My Son Still Wets the Bed.

Updated on August 16, 2008
D.U. asks from Yale, MI
28 answers

My son is 5 (he will be 6 nov. 1st) and he still wets the bed 5 out of 7 nights. We make him go to the bathroom right before he goes to sleep, but he still wets his pull-up. sometimes he even wets through the pull-up and onto his sheets. I also have a 3 yr old (almost 4)son who has been dry all night since he was 2 1/2 yrs old. I try to limit drinks after a certain time but when we don't eat dinner till 7:30 and his bedtime is 9:00 its hard to say you can't drink during dinner. I have heard that some people don't have big enough bladders and they can have sugery to enlage it. Just wondering if anyone else has heard of sugery to fix bedwetting. Any suggestions welcome.

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K.L.

answers from Detroit on

I take my 5 year old to the bathroom when I go to bed or around midnight usually. He is so used to it now that he rarely wakes up and will stand there and pee whilst still asleep !!! This way we guarantee a dry night and morning !!!

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S.L.

answers from Lansing on

Hi D.,
I have no experience with bedwetting, but I have heard that chiropractic care can sometimes help. I was just talking about this the other day with a friend of mine. She has gone to a chiropractor since she was little. One time she fell down the stairs when she was a child and after that she started wetting the bed again. Her parents took her to a chiropractor and the bedwetting stopped. You could at least call and talk to them about it. Maybe it would help.
S.

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T.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

D.,
Sometimes little boys bladders dont grow as fast as the rest of them. I know my dad told me he wet the bed until he was 9 or 10 years old. He just couldn't help it. He did outgrow it eventually. Maybe you should talk to your childs pediatrician about it.

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T.Y.

answers from Detroit on

Please don't resort to any kinds of surgery just yet. I thought my now 7 year old son would wet the bed til he was 16 or so...runs in the family. Not me :) Anyway, I've noticed within the past year that he wet the bed less and less, til finally, I can't remember the last time he's done it. Since he recently started playing football, I tease him by saying, "Oh, now that you're a football player, you don't wet the bed anymore, huh?" So hang in there, I hardly used pull ups though, I purchased mattress protectors and changed sheets daily. I think the Pull Ups gives them comfort. If they feel uncomfortable from the wetness, it motivates them to stop being wet. My son woke up every night once he was wet, I had him change his clothes and soak the wet ones. I really think he got tired of doing it, so he stopped.

Hope that helps some.

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L.V.

answers from Kalamazoo on

My youngest son wet the bed until he was 7yrs old. He is a very sound sleeper and the dr said that little boys bladders take longer to grow and mature. I didn't worry about it at all. We just didn't even talk about it or make it an issue. The dr said there was nothing my son could do about it. He used pullups at night and would often wet through these too. And then one morning he woke up dry and that was it...he never wet the bed at night anymore.

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

D.,

I have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. What we do is give a limited amount to drink at dinner and then no more for the night. The go to the bathroom before bed and then we wake them up to go to the bathroom when they've been asleep for a couple of hours. They hardly even wake up for this and go back to sleep immediately. We started this last fall with both of the kids and hardly ever have accidents now. We had to put plastic sheets on the beds and get rid of the pull ups completely (my daughter thought since she was wearing a pullup she could just go to the bathroom there instead of the potty - not a good idea).

If things don't get any better then I would suggest you take him to the doctor as there could be a medical reason behind his bedwetting.

My mother said my brother was older and still wet the bed.

Good luck and hang in there. :)

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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

My boy wet at night he was about five, my nephew who will be nine in November still wears pull ups to bed. I think that they are all different. I would put off on the surgery, give him time to outgrow this. Maybe you can put throw away pads under his sheets to make the bed changing easier. Try not to scold or embarass him, he's asleep, maybe he's a deep sleeper.

