Mothers of Daughters - Pros/cons of Being Oldest/youngest in Class

I was one of the youngest in my grade. I had excellent grades (valedictorian), had many friends, and played in three varsity level sports. Through my entire academic career, there was only one time that I even noticed a difference in the ages or thought about it - that was when everyone was getting their licenses and a lot of classmates had theirs almost a year before I did. Definitely no reason to hold a child back though.

I think it depends on the actual child and their previous school experience.

Our daughter was one of the youngest kids all the way through high school.
her birthday is in July.

But... She is an only child. She had been in daycare since she was 1.
They had prepped them for kinder.. but not an official Pre K.

She had taught herself to read. She had an advanced vocabulary. She had a long attention span. She was ready.. There was no doubt..

Th only thing she could not do, was tie her shoes.. But a few months into kinder, one of her classmates taught her how to tie them! Her fine motor skills were weak, so we worked on that.. funny thing she now has a degree in art.. with sculpture!

She was always an excellent student. Always one of the most mature. The teachers always told us they wished their classes were all filled with students like her. Ready and wanting to learn..

She was so ready to go to college by mid year her senior year.. She blossomed and flew through college.. no problems.

I struggled with this for years and always think in the back of my mind if I did the right thing. But my child is just going to turn 9 in aug prior to 4th grade. She got all A's in a private school these last 3 years. She is social, strong, but in some ways a little more immature then older girls...but really I don't see a difference. May hit us harder in the 6th and up, but so far so good. She is 3rd youngest out of the 70 4th graders at our school

The cutoff where I live is Sept. 1st. My daughter was born August 2nd and my son on August 31st. They both fall into the youngest category. Both went to an amazing daycare and stayed there for kindergarten. I never considered holding them back because they were both reading, writing and doing math way above what was expected in 1st grade. I agree with the others about driving, and also turning 21, but after that I keep telling them they will be glad they are the youngest!

Our cut off is Sept 1st and my daughter’s birthday is Aug 24th. She started K last summer right before her 5th birthday (they start in August here) and is the youngest in her class. She has done so well this year (never went to daycare or pre-K) and I am so proud of her.

All kids are different, if your child is ready to start then send her, if not wait until next year. There will always be a time when age comes up but that’s just life we all get through it.

It depends on the child. Girls generally do better than boys. I was the youngest in my class. I was always toward the top academically. I had issues with bouncing balls and gross motor skills. It was torture when all my friends had a drivers license and I hadn't even taken driver's Ed. My daughter is sept 15 and was not allowed to go. She just finished kinder and qualified for gifted and talented. She could have easily been in my first grade class and been at the top. It is a good thing she's a good kid at school because she isn't challenged. Some kids act out and misbehave in those instances. My dd is also tiny though so she's in the best place for her size. At the end of the day, or her childhood rather, we will have her in our home for an extra year. That makes her daddy and myself pleased.

My daughter is one of the youngest in her grade (she's in 7th grade now). She wasn't quite 5 when she started kindergarten and I could have waited until she was 6 to start, but I started her earlier because I believed she was ready to start K. She has always done just fine - as a matter of fact, she's in honors Language Arts & Math and doing well. Socially, she's fine.

I'm glad I started her on the earlier side because as luck would have it, she developed/matured VERY early as I did. Had I waited that extra year, she would have been the only girl in like 4th grade with boobs. lol. You have to know your child and their maturity level. I think that's the best way to make a decision.

