How to Tell 2 Year-old About New Baby

Just exactly how far apart will they be? My grand-daughter had #2 when @1 was 3. They told her from the beginning about the coming baby, they waited until they knew it would be a boy so they could tell her exactly what it would be. When movement started, she was allowed to feel the baby move. She even talked to him, "..quit kicking my Mom!". She went to the hospital the day he was born. She loves him dearly because he wasn't just sprung on her.

Congratulation!!! I too have a a two year old son and another son due here in April. My little guy doesn't quite understand that he is going to be a big brother. I have started telling him things like: This blanket is for baby Dillion, or these bottles are for baby Dillion, and he will repeat it and remeber that is for baby Dillion. If we ask him where baby dillion is he will hug and kiss my belly and say I love baby Dillion. So you can do those kind of things but I think two years is still young for them to understand they are going to be a big brother. They can however beging to help you do things and know it is for the baby.
Congratulations again!!!

B.
Stay at home mom
www.MoreForMyBaby.com

I have friends going through this same thing right now, and all of them have done a wonderful job. Make sure that you lavish attention on your son, so that he knows Mama won't be so excited about the new baby that he's forgotten. Tell your son that the baby will be his, let him help with things as time progresses like setting up the nursery, choosing clothes/bottles/toys for the new baby to give to him/her when he/she arrives. All these things can help.
Congratulations and good luck!

Definitely wait until you are further along before you say anything. My daughter was two when I got pregnant with my son. There really isn't anything you can say or do that prepares them for this event. They don't realize how much things will change for them until the baby is there. It's a great idea to get books about being a big brother, let him help with picking things for the nursery. Have him as involved as he can be at two years old. The hardest part will be once the baby is home. The main thing is to spend as much time as you can with your son after the baby comes home. Let him help with the baby by bringing you diapers, blankies, binkies, whatever he can help with encourage it. Tell him how important being a big brother is and that he will always be your first baby. Make sure that you and your husband each make an effort to spend some one on one time with your son, everyday if possible even if it's just 15 minutes. Be patient with his adjusting to the baby...my son was 2 before my daughter finally gave up asking me to put him back in my tummy. Remember, you're going to have 9 months to get used to the idea but his life will change completely over night. Goodluck and God Bless you and your family!

Wait for awhile to tell your 2 year old. When you start showing is soon enough. Remember he will be asking when will the baby come all the time. Also there are books that you can read to him about a new baby. All this should wait till you are closer to having the baby. Be sure at that time to have your child feel the baby move this will add to the excitement and let it become more real.

Congratulations to you and your family, A.! I know this is a very exciting time. You have already received some excellent advice!

My girls are 18 months apart and the third came along 20 months later. I found the more involved you allow them to be the less animosity they feel. I gave my 1st daughter a baby and we did everything together with our new babies. When it was bath time we both bathed are babies, fed them, changed them, rocked them, and put them night night together. This really allowed her to feel more involved. You could see the pleasure on her face when she was being a "big girl" and helping mommy with the baby. By all means, when appropriate let your son help with the new baby. If he doesn't seem interested, let him do something special with dad while you tend to the baby. This helps let him know that he is still special too. Of course, this works both ways, if you have something special you do together at bedtime, bath time, etc. make sure you continue and have someone else take the baby so you keep that "special time" with your son.

Also, I highly recommend that after the new bundle of joy arrives you request all visitors to acknowledge your son first (eventhough, they are anxious to see the baby) and if they bring gifts have them bring a little something for your son too. This helped tremendously when my 2nd daughter arrived and worked just as well when number 3 came along. As a back up, I always kept a few small things stocked in the closet, set up in gift bags to give to the other kids just in case someone forgot or it just wasn't in their budget! I wish you and your family all best! God Bless!

J. F.
The MOM Team
http://www.4MeAndMom.com

My oldest was almost 2 when we found out we were expecting her little sister. I actually had her tell her dad after I got the positive result--it was pretty cute--but after that I didn't say much about it until I really started to show. At that point I went out and got every children's book on becoming a 'big' that I could find, and read them to her over and over. I seem to remember there was one written by Mister Rogers that was really awesome...I could see the wheels turning in my 2-year-old's mind as I read it to her. It went into a lot of detail, about how sometimes you feel left out or like no one is paying attention to you when the baby comes home. It really seemed to help her prepare for the baby's arrival. After the baby was born we had absolutely no problems with jealousy or anything like that--she has always been a great big sister (until recently, but she just turned 12, so I think it's normal for her start seeing her little sister as 'annoying'!). Congratulations and best of luck to you!

Congratulations!! This is an exciting time for all involved. To be honest, I dont think I would say much until you are further along. Children have a hard time with the concept of time and week is a LONG time for any child. Eight or nine months is unfathomable. When you do get closer to your delivery date, the suggestions you have already received are wonderful! Im sure you will do what is right for your son! God bless your family!

Congratulations! Such an exciting time for all of you!
Yes, I would wait just a little bit longer.

In the meantime you and your husband could take turns playing baby with a stuffed animal or doll. Pretend to feed the baby, burp the baby. Change the baby. Have your child do the same thing.

I would also suggest you get some books about being a big brother. Read them to your son, Have your husband speak with your son about the baby.

When you start setting up the cradle make sure there is some way your son can help pick out a blanket or a special lovey.

Place the infant car seat in the car a month before the baby is expected, so your son can get excited that it will soon be filled with his sibling.

