Husband VERY Angry About Pregnancy

Please find you local abortion alternative crisis pregnancy clinic and bring husband in for counseling and someone to talk to. Thats what they are there for and what they are equiped to deal with. They generally don't push you to make a decision either way, to keep or abort. But its someone to talk to. And yes, they are also equiped to deal with husbands too.

No advice regarding your husband but I am so sorry. Please accept my huge hug sent your way.

Oh for eff's sake, he needs to man up and deal with it. You were trying to conceive for what, a year and a half? when he suddenly announced it was time to stop. Very shortly after that you find out you're pregnant. Does he not understand how things work? Does he not understand the timing of when pregnancy occurs and when you find out that you're pregnant? Does he not understand fertility at all?

He can stick his claim of feeling "betrayed" and find something more productive to do. He can grow up. There is no "fault" here. You decide to have sex, babies can happen. Facts of life.

PLEASE do not terminate your pregnancy! The baby is not the problem! Your husband has some issues to work out. When I had my little girl, I would often let her sleep in our bed while she was still only a few months old, until my husband blew a gasket. "Can't she have her own bed?!" He said, none too kindly. He wanted time alone with me and I did not take the hints. Your husband may feel the kids are taking his place. Perhaps you can arrange for more time out together. Try to make him feel special. I know he is angry right now, but when he cools down, talk it out with him. Do not let this tempt you into killing your little one. You can't ever undo an abortion. It will haunt you the rest of your life!

First - he needs to schedule an appointment for a vasectomy. You can offer to help him and he'll never be 'tricked' again.
Second - if you want this pregnancy don't even give him the option that you'll terminate it. You both were trying for a long time and although it didn't happen when you thought it would, ultimately you were successful. What would have been difference had you gotten pregnant last year vs this year?
Third - counseling for him would be great, but it would be good for you too. Get it separately if he won't do it together. He's jerking you around here and you should not feel so desperate over his threats of leaving. If you really think about it - it could be a good thing. It's not the end of the world and there are worse things that could happen. Being alone is a heck of a lot better than wishing you were. Not to mention the stress on you and your baby is not good for either of you.

Sounds like he is aware that the problem is him, not you. Let him do his solitary counseling. Pursue some for yourself as well. See what happens. Good luck.

Updated

Sounds like he is aware that the problem is him, not you. Let him do his solitary counseling. Pursue some for yourself as well. See what happens. Good luck.

Give me a break. He needs a figurative, and maybe a literal kick in the A$$. Tell him to buck up or get out.

Yes, HE needs to go to counseling.

What changed between the time you were TTC and that positive pregnancy test? How much time had actually elapsed? Something doesn't add up with his reaction...

I'm so sorry. I hope you find the strength to do what feels best in your heart, no matter which way that takes you. HUGS!!

Well 1st - he obviously was not to careful about making sure you all do not conceive a child! He needs to grow up and except responsibility for his actions!
My opinion- if he is unhappy, he needs to deal with that! You have children to raise and a baby on the way! This is not the babies fault, you all made choices that led to this point!
I can understand what you are going thru a little bit because, we have 1 son, we had problems getting pregnant then a terrible pregnancy that was full of problems and worries! My husband has made it very clear that he does not want anymore children, I have made it clear that I want 1 more. My MD has said without fertility this is very unlikely, however one can hope rigth? So i do not take birth control, my husband knows this, he chooses not to use any protection, we use the good ole pull and pray method, only we pray for different things!! Awhile back I thougth I was pregnant and i thought my husband was gonna lose his mind! We got thru it!
Bottom line you guys will to! Just remember God never hands you more then what you can handle! Good luck!

I know you have an appt with a counselor, but in the meantime, you might want to talk to someone at a Crisis Pregnancy Center. Look online or in your phone directory. Most areas have at least one. These centers are not just for unwed teenagers and college students. They actually help ALOT of married women like you with husbands who are antagonistic or indifferent to the pregnancy. I bet you find a listening ear and some help dealing with your situation. You are not alone. I have cared for many women in my clinic over the years that were exactly in your shoes. It's tempting for you to think that if you weren't pregnant there wouldn't be any problems between you and your husband. It's just not true. Problems were there before the pregnancy, it's just that they are evident now. Please protect your baby and encourage you husband to get help. Please don't make any life changing decisions just yet. I'm so sorry. Hugs. Midwife Mommy

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I guess I'm a bit confused because ya'll were trying but gave up trying but now you are pregnant? He was willing to try before and now all of the sudden he's upset because you are pregnant? I just don't understand how he can go from trying on minute and then get upset about you getting pregnant even after ya'll stopped trying.

