Mother Needs Some Advice on Potty Training PLEASE HELP

Updated on March 01, 2010
R.L. asks from Pineville, KY
21 answers

My son will be 3 yrs old in Dec., and I cant get him to go to the potty I have tryed spankings, sitting him there, rewards, and almost everything else that I have thought of. I have been trying to potty train him for atleast 8 months now and I have had no luck at all I need help Pull ups are expensive......

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S.

answers from Atlanta on

My son was also over 3 before he "got it" (vs. my daughter who was potty trained by 2). My son screamed and cried and the mere mention of the potty. NOTHING WORKED!

One day he said "You know, Mom, there really isn't anything to be scared of when you go potty". He has been completely potty trained ever since. I don’t believe there was anything I could have done to make him "go" any sooner.

I know that’s not what you want to hear :(

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A.E.

answers from Memphis on

My first born was 3 1/2 before he "got it" - resisting all the way. Let him wear underwear and prepare to do a lot of laundry.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I dunno if anyone has already offered this but I had ALOT of trouble trying to get my son to go also and I bought him a big boy potty with his fav character that fits on our seat and he loves to go.

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B.V.

answers from Savannah on

One thing that worked for mine, was to just put regular 'big' kid underwear/panties on them and taking them to potty every 1 to 2 hours and practice. Give encourgement tell him what a big boy he is. I know this may sound silly, but I heard of putting in a few cheerio's cereal in the toilet and have the boys aim, like a game. I know it's frustrating. If he does pee, then make a big deal about it, how great and wonderful. good luck.

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S.

answers from Chattanooga on

R.,
I had to give up completely for about two months and then try again for my now 3 1/2 year old son. He is now wearing underwear except at night and we use a sticker chart. Everytime he goes in the potty he gets to pick out a sticker and put it on his chart. The rest I think helped him and I both.
Hope this helps,
S. E.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Try backing off a bit... potty training can be like eating... something they know they can control and it can become a power struggle very easily. He just might not be ready. I had little luck with my kids until I tossed the pull-ups. Once they'd had a few accidents with their underwear on, they did very well.

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S.S.

answers from Memphis on

Hi,
my son just turned 2 and he is 100% potty trained! He doesnt even wet the bed at night time...I tried everything as well and I know pull ups do get expensive, but this worked for me! There is a new line of pull ups, that have a cold sensor in them...when they wet theirself, its like an ice packet and turns cold...suppose to ,make them not like the cold sensation since their not use to it and teaches them "hey I better go potty" they actually worked for me..My son was trying to potty train and doing well but still had accidents..One day we were in the car and he says mommy I have to pee pee...Of course, we were on the interstate and wasnt near an exit..I just replied ok baby hold it for one minute til mommy can pull over...knowing good and well hes 2 and cant hold it...So he did pee and it set the ice packet off and he started crying! He did not like that cold feeling at all, I believe it actually scared him! But since that day, I promise you he has not peed on himself! So now we are in underwear 24/7!

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S.F.

answers from Nashville on

I know this will sound awfull but , I had the same problem with my son he was almost 4 before somebody told me to do this..I only put pullups on in when i went somewhere or at bedtime other than that i put big boy underwear on him ( with his favorite character) and let him go all day with this on and ask him repeteadly if he needed to go and if he had and accident i told him he only had 2 more pairs left,, there was time where he would go without underwear just to prove to him there where no more he didnt like that i dea and he had to prove to me he would go to the bathroom,, he would go pee in the bathroom just to wear the underwear and not be naked without anything after a week or two of this he got the hang of it,,, but the going nukmber two in the potty took a bit longer ( I ended up washing alot of underwear) but it was worth it,,, I had a friend tell me she used to put the potty in front of the tv just to get him to sit there till he did something , I didnt get a chance to try that it was going to be my last result... but i hope this helps alittle.. ( they dont like being naked after wearing big boy underwear.

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D.

answers from Nashville on

Your son is using pull ups as a crutch. Try letting him go for a while without the pull ups. Time it when he drinks to the time he urinates. It takes about 1-2 hours. This may be a little messy and time consuming so try it a couple of days when you don't have to work.

D.

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M.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello, I don't have boys, I have girls. The first thing my doctor told me was DO NOT USE PULL UPS. Put them in underware during the day, and a diaper at night till he get its. My oldest was a week away from being 3 before she was ready. Now tme youngest started telling me the other day "I gotta potty", she will be 3 in April. We brought her panties yesterday, and all day today she has been dry and telling me. GOOD LUCK

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C.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi there im a Nanny and have potty trained many Children, each child will learn to potty in their own time. I think forcing the issue only causes undue stress for you and your child. Have you tried the rewards sytstem? Like giving him a "treat" or a small gift when he goes potty? I have used this system many times, and it works great !!!
After the child starts going potty on a regular basis, then you expand the rewards to acomplishments like an ALL DAY acomplishment and then 3 days and then you are pretty much done !!!
Always always give praise after each good acomplishment, never use spankings because they will feel like , they have done something "Bad" The negitive feeling gets them frustrated and makes them have a no care attitude. I hope this advice helps you out a bit, it does take time, but hang in there it does get better :)

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T.J.

answers from Nashville on

I use to think potty training was easy....well it was with my 2 oldest boys...then I had my girl...to be honest she was not fully potty trained until she went to kindergarden this year...I was worried about her but I just had to say she will either get it or get teased until she gets it...I am sure that sounds kinda harsh but she has a younger brother and sister that are both potty trained...they were easy though they woke up one day and told me they had to go to the bathroom and I showed them where it was and that was it....but my 3 child was extremely hard and i tried everything in the book...so take a deep breath and one day out of the blue it will just happen. Good Luck I know its easier said then done!