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

NO SURGERY!!!! IT WON"T HELP!!!!
Wetting the bed is about a sleep disorder and nothing else, doctor's have no clue how to deal with bedwetting. Surgery will not help, people do not outgrow it. Do not use the medication listed in one of the answers below- That stuff is dangerous! Bedwetting is hereditary too. Here is the link to the Enuresis Treatment Center. My firm used to do PR for this company and I am a believer, they have been on Fox 2 and channel 7 and national news. My friend's 10 year old son went through the program about 1 1/2 years ago and he is no longer wetting the bed. They have a 100% money back guarantee to stop bedwetting.

http://www.nobedwetting.com/.

Here is info from the website:

Don’t …Use Alarms
Studies indicate deep sleepers rarely hear smoke detectors and can sleep through fire/burglar alarms. Alarms alone are ineffective as the key component for ending bedwetting. Because the bedwetter is in such a deep sleep, they cannot be expected to hear anything.

Don’t… Use Drugs
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, less than 1% of bedwetting cases are caused by a medical problem. Drugs are merely a temporary fix for a complicated problem, and, of course, have side effects. Therefore, why would drugs be prescribed as often as they are? Drugs do not get to the core of the problem – the sleep disorder. Additionally, drugs cannot increase the size of an underdeveloped bladder.

Don’t…Use Pull-Ups
Disposable diapers, (Pull-Ups and Goodnights), simply prolong a child’s suffering from bedwetting. They serve to keep the sheets dry, yes, but the child remains wet all night long. Wearing diapers does not address the underlying and most important issue: the deep sleep disorder that causes the bedwetting. Most importantly, an older child wearing diapers tends to feel ashamed, and they are at risk for being humiliated if “discovered” at sleepovers.

Don’t…Reward or Scold for Wet or Dry Nights
The child is not wetting the bed on purpose. It is unfair to reward or scold for something that is totally out of the child’s control. The bedwetter is in the same deep sleep as a sleep walker, or a person with sleep apnea. Imagine being blamed for something that you can’t control.

Don’t …Wait To Outgrow Bedwetting
Advice to wait for your child to outgrow bedwetting is the worst advice you can get. While the child waits, they continue to feel different, burdened by shame and secrecy. Bedwetters can suffer with emotional pain and damage to self-esteem, especially when it continues well into adulthood. Most importantly, if a child were to outgrow bedwetting, then they are left with a sleep disorder that can no longer be changed. Symptoms of the sleep disorder will continue to manifest into adulthood, such as sleep apnea, sleep walking, and not feeling rested.

And that’s not all…

TBT Poison – (tributyl tin) This environmental pollutant, (found in disposable diapers), which has been in headlines for months because of its extremely high toxicity, has a hormone-like effect. It is absorbed through the skin, and the smallest concentrations of TBT can damage people’s immune systems and impair their hormonal system.

Environmental concerns – In the US alone, 20 BILLION disposables are dumped into landfills each year! It takes about 500 years to decompose-only if exposed to air and sun. Since most diapers are wound up tight and put in garbage bags and then capped at the landfills, the diapers, in essence, mummify. 30% of the disposables are not compostable. Disposables take up one third of our landfills, making them number three behind newspapers and beverages containers.

Here is how the business got started:
In 1974, Barbara Moore had a challenge to meet. Her daughter Gaile, then 6, was wetting the bed, and the frustration was mounting. She had taken Gaile for ongoing visits with a therapist, having been told that this condition was psychological in nature.
Then she admitted Gaile into the hospital for surgery (stretching the urethra), having been told it was a physical issue that could be immediately remedied. At her wits end, Barbara considered the prescription for Tofranil (imipramine), until she discovered it was an anti-depressant with serious side effects.
The final piece of advice was to give it time, that Gaile would outgrow it by puberty (8 years away). That was not an option for Barbara. She had an adult uncle who was still wetting the bed, and she could see Gaile was clearly being affected... she was hiding her wet sheets, denying her bedwetting, and was awakening sluggish and irritable. Gaile’s daytime hours were disrupted by her urgent and frequent needs to urinate, for which Gaile was prescribed Ditropan (Oxybutynin). This had no effect other than causing dry mouth. Equally alarming for Barbara, Gaile was often difficult to awaken in the morning, and would be prone to outbursts and easily frustrated as the day wore on.
So after exhausting all medical and psychological resources to no avail, Barbara took matters into her own hands. Determined to find a solution, Barbara embarked on a mission, eventually uncovering an internationally-recognized sleep study that changed everything. Based on this study, Barbara and her consultants created the treatment program, which is centered around correcting a sleep disorder known to be the root cause of bedwetting. Gaile was the first child to receive this treatment... and the first of many to awaken every morning in a dry bed.
Over the years, the treatment program has developed into an exact science to ensure that the outcome is consistently achieved and in the least amount of time. Together, Barbara and Gaile have built an internationally-acclaimed treatment center.

