one on one when the baby is resting might be a good thing TOO. Could be as simple as reading to her.

Also don't get caught up in making up for when you were working - you're there now and just enjoy it because they grow up really fast. I know you have heard that a million times - I use to roll my eyes when people would say that. but mine are 13 and 11 now and I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

Have a Great day!

I think it's normal. What you need to do is get them on a schedule (chances are they were on a schedule at daycare).

Start with keeping track of when they eat and sleep (after a week or two, you'll see a pattern) and then create a schedule. Ex: Your son goes to sleep between 9:30 and 10:30 and 2:00 and 4:00 every day, so you know that putting him down for a nap at 10:00 and 3:00 is right on track. Once you know when they'll be eating and sleeping, you'll find time to do other things around the house. You're daughter is probably only napping once a day, so you know that you have a couple of hours when your son in sleeping. Use that time to give your daughter 1 hr of uninterupted time and then the next hour cleaning while she does an activity that she only gets to do when the baby is sleeping.

Once you find a good schedule for your kids, it's easier to plan your life around it. The trick is to stay on schedule. Plan your outings, appointments, etc around their naps and meals. Schedule in time with each of the kids, time with your husband as a family, time for you and your husband and time alone. Also, see if there are any mother's groups in your area (to get you out of the house, make friends, do fun activities). I recommend www.momsclub.org and www.mops.org.

It's a big adjustment, but now it's your job, so treat it like it. I'm sure you didn't just go back and forth between responsibilities at work, so don't do it at home. Just remember that it will take a little bit of time to work out all of the kinks.

It's really hard! I only have one and it's tough. It takes some time to get used to. Don't forget that they love you and what to spend time with you. I'm sure each is getting enough of you, but don't forget you in the process. I made my husband start doing the dishes, it took 30 min of cleaning out of my day- what a help! I joined a local moms group and it made a world of difference! They are women that can relate to you and give you much needed adult conversation and support. Check out www.momsclub.org for your local chapter. I wish you all the best! Hang in there!

Amen to everything that has been said! It IS tough! A lot tougher than many people like Teresa Heinz think it is. That is why I think that child care is one industry that is very underpaid. It is SO worth it though. As others have said, find a routine for yourself and your little ones. I want to emphasize that your children are very very young right now. They are just plain at an need stage in life. It gets easier as they grow older. For every minute you invest in them now it will all come back to you a year and a half from now when they run off and play together for a few hours every day and you are left to your own devices. Enjoy your time with them. Schedule in a small break for yourself each day with that new routine and go easy on yourself. It takes a while to get a routine in place and then as the kids grow you have to tweek that routine over and over to fit their needs and yours. I think your decision was very wise. Good for you!

Aww,I'm sorry your having a hard time right now. You definitely have my sympathy and empathy. You do just need time to adjust (as do they). That's not to say that it will magically be cured in time, staying home with the kids and home full time is very stressful sometimes, but it will get a lot easier once you and they adjust. Make sure you plan some you time so you can relax and have a breather and that will remind you why your your staying home:) You made a awesome decision to stay home and raise your kids - be proud and happy that you can do that :) Find some activities your children can do together. Maybe plant a garden together the three of you, art time, that sort of thing. And know your not alone, its the most wonderful incredible gift and also trying at times for all of us and we are here for you:) Good luck with the adjustment:)
Take Care,
S.

My advice would be to do things with your two year old. The terrible twos are bad enough with one kid running around. 2 seems to be the age where they want to help more. So when your 6month old is napping let the 2 year old help you do your daily events such as cleaning and cooking and use positive enforcemnts like im proud of you or maybe give them a little thing to do everyday and reward them with a toy at the end of the week for her job well done or for being on good behavior. Let your 2 year old help play with the baby do stuff with both of then at the same time so they don't feel that they have to compete with the other for attention and affiction now and in the future.

Staying home with kids does involve a lot of running back and forth, but if you get them in a routine it will become easier, one other thing that really helps is teaching the 2 year old to play independently, if she doesn't already, it really is easier if they can entertain themselves even if it only for short periods of time. Relax take a breath and know this, even seasoned stay at home moms struggle, I think staying home with the kids is harder then being a working parent, I have done both and there are days that I wish I was anywhere but at home, and yet I love being home for my kids, I think this is one of those things where the grass looks greener on the other side. Give yourself time to adjust. Good luck!

I chose to stay home when our daughter, Alex, was born three years ago -- now we also have a 9-month-old son, Bryce. I absolutely adore my children, but I can tell you in no uncertain terms that being a sahm is BY FAR the hardest job I have ever had.

I am not a good scheduler at all, but am working on it as time goes on. My advice is, at least for a while, cut yourself some slack on the housework and chores -- just do what really HAS to be done. Give yourself time to adjust to the incredible emotional demands that now lay at your feet (quite literally in some sense)... Emotional stress is so much harder on your body than traditional, work-related stress with deadlines, reports, presentations and such.

You've made an amazing choice for your family, but get your priorities straight and make sure you stay in touch with the joy of being at home with your children. A child will not remember a cluttered living room as much as she will remember that you always read her favorite books together before her naps, etc.

On balancing time between the two kiddos, find ways to involve your daughter in helping with the baby. She's a bit younger than mine, but I'll bet she would make a great little mommy. Buy her a special baby doll (one wearing blue would be great) -- play up the baby's "birthday" when you bring it home and let her select a name. She can take care of her little one like you do your son.

We've also made a big deal with Alex about what a great teacher she is for her baby brother. She is his biggest fan and loves hanging out with him. She sings to him, feeds him, and even races to his room to be the first to greet him when he wakes from his naps.

