How to Approach a Principal to Move My Daughter into a Different Classroom?

Updated on September 04, 2008
J.D. asks from San Jose, CA
9 answers

My daughter is in 3rd grade and has been saying she's bored in class, not learning anything, doing "baby" math and the teacher reads "baby" books to the class. My daughter isn't used to doing 3 pages of homework a week, not even a day. The years before, she was happy and challenged but this year is way different and it's only been the first week of school.
I am worried because this year the STAR testing is done completely by themselves. I can't wait until the end of the year to find out my daughter was hardly pushed. I emailed the principal requesting a new teacher but he doesn't want to and wants me to give her a chance since she's been through special training over the summer. So I set up a meeting with him next Wednesday because I feel my daughter needs to move quickly before she doesn't want to go to school anymore. In the meantime I've spoken to other parents and teachers who agree with me, "put her into another classroom." All the teachers and other parents who either know the teacher or had a child in the teacher's class, do not have anything good to say about her. I'm really worried now.
So I really need advice on how to approach the principal when he's insisted I "try" this teacher or give her a chance. I don't want to rub him the wrong way since he's only been at the school for a year.
Thank you in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice, insight and upfront criticism. Parents (mostly my friends) and teachers (who've taught my other two) have approached me for their concern for my daughter. All of whom had the teacher in the past or have dealt directly with the teacher. I spoke with the teacher 3 times now and after putting me off twice for her teacher lesson plan or class curriculum, she told me "her laptop was stolen and it was in there and not backed up." Asking what she will do now? She said she has another laptop on order and will try to remember her lessons. Meanwhile my daughter has brought home the weekly homework packet of 4 pages and paper that isn't the standard lined paper for spelling words. It's twice the height between lines with dotted lines in the middle, like the ones in kindergarten.
I meet with the principal this afternoon.

More Answers

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S.E.

answers from San Francisco on

J.,

As a teacher, I'm going to suggest that you talk to the teacher. If you haven't spoken to her, you haven't been fair, nor have you expressed your daughter's needs or helped her express her feelings.

Has your daughter spoken to the teacher about not feeling challenged? Does she complete the classwork quickly and accurately? Is she SHOWING the teacher the work is too easy for her? Showing is the best way for a teacher to know, if you're not telling.

I teach 4th Gr. and I expect my students to talk to me about their issues, problems, struggles, joys, etc. They do. I realize they are a year older, but if your child is truly bored, maybe she could speak to the teacher about not feeling challenged.

About reading "baby" books, while I teach 4th Grade (Gifted classes in a school for only gifted students), I often read picture books to my students. In fact, last year I read Carl Goes to Daycare to 40 gifted 9-11 year olds. This was a lesson about details and perspective. It was also a lesson about how we expect more of them as writers as they grow (I read my 3 year old daughters version of the story, which was quite eloquent if I say so myself.). We then followed up the lesson by reading The Arrival, another picture/graphic book, for the writing assignment (put words to the pages/pictures). The teacher could be doing an author study (Patricia Pollacco is great for that.), providing background knowledge, teaching mini lessons that will serve them through out the year in Readers' Workshop, etc. Any number of reasons for the books she's reading. Did you ask?

At a minimum, you NEED to talk to the teacher. Stop talking about the teacher to parents and other teachers. It just stirs up a pot of bees. As my daughter witnessed last year, the one who stirs up the bees doesn't always get stung;sometimes it's the innocent by-stander.

Talk to the teacher.
Stephanie

2 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.. :)

Your predicament is not an easy one. And, it is not a new one. I am certain the principal has heard it/similar concerns before in regard to this teacher, another teacher or even himself when active in a classroom. The basic concern you are communicating is the teacher is not doing the job you think they should be doing.

As in any relationship, one must take in the other person's perspective as fully as possible before they lodge a complaint and/or request a change. If you do not do this first, you will not have found your 'soft spot' of understanding, empathy, concern, etc. from the other side as quickly as you'd like because you have not afforded that person, in this case, persons, the same courtesy and respect. My point - both the principal and the teacher have their own styles, agendas, history (professional and personal), they 'bring to the table'. Take a moment to understand what those things may be and you'll relate better, i.e., "It must be difficult getting just the right balance of teachers' skills and interests with the students' attention spans and abilities Mr. X....I'm interested in the special training Ms. Y had over the summer. Would you kindly tell me about it?"

If you do not make negative judgments on the principal's (or teacher's) intentions or abilities to handle the situation, you may find the principal more receptive to your concerns. However, this does not mean he will change your daughter's classroom. School officials are -always- reluctant to do that. Why? Because if they do it for you, the assignments they make would be scrutinized year after year by -everyone-. You'd then have chaos. If you don't acknowledge this to the principal you have not taken the time to appreciate (or show respect for) his position. Put yourself in his position...

My suggestion is you go in with an open mind. Hear what he has to say about how he is working with the teacher. Perhaps, she is trying to find the right pace for the classroom and hasn't discovered it yet. Who knows? Just because you were able to find other disgruntled parents does not mean she isn't a capable teacher. She might be. She might not be.

What I find most interesting, and most all parents, including myself, have done it - we go to the boss vs. the source. If you make it really difficult for the teacher, without having giving her a chance, trust me, the embarrassment factor will set in and you will have a rough time trying to make it right moving forward. Please remember you're all in it together and she's a real person with real feelings (and ego). If you alienate her without giving her any benefit of the doubt, you may regret it.

Last but not least, do not disrespect the teacher in front of your daughter. She needs to see the teacher as someone doing the best she can for the good of all the children. She needs to learn patience and tolerance while you work with the principal -and the teacher- on how best to keep your daughter engaged.

Think of the trek as 'let me tell you about my daughter and her needs' vs. 'the teacher is not good enough to be teaching my daughter' and your attitude will be more open and understanding. EVERYone will appreciate it (including you in the long run).

Good luck -- and congratulations on having an intune relationship with your daughter so you know there's a concern to be addressed!

1 mom found this helpful
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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I just caught that you are a SAHM.... VOLUNTEER! I volunteer in my daughter's classroom, and I can tell that they are just doing their intake "inventories" right now. While I am doing busy work at the back of the room, I find out what is really happening. And check out the math text book....

For example, my daughter did this all summer
http://epgy.stanford.edu/district/
so I could tell the math test the teacher just gave is all material my daughter should know, well... my first grader might not be strong in money. I explained to the teacher EPGY thinks my daughter is working at level 1.8 and I would really like independant confirmation of that. (I haven't been sure it's soaking in as it moves fast. I have been thinking of resetting the software to review first grade.) Since I have been doing a lot of work in the classroom (goodwill) and have a specific tangible request (review data) she is going to let me see the results of my daughter's test.

I had a hard time figuring out from your post if you suspect your daughter is working far above the 3.1 level, or if she just has a boring teacher. I would ask the teacher to use the tools they have (like AR reading and math, for example) to assess what academic level you daughter should be working at.

(For example, I know my daughter reads around 1.6, and am in a holding pattern for them to identify the rest of her reading group.)

Once you have the DATA, then you can meet with the teacher to come up with the PLAN (with timelines) to address the differentiated education your daughter needs. Principals are loathe to migrate students away from a "boring" teacher, and you need to be able to document the need, the gap, and how the teacher hasn't met the gap.

Also, if your daughter remembers the name of the "baby" book, you could look up the grade level (BL) at http://www.arbookfind.com/
It really may have been rated in the 3rd grade level. Or it could be your teacher thinks the other kids need to be eased into the school routine, and most of the kids had a summer setback.

if your child has been identified as gifted, there are a LOT more resources out there.
http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Nation_Deceived/

if she is a hard worker who is ahead of grade level (for example, the private school my daughter nearly went to works 1 grade above grade level - it's just their preschool is very academic. It sets all the kids to be working 1 grade ahead, which means public school would be beneath their current grade level.) you may have a harder battle, and may have to homeschool after school more.

if you get really desperate, you could do this
http://www.k12.com/cava/

honestly, I suppliment my daughter's public school education with math and reading at home. We have workbooks etc. We do a TON of science projects as she is WAY ahead of grade level for science. She also gets private music lessons etc. Some kids just need to be challenged at other places so it's relaxing at school ;-)

GOOD LUCK

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a teacher and a parent. In my 12 years in the classroom I've never met a teacher who didn't want every child to succeed. You have to stop listening to outsiders and get to know this teacher, she's doing her best to get to know your child. The first two weeks of school the teacher has placement exams in reading, writing, and math to administer to know where each child is academically. Then she adjusts the district adopted curriculum to teach your child the State standards.

My suggestions:
* Schedule a conference with the teacher -help her get to know you and your child by bringing in work samples from previous years, tell her about your child outside of school, discuss your concerns
* Differentiated homework - often students with special needs (low & high) need homework that is different from what others in the class are getting.
* Project based learning - students who get bored my be very interested in a subject, but not in the questions or information being covered. They can do projects, cover the standards, and be motivated because they create the outcome.
* Friends/Social Clubs - motivation and connectiveness to school can be influenced by a child's friends and social network. Try to involve your child in activities with classmates in and outside of school (scouts, sports, music, etc.)
* Stay positive - as hard as it is, stay positive and respectful. Your child will mirror your dislike for the teacher and will not feel connected with her. Student/teacher relationships can increase student achievement.

Your daughter's needs will be similar in any classroom, so give this one a chance. Work on the root of the problems and your daughter will be a happy young lady.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with the other moms. Please set up a meeting to talk to the teacher herself. It won't be helpful to gossip with other parents and teachers, and especially don't undermine the teacher by how you talk with your daughter. With it being just the very beginning of the school year, it's too soon to make judgements about how the whole year will go. (Isn't the first week supposed to be light to help the students transition back into the school routine and remember all they may have forgotten over the summer?) But it's definitely a good time to meet with the teacher to express your hopes and concerns for the year and hear what her teaching philosophies are. Best wishes with it all.

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

First, have you talked to her teacher about this? I have a friend, whose child is at a higher level than her peers, she has always talked to the teacher to work something out. Maybe the teacher can giver her more challenging work to supplement her regualr calss work. Like,say 5th grade work packets instead of just the 4th grade work packets. Maybe once you talk to the principal face to face and explain your fears he might under stand better....

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear J.,

A week is too soon to evaluate a teacher. Instead of complaining to the principal and stiring things up with the other parents, please meet with the teacher one on one and asked her/him to give your daughter extra work. If your child is that advanced, perhaps she should be tested. Maybe she's advanced enough to skip a grade, which could create a whole new set of problems, socially speaking.

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K.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear J.,
I feel for you, and in the same place believe I would be frustrated and worried. I can also understand the Principal's position that it is too early for "drastic measures".

We had a similar situation last year and it did eventually work out, though we had several meetings with the teacher and worked as a team to make sure our son was being stimulated and guided to work. If he thought the level was too low he wasn't interested so did not do the work to show he should be at a higher level.

You already have an appointment with the Principal. Perhaps you could ask for a set period for the settling in and establishment of a good working relationship - say one month. Within two weeks the teacher and students should have time to establish some relationships and some time for the teacher to evaluate the level of the students and start providing work appropriate to that level. If the vast majority of students are at a lower level then your daughter, and the teacher does not have the time or resources to provide more personalised work for her, then there will be a problem still and one that both the teacher and the Principal should be willing to address. After all a bored student often becomes a disruptive student.

You did not mention having discussed the issue with the teacher. My opinion - that is imperative. A short conference with parent, child, teacher and possibly Principal so that all understand the issues and have agreed on a plan can be really beneficial.

I wish you and your daughter luck with this issue. If you find yourself really stuck, no change in situation or class, then possibly consider a lot of out of school stimulating and learning activities so you daughter does not lose the love of learning and still has a fighting chance of keeping the academic level you both strive for. There are a lot of fun materials that can be use at home.

K.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J. ~
It sounds like she is the last child in your family. I see that you are a volunteer in the classroom as well as outside activities (good for you! and your little one!). YOU (and your husband) are the ONLY ones that can speak up on her behalf! If she is not "challenged" in class; she will lose interest. Ask to see the 'District Administrator' to see what can be done to change her class. IF THEY don't let you see/and or make an appointment with that person; let them know that "they" are REQUIRED "BY LAW" (I will get you the AB# to 'quote' to them) so that your daughter will get into the class that will challenge her!(Also, ask them for the name and address of their Attorney's name so that you may write him/her). AND let them know that you pay taxes in that district and that you are entitled to all the 'services' for 'that' school district!!! I did that when my little one was only 3 1/2 years old and he is now a Freshman in high school (doing extremely well!) But I kept on the District for all the services that they (should) offer!!! Keep in touch!

Lucy B.

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