With that said, please don't terminate the pregnancy out of anger or frustration. You are creating a wonderful little life that is obviously meant to be. Give your husband some time. Let him go to counseling on his own if that's what he insists on. Then maybe over some time, he'll agree to go to counseling together.

If it comes to it that ya'lls marriage isn't going to work out, don't despair about having this child. Many people do it on their own. While it's a bit harder (I know, I was as a single parent for several years) it's not impossible.

Hang in there mama. Everything will work out one way or another. Take care of yourself and congratulations on this new little life that is growing.

I would let him go to counseling by himself but also make an appointment for your self. At some point in the future your hubby's therapist may want to have some joint sessions. If you are both at the same clinic, maybe different people, but still, you need someone who is in your corner who will help you deal with the coming changes in your life...the new baby, possibly no hubby to help, he may come out of therapy a different person too.

M., I am so sorry for you!! Hopefully he is just in shock, and his anger will wear off and he will be apologetic for the hurtful things he has said to you. It takes two for a pregnancy to happen so THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! (Not that I think your pregnancy is a "fault", because it's not.) I really hope you don't chose to terminate. I wish I could give you a big hug! Hang in there!

Just remember that HIS anger is NOT YOUR fault. Encourage him with the counseling.

I am very sorry for your situation. I just wanted to give you my two thoughts on this:
I am pro-choice, so if a woman truly feels like carrying an unexpected child to term is not an option for her, I think that terminating the pregnancy should be an option. BUT, if you are considering this, you have to make sure you are honest with yourself. There is a Planned Parenhood in Fond Du Lac, you may want to consider giving them a call and see if they can refer you to somewhere closer, if you are truly considering this.
There is obviously something else that this pregnancy going on here, your husband even admitted to this. Terminating this pregnancy would not fix your marriage, take that into consideration.

It is very positive that he wants to get counseling by himself, I encourage you to do the same. He may need to go by himself for a while before he is ready to get marriage counseling.

The other thing I have to emphasize for you: do not even for one minute believe that this is somehow your fault, no matter what he tells you about feeling betrayed and whatnot. He is an adult, a grown man who knows how it works. If he was so adamant about not having any more children, he could have taken steps to protect himself. I assume here that he knew that you were not on contraceptives, AND EVEN IF YOU HAD BEEN he has the same responsibility as you did to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. It takes two to tango and both, man and woman, need to take measures to protect themselves if they are so adamant that they don't want kids. Birth control fails, people make mistakes - this is a shared responsibility, not a situation in which one party takes all of the blame.
Good luck.

It takes two to make a baby. He needs to remember his responsiblity in all of this. I would separate myself from him for a couple of days. You need a breather, and so does he. Both of you need some time to process all of this. You both have been given a gift, as you both were trying for a year to get pregnant. Now you have this blessing. His anger could be fear, disbelief, and shock. He is right, he needs to figure himself out. Let him have counseling. At some point, I am sure the counselor will discuss the importance of having you there to talk about this situation. But, seriously, I would take some time off .

What an awful situation you are facing! I hope in time he comes to understand that you both made this baby & it was in fact an "accident". Do get the counseling-even if he refused. Good luck to you..prayers.

IMO opnion he has more going on then he is letting on. To go from lets try for the last year~to being so upset. Dont discourage any counseling he is open to. If he is depressed or hitting a mid life crisis, talking to a counselor will help him figure it out. AND that may lead to couples sessions later. I am hope he isnt packing his things and making a run for it. You must be feeling like the whole world just shifted under your feet and you can't catch your balance...hugs to you.

There is a lot going on here and I have a feeling he is not sharing it all with you.

If he absolutely will not go to counseling with you or on his own, then you go alone. You need a professional to help you work through all of this. That person will help you learn some ways to talk WITH your husband. And ways to find out exactly what is going on in your marriage.

I am sorry you feel so alone. Reach out to family and friends. this is one of those times that you both need to listen very carefully to each other, before you can find a solution.

Always follow your heart and brain then, NO REGRETS.

yeah, he needs to stick by you, hes acting like a baby. I hope you let him read your responses here.