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M.A.

answers from Detroit on

I would seek out a doctor that is an expert at this- there could be a medical reason for the bedwetting. I'm sure that your son doesn't enjoy this either, so be patient and get to the bottom of this(no pun intended).

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J.A.

answers from Detroit on

D.,
Don't do the surgery, its too soon to even think about that. I had a similar problem when I was a child. My mom was frantic to figure out why. I wet the bed until I was almost 8. Finally after a major UTI that landed me in the hospital they figured out that I was so busy playing that I wouldn't take the time to use the bathroom I ended up with a spastic bladder. My mom had to put me on a very strict schedule of every two hours no matter what she or I was doing I HAD to go, it retrained me and my bladder to know when I was full and to empty out when I went. Be patient and DO NOT compare your boys no matter how frustrated you are. Good luck. PS I told my friend this, she was having the same problem followed the advice and it worked.

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M.L.

answers from Detroit on

Hey D....

Both of my sisters had the same problem with their sons. They were told that the bladders had not grown full term to catch up with their bodies. surgery was not needed. Their pediatricians put them on a medication (pill) that would help correct this problem. One of the kids were nine at the time. He is now 14...and he definitely no longer has the problem.
Good luck!

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H.F.

answers from Detroit on

My nephew wet the bed until he was about 11. My sister limited beverages, they tried this alarm that was supposed to wake him at the slightest sign of dampness, she would even wake him up in the middle of the night to go. She stopped short of putting him on medication b/c of the side effects. It caused them a great deal of stress, especially as he got older and wanted to spend the night with friends. Then one day he just stopped. A few nights later he said he wanted to spend the night at another boys house and she tried to talk him out of it b/c of his problem. He said "I won't mom. I'm positive". He's never wet the bed again.

I don't know how comforting this is -- 11 is a long way away. But if you're hesitant about surgery, this may be something he grows out of.

Good luck.

H.

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R.B.

answers from Detroit on

I read this little trick in a parenting magazine. I thought it was a good idea! Put a pair of underwear on your son and then the pull up. That way he will actually feel that he is wet when he goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Diapers wick away the moisture and don't really cause any discomfort. However, the wet underwear should hopefully wake your son up and after a few nights of feeling wet and uncomfortable he may start waking up and going to the bathroom. Good Luck!

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi. I have heard that seeing a chiropractor helps but I don't know for sure. Worth a shot!

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M.O.

answers from Detroit on

My son is 5, going to be 6 in 8 days! He still wets in his pull-up 5-7 times a week. I know a lot of boys take a lot longer for the evenings to be dry & I personally am just waiting for him to out grow it. As I know he will. I don't want to put him through surgury or put him on med. for something that he will eventually grow out of!! If you are truly concerned because he is bothered by it you could talk to his Dr. about it and research your options! :) Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Detroit on

100% support of the eneuresis treatment center. My son was still wetting the bed in 5th grade and it was a huge embarrassment to him. ETC was not cheap, but it was 100% effective. Big NO to DDAVP!

