Major Sleep Problems with 15 Month Old - Looking for help....any Help.

You are doing him a real disservice at this age by nursing him all night long. You have given him this awful habit - and it IS awful! (Not the breastmilk, mind you.) He can't stay asleep because you have programmed him to wake up all night long. You can't stand the crying, so you perpetuate nursing him all night so he can't get any sleep.

He is so miserable.

Until you are able to take yourself out of this and stop thinking only about how you can't stand to let let him cry, he will continue to hold you and your husband hostage. He'll continue to be miserable, and none of you will get any sleep.

I NEVER recommend co-sleeping because so many women come on here begging for advice on how to get their kids out of their beds. Their husbands are miserable, they aren't having sex, the kids kick them all night, etc. However, you might as well bring him into your bed if you aren't going to take the bull by the horns and stop feeding him all night and walking him and getting up with him all night long.

Dawn

I have to agree with Dawn. I wouldn't recommend co-sleeping unless you are ready to have him in your bed for potentially years to come (and you'll be back asking us how to get him out of your bed when he's 3). He doesn't need to nurse at night, he should be getting plenty of food during the day. I have a 15 mo old too, he nurses morning and night and then eats 3 meals and a snack during the day. He hasn't nursed at night since he was about 4 months old (he's always been a big baby, so he definitely didn't need it). At this age, nursing is for comfort and not the primary source of food. That's why he wants it. It has comforted him through the night his whole little life and unless YOU change it, no one is going to be happy. I understand not wanting to do CIO, but I don't see a way to get him off the breast and self-soothing in his bed without some sort of crying. He's not going to be happy that his schedule is changing, but it sounds like you both need it to. Stop nursing at night. Cuddle or rock for a short time, but don't keep on nursing or you'll never be able to stop. Maybe let dad take a bigger role in the midnight on wakings. Have you ever let him cry for a bit and see what happens or do you go right in? My son wakes rarely and will cry literally 1-2 minutes and then he's back to sleep. Seems like you've tried everything else. Have you asked your ped or nurse?

As you sadly found rocking and nursing don't teach a baby self-soothing techniques. I'll bet he's tired during the day, he more than likely isn't getting adequate REM deep sleep at night.

It sounds like you have several issues working at once, but the first to tackle is his being able to sleep through the night. Read this article, I read it earlier tonight, and hopefully it will give you ideas to use. I don't say "try" because you have to commit to something and not stop, just tweak, until you get the desired results. At 15 months there's no need to nurse him throughout the night, particularly if you are planning on weaning. The plan presented in the article should help with the sleep problem, if you stick to it, nothing works if you don't.
http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/issues/advice/?page=1

Stop with the baby food and just feed him real cut up food at this age, he should have the finger dexterity to pick it up and get it to his mouth, and the jaw strength to gnaw, chew and swallow. After a year his main nutrition should be coming from solids, not breast feeding (and I nursed my eldest until he was three so I'm not anti-breast feeding.)

Give him Motrin at the first sign of teething discomfort, the longer you wait the longer it takes to go to work because the pain has set in. Make him some frozen fruit pops (fruit in the blender with some water, juice or yogurt and poured into Dixie cups with one of his spoons in it for him to hold onto it) and offer him one when his gums are hurting to cool them and ease his pain.

Darken his room so he has a dark place for naps and sleeping through the night. If you haven't structure a bedtime routine with bath, a story, nursing, and keep the lights low and talk in a whisper to relax him. And when you know all his needs have been met allow him to cry, he continues because he knows you will come, so send Dad to do his thing. It's good that he doesn't pick him up, that's what's keeping him from sleeping, being picked up. When you go in there, leave the light off, don't speak, say "shhhhh" pat his back and don't pick him up. You're not doing him a disservice by allowing him to cry, crying IS his way of telling you something, right now it's that he won't stop crying until you come and pick him up, not that he's in dire straights. Continue to do so and he will learn, if he hasn't already, that he'll get what he wants by crying :-/

And, co-sleeping now when you haven't done it before is asking for problems for years, you'd be trading one problem for another major one down the road. Read the article and stick to your plan, and wear earphones and listen to loud music. Oh, and if you even think he's going to try and climb out of the crib childproof his room and put his mattress on the floor before he falls out and breaks a limb or worse.

