Is Potty Training Supposed to Be This HARD?!?!!?

He's not ready yet. And yes, it WILL be this hard when the child isn't ready. I only have girls, but have heard that boys take a little longer before they're ready to potty train. Just be patient. He'll let you know when he's ready (will tell you when he needs to be changed, will ask to go potty, will be able to stay dry for longer periods of time, able to pull his pants up and down).

Funny thing is when we stop trying so hard they do it....there is a time and place for everything. Believe it or not he will do it on his own time...try letting him be for a bit and see if he will do it. Good luck.

Sorry to hear it is so frustrating. My son has Sensory Processing Disorder and it made the process long and grueling for us too. He never cared whether he was wet or poopy...he never wanted to interrupt playing to try the potty...he had a hard time telling when he had to go yet wanted ZERO suggestions from anyone else. All the "magic" answers everyone talked about didn't work for him...only time worked. The only thing was that at about the age of your son, I started offering potty treats (candy or other special items) that could only be earned if he sat on the potty and tried to pee. Once that started going well, I changed it to only getting a treat if he actually produced some pee in the potty. Once it became a habit for him he stopped asking for the treat.

Sorry - he's just not ready, and you can't make it happen. I know it's frustrating - I went thru the same thing. This is a developmental milestone and not his stubbornness. He can't feel the urge - the bladder-to-brain connection isn't there yet. You've done all you can. And I think you have to put him in diapers for school - it's not fair to the teachers to have to clean up urine all the time. That pulls a teacher out of the room and decreases the student/teacher ratio - would you want that for your child if another kid was sent in without diapers?

I think you have to wait until he tells you he's ready. He sees other kids using the potty, he knows what's expected, and he certainly knows what you want him to do. He just can't.

I'd wait at least a couple of months, really - put this experience behind you. The only thing that works with little boys (once it's too cold to pee on the trees, which is fun) is to put a square of toilet paper in the toilet and let him try to sink it. They even make "tinkle targets" but it seems silly to spend money on something you can do yourself.

I promise you he won't go to kindergarten in a diaper. I know you hate changing them and paying for them, but it's just as expensive to wash all that laundry! Give both of you a break.

Potty training is really not training at all. When the child is ready it is nearly the introduction of a new concept. The best advice I have is to work with the boy and praise him for trying and let him try again later. My middle son was a handful but he soon got it. I think you should wait a while and don't pressure him. If the child feels stress then that will make the process longer. Hang in there and don't pull out your hair. Lots of boys are four years old when it's time.

It tends to be hard, confounding, and frustrating for everyone concerned if the child is not yet ready. Readiness can occur as late as 4.5 to 5 years for some kids, with boys often training later than girls. There are three areas of maturity that much be attained for training to work, physical development (bladder, nervous system), cognitive development (ability to recognize signals in time), and emotional development (willingness to accept the ongoing responsibility to respond in time, every time).

When these three have been attained, training comes together quickly, sometimes in only a few days or a couple of weeks. Here are some helpful readiness checklists: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

wait hes not ready. the more stress you put on him (and i can tell your stressed) the less likely he will want to do it. wait a month or 2 then try again. my daughter will be 4 in march and still wears a diaper at night and has an occasional accident. hes just not ready. when he is it will happen. sit down breath and be patient!

Ah I remember these days!

We had a special potty party. Before the special party, we went shopping for hats, noisemakers, cups, new underwear - all things my son picked out. We built up the party like crazy and he was so excited. I let the water and milk free-flow so he would have to go. But...when it was time to sit on the potty and go, he screamed like we were torturing him. An hour into it, I was sitting there crying my eyes out because I felt like such a failure and that I gave up so easily.

Truth is, he wasn't ready.

And, when we backed off completely and waited for him to come to us he was potty trained in one day, with only two accidents after that (poop training took a few more weeks). In both cases, he just said "I'm not going to go potty in my pants anymore." He was 3 years 7 months.

Moral of the story? Maybe you just need to drop it completely and let him take the lead. I never in a million years thought we would get him potty trained but just like that he did it.

Here's to hoping that works for your child too, because I totally feel ya! It's so entirely frustrating!

My son was the same way, my pediatrician said "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink" he also said if the sense your frustration sometimes they won't do it either. I told my son he could have a potty party at our local chuck E cheese if he went potty for a certain # of days with out an accident. he was 3yrs 3 months when he trained. my husband his dad was home on disability at the time and it just started happening. He only had 1 accident and it was because my FIL forgot my house key. There are also potty games ring to put in the toilet and tell him he can spray them or shoot them. good luck it will happen sooner or later.

I was there with you several months ago. DD learned at 3 yrs 7 months. She was completely resistant. I think that many of the training methods may work well at younger ages, but at this age will is involved and stickers and prizes may be a lot less effective. And treats and prizes can backfire bc the child should get satisfaction from learning this skill. Bribing may not work at all, depends on the kid.

