My 11 Mo. Old Will Not Sleep!!!

Hi S.,
I know I'm late on this one, but I just had to respond. I read a blog where they often talk about the 9month sleep regression:
http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html

I just wanted to pass it on. It's not you--you're not doing anything wrong. But this might help give you some sanity until it passes. Good luck!
S.

Is she going to bed early enough? Maybe she has become overtired. Kids tend to fight sleep when they are overtired. Sounds like she may not be getting enough sleep. Many kids of that age are still on two naps until around 18 months.

When my kids were babies we read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It talks about how to create a good sleep schedule and the amount of sleep a child needs at different ages. We found it really helpful and have no sleep issues with our kids ages 5 and 2 1/2. I would definitley recommend reading it!

teething?? its possible. molars are sometimes the worst...

otherwise, just be patient. understand that as they grow, they will always take 2 steps forward and one step back. how you respond to the step back determines how she takes the next 2 steps forward. just be understanding, responsive and loving, following your instincts, and you will see her come out of this phase shortly. if you dont respond in a loving, emotionally supportive way... she might not get over it, or she will have problems going forward.

that might be confusing.. but just trust yourself, do what gets you the most sleep, and realize that babies dont sleep the way we expect them to.

my son wouldnt sleep through the night until 16-17 months old. seemed like it was taking forever when we were in it, and now, looking back, i miss those times at night to cuddle, and i certainly dont regret cuddling and cosleeping until he got through it. :D
you wont regret snuggling, sleeping together, and loving your baby with all your heart. you will regret NOT doing these things, or at least miss them. :D

Your not doing anything wrong! they just go through phases and this one too shall pass, just pray the next phase is better rather then worst then this one.

Could she be teething? My daughter did the same thing in spurts. She would sleep good at night and then all of a sudden she wanted to be held all the time and didn't want to sleep, let alone sleep through the night. She has never been a great napper so I don't have any suggestions about that. Maybe try Motrin before she goes down for the night if you think she is teething. Good luck.
J.

I would purchase a sleep book. We use Good Night, Sleep Tight the gentle no cry solution by Kim West. It will help you get her on a sleep schedule and help her to learn to put herself back to sleep. The book goes all the way up to 5 yrs of age so it is really helpful. And it doesn't take more than an hour to read what you need to know to start.

You say that "she will wake up as soon as she is in her crib". So, is she asleep when you lay her down? If so, that may be the culprit. Babies need to be awake when they are laid down. Moving often wakes them up, obviously. But often, they will stay asleep for a little while, and then when they stretch or move, they realize they are not where they fell asleep, and will become quite alarmed.

Is she teething?

How do you feel about the Ferber Method? In a nutshell, you let her cry for 10 minutes, go in and soothe her (but don't pick her up), and then let her cry for 15 minutes. Basically, you keep stretching out the time between going in.

Does she have a good bedtime routine--a book, a song, a prayer?

Lastly, is she overtired? If not, she may be getting all the sleep she needs, at least for right now.

I am sure at 11 months old your child has NO behavioral issues, but this book: Sleepless in America my Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has great information on how to instill good sleeping habits, and turn around bad sleeping patterns.

This baby obviously wants you nearby and is smart too! Have you thought about a side car or the family bed? There is a great book called Three in a Bed. We have had great success with both our kids and the family bed. I would never let my baby cry, it is their only way of telling you they need you, and this time with them is fleeting. Ask Dr Sears Web Site is wonderful and has never failed me. He has done extensive research on sleep and it is helpful. The book I read of his was Night Time Parenting.

My kids never slept through the night when they were small and my 4 year old still doesn't always sleep through the night. We often find her between us before morning and you know something, I love it. Soon she will not be there and more independent soon enough.

Enjoy this time, you only get your children for a short time...

Good luck and read up on Dr Sears!
J.

My daughter was never a good sleeper until 7 months when I was fed up with getting up 4 rimes a night, and never getting more than a 30 minute nap! We Bought the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth...you may be able to find it or interli9brary loan it from your local public library, too. It was a lifesaver!

First thing it says that our modern lifestyles and electric lights go against the baby's natural biological clocks, we keep them up much later than we should, to see them after work, or play, etc. when they really need to go to bed at the time it gets dark out. My daughter was going to bed around 8 pm at first, at 6-7 months, I moved it back by 1/2 hour a week, and even now, at 22 months, her bedtime is between 6:30 and 7:00 and she sleeps till after 7:30 am!!! That first two months, she was still nursing, and would sleep 6:30-12:30, nurse, and then sleep form 1:00-7:00!!! It was like heaven!

We also realized that she didn't like to sleep in her room, especially during the day, it was too bright...we got denim curtains, and turned on in a circular floor fan - or in winter a humidifier, and always play a lullaby CD on repeat for her...with the curtains taking out the light, and the fan and music blocking out outside sounds, it helped tremendously!!!

Warning, we did do the "Cry It Out" method - extinction, not gradual extinction (he talks about both in the book)....we did our routine, put her down in her bed, said we loved her and closed the door and left the room. It WAS HARD! The first night she cried for 45 minutes straight! Second night was only 20 min. third night maybe 10 min, and 4th night, she only hollered just as I closed the door. That was it, ever since she has been great in her bed, night and morning and naps!

Naps improved after night sleeping improved...better sleep breeds better sleep! When she was first doing this, she would wake at 7 and we would eat breakfast right away, and then play a little while, and within one to one and a half hours, she was back down for her first nap...usually an hour or more long....then up for a few hours of eating and playing, then an afternoon nap of an hour+. At about 18 months we went to one nap in the morning, and an awake but quiet playtime in her crib in the afternoon, now at 22 months, we are loser to one just one nap of about 2 hours around lunchtime, most days.

Now she does also have pacifiers and a lovey - her giraffe, Jeffery...without those two sleep doesn't go well....we tried to take away the binkies at 12 months, and againlast week - no dice....oh well - we will try again around 3 yrs old.

Good Luck!

Jessie

Hi S.,

You've gotten some good advice. In my many years of giving children naps you have to be consistent and follow through. After making sure she is dry and not hungry put her in her bed and leave. She definitely will not be happy, but it won't last long. Within a week you will be asking yourself why you didn't do it sooner. Life can be so much nicer if you follow through and not give in. It will be hard, but soooo worth it. You will find that you are happier and so is your baby.

At 11 months old she should still be taking a 1 to 1 1/2 hour nap in the morning and at least a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. I've found that I usually lay them down for a nap in the morning approximately 2 to 2 1/2 hours after they get up, so if Vivianna is getting up at 6:30 am, lay her back down for a morning nap around 8:30 to 9:00 am. Then all of my children lay down for an afternoon nap at 1 pm and sleep at least until 3 pm. I have children in the summer who are 7 & 8 years old that still take naps for me, so you are never too old for a nap. Adults are proof of that fact.

Good Luck!

C.

Kids are hard to get to sleep when they get over tired. Try putting her to bed earlier to see if that helps. If mine were up at 6:30 they'd be in bed by 8 pm at the latest. Mine go to bed at 9 pm every night and wake up about 8 am. They do not get naps, but they are 3 and 4 years old. I stopped the naps all together by the time they were 2.