How to Get a 12-Month Old to Take a Bath (Screams and Shrieks in Water)

Updated on August 29, 2008
J.A. asks from Denver, CO
28 answers

For some reason, my kiddo is deathly afraid of water - we put him in just a couple of inches of it in the bathtub and he screams and cries because he's genuinely frightened out of his mind....due to this, we've generally given him sponge baths over the past year, but I figure it's time to get the kid to the point where he's not afraid of water....any suggestions? We've never put him in hot water, so he can't be terrified due to a past experience....everyone has told us to "just do it" and he'll get used to it, but so far that hasn't worked and I hate hearing him so scared and upset. Anyone had this problem and tried anything that worked? Thanks for your help.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for all the ideas. Most of you suggested that I get in the tub with him and join him for the bath - I should have mentioned that I've already done that (as a matter of fact, I've ALWAYS done that). Nonetheless, many of you have some really neat ideas that I"ll be sure to try, and I'll follow up in a week or so and let you know whether/how the ideas work. Thanks again to everyone. This website is a great resource!!

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

When I was a Nanny, there was a little girl (two) who was afraid of the water. What I did was put a small bucket in the tub filled with water. Then I put her toys in there with the water and let her play. I used a wash cloth to bathe her. We let her hair just be dampened with water from a spray bottle at first.

Slowly over the next two weeks I put her in the small tub and let her play with her toys, with no water in the bucket.

Then, over the next week, I put a little water in the big tub and let her sit in the empty, except for toys, small tub. After another week, we moved her into the big tub and from then on it was easy. We had to be really careful withh her hair. It was short. But she didn't like water in her face or eyes. It took me less than a month to get her to take a bath or shower and it was well worth it. Good Luck!!!!!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Boise on

My son did the same thing for a while. What worked for us was for me to get into the bath with him and ask him to sit in my lap. Once he was used to this (it took a few months and he had to be cajoled each time) he finally began sitting in the bath on his own. Lots of fun bath toys definitely help distract him! He still reverts now and then, but he has made so much progress!

R.C.

answers from Denver on

Maybe put on a bathing suit and get in the bath with him until he is not scared anymore. Have him pick out some bath toys that he only gets to play with in the bath so might help calm him and make him look forward to bath time.

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C.N.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like my son years ago. Buy a blow up boat that you can put in the bath tub or anything else that is rather small and that will help him feel he is snuggled in a bit and fill that with water as well as the bath tub. Try doing it without him there. Get some bath toys he would really like. Put them in first and get him distracted holding him while playing with "his" new toys then slowly put him in and keep a strong hand behind his back to make him feel he is still in contact with you.
Start with a tiny bit of water almost not enough to fill the bottom of the bath tub and then gradually each day fill up a bit more.

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B.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you tried holding him in the shower? My little one has been in the shower to get clean pretty much his whole life, but I can't do that by myself and when I had to bathe him he reacted the same way yours is. He LOVES getting in the shower, though, and FINALLY is over his fear of water! At least as far as the swimming pool goes.... He tried to jump in!

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D.W.

answers from Boise on

Have you tried getting in with him, or swimming in a little pool in the backyard (with him). Make it fun with toys, etc.

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Just get in with him. Easy.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

Take him at least to watch the swim lessons and work on getting him wet. Start with a cup, then a pitcher, then a bucket. Take it easy, the sponge baths aren't hurting him at all. I will pray for your son.

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E.G.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi J., have you tried to put him in with you for the bath or with dad, that way he can just sort of sit with you or even on your lap to get used to it. Hope you can figure out something that will work. Liz

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K.N.

answers from Denver on

I agree with all the other good ideas on here! Definitely try getting into the tub with your little guy though. It can be fun for both of you. Maybe just sit in the tub with him with no water and then next time fill it with water and bathe with him. Our little guy has loved the seat that the other Mom suggested that goes over the side. But honestly he is getting to old for it and your baby is too. But if your situation is that extreme he might feel more closed in and it could work against you. Take it slow a little at a time.I feel for you; this is a tough one. My son loves the water so I've never had to deal with this. I guess you just have to try everything unitl something works. Good luck J.!

