My Son Is Just Not Getting It.

You are describing how my older daughter used to be. She struggled through math (and a couple other subjects). She would do fine with our help at home or with the tutor, and just blow the tests.

It took us until her junior year (poor thing) to finally get the right help for her (through public school not private) and we found out through extensive testing that she has ADD-inattentive type. So she is very, very distracted by sounds, pressure (such as a timed test) and other activity in her immediate area. Tests were a nightmare because of this. She ended up taking tests alone in her counselor's office at school for her last two years of school. It made a HUGE difference.

Also I want to mention that she was in private school for many years, and then we switched to public. In our area, the private schools are much harder academically than public. Perhaps your son is having a difficult time adjusting to that, and to other kids and a new environment, etc. See if you can get him some help through the school -- testing for learning disabilities, etc.

If he was doing better in the other school, why not put him back in it?

Is this a new pattern for him? If it is, then what does your son say is the reason for the change?

I think you should have him evaluated.. his distraction, his test failures.. reminds me of my husband.. He is ADHD.. He has learned coping skills, but it was a struggle for him in middle and high school.. His parents refused to let him take meds.. he still refuses..
It takes a lot of extra energy for him to get all of his work done..

1) are the "practice tests" you mentioned, his Class's practice tests per his Teacher/class... or is it from Sylvan or your own you have him practice with?

Is the actual tests... given on paper, or online in school?

2) Sylvan etc., is good. BUT, understand that the way they learn math and the methods taught per Sylvan... are not often times, the same as they learn it IN class, per the school. In school, many times, the children are taught Math, differently and the way they work out math problems and then to get the answers...are different. So even if he may be going to Sylvan and doing fine there.... it is probably NOT the same way, they learn math, in class, per his schools teaching methods. And sure, kids can get the answers to math problems in many ways.... but, in school, in class... they are taught certain math "methods" and ways of working out the problems... so the kids have to do that math, in that manner... as they learn in class.

all the best,
Susan

we are in the same boat... i could have written your post myself. we are in private school as well and their policy promotes "hands-off" for parents in regards to helping their children with their homework. since we moved to the school last year... i admit... i did try to help here and there to make his transition easier. this year... i've been more hands off and my son is now struggling with his studies. i ride that fine line between helping them or letting his do it and possibly fail on their own. i spoke to his teacher after he brought home another "f"... (he's never gotten and "f" until this year.) fifth grade is hard... this private school has a reputation for being challenging. he passed all of their entrance exams with flying colors. he's always gotten great grades... until now. she suggested that i do in fact help him with this studies. he needs the support right now to get his confidence back up. i am making sure he gets plenty of sleep. we've backed off on the after school activities. he's getting a healthy breakfast. in fact we are starting with a math tutor tomorrow.. provided by the private school free of charge. all of this has come about in the past couple of weeks. the fuzzy brain, the forgetfulness, etc. talk to his teacher and let her/him know what's going on. i'm not sure i said anything helpful here.. but i wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Math is so hard for some kids.
I'm pretty smart, but still I will admit I don't have "math brain".
My son was so terrified of math that he was basically not even trying.
My son's teacher and I came up with a game plan and you know what?
My son is actually very good at math.
He just had to conquer his fear of numbers and think differently.
I have tutured other kids who are terrified of fractions.
I think it just depends on how things get explained so that it "clicks" and once you realize that it's not so scary, it gets easier.
In my opinion, math is one of those things that you just have to find a way to click for you. Some do great with spelling, english, history, some do great with math and not so great with the others.
It's about finding what gets through.
Again, my opinion.
Maybe don't push too hard. Pressure could make your child more nervous. I know, like I said, that math made my son very nervous and it took relaxing and breaking it down a bit for him to realize he's quite good at it.

I wish you the best.

it sounds to me he has some type of focusing issues like my two sons. My oldest is now on Focalin and receives great grades but I have to constantly remind him everything.
I had some learning problems in school and my teachers/parents told me constantly I was lazy. I heard I was dumb from many teachers. Please dont call your child lazy. I am 42 and those words have never left me.
Get your son tested. See if the school can give him a Conners test. Good luck.

OMG. Ugh. I hated math so much and was never good at it. My dad would sit with me hour after hour at home trying to get me to "get it". I had tutors, extra work. I failed all tests. I barely passed school because of the math grades and math scores in the SATs. My report card was always As for art, english and drama and f's and d's for math and science. So what did I have to take MORE OF??! Math and science.

It's really a drag that every kids is expected to do every subject. My kids are young, but I'm guessing they'll have problems with math. My husband is also an artist and even worse than me at it.

Math made my life hell throughout school. It really caused me to rebel and lose all interest in school. I got very flaky, depressed, skipped school etc. To this day I can barely figure a tip in a restaurant and finally happily left clothing manufacturing due mainly to figuring the yardages and size scales and fabric widths..invoices..sales figures....even with computer programs......there's always so much maaaaaath to do. Just whining. I feel for your son. If only they would let kids waive the subjects they really weren't born to do after they've proved they tried.

I'm planning to home school or find specialty programs for the higher grades with an emphasis on what my kids are GOOD at, and hopefully they can find a niche for themselves like I did (thank god for art school) or just go to work in an appropriate career with no college. Probably a pipe dream, I know they need good MATH scores....blah-maybe they'll be good at it who knows. Anyway, you're doing the best you can, and whenever you can let him off the hook a bit and understand that math isn't his thing, he'll appreciate it.

My kids transitioned a private school this year as well. It is much more challenging which makes things very frustrating at times. Give him a little room for learning and transitioning while still encouraging good study habits. Empathize with him about being in a new place, new routine, new expectaions, but still holding him accountable. Although he knows kids in his class, does he comfortable and have good friends yet? What are other kids' attitudes toward school and studying?

I think if he had ADHD, he would be having problems in all his classes...not just math. Obviously, he knows how to do the math problems. Have you asked him what the problem is when he takes the real test? Does he panic about the time restrictions (if there is any)? Does he loose focus? What has the teacher said about this? Has the teacher giving you any insight on why he bombs the test but can do the work otherwise. Is he getting enough sleep? It doesn't sound like your son is lazy and just not doing his work, something else is going on with this class.

Your son has a lot of red flags for ADHD (and no... one NEVER displays all symptoms in every area of their lives... because we also HYPERfocus on things that are interesting to us, as well as the HYPOfocus / the distraction & or appearance of laziness on things that are not interesting. Boredom is the kiss of death for ADHD, whether it's boredom from not understanding or from knowing it by rote. From middle school onward I had an "Air Force" report card. A's & F's. A's in my interesting classes, F's in my boring classes).

Check out the following:
"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!?"
http://www.amazon.com/You-Mean-Lazy-Stupid-Crazy/dp/07432...
&
www.additudemag.com