DD didn't care. The fact that everyone we knew older and younger was out of diapers had no effect on her at all, she really couldn't have cared less. She was peeing in the potty when she got up and before bed and would try in between but that was it. She was also completely dry every night. Then she started refusing to go on the potty at all. No pressure from me, bc that would have backfired completely with DD. But one day I informed her that we were not buying more diapers when we were done with what we had. She replied, "No way!" I let it go. A week later she informed me that we were not buying additional diapers when those were gone. I said ok, put her on her potty in front of the tv (we dont do a lot of screen time) around her normal poop time and she went on the potty and that was that. No more diapers and only a couple small accidents. She did it on her own schedule after I planted the seed.

So I'd say quit now, just let it go. Put him in diapers, no pullups or underwear if he isn't interested in learning to use the potty. No pressure. Take him to buy some underwear that he likes to get him interested and then try again in a couple weeks. I know the giant diapers are a pain and also the fact that you feel that everyone else learned already, but he will get there. Seriously, in the spring I was wondering if she would ever learn and getting stressed about it (keeping it to myself) and I was so shocked that it literally happened overnight.

I can completely understand the frustration. We had a hard time getting my son who is almost 4 potty trained. We finally found a potty chair that would play music when ever he peed which helped with peeing in the potty. Pooping in the potty was another story. I think this took about another month or two. We finally had to practically bribe him with a trip to Disney World since we live in FL. We called it the "Road to Disney". We had a printout of Lightning McQueen and everytime he pooped in the potty we moved his car one spot closer to the picture of Disney World. This was he could see what he was working towards.

Hang in there, he will get the hang of it on his own.

What worked for both my son and daughter was (sounds awful) to let them go naked. Find a time when you can stay home for a few days straight. All it took was one accident, and they were trained. We were careful about where they went in the house, and which furniture they sat on - making sure that everything was covered or off limits.
It does sound like you should give him a little more time without even mentioning the potty, then build up to the big exciting day of no diapers and new underwear. Good luck.

My two sons are now grown and on their own, so I hope this product is still sold. They're called "Tinkel Targets". Water soluable disks with trains, planes and automobiles in different colors printed on them. I found them in a store at the mall, specializing in toys and parenting aids. I wish I could remember this chain's name. Anyway...Tinkel Targets were successful. Once potty training was complete, another problem cropped up. My second son (now 3 yrs and some months old) refused to go pee before he went to bed. He'd get up from his toddler bed after he wet it and climb into our bed. You guessed it...he peeded again in our bed every night! I was at Homegoods one day and there they were...Batman sheets, blankets and pillows. My son LOVED Batman. I bought the set, made his bed, he was so excited. I explained to him that if he did not go to the bathroom before he went to bed and wet his bed, the Batman sheets would be ruined. Since then, he went to the bathroom every night and not one accident. I tell you, if those sheets came in queen size, I would have bought them. Ah...good times. Good luck, J.. Remember, this to shall pass.

Well I have to say that I was in your same situation about four months ago. My daughter was over three years old and still expressed no interest in potty training. Finally after I had my son I was off work and I told her this was it. We were going to the potty and she was going to use it. I took her every twenty minutes and made her sit on the potty for five minutes each time. I did this every day and lavished enormous amounts of praise on her and she finally got the hang of it. I won't give all the credit to myself because I think she was finally ready. Just don't give up and be sure to tell how proud you are of him.

It is a frustrating process. I'm not an expert (except I have a nearly 3 yr old), but her school/daycare at the time goes cold turkey when the kiddos turn 2.4. I'm told by them, a vast majority of children know/recognize the sensation that they need to go to the bathroom at the age. So in we went with 7 pairs of underpants (of which she helped out - felt part of the process), and 5 full outfits for changes. Even with this "cold turkey" technique, we also did a sticker reward potty chart. I printed a photo my daughter picked out, put it on a power point, wrote "Stella's Potty Chart" and laminated it. She also helped pick out the stickers. We posted it in the bathroom. We also try to make it a game (a bit) by asking: Did you turn the water yellow? Do you hear the tinkle? We also let her pick out some books to keep next to the toilet. It's still a continuous process, but it does get better. I guess my point is, involve your son in the process (it doesn't sound like he knew he was going cold turkey). Maybe then he will show an interest. Try to make it as fun as possible. Try not to get too frustrated - it's only been 3 days - keep at it!!! Best of luck! Oh, the only additional point I would add is to speak to the school/teachers. They may have a preference, suggestion, or ideas.

Please don't torture the teachers.

He is old enough but obviously not ready. Take it easy on your self and stop! When he is ready it will happen. Your child's teachers should be working on potty training with him so let them and put him in pullups. Use an overnight pullup or "giant diaper" and wait. Potty training in cold months is pretty hard anyway. If he gets cold he will pee.

How long do you want to clean up pee and pooh off your floors. The house will stink too, and it's a very hard smell to get rid of. Wait until he's ready. We put pullups on J and he finally got interested and just started going one day and did well after that. When he was ready he was ready and it was easy.

sounds like you did too much in one day. Every 20 minutes is a little excessive and puts a lot of pressure on a child. I would do every hour after the first time he goes. Does he communicate to you? My son was trained at 18 months but even last week at 3 and half he went through a whole week of wetting his pants. I was like what is wrong with you. He just didn't care. But I didn't make a big deal of it. I just said, next time lets go try to go in the potty. When he was 18 months old we bought him his own potty and sang the potty dance when he went in it. At three they can be very stubborn. Has he ever gone in the potty? Sometimes I put toilet paper in the potty and have my son try to aim and sink it.. When he has to go does he start to dance around or wiggle? Does he know when he needs to go? Can you tell when he needs to go? Does he see you go to the potty? Do you say it outloud, MOMMY is going to go PEE in the POTTY, YEAHHH!!!

sorry. he is not ready. Commit to diapers, and vow to not try for a couple of months. You need a break from the attempts to. Clean, fresh start when he is ready. The key here is that your decided that Thursday was the day, but he did not. He needs more time, and you both probably need a break from the stress. It is hard, but not supposed to be as frustrating as this :) Good luck

We just started 3 days ago and it's going pretty well. We have been trying for a while now and it just didn't work. Then on Friday night she took off her pull up and said she wanted to use mommys potty. All weekend long we would sit her on the potty every hour or so and we would sing songs and do her ABC's. Finally on Sunday she went in the "potty" We were so excited and so was she. So as a reward for going in the potty we took her to McDonalds. I wouldn't go with the underwear just yet. I am going to wait until next week and then try the underwear. Yes we will have accidents but not to many. I Hope. Just be patient and when the time is right he will tell you that he wants to use the potty. GL

I've heard mothers rave about the three day potting training method. I think its a book. Google it.

only you know your son. Does he truly not get anything your saying, or is he choosing not to participate? If he truly isn't understanding the concept, then I would say he isn't ready and you should wait another month & try again; however, if you think he just isn't excited about participating, well that is a different story. Here is what I did with both of my kids...I asked them if they saw any big kids or adults wearing diapers? They say no! I say exactly! It is time for you to start going pee & poo in the potty like everybody else. Say, you used to drink from a bottle, but now you drink from a cup. you use to suck a pacifier, but now you don't. You used to pee & poo in diapers and soon, you won't. So when you feel like you need to go, let me know or run to the potty, you can even interupt mommy while she's talking to tell me you need to go!! Bla Bla Bla, then I started in the morning with havnig mine sit and try. If they couldn't go, i didn't make them sit there. I just said, maybe next time. I then would set my watch alarm for 45 mintues and keeping trying. If my kids had an accident in between, then I would reset my watch from that time. the alarm helped train me to be more aware of their needs. Also when out & about I had them go when we went in store and before we left the store. My kids got it fairly quickly with the peeing part, but the poo was harder and I when they had a poo accident would put them in the tub and clean them with cold water, I explained that hot water was for baths and had to be saved. the cold water was a natural consequence of pooping in their pants. My daughter still was having none of it and I finally figured out she wouldn't do it until she wanted it as much as I did. So I figured out what her currency was and it happened to be chocolate milk and told her that until she did her job properly, she would not be allowed to have her chocolate milk. she would come ask for milk, I would ask, Did you poo in the potty today, she would say no and i would say, well you have your answer! It took her 4 days and then I hear moooooooom!! I went running and there she was in the bathroom and she screams I poo in the potty today! I say yes you did, what a big girl? She then asks can I have my chocolate milk now? I said well, did you poo in the potty today and she got this big grin onn her face and yelled yes and I said, well you have your answer then! She was thrilled and we never looked back. My son pretty much followed her lead and never really had any problems. My daughter was fully day trained by age 3. my son, by age 2. You can see some of my other answers to this potty thing about night training. But honestly, your son really has no motivation to stop going in his pants. 1. it is all he has known so it is a hard ingrained habit. 2. It doesn't require him to stop having fun to go in his pants. 3. Someone else handles all the clean up. etc.etc. Get him to want it as much as you do without it physically hurting him or degrading him and you'll be fine. I mean after all if you have faith that he is smart and capable, then he will meet that expectation!! Don't sell him short if he can follow instructions in other ways, such as go in your room and get a book, then he should be able to figure this whole thing out fairly quickly. Not to say there won't be accidents, but he should be able to adapt quick enough. Hope this helps you. P.S. Whatever you do, don't send him to school with big kid underwear until you know he's ready and nothing will cause you to go back to diapers!! The school should continue what you start, but at this point you really haven't made any head way. So I would wait until you have a good long weekend to give it another go. Hate to stress your holidays, but he is at home with you for several days then. Best of luck. Just remember potty training is really training for the parents, not the kid, he knows how to go already and that is changing, just the where! You on the other hand get to learn how to be more aware of his needs and you get to plan ahead on all your outings etc... & it is a big pain in the booty, but once it is done, it is sooooooo worth it!! Here is a few tips....when out & about to keep car seat from getting nasty, use puppy pads. Buy gallon zip bags to store soiled clothes etc... until you can get them washed or throw stuff away. I went to a garage sale & bought 7 short sleeve shirts, 7 pants, 7 shorts, 7 long shirts, 7 pairs of socks. I spent like 25 cents and item and so for very little, i had emergency fund that i didn't have to repack constantly and I was ready for anything. i put it all in a bag and stored in the trunk for those uh oh moments. This way I wasn't having to pack a bag every outing. Huge time saver!!