Is 9-10Pm Too Late for a 3 Month Old Baby to Go to Sleep

Updated on August 24, 2009
V.A. asks from Wheeling, IL
33 answers

Hi -

I am a mother of a 3 month old he started with a bedtime routine about 2 weeks ago and goes to sleep around 9-10pm I normally shower him in the morning vs the night as I am scared that the night time shower will make it harder for him to fall asleep but then again I a new mom and that's the reason why I would really appreciate some advice...Should I start with a bedtime routine earlier? lets say around 7pm ? and should I feed him before I give him a bath or after? Please advice... Thanks!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Chicago on

V., yes, I'd say this is fairly late depending on when he and you/rest of famly get up, but more importantly, I'd bathe him in the tub, not shower, and feed him afterwads; I think a bath is more calming. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.K.

answers from Chicago on

Once my baby was sleeping pretty well through the night, we put her to bed at 8:00 p.m. every night. 3 month olds do not get that dirty, so bathing every night is probably not necessary. You can just wash him off with a hand towel before bed. Baby's skin is so sensitive, too, that it really probably does not need daily baths. I would read my baby a book or two every night and give her a bottle right before bed. We still do the routine with reading; however, we now brush her teeth, too, right before bed.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think 10pm is too late for a 3 month old. I think my DD was was almost 5 months until she started to go to bed earlier... by the time she really got on a good sleep schedule it was about 6 months... but she had ear problems. So good luck keep up what you are doing!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi V. Your son is still very young. You can try all the above to see what works the best. But don't stress yourself to much about it because at his age they may sleep and wake up at all hours during the night and day.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Chicago on

heehee my 11month old goes to sleep between 10pm and midnight and always has give or take a few hours and a few months. From what I understand, it's pretty normal for babies to go to sleep on their parents' schedules; why shouldn't they since they don't have school or work in the morning? My friends with babies put their babies down at 10pm or sometimes later; one friend who's a nurse puts her baby down at 2:30am cuz her schedule's like that! What's important is that he gets enough hours, not his actual bedtime. They're "supposed" to get 12-13 hours I think but mine always just gets 9 and at 3m he got 11 but he was happy.

In terms of the bath... I have learned that my crazy baby is the oposite of most and giving him a bath before bedtime is horrible cuz it wakes him up; he thinks he's in a waterpark that nutcase. So for us bathtime is mid-day. I also don't like bath as part of the bedtime routine because there isn't always time for it and because bathing a baby every day can dry out their skin (depending on the baby) so I don't always bathe him every day and if that was part of his routine it would throw him off if we didn't do it.

I would recommend feeding right before sleep because they usually fall asleep feeding. Does your baby nurse? Mine nurses to sleep. It's an easy way to slip him into his crib happily.

Good luck! Don't freak out if he's not a perfect sleeper; mine's not and I talk to people with 3-6 year olds who still aren't. Kids don't wanna miss anything in life through something as dull as sleep. It's kind of beautiful if you think about it... if you're awake enough to think about it... haha

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.E.

answers from Chicago on

Hi V.,
My name is J. and I also do have a 3 months old. She goes has no fixed bed time as of now, she goes at 7pm, sometimes at 8pm. I think at 3 months , your son still to little to have a routine but you can start little by little. This is what I am doing and so far its going well. I give her a bath at 6pm, put tons of lotion and little massage( infant massage), swaddle her, then feed her, then to bed by 7 or 7:30pm. So, the soon you start, the sooner your son will go to bed because it takes a long time to get all these things done. So, don't be scared of the night bath, it actually relaxes the baby. You are doing an amazing job of being a mom, so good luck with everything.

J.( mother of two girls; 3 years and 3months)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Springfield on

I think all babies are different and if what your doing works for you and you like it, u should do that.
However, I personally think a bath routine at night is a good thing, it relaxes them and prepares them for when they are older and dirty from the day, u'll prob do baths at night..so if u started that now, u wouldn't have to change later.? Just a thought.
I always followed my sons's cues on when he started to seem tired etc. At 3mths he still ate really frequently, he was such a little piggy, so a really strict schedule didn't apply... But we still tried to start a schedule, he was at daycare all day so he always acted really tired by 7.. we'd do bath and all that and he was in bed by 730-still doing that at 21mths old... he loves the routine. (at 4mths we did cereal so i did cereal, bath, then bottle, bed--so u can adjust all that as ur child gets older..)
YOu'll figure out what works for you, and you'll have some rough nights along the way with growth spurts/teething, etc....good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Bath is up to you, we give my little one a bath, then I nurse him and put him in bed. But we both work and it is too hard to give him a bath in the morning.