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E.S.

answers from Augusta on

Hi i just registered here, and this is first place i looked(pooty training)! my son just turned 3 september 15 and i am also running out of ways to help him use the potty. i also have all the added pressure from everyone and there mother telling me something is wrong with him because he cant do this and he cant use potty or talk ! so frustrating. i too have spanked out of pure anxiety from it. and it really doesnt help , it only makes them even more SURE they dont want to use the potty, hes sees this as i get on potty , ill get spanked and so it wont ever work this way! i have tried sticker charts, candy, toys, everything. and i still cant get him on the potty AT ALL anymore. he screams, starts shaking, sweating. i believe he is now terrified of the potty , of course im sure its myfault, but now all i can do is ask him does he want to use the potty and he runs away screaming. so really dont make the mistake i made, let him tell you hes ready!i truly hope he uses it soon. diapers and pullups and wipes are so expensive! GOOD LUCK!

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L.L.

answers from Saginaw on

To tell the truth, my son was just like yours, he would do okay on days and other days, he wouldn't stay dry. My son was in his first year of preschool, they worked with me and one day he came home in a pair of underpants and has been in them ever since, and only one accident and he was very sick when it happened. But he just turned 4 and I was working with him for a year and an half. In one day he just realized he was ready to be out of pull-ups. So patience is all I can say, he will come around.

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R.

answers from Nashville on

Don't feel bad. My oldest son was 3 and a half before he got it down. I have a 2 year old that I am trying to potty train and I have tried rewards and nothing seemed to work until I just let him run around the house with no bottoms on. He goes all on his own. I know that is sounds crazy, but it really works. I have been doing this for about a month now and he has only had 1 accident. Of course when he naps and goes night night I put a pull up on him. I do still reward him with stickers when he goes. Hope this helps and good luck!

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M.L.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi R...

Don't worry he will get it, He won't want to wear pull ups for ever.. I have two boys 5yr old and a 4yr old, I started potty training them the day they started walking no joke. This is what I did and you could try it with him.. Both of my boys was fully trained on there 2nd birthday, My oldest was better then my youngest (all children are diffrent, RIGHT?). All I did was every time I went to the potty they went with me. I sat them down next to me on there little potty, and talked to them telling them how much better it was to go peepee in the potty. After I did that a few times I let them watch daddy go potty, they liked the idea of standing up to go potty, To help them like it more I put some Cheerio's in the potty so they could aim at them, every time they went potty poopoo or peepee we came out singing a song that I made up and telling them how proud I was. I acted really silly and made a party out of it dancing,singing,claping jumping up and down around the house.. It was fun, thats what you have to do make it fun for them. Good luck with it.. I am looking forward to read how things are going once you had a little time to work with him more..

Ps.. while doing all of this I did put them in big boy underwear and I did the stickers.
M.

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L.L.

answers from Nashville on

I am not opposed to spanking but in this case it's not going to help because he is not doing anything wrong. He's just not ready. Some kids are slower than others when it comes to going potty. My son was 3 before he was ready. Best suggestion I can give you is to put an ice cube in the potty and tell him that if he pees on it, it will melt. He might find that cool and try it. What worked for me was that he wanted to go to Tae Kwon Do and the Master would not let him come in pull ups. My son was trained in 2 weeks because he really, really wanted to go to TKD. Only other thing that worked for me was letting him pee on a tree but it was summer time and I had told him that if he peed in the pool he would not be allowed back in it for a week so if he had to go he would have to pee on a tree.

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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

usually boys are ready at about 3. but pull-ups held my son back. go straight to underwear and you'll have a mess for a little, but he should get it soon. pull ups are confusing for kids. just like a diaper to them but easier for us (but not in the long run).

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L.O.

answers from Nashville on

R.,

I have 3 wonderful girls Megan 19 Jenna 6 and Olivia 10 months. I was also a nanny for 15 yrs and potty trained alot. My girls were 20 months and completly trained no accidents. Some of the children I watched took more time. You have to pick a time when you can stay in all day and do nothing but train all day long. Put him on every 15 minutes until he goes and go wild when he does and start all over. Make sure you stay consistant from that day on. Make sure all sitters do the same once you take him out of diapers or pullups keep them off him use a cover under him at night no pullups. Laundry will add up but it should last about aweek or so then he should have the hang of it No drinks about an hour before bedtime and straight to the bathroom in mornings. Tell him when he stays dry for 3 or so days he can go pick out something small or what ever you feel is right. Candy rewards can add up to alot of dentist visits Good Luck

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

Good Morning,
I went throught the same thing, my son (now 5) had no interest in it what so ever. The best thing I can say is don't pressure him, he will go when he is ready. And don't feed into the pressure that because he's 3 he should be using the toilet, kids are different. He will go in his own timing. I wouldn't recommend spanking him though. My son still using pull ups at night but he is now using the toilet on his own within the past 5-6 months. He just woke up one day and did it. No pressure involved.
Good Luck

J.B.

answers from Memphis on

I was always taught that little boys were not ready until they turned three, generally speaking. So...I waited until just before and had a frustrating experience as you are. A friend at church commonly said to me, "Put the potty chair away for six months, and try again...if it starts all over...put it away another six month. When he is ready...he'll learn in a week." She was SO right. All three of mine "learned" in a week!

That principle applies with a lot of things: you can teach a toddler to tie their shoes in six months - or wait until they are five and teach them in five minutes.

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