I co-slept with my kids. I thought it was a great solution. I got the sleep I needed and they got the comforting they needed. (My babies were nursed too)

Honestly... grow a back bone. There's no longer a need for nighttime nursing. And we all hate to listen to our babies cry, but he needs to learn how to get himself to sleep. This will help him stay asleep as well. My husband and daughters all have ezcema and it doesn't interfere with their sleep. Why is he having issues? Is it dry in your house? Make sure he's comfortable. Otherwise, I think you need to help him figure this out on his own. Get a night light, nice blankey, lovey, and maybe set up a fan or noise machine. Has he always slept in a crib? Maybe he doesn't like it. Allowing a 15 month old to CIO is not cruel. And if you take steps to encourage his independence with this you may not have to do it.

ETA: I have a 19 month old who has been sleeping in her own room just fine for 3 months. She's been sleeping on a mattress on the floor since a year old. Before that she co-slept most of the time. She also breastfed too. I never did night time feedings passed maybe 6 months of age. She also has a pillow, 2 blankets, a night light next to her bed, and a favorite stuffed animal that she sleeps with. She shares a room with her younger sister and still sleeps all night (10-12hours) without any problems. You can fix this. You just need to put your foot down.

I'm sorry-you must be so tired! I haven't been in your exact position (we did have struggles, but only up until 11 mo), but I'm wondering if your husband could take a couple days off from work and try being the only one who goes in during the night for several nights, and see if that helps? That way somebody is going in to soothe him (you'll probably still have to listen to him cry, but he won't be alone) but he's not nursing. Maybe if it's "just" dad, getting up will lose its appeal? Another thing we tried was a bottle or cup of water during the night, again hoping that getting up would be less appealing. One other thing I'm wondering about is what he's eating during the day. At 15 mo he should be able to eat most table foods, cut up for him. Maybe if you add in more of those types of foods (which have more calories than baby food) he will be less hungry during the night?
Good luck!

What else is he getting to eat? It sounds like he might be hungry? Maybe weaning him off nursing could help (probably not in the short-run) but make sure he's getting enough to eat...perhaps a hearty snack before bed...

The only other thing I can think of is to put a toddler bed next to your bed...maybe being close but not co-sleeping might help.

I didn't read the other posts, but IMHO, I think that if you get the eczema taken care of, he will be a different child. He most likely has food allergies or sensitivities. If you get him tested, don't just test for IgE reactions. Test for IgG too. It's hard to find a dr that does it, but you can look on this website: www.betterhealthusa.com
It's most likely a reaction to dairy and/or grains (wheat, corn, oats, etc...)
I hope your family gets rest! :)

I feel your pain. mine just started sleeping through most of the night around 15 months now 17 months he gets up once occoasionally. I just try to make sure we play alot during the day and if I give him juice it is early in the morning. We have a routine naptime. I think the big thing that helped is when I started to wean him from nursing at 12 months. Once he got used to not having that comfort it made a huge diffrence. I also offer him a late snack before bed so he does not wake up hungry (in addition I give him a bottle at bedtime, mine is allergic to milk which worsened his eczema so I give him silks original coconut milk). Another thing could be teething I give hylands teething tablets and advil at bedtime. Try aveeno baby eczema cream for the itching if it gets really bad maybe benadryl. It can be trying and know that you are not alone.

Co-sleeping saved me! Seriously. My oldest was a terrible sleeper! I was so tired one night that I decided to try the side-lying position. I laid him down next to me, latched him on and feel asleep. When I woke up, there he was next to me sleeping away. I thought, "Ok, I am not going to move you and take a chance of you waking up."

I went through periods of co-sleeping with both of my boys. Probably the reason I didn't do it 100% was that I almost always put them in their own bed to begin the night. My husband and I fell into a pattern of if they wake in the middle of the night, we just bring them into our bed and go back to sleep.

There are some nights that kids just have trouble sleeping. I think we've all been there. But it really has been one of the best things we ever did.

All people wake during the night. Most of us just fall right back to sleep. Our older son usually does now. But little ones often sleep better with Mommy and Daddy because when they do wake they realize that they are still with Mommy and Daddy and feel safe and can go right back to sleep.

I think it would really make your life easier. I know it did mine!

Added: We were nervous about our son falling out of our bed, also. We put pillows on the floor just in case, but it never did happen. We had no trouble getting our 6 year old to sleep in his bed (except one time when he had a bad fever). Our 3 year old does come in to our bed, but we're ok with that.

Not sure what posts Dawn has read, because I've honestly only seen a couple of posts about people trying to get their kids out of their beds. I think that's a potential problem you might gladly trade for if it means getting some sleep now.