Bed, it depends on your schedule? When I was home before I went back to work we put him down at 10, but once I started back at work, we put him down earlier. But he was 5 month old and he slept through the night most nights. If you get up and go early then you might want to put him down earlier.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I personally think that 9-10 pm is a little late for a baby.
The best advice I received was that once you start a routine you should follow thru until the baby/child becomes accustom. I'm a firm believer that giving a baby a bath before bedtime relaxes them. Try taking him a bath with (Johnson & Johnson Lavender Bath) and applying Bedtime Lavender Lotion. This usually makes the baby tired and hungry. I would then feed & burp him and put him to sleep. I also used to play a lullaby cd everynight and think that helped him fall asleep. Even though its been 7 yrs since my LiL Angel was that small I can definitley relate to your situation. Good Luck & Congrats on your 1st born blessing.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, congratulations!!!! Whatever works for you is what is best!!! Because my baby wouldn't sleep through the night, I wouldn't put him to bed until we went to bed (around 11p) or so, then I would nurse him and put him to bed. I would (every other day) give him a bath, lotion him all up and give him a massage and talk to him soothingly, say our prayers, read some books, then nurse him and go to bed. Then he would wake up around 4a or 5a or so, I would nurse again, and then he would sleep again until 8a or 9a. This way baby would get good sleep, and so would Mommy!!! As he slept longer, I made the night-time earlier and earlier. (This way me and hubby had some time together as well)! Whatever works for YOU is perfect.

Take care!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Chicago on

When my boys were that age, they went to bed late, around 10 or so, so they would sleep later and i fed them right before bed so they didnt wake in the night hungry. Then as they got older, about 9-12 months, i put them to bed earlier, and they still slept to about 8am. I give baths at night and at that age, he doesnt need a bath every night. Every other is fine. The warm water should help relax him. My youngest is 15 months and now he goes to bed around 7pm after dinner and a bath.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi V.! I haven't read any other replies, so sorry if mine is repetitive. I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 4 month old. Their routines at this age have pretty much been the same. The bedtime you are doing right now is a bit late. Typically, a 3 month old is going to bed around 8:30pm with that falling back to as early as 6:30pm by 4 months. I know! That sounds crazy early!! But by 4 months, they should start falling asleep at that time somewhat naturally. A lot of parents mistake this for another "afternoon" nap, but you'll find if you put the baby down for the night at that time, he'll start sleeping through the night sooner. That's because sleep begets sleep. It's one of the secrets nobody tells you.

Also, don't fear a bath as part of an evening routine. This was how we trained my oldest daughter to sleep at night. Her routine was bath, rice cereal, breast/bottle, sleep. Her bath was such a part of her winding down that we gave it to her every single night until she was 3 (with some exception, but rarely did we skip it). We are not doing the same with our baby because we don't want to be tied to a bath every single night again. But if it works for you and that makes getting your baby down at night easier, go for it. The warm water actually relaxes them and soon your baby will associated the bath with bedtime.

If all goes the way it should, sometime between 4-6 months your baby should start sleeping 12 hours through the night. Put him down at 7pm and he should sleep until 7am. Solid foods will help this at this age...something to look forward to : )

Good luck! Hope this helped : )