If you have any friends with a new infant, see if your child can spend a little time with the family to see how it all works.

Another thing that will help is to have your child cared for by the person that will be caring for him once you are giving birth. This way he will not see a difference when you and your husband are occupied with the birth.

I had a similar situation: #1 is 2 years 51 weeks older than #2. We waited until I was past 12 weeks (I thought explaining a miscarriage would be harder than waiting) and asked if he would like a brother or a sister. I had an old Cabbage Patch premi that we swaddled and took turns carrying, changing diapers, etc.

When #2 came he was super excited! Since I had a midwife assisted birth my son was able to come in within minutes of our new arrival. He crawled into bed and loved on all of us, it was fabulous.

I think 3 years is a really good span between kiddos, it's not too soon it's not too far apart. When questions are asked, answer them. And when baby gets here make sure you keep #1 invovled with the baby (holding, feeding- if you bottle feed, changing diapers, etc.) If he feels included you shouldn't have a problem! Good luck and best wishes!

p.s. I had a 4D ultrasound at about 34 weeks and was able to frame a face picture of the new baby for #1 to see. Since it is such a good likeness, he was able to know what she would look like when she got here and I think that helped make the whole thing real.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Just tell your son that he is going to be a big brother because mommy is going to have another baby. It's just that simple.

You've gotten great suggestions so far, but I wanted to add one more.
My kids are about the same age spread and when I was pregnant with my second, anytime we went anywhere and saw a pregnant woman, we would talk about it. "Look, honey, that mommy has a baby in her belly. I have a baby in my belly too, but mine is tiney-tiny." That kind of thing.

One other thing, as we got closer, at bedtime I started telling her the story of the night she was born. Just the things we were doing when I went into labor and who visited us at the hospital, etc. And then we would talk about what was going to happen when her little brother would be born.

Congrats!! We're in the same boat :) I've been wondering the same thing!! I think that so long as we include them in on conversations & acting like it's an everyday part of life, that is important. Much of the time by my letting my son know the 'plan' for the day, nothing is a surprise to him. When they know what to expect, it's easier, altho this thing will come home from the hospital at some point ;) I think the inclusion part is what is critical, not just paying attention to the baby when he/she gets here! I'll pray for us both!

Hi A.-

I agree with the advice you've received so far but wanted to share a funny story about my son. When he was 23 months old his sister was born. For months ahead of the event we had talked about her, played with dolls, got him situated in his "big boy" room, anything and everything that we could think of to prepare him. He was so excited about meeting "Baby Paige" before she was born. The day after she was born, my husband went home from the hospital to pick him up and bring him in to meet her. The whole way to the hospital and through the hall to my room he was saying "No Baby Paige, No Baby Paige!". He arrived in my room, took one quick look at me holding the baby and ran for the door. Even now when they fight (they are 7 and 5) my husband and I look at each other, laugh, and say "No Baby Paige!".

Good luck with everything, I'm sure he'll do just fine....

K.

Wait. They have no concept of time yet so even if you wait until you are starting to show- he's not going to feel left out. My oldest was 2 1/2 when I got pregnant the 2nd time - we told him and he didn't seem to comprehend. I ended up miscarrying- we knew there might be some complications from the start so it wasn't a huge surprise/trauma- and I realized after I actually did have a second baby- almost 2 years later!- that I had never told him we weren't having the first baby. He must have thought it was the longest pregnancy on record- or most likely he never gave it another thought. He's 17 now and I asked him about it last year and he doesn't remember a thing about being told there was a baby coming. So don't fret too much. Wait until you show a bit so there is something tangible for your son to see-otherwise he may just end up confused. Also- I told my son that the baby was in my belly and when it came close time to having my second - he asked me if I was going to throw up the baby. He figured that was the only way it could get out of my stomach. So maybe be a little more specific about where that baby actually is inside you!
Good luck!

Congratulations! 2 year olds don't understand that concept yet. And when he does, he WILL be jealous. There's a wonderful story explaining how the first baby feels when you tell him about the new addition. Imagine you're a newlywed, in love with your husband and very happy. One day he comes home and says "I have great news, we're getting a new wife in the house. I'm so happy with you, I decided to add to the family. Now she'll younger and cuter than you, so she'll get more attention and more of my time. Aren't you excited! And here's a box of candy to celebrate!" That's pretty much how a 2 year old will react to the news, alas. They're the center of their own universe, and suddenly you're asking them to share.
All that said, you can start when you start to show, explaining that a baby is growing, and will come to be a little brother or sister. You can play up the fun they'll have together, and keep reassuring that he's just as wonderful as he ever was. Any changes; moving out of the crib to a big bed, toilet training, etc., should happen months before or after the big event.
Good Luck!

congradulations!! When we found out we were having number 2 and 3 we didnt tell the other boy(s) till I was in my 3rd month. We wanted to make sure everything would be ok.

Wait until your past the 1st trimeseter, there will be several months ahead. I'm not trying to rain on your parade. I just know from a friends experience that it can be difficult to explain loss to a toddler.
In the meantime go to the library, and find books & videos to help. It's alot easier with help.

Mine are 20 months apart and honestly I didn't talk a lot about it until a few weeks before the baby got here. He kissed my tummy and felt the baby kick and went to a diaper shower, but a 2 year old can only stay excited for so long before it becomes frustrating waiting. You can't prepare them for the big change like you can an older one. I spent a lot of time telling him how much his sister loves him and needs him after she got here and they are very VERY bonded now 4 & 2.5. Congrats!