My daughter is one of the oldest in her 2nd grade class. She is one of the brightest, well-rounded, and mature(within reason here she's 8 years old!)little girls. Her second grade teacher specifically told her she is one of the brightest in the class and has the grades of course to prove it. I was concerned about her being one of the oldest but it turns out that no one notices. She is not a big girl size-wise but isn't tiny either. I don't see any advantages for her other than perhaps she is who she is and I don't think her age and being one of the oldest has lent much to that. Although, heck who knows, I could be wrong. :)

Why rush them....I wish my daughter could do K again!
My daughter is a September birthday and youngest in her class. If I did it again I'd hold her back. She tested out to be advanced in all subjects, and is in the advanced reading group and has friends in her class BUT the first part of the year was a real struggle because she is shy. She tends to be more shy with older kids and more of a leader with younger kids. Also, I think so many people are holding back kids that have even summer birthdays that some kids are a year and a half older then her and are writing paragraphs in K where even though she tests advanced for K shes writing sentences. Not much of a diference now but I see it being trouble when she;s competing against those kids in later grades.
Also in my district most parents are wealthy and one parent is a SAHM...some have both parents home because theyre trust fund kids...so they have the advantage of parents working with them more hours and also tutoring and so on
i still want to hold her back but the teacher says academically she has no leg to stand on to recomend that

Growing up, I was on the edge of the cutoff but an early reader and writer so I started out as the youngest in the class. I didn't really experience any issues, though I always fibbed about being older than I was :) Everything changed around 6th grade when everyone started puberty and I still looked and acted like a little girl. Middle school was miserable (as it is for many kids). After 8th grade, my parents sent me to study abroad for a year (amazing experience, btw!) and although all my credits transferred, they decided to hold me back a year so I went in as a freshman in HS the oldest of my class. I loved it! I was the first to drive and that made a difference :) I don't think there is a wrong answer - if your daughter is ready for school, put her in. Just know there could be issues around middle school. Then again, I may not have done a gap year if I had been the oldest so I see the value in that as well! Good luck :)

I know you asked about girls specifically, but I'll give you both ends of the spectrum.

Our son's birthday is August 29th. The cut off was August 31st. We started him, so technically he was only 4 for the first couple of weeks in kindergarten. I've posted this before when this question has come up, because the ONLY time it was an issue was in HS when all the buds were driving, sometimes an entire year before he was! He did fine in school and sports and had (still has) a ton of friends.

Our daughter's birthday is October 1st. There are 4 years between the kids, but 5 years in school because she missed the cut off and had to wait another year. She wanted 'homework' too when her brother started coming home with spelling words, etc. So we would find things for her to do and we had her in a pretty progressive pre-school. I remember calling the district we lived in at the time if she could take some kind of assessment test to go ahead and start her in kindergarten the year she turned 5 and was told NO! She wasn't 5 by the cut off, period, end of discussion. So she was more than prepared an entire year later, and has continued to stay on top of things at school.
*Sorry, if you allow me this moment of digression. . . Proud Mom declaration coming up. She just finished her junior year in a private, college prep school. With the exception of a B in Physics, she had all A's! She had English and American History, Honors Business Finance and Calculus, Advanced Spanish Topics and French 2.

Now, her personality has always been kinda focused and driven. So I can't she did so well, because she's the oldest in her class. LIke I said, this is a different school environment, so most kids are pretty focused.

Socially. . . again, she has done fine.

My feeling, and from my experience, kids will be just fine.

My oldest is one of the very youngest in her class. Aside from not really "catching" on to reading until the first grade year, while some of her K peers read with ease, she excelled academically until 7th grade. However, in spring of 4th grade, I noticed she started to fall behind her peers socially. She was less mature, more of little kid, than a tween trying to grow up. Groups of girls were very difficult for her now, whereas in her younger years she always thrived, was always in the center of the action. Still 4-6th grades she was at the top of her class in grades. But in 7th, school has become more difficult. She is intelligent, is capable, but again, struggles with maturity issues, focus, organization, time management. I often think what if I held her back before K, would it be better? I'm not sure, it is just this year we realized some mild tendencies now seem to be significant ADHD issues. That seems to hinder her more than being young. But another year of age and maturity sure wouldn't have hurt.

My youngest is right in the middle of her class in age, and she seems to have a much easier time socially. There is girl drama all around her now, but she is well-liked, and stays out of her friends' fights pretty easily. Academics for her are very good so far too. She is in 4th grade now.

My daughter (now a sophmore) is one of the youngest in her class. She excels in her classes. She finds many of her classmates to be immature and with the exception of her best friend, prefers spending time with her friends that are seniors and in college.

When it came time to read, she had difficulty because she wasn't quite ready. She also had some kids in her class that were almost a full 2 years older. She quickly overcame that hurdle and by 3rd grade was one of the top readers.

She has an older sister so I tend to beleive that's what made her grow up and mature a little faster than I would have liked. Of course, some of it is due to being around kids a little older.

I'm not thrilled about sending her off to college at age 17. However, I know she's mature enough to handle it.

Kids should be 5 years old when they start kindergarten in my opinion, that was they are 17 when they enter their senior year of high school and turn 18. Then they are of legal age with they go off to start college that Fall.

BUT! If the cut off date is later in the school year and the kids starting kindergarten are 4 but have birthdays coming soon then a child should start with their peers.

There is no logical reason to not allow a child to be with kids their own age just "because, their birthday is a couple of weeks different".

It's kindergarten, not college. They will have a blast if they are with kids their own age. If they are 5 and the rest of the class is 5 they will be on the same sports teams, they'll be on the same age the next year and the next.

So, if the school system allows a 4 year old to enter kindergarten then your child should enter kindergarten when they are the same age as the rest of the class.

How would you feel if 7/8 of the kindergarten class your child is eligible for is made up of kids that should have started kindergarten last year but mom and dad decided to start them late. Your 4-5 year old child will be in class with over 80% of a kindergarten class of kids that are already 5 or maybe even 6. That does not seem fair to your child to be in a class of huge kids, nor is it fair for the older kids who are mentally ready to be going in 1st grade.

So I firmly believe if a child is smart enough to go to kindergarten and they meet the eligibility criteria they should go with the kids their own age.

If the school has a cut off date that says they can be 4 when they start then they should start with the other kids their own age.

If the school says they must be 5 before they start they should start as soon as they are eligible to go.

Both of my girls started a year early (they needed it and are thriving and excelling every year) so they are the youngest in their class by far. The only disadvantage i forsee in the future is they will be the last to start driving, dating, periods, etc. I would not push a child to start early if it wasnt needed by any means. Now being the youngest because they just made the cut off- well someone has to be and most likely the other kids will be close enough that there will not be much of a difference. My girls both fit in quiet well with their classmates and age only comes up at birthday party times (they are also extremely tall for their age and have always been advanced in just about everything including socially)....then everyone is a bit confused because they are only turning the age everyone else is leaving ;) I think it would be even harder on a boy if he were this much younger than his classmates because the changes in boys although later seem to be more easily noticed and instant! For example my son is 13, almost over night his hormones kicked in and without any additional effort on his part muscle definition was apparent. He went from looking like a typical boy to wow look at those guns (biceps) overnight! He is dead middle age of his class with friends older and younger than him. I don't see many differences or pros/cons of him and the girls! Sports and things can be a problem because for awhile they are placed on teams and in leagues by their age which doesn't correspond with classmates. So my girls have at times been on teams with kids a grade below them- which is annoying to them- but sometimes they love it because that means they are the best. My girls will be 17 when they graduate and will be in their 2nd term in college before turning 18. This is something we thought about long and hard but knew that if we kept them in preschool until they were "old enough" for kindergarten that we were making a mistake. Many high school children go take college classes now during thier junior and senior year anyway so I don't see much difference there anyway. We probably cant afford to ship them off to a school far from home and have them pay room and board anyway so worrying about sending them off into the world at 17 isn't too much of a concern. However 18 doesn't magically make children into adults- you are either mature and responsible or you are not. If you are immature at 17 your 18th birthday will not change that. So again not really a concern! 1 of my sister in laws is only 16 and she is far more responsible and mature than my own 18 year old sister or my 19 year old brother in law. I would trust the 16 year old to watch my children and even drive them around much more than the 18 year old. Each child is different and each child will deal with age and all issues differently as well. There are probably pros and cons both ways but i can't see that making a list based on just age alone will help you much!