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Peoria on

I think it depends on what works for you, your child, and your house. Most of what you hear are guidlines, but you have to find out what works for you. My 2 older children are 3 (almost 4) and 2. They go to bed between 8:00-8:30 every night. They get up at about 6:30-7:00 am. There are many parents who say to put your child to bed at 6 or 6:30. That doesn't work for us. My huband doesn't even get home from work until between 6:30 and 7:00 If I put them to bed before that he would never see them and they would never see him. My youngest is 8 weeks and his schedual is falling asleep sometime between 9-10 and waking for a feeding around 5-6, then sleeping until 8. His schedual during the day hasn't evened out quite yet though. I know for all my children a warm bath calms them at night, but a warm shower revitalizes me. Once again you have to see what works for your child. Try giving him a warm bath one or two nights and see if it seems to calm him or revitalizes him. I also use a lavendar sented soap that is supposed to relax them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hello! I am a mother of 3 adult children and i do know what your going thru with your baby. Ususally they sleep alot at that age, but if your baby is restless at night, maybe bathe him or her a little earlier like between 6 or 7pm so the child can have time to wind down a little bit...JUST A THOUGHT...BUT HEY DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR CHILD...CONGRATS WITH YOUR NEW BUNDLE OF JOY

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I think it has to do with your family situation. I get scolded for not having my kids in bed early. For the school year, yes it makes lots of sense for my older kids to get to bed early so they are not tired. But my 16 month old has always gone to bed about 11 or so. This is because my husband works until 1 in the morning and doesn't get to bed until 2 or 3. If she woke up at 6 in the morning, he would not get any sleep. I work full time so I am not there to help out. Books and advice I have gotten are all-baby in bed by 7 or 8 but that does not always work for everyone.

L.H.

answers from Chicago on

Baby's do best from my understanding with giving them a bath/shower at night time. It relaxes them and helps them sleep better. I give my almost 4 month old a bath about 3 times a week at the most. I have been told that too many tubbies can dry out their skin. I put my daughter down between 9-9:30pm and she usually sleeps till between 7am-8am. She does sleep all the way through the night. I may have to get up once or twice, but I just put her pacifier back in and she falls right back to sleep. Sometimes I just let her cry. It is never for very long. Eventually I will Start backing her up once she is sleeping less during the day. That is what I did with my 2 1/2 year old when she was this age. Hope that helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Chicago on

Just do whatever works for you and your family. It's important he's getting the right number of hours, but especially if you work kind of a crazy schedule (my husband works until about 2am and I leave for school at 6ish) it may work for you better to be up later and let him sleep in. We do, and that's what works for us!
Don't worry, he'll change in a few months too with when naps are, when he's hungry, how often he'll wake up! :)
Good luck, and all the best

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Chicago on

V.,

With both of my boys, I started a bedtime routine at about 1 1/2 months. I would start around 6:30 or 7 and I would bath them and then nurse or bottle feed them and then lay them down for bed. It worked out good for everyone because the baby was to bed early and I then had some adult time for myself. Also, babies need structure and routine and (in my opinion) an early bedtime. And the bath at night did not wake then up, it made them sleepy and they slept better after a bath.

Good luck with the new little one.

C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would buy the book "Healthy sleep habits, happy baby" - all you need to know about sleep is in that book. your baby could go to bed earlier, it really depends on the total amount of sleep per day. Some will sleep from 7pm or 8pm through to the next morning. Certainly, once he is a little older, you will want him to go to bed no later than 8pm. Babies don't need a bath every day but if you want to do that, the morning is as good a time as any. Feed baby when baby is hungry and generally at regular intervals though they go through growth spurts when they eat more often. Good luck. The most important aspect of this is that baby gets plenty of sleep and grows on a regular growth curve - check with your pediatrician to make sure this is happening. Then relax and enjoy your little one.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Short answer: YES!! Sleep is absolutely essential for your child's brain development, so you are right to be concerned about the bedtime routine and time. I agree with the mother who recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. Dr. Weissbluth is a pediatrician and the founder and former director of the Children's Sleep Disorders Clinic at Children's Memorial Hospital, right here in Chicago. He was with the clinic for 30 years, and currently has a practice on Lakeshore Drive. I guarantee that his book works. In fact, we consulted with Dr. Weissbluth personally for our own daughter, who was a crabby beast at 8 months old. She was going to bed at 7:30 pm, but Dr. Weissbluth had us put her bed at 6:00 p.m. for several weeks!! Within three weeks, she was completely mellowed out, her naps were perfect, and she was an absolute joy. We eventually worked our way to a 7:00 pm bedtime, which remained for at least another year.