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P.L.

answers from Detroit on

D.,
My oldest son wet the bed until he was 13 I took him to the doctors many times for assistance they put him on a pill, then a nasal spray. They would work for awhile but then stop the nasal spray gave him nose bleeds. I would limit his drinks after a certain time; waking him up at night nothing seemed to work. My brother and sister also wet the bed until they were older my brother had a surgery to enlarge the opening to the urethra and he stopped my sister well I don't remember what it was the worked for her.
My youngest who is 9 still wets occasionally but his seems to be only when he is over tired and/or he has returned from his fathers house in which he had a stressful week (usually it has to do with what he is told there) Stress, lack of proper rest and being a hard sleeper seems to be the major culprits of children who wet the bed. There is a web site out there dedicated to different products for bed wetting. One is a sheet that alarms when it starts to get wet. I finally resorted to making him change his own cloths and bedding he also had to wash it. I taught him how to start the washer it helped to slow it down. I also believe pull ups are a crutch for most children although a comfort for the adults it is better to put the mattress protector on the bed and change the sheets. Eventually my son got tired of having to shower every morning before school, washing his sheets and wiping down his bed.
My oldest slept really hard he is really difficult to wake even at 17. He also has very large tonsils which may cause him to sleep badly although no one has ever suggested they come out.
They do out grow it I have only heard of one child who was over 14 who still wet the bed.
Talk to your doctor have them look at his bladder and if your doctor doesn't give you a good enough answer talk to another but I can tell you from experience most doctors do nothing till they are at least 8 or 9 years old because it is considered acceptable or normal.

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T.B.

answers from Detroit on

D.:

I would see a urologist right away about this. My son wet the bed well into his teen years. I believe he never developed a mature bladder size due to virtually never having gone through the night without wetting the bed.

We took our son to a urologist and they did many studies including an MRI. He had some reflux back up his urethra, but not far enough that the doctors were worried about his kidneys. He was on DDVAP for awhile, which did help. I have never heard of surgery to enlarge the bladder, but I have not researched this in some time.

I never tried the Enuresis Treatment Center. I feel the solution to the problem has to be in training that bladder to enlarge by somehow increasing the hours it is holding the urine. I am thinking it may take a very concerted effort on your part. I'm thinking if your son goes to bed at 9, you check on him at 11. If he is dry, wake him up to go to the bathroom. The next night, try at 12 and repeat. If he is not dry at 11, you may have to start this process at 10:30 for instance.

I think it is so hard for the little guys going through this. My son always acted like it was no big deal to him, but I could never buy that, especially as he got older. I also think he needs to take care of the putting the sheets in the washer, etc., by himself. This is not to shame him, but just so he knows this is his responsibility.

In the short term this is going to be a pain in the neck in terms of your sleep schedule, but I think the long term results will be worthwhile.

T.

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E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Dear D.~

Some kids continue to wet the bed until they are older. My son is a super heavy sleeper and just wouldn't wake up to go to the bathroom. I discovered that before he would wet the bed he would start grinding his teeth- like his subconscious was trying to wake him up to go. I found that if I went in around midnight and woke him up, and took him into the bathroom to go, he could wake up in a dry bed. We did that for years~ until he was in 5th grade. Now, at 12, he wakes himself up or holds it to the morning. I would not recommend surgery. Holding off on liquids for an hour or two before bed helps, as does cutting out evening sugar.

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi D.,

What your son is experiencing is entirely normal. Rarely, if ever, would a Dr. perform surgery for such a thing. And never on a child this young. It's not so much a matter of the size of the bladder, so much as how deeply your son sleeps. I went through the same thing with my children. First child wet for much longer than the other three. But I did the same thing as he did. He'll outgrow it. Some Drs. encourage trying to expand the child's bladder naturally, but asking him to hold it a bit longer during the day. Many don't recommend it now, because it can cause a bladder infection-ouch. And like I said, it's now viewed as more of a 'sleep disorder' that will be outgrown. Some medications have been tried to help the child sleep 'less deeply', but the last I read, that's not recommended anymore either because of possible side effects. Hylands sells bedwetting tablets that might help. Best of luck, S. P/S My son did outgrow it, there's hope :)

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

A lot of kids wet the bed, and it sounds like you're doing the best you can. I would allow fluids with dinner but not something sweet and not until there's been a bit of solid food consumed. Keep fluids after the meal limited to sips but be sweet about it. Surgery is far too drastic unless there's a health issue. Kids grow and develop differently. If bedwetting runs in either side of the family, sometimes it happens until puberty. I know this isn't good news, but many parents survive it. Whatever you do, don't make kids feel anxious or ashamed about something like this that they can't help.