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K.W.

answers from Boise on

My kids love to use bathtub paints and bathtub crayons to draw on the sides of the tub and then wash the off with a little water and a washcloth. And, there's always the old standby: bubble bath! Good luck.

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

Take a bath or shower with him. Make it fun. Sing songs. Play games. Have special bath toys. Get bath paint. Is it the sound of the running bath water that scares him? If so, run the bath water when he's not in there. Let him give you a bath. Or let him give his favorite toys a bath. Is the air cold? Make sure the air is warm, too. Use bubble bath. Blow bubbles in the tub. I wouldn't force the issue because it will only increase his fears. Keep giving sponge baths. There's no law or rule saying when a kid has to take a bath. This will pass.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Get a smallish plastic dishpan (look at the Dollar stores). Fill it half way with lukewarm water and put some floaty toys in. Maybe a bit of gentle dishsoap to give it some bubbles. Let him watch you play in the water for a bit, he'll probably get interested.
Give him many opportunities to play this way, then move the play to the tub. Enough water for him to reach, some bubbles, and fun toys. Let him play from outside the tub. Again lots of chances to do this. He will begin to associate the water and the tub with fun and loose his fear. You can gradually introduce him to being in the tub (empty with toys at first) until he gets used to the idea. You may find him trying to climb in with clothes on!!
One note .... never leave him alone with the water, even with a dishpan, it only takes a moment and kids can drown in an inch of water.

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K.H.

answers from Casper on

My little sister was afraid of the water as an infant...any and ALL water! There were 8 years between her and I and the only way we could get her in the tub was with me. Try taking baths with your baby...with a few water safe toys that you can play with together and he can see that the tub is safe and fun...if you are willing to do it WITH him. You can also try getting into the tub WITHOUT water and playing together before you try WITH water. Make sure if you bathe together that you have towels in reach or someone to pass baby to when you are done, since wet babies are VERY slippery...especially if you are wet too! PS...My sister DID out grow it!

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C.K.

answers from Denver on

Get in the tub with him and make sure you have a slip-resistant tub mat. He may be afraid of falling...this worked with my son.

S.K.

answers from Denver on

Have you tried to get in with him? Or take him swimming to get used to the water? Or maybe holding him in the shower (although they sure are slippery) I would try the parent-tot swim lessons at the rec center it might take a few tries but they get the kids used to the water so it doesnt seem so scary. This could eliminate the bathtime fear. Im sure you've tried toys and distractions. My little nephew hated water for the longest time, he does better but still not one to want to go swimming or get wet. Do you tense up because you know its going to be a horrible 5 minutes? I say either try to get in with them to see if its okay (wear your swimsuit if you feel odd about it) or just try to ease him into it. try to get him thinking its a play time, don't actually wash him a few times, let him splash around maybe take a wet rag and let him chew on it if he will. Then gradually go to fully washing him.

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S.S.

answers from Pocatello on

Get in the tub with your baby. The half hour I get with just mine splashing is my favorite part of bedtime.

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R.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Have you taken him to a swimming pool? My little girl would not lay down for a long time (because she didn't want to get water in her ears). Then we took her to the pool and she as scared at first but realized I didn't want her to lay down and we played the whole time. Each time at the pool she got braver and braver until now where she love to take a bath.
Hope this helps. Good luck

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A.G.

answers from Missoula on

We started bathing our kids in the kitchen sink. Put in a few toys and let them play a minute or two.
Then I put them in the tub with floaty toys sitting IN a small laundry basket. They feel more secure because the toys don't float away. They can hang onto the sides if they want to. You can even set them on a towel to feel more secure.
Of course, You still NEVER leave them alone. I would let them play, sometimes sing to them or tell a story. Start with just minute or two then work up to maybe 10 minutes if they like it.
As mine got older they liked to play in the tub for relaxing time. My 10 year old will still take a bath with tub toys when she wants alone time or she has been stressed. A funnel and some empty shampoo bottles keep her busy.
I have also given mine a popsicle in the dry tub, especially if they are teething, have a slight fever, or for a cool summer treat. Less mess and easy to clean up.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

have you or your husband taken a bath with him? sometimes being that close gives you child a sense of security.