The book also addresses feeding, bathing, and other bedtime routine issues.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I don't thin it's too late. My son went to bed around that time too when he was that little. Then he would take good long naps in the day. But my daughter needs to be in bed by 8, and her naps are shorter. I think it's different with every baby. As long as he's getting around the recommended 15 hours, do whatever schedule works for your family. There will be plenty of years when you have to do the traditional bedtime for school.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Chicago on

You have to do what's best for your family. When my oldest was a baby, we didn't put her to bed until 10. My husband had a long commute to work so he left very early and wasn't home until 6:30 -7pm. If I put my daughter to bed at a "regular" bedtime, he would miss out on spending time with her or maybe even seeing her at all. Friends thought I was crazy but it worked out nice for us. I worked from home so it didn't matter that she slept in, in the morning. She had her last feeding between 9-10 and would sleep thru the night. When she got a little older (and gave up her second nap) my husband still had a long commute but my daughter had a hard time staying up to spend time with her dad. I started giving her a little nap from 5-6pm. Sounds crazy right? It actually worked great because I was able to get dinner made and she was wide eyed and bushy tailed for her dad when he got home. They had great quality time together to play because she was rested and ready to go! Both of my daughters slept thru the night at 6 weeks of age. I fed them every 3-4 hours during the day and their last bottle was around 9-10. I would wake them during the day if they slept too long so that the feedings would stay consistant(3-4 hours). My youngest would fall asleep usually on her dad's chest and we would put her down for the night. She never woke up during the night. My daughter is six now and she is the best kid when it comes to family parties. She never whines about being tired and wanting to go home. She never hangs on us because she's tired. I have friends who have kids that are & always have been put to bed every night by 7:30. When it comes to an event that they need them to stay up, they just can't make it. Their kids are whining and hanging all over them until their parents give in and take them home. When my daughter started school last year, we started an earlier bed time. The first couple of nights were hard for her but she was so tired from school that by the third night she was ready for bed by 8pm. I do agree that a baby needs to be fed before bed, but I agree that a bath right before bed (for some kids) makes them more awake.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.H.

answers from Chicago on

You cannot establish a nighttime routine without taking into consideration the length of time he sleeps during the day and the amount of exercise that he gets during the day. Nighttime baths are relaxing to a little one. Then make sure the tummy is full and he should be ready to crash for the night for you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.O.

answers from Chicago on

No, I don't think that's too late. Your child is still very young, so anything you can do to start good sleep habits now is great. Just make sure you're starting a routine you can live with down the line. As he gets older and naps longer, but less frequently, you can start putting him down earlier...he'll let you know when he's tired.

If you haven't already I suggest checking out one of the "sleep" books for babies - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child; the Happiest Baby on the Block; etc. They all have different methods - some you'll agree with, some not. Before you "buy in" to a program, check it out at the local library to see if it's right for you/your parenting style/your child. They give great info on signs of being tired before they are overtired, how to handle travelling, teething, etc.

There are all kinds of phases kids will go through and it's nice to feel like you are making an educated decision about how to handle "sleep issues" when they come down the line.

Good luck and congrats!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

although there is no right or wrong, it is really nice to get them to bed by 8 and than have a few hours of adult time before you go to bed. Also if you follow the Baby Whisperer advice of giving a dream feed when you go to bed I think you will find that you get a nice solid night sleep too. To do a Dream Feed you put the baby down by 8, then a few hours later when you are ready to go to sleep you go in and nurse or give the baby a bottle without really waking it up, hence the dream part of the dream feed. This way you know the baby has a full tummy and can go 6 hours without having to eat. This really does work wonders.

ALL children need 11 to 12 hours of sleep each night until they are about 10 yrs old, so if the baby is going to sleep at 10, is is sleeping till 10 a.m.? I doubt it. That is another reason for an earlier bedtime.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Disregard the person that blatantly responded "YES". My son is now 19 monthes and he has always had a late bed time. He typically goes to bed around 9, but he has been up until 10:30 before.
When he was your son's age we put him to bed around 9pm because that way he would have a morning bottle at 7am and then go back to sleep until around 9am. I work 1st shift and my husband works 2nd. That schedule allowed for my husband to do the 2-3am feeding and then I did the morning feeding so that my husband could get a little more sleep. The late bed time works for us.
I don't think the time that your child goes to bed is nearly as important as is he getting enough sleep. We don't keep our son up or try to make him sleep. When he's tired he naps and when he's slept enough he wakes. Ask your Doc how much sleep your baby needs and just try to make sure that he's getting that much.
My son has never really been a sleeper. I've heard about babies that'll sleep 10 or 12 hours at a time, but mine's just not that way. 9 hours is usually a full night for my boy with 2 or 3 short naps during the daytime. I think that's just the way he's wired. He must get it from my husband he can function on just five hours.
Bottom line if your baby is growing normally, eating well, and happy don't sweat the rest. It took me a long time as a new Mommy to figure that out. Trust him, he knows what he needs and trust yourself, you know too!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Chicago on