My niece, with an end of June birthday started school on time. She was extremely bright but socially immature. Mastered all content but struggled socially. My sister decided to hold her back a year and repeat kindergarten. Best thing she could do. She's now in college and doing extremely well. Being one of the oldest in her grade didn't hurt her and in fact, in her case was probably a good thing.

My girls, have summer birthdays and I struggled about whether to start them on time. Both did after I got confirmation from their preschool teachers that they were indeed ready for school. My oldest is finishing sixth grade today. She's top of her class academically. However, she's physically tiny and years behind her classmantes in development. Thankfully, she's a gymnast and it's actually an advantage but I do see that it could be a problem if she didn't have such a strong self image.

Bottom line, it really depends on whether the child is ready, educationally, emotionally and socially.

My daughter, who just finished kindergarten, has a November birthday. Her best friend from kindergarten also has a November birthday. They are both more mature than most of the other kids and are above average with their reading. They get along well with pretty much everyone in their class.

One of their classmates turned five just days after school started. My daughter is always telling stories about how this girl is pushy and rude. Obviously, she is just a little less mature than the rest of the class. She also doesn't seem to have any friends. I have no doubt that she is unaware of the "mean girling" that is already going on around her.

I think being one of the older kids in the class is a big advantage to my daughter -- especially since she is very timid and shy. Out here in Naperville, parents tend to "red shirt" their children. I would say that about half of the kindergarteners turned six before Christmas.

This coming school year, our school district is incorporating the Common Core Standards for education, and the material the kids will be expected to learn in kindergarten is a little intimidating to me. For this reason, I will be holding back my son, who has a July birthday, until he turns six.

My girls are both young for their grade level. My older one, Tara, is a June birthday and my younger one, Elise, turned 5 on the first day of Kindergarten. Both my girls are SMALL, below 25th %tile for height. Tara is now about to enter 8th grade. She is going to be in 10th grade math, has gotten straight A's every year, is in accelerated language arts. She has MANY friends, has always fit right in and her teachers from kindergarten on have told us she is the perfect student. In Kindergarten to third grade there were twin boys in her class that had the same exact birthday (they are an hour older then my daughter, lol). By the end of third grade it was obvious that school was hard for them. Not socially even though they were the same height as my small Tara, but academically it was hard. So they repeated 3rd grade and are doing great now.
Elise is going into 5th grade. She has not gotten quite as good grades, but she is socially and emotionally just fine grade level wise. Never have we heard that she is a problem and most teachers don't realize she is the youngest in the group. There was a boy in her kindergarten class who had NEVER been away from his Mom, I mean even slept with her. He had to leave kindergarten after a month cause he just was not able to handle the separation.
SO, that is my experience, no disadvantages at all. I can not imagine either of them having been a year behind, they would have been so bored and it would have been holding them back academically for no reason in my mind. The ONLY negative is their size, but honestly the year wouldn't matter, Elise is the size of a 2nd grader, Tara the size of a 4th or 5th grader, so one year back wouldn't matter.
One thing I never imagined being an issue is Tara's advancement. She wants to go to Illinois Math and Science Academy. If she entered after next school year (if our school offered advanced science she could) then she would skip a grade and finish high school a week before she turns 17. Going off to college at 17, graduating college before she even turns 21 - THAT was a scary thought.

As far as "having her around" for another year, maybe it's because I run a home daycare and my kids were always with me all day, having them around me another year was not a factor at all. I had a hard time with not knowing what was going on in the 3 hours she was at school, but it was not a bad thing at all. I would NEVER hold my child back because of MY needs/wants.

In IL the ONLY way to skip kindergarten and go right into 1st grade is to meet the age requirements for kindergarten. Almost all places in this state have that being 5 by Sept 1st of the year before. The only way to get ahead if you miss the cut off is by attending an ACCREDITED kindergarten. If you attend and pass an accredited kindergarten program then the school must let you be in 1st the next year regardless of age. There are a few daycares that have this, but almost all of them follow the school district age restrictions.