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J.L.

answers from Pocatello on

My daughter went through a phase like this when she was the same age, and she had loved her baths before that. I used to put on a swim suit and get in with her. It really helped a lot. Her aunt also got her a really fun bath pirate ship with people, treasure chests, etc. These two things combined with patience really helped and after a few weeks she loved her bath again, without me in the tub.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Go get a bath seat, one that suctions to the bottom of the tub, it helps them feel a lot more secure, sitting upright and with something around them. Fill it with bubbles, get some fun bath crayons so he can scribble on the walls to distract him. I agree with continuing it so you aren't enabling his fears, he has to trust you at some point enough to know you aren't putting in harms way. Always make it a positive, singing, talking a silly voice. If he has fun toys that are bath friendly dump them in, my son LOVED washing his cars in the tub while taking a bath.
The bath seat was a saver for my daughter who also had fears of this huge scary tub and the water over her head. Once I go the seat she quickly splashed and begged to take a bath.
Just have to be right there so if the suctions come loose or anything.
Give it some time. Another thing I did was have my daughter sit with me on a bath mat with Elmo on it while I showered, she didn't care for the shower hitting her directly but I could get her clean and take a shower at the same time and it helped some.
Hang in there, it is a phase and will pass, even getting in the tub with your swim suit on with him and holding him will help him feel secure.
Repetition and constant exposure to something new and scary will help ease his fears...

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I haven't had this problem, but I wonder if it would help if you let him play in a dry tub? Try it in just his diaper. Then ease him into it by putting a small container of water in it with him, with measuring cups, old salad dressing bottles, plastic spice bottles, containers, etc. to scoop and dump the water. I actually let my boys do that in the summer time, just to play in the water (or I did before we had a yard and sprinkler and a park with a splash pad!)
I agree that a seat might help, although they are generally for smaller kids. I only had a seat for one of my boys, though, and he's a big, big kid.
What have you been sponge-bathing him in? If you have a small baby tub, can you put that in the big bath tub to help transition him? And do you put some water in it, or just have a wet sponge or wash cloth? I might be able to just add a little bit of water to the bottom, and more the next time, etc.
I'm sure you've tried some of those already; I'm just brainstorming about what I might do. good luck!

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O.L.

answers from Denver on

When my DS1 was a baby he hated the bath. We got a plastic bathtub that's an infant-toddler type (it fit him 'til he was at least 2) and has something for him to lean back against. (We'd tried a tub that was just a small tub and he hated that one.) Just having the secure feeling of something against his back made all the difference in the world for him!

And once we did that, we showed him how to splash with his hands and generally play. Soon he *loved* his baths.

Best of luck!

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M.S.

answers from Missoula on

My son was like that at first too. We started out by taking baths with him and then we found this little bath seat clips to the tub. The seat definately made him feel more secure. It also help to involve them when getting the bath ready. I alway ask my son to grab his bath toys and i let him throw the toys in while i run the water. Now he loves baths and throws a fit when we make him get out. Just show him how fun it is and don't get discouraged because it might take some time for him to get used to the idea. Hope this helps.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

have you tried putting him in the shower with dad with a shower visor on? the water doesn't collect around their feet as much and the visor keeps the water out of their face. if he is ok with that, you can give him the plug and let him be in charge of if and when the water gets plugged and starts to fill the tub.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Try a blow-up pool outside with toys in it, but no water. Start putting water in it a little at a time splashing with him. Then put the little pool in the tub and fill it up! Let him splash you in the face if he wants, then gently splash him while laughing and he'll get the idea that it's fun to play in water. Just keep with it, or you'll be teaching him to be more scared. Make it fun for him, and let him see YOU having fun. Get in the tub with him and show him how much you love it. It may take some time, but if you're consistent, he will be ok!

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R.A.

answers from Provo on

My first went through that exact thing. Hated baths, hated the water, would just scream till he was clean and we pulled him out. Then my husband started playing with the water. Took a cupful raised it up and poured it back in the bath. My son thought it was so funny and has loved the bath ever since. So try making it fun. Get some fun toys, do bubbles in the bath. You can either do bubble bath or actually blow bubbles, and for blowing bubbles you can get a bubble blower so you don't have to actually blow them yourself. Or you can do both bubble bath and blow bubbles.

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