My babies stayed up until 10 or 11 until they were quite a bit older and got on a more typical toddler schedule (when they start to have longer waking and organized naps - maybe 9 months or so?). Helps them to sleep longer. I don't think a nighttime shower/bath would keep him awake, but I also don't think it matters either way as long as you have a nighttime routine. Congratulations on your new baby!

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

It depends if he is still napping 3 times or is now down to 2. My 9 month old dropped the 3rd nap around 4 months and started with an earlier bed time (8pm). That seemed to work for us. I tried the earlier earlier bedtimes that are often recommended but my 9 mo old only requires 10 hours of sleep a night (I can put him to bed at 6pm, he gets up 10 hrs later or 8pm and gets up 10 hrs later)...so a 730 or 8pm bedtime works best for us. My daughter (25 mos) was perfect with a 7pm-7am from 4 months on -- before that she did 8pm-7am and gradualy required more sleep.

If he is down to 2 naps, 9-10pm is way too late. I would try starting the feeding, bath, cuddle routine a little early each day and gradually move back to a reasonable time like 7 or 8 for him to actually be in his crib. That might mean starting the feeding/bath an hour earlier than you want him in bed. Don't be afraid of the evening baths... it can be soothing even if they love to play and splash eventually and they get used to the routine. We only bathe ours every other day though (and they know it is coming when they hear "bath night"). Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.S.

answers from Chicago on

I just wanted to say I completely agree with the last poster. Skip the bath from the routine for all the exact same reasons she said, and 9-10 is completely fine.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Chicago on

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is a great book to determine sleep schedules. Yes, it says they should go down quite a bit earlier (between 6:00-8:00). Check the book out and see what you think. And by the way, you can use the information without applying the cry it out part.

P.S. I never bathed my kids daily. They don't rally need it. Lots of my friends bathe them one or twice a week:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.X.

answers from Chicago on

at 3 months we had both kids asleep around 6-7, up the same time. but they don't nap much. My youngest would take one nap for 2-3 hrs, my oldest only 2 .5 hr ones when he was little. so. depends.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!
I am a mom to six month old triplets, and started working on their bedtime routine around 3 months as well. Our routine goes something like this...bath(I think the bath is a good way to calm the girls)...(they also have a lotion made by Johnson and Johnson for nighttime that is suppose to help calm the baby as well, but I don't use it), put our jammies on and then go into the bedroom to have our final bottle and then into bed. I start the routine around 6, and try to have all the girls in bed before 7:30. Eventually I would like to read them a book or two before bed, but that hasn't happened yet. Except for recently, the girls only wake up once in the night and sleep until 7 or 8. For some unknown reason, they are starting to get up twice a night....but I think it is because they are growing, teething, something. From everything that I have read, it is best to get your child into bed around 6-7, and pretty much all my friends with kids put their kids down around the same time, however, I think it is important to have a schedule that not only works for you child but for you as well. I personally like putting them down early, so then I have a little time for myself to wind down and relax. If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me.
____@____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Chicago on

As he gets older, and settles into a 2 nap a day schedule, he'll start going to bed earlier. For now 9-10 is pretty normal. I didn't do the bath as part of the bedtime routine because of a few things. First, I think bath can be too stimulating for some kids. Second, bathing them everyday is actually too drying for their skin. Third, if you ever can't do the bath because of lack of time, it might throw off bedtime. I do it a few times a week before the bedtime routine.

As far as feeding goes, I would definitely feed after the bath. All the jostling when undressing, bathing, drying and redressing makes the milk slosh around their tummies and could make him more likely to spit up (in my opinion). Also, feeding is more soothing than a bath.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches