Kids & Accepting Dfferences

Yes, I have noticed this also. The difference is when I was young we weren't exposed to people with disabilities as much as they are now because of the wheelchair accessability and mainstreaming the children in schools instead of sending them to special schools. I think it is O. of the best things for all children, those with the disabilities and to those who don't have them. It teaches them acceptance and keeps them from fearing others who are different. Fear comes from the unknown.

Until my oldest was in 7th grade, my kids went to a tiny neighborhood Catholic school, our church, maybe 200 kids from 3yo prek-8th grade, largely professional upper middle income families.

I worked in school then with them for years, lunch, after care, subbing. Then we decided to meet the needs of families who wanted a full day K, so we started a kindergarten aftercare program. It was me and 5-9 kids five days.

The second year we had a boy named Sam, who had public services provided by the city, while in my class. Sam was pulled for OT and PT three times a week. This was such a unique concept to the other cookie cutter kids (my OWN cookie cutter kids included), that Sam got to LEAVE our classroom with this really fun lady and go do all these cool things! Sam was very popular.

Sam also had two moms. He referred to them as Mommy Kim, and Mommy Laurie. I won't go into the story, but O. day BOTH moms came together to pick up Sam (both were the coolest people, and both were local HS guidance counselors). Another boy in the class asked Sam how if Mommy Laurie (who usually picked him up) was his mom, then who was this OTHER lady? Sam just shrugged and said 'That's my OTHER mom, I have TWO moms'.

The other boy said' That's cool, I wish I had two Moms!'

Then during free play, they developed a game, called Two Moms. In the class we had 6 boys and two girls, so that worked out perfectly.

It did not occur to any of these 5 year olds from um less then diverse backgrounds that Sam's situation was odd, that Sam was someone to be ridiculed for his differences, or avoided altogether.

I think ALL children, if left to their own devices, will embrace diversity, even as a GROUP.

I expected to be approached by parents having heard about their game, or about Sam's moms (this was a small Catholic community), but I did not.

Although O. of the girls in the class did ask me something like, Sam doesn't REALLY have two moms, right? And I said, of course he does! Some kids have two dads, there's Step parent's, half siblings, no Dad, no Mom, doesn't matter it's still a family.

So yes, I agree, for the lack of any negative input from a parent, children will naturally embrace differences.

Great post!

:)

For the most part, yes.

O. day we were in Walmart waiting on some pictures to develop. My son saw a man in a wheelchair struggling to get into the bathroom. He yanked on my shirt and asked if he could go help the man (of course I said yes). When the gentlemen came out of the restroom he made sure to come up to me and say how wonderful of a job I was doing with my son and that he doesn't get to see that too often.

So I think each person may experience different levels of helpfulness since the man stated he didn't see much of it too often. But the kids my kids hang around all mostly all respectful and helpful to others.

Glad to hear your son and the kids at his school are nice/helpful children!

I have to agree that the negative stigma is beginning to go away and I LOVE it!!! I am going to school for Special Education and I did a practicum in a classroom with kiddos with disabilities. The "Sped" kids were more isolated in my high school years. The kids had pictures from prom and I was SO impressed to see them dancing with the "cool" kids and completely included and accepted by them! It really warmed my heart! I love that you are teaching your son about equality! I hope to teach my son the same. Great thread Denise!

well, I'd like to say "yes"....but as the mother of a child who battled physical disabilities (from age 6 on), I have to say that we've seen how absolutely cruel kids can also be with disabilities. & it's just not a handful....you get O. started & most of the others follow.... After my son's hip reconstruction, the hardware was removed & he took it into the class for showNtell. From that point on, his nickname was "metal leg". It was beyond cruel when the kids laughed when they saw the hardware. The teacher was mortified, horrified, & called the counselor in .....their behavior was beyond belief.

So, here's my honest response: yes, good kids are adaptable & accepting. My sons grew up with wheelchairs in the family, with a cousin with Down Syndrome, another cousin with CP, & many other medical issues thru our circle of friends/family. Their Down Syndrome cousin adores my sons...so they must be doing something right!

& I do want to brag: my older son (24) has a best friend with a rare form of MS. He's 23 now & his life expectancy was 18. We know that he is on borrowed time, is now a quadrapalegic.....but can still talk & move his fingers (not his arms) enough to manuever his motorized wheelchair. My son (& the other friends) are all quite adept at assisting in daily care. They handfeed him, hold his straw to his mouth, & even....assist with his urinal/bag. When this young man passes away, my son will be devastated ...as will I.