Just play up the "big sister/teacher/little mommy" roles and perhaps she'll become more interested in doing things with you and your son that will make it easier for you to engage them both at the same time. It will get easier for you when he becomes mobile as your daughter will find more ways to play with him... my two play crawling "chase" together all the time -- it's adorable!

Good luck with everything and don't sweat the small stuff...

i think that you are making a great decisioin to stay home. your kids need you so much more than you know. you can never get back those influencial years. befor you know it they are done and gone. spend the time you do have and enjoy being a mother to the fullest.. I am a stay at home mother. it is harder because i don't have the excape but so worth it in the end. i also work from home part time.. if you would be interested email me at ____@____.com no inventory, no merchandise no door to door it is great. i hope everything works out for you.

oh my gosh...i feel like i could have written this exact same post one year ago! i quit my job after my 2nd child was born and thought i would lose my mind for the first 8 months. it was HARD and i constantly thought about how "easy" working was since i at least had coffee breaks and could use the restroom by myself. :)

give yourself time to adjust. my daughter just turned one and i can finally say that life is great and i don't miss working outside the home (as much anyway). another thing that hindsight has taught me is that i was really overly stressed about how much attention each child was receiving and by being so stressed/tense, i was not helping the situation at all. be sure to take a little time for yourself each day when your partner gets home and can take the kids for 20 minutes. even a quick walk around the block can help. even if it seems like there are SO many other pressing concerns, the best thing you can do for your family is for you to find a way to keep your sanity!

hang in there - it really does get better! even though my first year of adjustment was so rough, today i am so glad adn grateful for this opportunity to be with my children!

I am also a f/t mom of two, an 8 year-old boy and a 5 year-old girl. I can totally empathize with what you're saying since I do the same thing. My kids love to have playmates over, which makes it really easy on me, however playmates are few. So I do a lot of playing with my kids and just the back and forth that you are talking about. It's normal and I think all moms are in that pickle. You are in a very busy period because of their ages, but it will get easier. The wonderful thing is that you have been able to make the choice to stay home and let your kids bond with you every day. I know it's exhausting, but later in your life you will never regret it. It DOES get a lot easier, just take it one day at a time. Good job and hang in there!

Hello A.,
I am a stay at home mom also and have been for the last nine years. I think that you just need some time to adjust. However, I was not working before I became a mom except for being a nanny. I was already around kids but it is different when they are your own. The sacrifice you make is truly worth it even if you don"t always feel like it is. The kids are probably adjusting too. I have had an adjustment this year because all of my kids are in full day school now. An awesome business opportunity found me and I am loving it. I am able to work from home and the company is incredible. If you would like any info I would be more than happy to talk with you. Maybe working from home might be helpful for you. L.

I remember that my daughter went through this same thing. She has stayed home now for a year and a 1/2 and things are so much easier and more fun now. She would call me often to lament and ask if she was a good mom and did she make a mistake. You will adjust and the kids will too. They are in a new routine also, and are going to need to see what works for them. Congratulations on your decision and be patient with yourself. S.

I think working is easier than staying at home full time. Not too many men understand this but being a SAHM is a 24/7 job. Many friends have also told me they felt the same way. You may need to give it some time. I know for me it is being there when my kids need me that make it so fulfilling. How is your support from your husband. Many times it is not just taking care of the kids but the greater expectations that are place on you like caring for the house all by yourself that make it difficult. It is frustrating but try and find the positive for a while. You may work again in the future but you will never be able to get back the time you will spend raising your kids. You are there greatest example because you spend the most time with them. It is your opportunity to raise the future, talk about a noble calling as well as a pressure. Give it some time, you are used to a different way of life and it is a change that will take some adjusting too. You may want to find some time for yourself to get away so that you can be a better mommy. Try a girl's night out or find some time for yourself while your little ones are napping or have them take some quiet time in whiche they know not to bother you. I'm not talking all day but and hour or so a day. It can help you refresh. Good luck and hang in there, time really does fly and it never seems to slow down. They will only be with you for a short while. Good luck!

Well, A., I can totally relate. I have a 4, 3, and 15month old all at home with me. Running after them has been all I have done in 2 years. I sometimes really wish that I would be able to get a job, but the daycare is soo expensive. Some days I want to pull my hair out! Then others when I see them playing together and hear their little laughs I think, "See what I would've missed" Its a very hard thing to get used to staying at home. I personally think you should hang in there. My mom stayed home with my brothers and sister and me and I think we were all better for it. Some studies even say that kids who have a parent stay home with them are smarter acedemically. I know my kids preschool teachers say that they are the smartest in their class, and my 15 month old is already doing things that she shouldn't do until 2 years. Try getting a baby gate and corralling them in one room, then sit on the floor with them. If you sing with them, read with them, and do all the things they like to do for at least 30 minutes they will be less likely drive you crazy for attention. By keeping them in one room you wont have to run around cleaning up after the little tornados! Most important: TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF and don't feel guilty about it. They and you are gonna be so much happier if you are rested and relaxed.

Welcome to the wonderful world of being able to stay at home with your children!!!! It sounds like you're just in an adjustment period - and so are your children. There's no doubt that being at home full-time can be exhausting, but it is so worth it. I was able to stay home with my babies for only a year (twins born when my oldest was 22 months old), and it was busy and I didn't always get things done that I wanted to, but it was time I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Maybe try to get a routine down, and let your two-year-old be a part of helping with the easy stuff, picking up toys, etc. I'm sure you'll get it all figured out and do just fine!!!! Have fun!!! Enjoy it all!!

Don't for get about your self. That is one of the hardest things for me. I try so hard for my kids that I forget about my self and then I am just not as good of a mom. So take time out for you!