So, our little one uses the bathroom at school and "forgets" to wipe. He comes home and takes his undies off and I see the remnants of his daily duty! It has been so bad that I can smell it on occassion. He is perfectly capable of handling his business on his own, has been for over a year now, but just "forgets" he claims. He has wonderful hygiene other than this. Have any of you moms ever dealt with this and if so, what worked?
Thanks!
Can you take him to school with packages of disposable wipes? School toilet paper isn't exactly the 'softest'. :)
He's busy, he's distracted, he's in a hurry to get back to class. If he's forgetting to wipe, he's also going to forget to carry a wet wipe into the school bathroom with him. Nice idea, but I can't see him remembering it and even if he did, he'd have to go fetch the wet wipe every time, which will get other kids' attention eventually and they'll become too interested in his toilet trips. You could ask the teacher if you can place a container of wet wipes in the bathrooms for all the kids to use all the time, I guess, but that seems unrealistically expensive!
Maybe set up a chart at home: Every day he comes home clean, both on his underwear and on your inspection of his backside, he gets a star; any day he comes home dirty, he gets no star; after a certain number of stars he then gets some reward he truly values, whatever that is (visit to the ice cream shop, movie, new Legos, whatever). Keep the time periods reasonable, though - if the reward is only earned after weeks of trying, he won't make it through. He's too young to wait that long for the connection between effort and reward in a case like this. Maybe go a week at a time. Good luck.
I have 4 daughters and they all went through this stage. For them, they would get itchy and red and sore. I'd just drive the point home that they feel like crud because they are living dirty. In my house, we talk a LOT about germs and staying clean and use bleach in everything. The stage is very normal and will pass soon enough. All you can really do is keep talking with him about the sicknesses that spread from not staying clean.
positive rewards for proper behavior.
To kick start the process, you may need to use a few punishments: taking away after-school tv, etc for him to get the picture!
If you're sure it's not an issue of encopresis, I second the idea of sending some moist wipes with him.
Yes, my son who is now 7 1/2 at times still doesn't wipe very well. I think it has to do with them maybe 'accidentally' getting some on their hand or something - or they are just boys and can't be bothered! :) Anyway, see if you can send some wet wipes to school for him to use and have him use at home also - that seems to help a little. Sometimes the toilet paper just cant' get it all...
You could try to explain to him that if you can smell him, his friends can, too. And that the other kids wouldn't care if he "forgot"--they might tease him anyway... and the nicknames for this could be pretty awful, and might stick with him for a long time....
My son went through that stage but he wasn't in school so it was happening at home. I was able to monitor him.
The problem was he thought he was wiping good but when I started checking, he didn't get it well enough.
I went ahead and bought him disposable wipes and he didn't have a problem after that. The wipes glide better against the skin if you know what I mean.
You might want to check what toilet paper they are using at school too. Is he having a problem reaching all the way around? My son wipes from front to back. so has to reach his arm around his back.
I have the same problem with my six year old. I have him wash out his underwear every time...I remind him that when he was three, four, and five this didn't happen. I tell him he has big hands and can do a really good job. I ask him if there is paper, I've explained how to he needs to clean. This can be frustrating, I don't make it the center of our afternoon (after I get him from school)...but I do make a comment, tell him to shower. I don't want to make this a daily argument between us. I like the idea of wipes, I'm going to try that. I hope he'll get tired of hand washing his clothes, understands that he's a big boy with big capable hands to be clean.
I haven't had this experience yet (my son is only 3.5) but saw somethign similar in my nephew when he was five or six. He'd use the bathroom, wipe himself (I peeked and saw him do it) but when I'd come in and do an "inspection" I'd notice that he was totally dirty. Turns out he was taking a whole bunch of paper, crumpling it together and just wiping it against his bum once. It took a while for him to get used to doing it the right way.
Maybe he's just too excited at school, has too many other things to run off to? I like the idea of the diposable wipes. They are much softer and really help get a clean feel.