As a result of these life experiences, I know that my sons will be awesome parents....capable & adept at teaching acceptance of diversity & disabilities.

for the most part, yep!!! my 3 sons were all born with bilateral cleft lip and palate. all of my family is back in Indiana and we try to go out to visit once a year at least if we can. the first time O. of my cousins daughters met my oldest, Ian, he was around 9 months old. Katie was about 5 I think. now, Ian's premaxilla is very prominent and round so it is really obvious he has clefting issues(he next 2 or 3 surgeries will correct most of it and then braces will finish it up later). She kept pointing at Ian and saying, "whats wrong with him? whats wrong with his lip?" not in a mean way, she was young, didnt know and hadnt seen any other kids like Ian. Her mom, my cousins mom, kept looking really embarassed and kept shushing her. THAT is what irratated me. I told Katie, "Ian was born with a hole in his lip and mouth. The doctors are fixing it." she just said "oh, okay" and that was that. I took her mom to the side later and told her that I thought it was rude for her to shush Katie and act like it was something to hide or be ashamed of. She didnt need to get super technical with Katie since she is so young, but that she does need to explain differences to her. The same visit, my step brother was there with his wife and daughter. my niece was 3 at the time. She asked my mom about Ian, so my mom just said he had a booboo and the doctors were making him better. that was good enough for her. My SIL has 4 kids, and her 3rd son just LOVES his cousin Ian to bits. my MIL had them all over O. day and she was taking them to the park. some other kids were pointing at Ian and laughed. Cayden walked up to them and said, " HEY, he is my friend, why are you mean to him" Cayden is 4 and very defensive of his lil cousin, Ian is 2 1/2 now.
Kids need to know about people with disabilities, kids that are "different" than them. The best way to stop prejudices and the like is education. I encourage people, whether family and friends or people in stores etc, to ask me questions. That is the only way they will learn, and it helps to debunk myths or stereotypes. I dont mind when kids stare at my boys, they just dont know or are curious. I cannot stand when adults stare at my boys or whisper behind their hands. If they are within earshot of me I will just say point blank, "did you have a question about my child or do you just have a staring problem?" yep, I know I may be rude in saying that, but I just get so upset about rude people. It is not rude to ask, it is rude to stare and assume....okay, enough of my rant I guess....

Physical disabilities sure, mental, like Autism spectrum, hell no. They look normal so everyone attributes what ever the want to why they behave as they do. Why don't you discipline him? Even when you tell them it is beyond his control they don't care. He spends more time working on how to keep himself under control than most kids spend on anything else. He is getting better but still not there.

When you have parents rolling their eyes at your lack of parenting skills is it any surprise that the kids mirror their parents attitude. Thankfully Andy rolls with it but lord kids are soooooo mean to him.

So no, unless the disability is obvious to them people are not accepting. Yes I can understand at a glance but when you kindly explain that they have Autism and they continue to lecture, when the kids continue to be mean, then no, you have no excuse for the behavior.

Sorry, kinda a sore subject for me. Pretty bad when you have to teach your child to appear normal so the other kids have no reason to give you trouble. :(

Yes, kids are more accepting today, imo. I think some confuse children laughing at people with disabilities as being cruel when sometimes it is because they don't know how to respond. (I laughed at a funeral as a child because I was so uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle the situation. It was awful!!) I am not saying they shouldn't be reprimanded for it because they should. But it should also be used as an opportunity to teach. Kids who have parents and teachers who model acceptance and teach kids how to appreciate others differences will handle uncomfortable situations appropriately and will be more accepting of people who are different from themselves.

Grant I'm not a mother. However I'd like to recommend my award winning children's book, "A Lesson My Cat Taught Me" as a wonderful way to teach the acceptance of others for who they are and not what they are. While the book is geared for children between the ages of 5-8 it is an enjoyable by readers of any age. I invite you to check this book out on Amazon. There's a virtual presentation of the award there.

http://www.amazon.com/Lesson-My-Cat-Taught-Me/dp/1452810885
[There's a 10% currently available for the book]

Please excuse the latest of this reply as I've just found this site. I'd appreciate it if could share this with your friends and family.