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hello D., My middle child had this problem and it turned out to be a very small bladder. But you need to have this checked out to see if it is medical. She also had a spasmic bladder, so any carbinated drinks made it much worst. Dribbeling in the day time was also a problem with her. She had two surgeries to enlarge the bladder and they did help, but she was much older then your son at the time. I was told that pediatricians don't like to do that surgery anymore these days. She is grown and married now, but when she has to go it is still a rush to the bathroom. Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Talk to your doctor.

I have 2 girls, 7 & 10 who still have daytime and night time wetting. They both see a urologist. They've had testing done (can't think of what it's called, but a catheter is inserted into the vagina, filled with water, and voided to measure how it comes out).

My 7yo has been diagnosed with a plain and simple under-developed bladder. My 10yo also has adhd and takes stimulants during the day, so at night she takes melatonin to help her sleep, which is a catch 22 because she then sleeps through her bladder needing to empty. She also has urinary tract reflux, which is where the urine goes back and forth from the kidney to the bladder, to the kidney, to the bladder, etc. Then, all of a sudden, her body decides that she needs to go NOW.

I think that 5 years old is like the cut-off for "normal" wetting. All kids are different, but I would still see what the doctor says. I know waiting for them to outgrow it is hard and frustrating (you want them dry NOW!!! lol), but, like the doctor said, it just takes longer for some kids to catch up to others..... Good luck!!

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C.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My daughter does as well and she is 7. The urologist placed her on some meds called DDAVP. He told me that some kids kidneys do not know how to shut down into sleep mode and concentrate the urine. They continue to produce the amount of urine as if they were awake. This medication helps the kidneys get into night time mode. He also said it only works in 60% of kids and unfortunately it didn't work for our daughter. You may want to try that if your doctor thinks it is alright. The next thing the urologist suggested was a bed alarm. I haven't heard of the bladder surgery you wondered about, but maybe these other suggestions will help.

C.

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi D.,

My son is 12 now and take heart, he no longer wets the bed. He wet the bed until he was around 8 years old. Thank the Lord for pull ups. It was frustrating and we felt bad for him. Spending the night out was no fun. We did try all those things. Only worked sometimes. We just tried to be patient and as christians we prayed for him. One day he just stopped. That was it. He still has small accidents if he laughs too hard, but nothing else.
My friend told me she wet the bed until she was around 14. So I tried not to feel too bad. It seems much more common than I thought.
Maybe you could just let the doctor in on it, to make sure he is physically OK. Then patience, patience, patience. We just stopped making a big deal out of it. He knew what to do at night.
I know this doesn't give you a great solution. Hoping you and your son can find peace knowing he is not alone.

Oh and P.S.-His younger brother, who is almost 2 years younger, barely wet the bed and could drink like crazy right before he would go to sleep!

C.C.

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N.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hello D.,

My name is N. T, My children are 13 and 10 and they had accidents at night occasionaly for a long time and it is frustrating. I work in a dr. office and my suggestion is that you take him in to his dr. and explain what is happening, there are certain things that could be going on inside his little body and its good to catch them early. It may be that he is a heavy sleeper and can't get up in the middle of the night, but either way I would take him to see his dr. to make sure things are working the way they should. I hope that helps you and good luck!

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

My son did not have night dryness until a month after he started Kindergarten. He was daytime dry from about 2-1/2 to 3 but couldn't nail down nights until 5. During your son's wellness exam, I would ask your ped about it and they may refer you to a urologist to make sure everything checks out.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

D.,
You as the parent have to just be patient. My middle son was having issues on this matter long past 5. Why? Inner development. While the rest of him was developing according to his age, his bladder was like 3 years behind. It's part of being a parent, D.. You show them love and encouragement and change the sheets and wash them until everything's right.
I have never heard of surgery to enlarge the bladder. But if there is, is this for you and your peace of mind or is it really for your son? He's only 5. If he can stay dry during the day, that's half the battle. I wouldn't put any kid of 5 through a surgery if things will catch up naturally. Why put them through that?

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