How Much TV and Videogames?

Hi Page,
First off, we are a tv family. My kids are younger, so I still control what they watch. Before anyone else mentions it: my kids are healthy, not overweight and ahead of their peers in most modalities.

I don't set a number limit on tv watching. What I do is focus on responsibilities. First we need to do our chores, then we can do the fun things. For my daughter, one of her chores is homework. I'm trying to teach them that we all need to do things that keep our house running, including homework. Then, does it really matter if extra time is spent watching tv? Stay aware of what your kids are watching and sometimes watch with them.

Good luck!
P.S. Your daughter may have purchased the tv. Are you providing the cable/satellite?

You should talk to her and let her know what your rules are. Since she did buy it with her own money, let her know that she can keep it in her room but there needs to be a time limit. If she cannot follow that, then you will simply remove it from her room and she can earn it back. I know that my 11 and 8 year old do not have time for any TV. After school they have soccer practice and if they have homework they get it done before or after practice, depending on the day. Between that, dinner time and getting ready for bed, they maybe have 20 minutes of time where they can do nothing. Usually they choose to read, we all talk together, or they just relax before they fall asleep. They have a bedtime between 8-8:15 and are usually fast asleep by 8:30. I would suggest that it is a privelage to watch TV, and after all chores and homework are done, then she can have some TV time. But there needs to be a lights out time. Stay firm on it. And if she cannot follow the rules, take it completely out and she will have to earn it back. Our kids typically don't watch TV on weekdays, and we are busy with sports and church on the weekends so they rarely watch TV period. Good luck and stay firm

WE have a "no TV on school nights" rule, that we have been enforcing pretty well (ours is in 1st grade). She still asks for it, and I just remind her of the rule, and explain that homework and chores are mor important, and that she can watch cartoons on Sat morning. On the rare occations where I need to occupy her for 30 min (ie: on the phone with my mom finding out how grandma's surgery went) or i get hit with a bad migraine and need to lay down for a bit, I will let her pick a video to watch. When the 30 min (or given timeframe) is up, I tell her it is time to turn it off, and ask her to help me. Her catch phrase when something isnt fair, is "You get what you get, and you dont throw a fit" (I have no idea where it came from, Kinder maybe?).

On the weekends, she is allowed TV time and computer time, among other activities scheduled, but if she misbehaves or isnt listening, we take the privlege away. She will not have a TV in her room anytime soon.

We also have a TV is a priveledge rule in our family. The kids have to do chores first in order to earn TV/Computer time. Since we've started this, I have notice a huge differnce in my kids' attitude toward thier chores and TV. Often now they opt to play instead of automatically going for the TV. I personally would not let my kids have a TV in their room for the very same reason you stated in your post. I don't want them to isolate themselves by retreating to their rooms. She may have earned the money to buy the TV, but you ultimately are the one who provides for all of her needs-food, housing, clothes, etc at no real cost to her. So, when/if it comes down to it, anything she earns "on her own" is still yours. If you choose to allow her to use the money she earns to purchase something that's one thing, but if you don't approve of how she is spending the money then you have the right, and responsibility, to direct her choices. If you don't wont her to have unsupervised access to television, then take the TV out. You are the parent. We have another rule in our house- if you whine, then the answer is always no. Our job as parents isn't to raise "happy" kids by giving in to their every desire, it is to teach them to be live respectfully within limits and to be grateful and giving adults one day. That's where true joy and happiness is found.
I wish you good luck. I know that setting limits and keeping rules is often easier said than done. Just try to keep your eyes on the big picture. It's never too late to stand firm. It's OK if your kids don't like your rules, or get upset when you enforce them. It's how they learn to live within limits.

We don't allow TV in our childrens rooms. You should remove that TV from her room. Unsupervised television and computers are a very bad thing. In our house TV and gaming is earned. There is only 30mins a day if all chores are done. There are plenty of books she could be reading alone in her room instead of watching TV. Does she have cable hooked up? Who hooked it up? Is your husband able to enforce the rules where you cave? Caving on rules will only create monsters and will not teach them that in the future there will be rules they can't whine themselves out of.

Oh Page,
Your kids being bratty are better than 99% of other teenagers on their best day. Seriously. But that being said, I can feel your pain.

I remember one time when I got in trouble (I forget why) when I was probably 13 years old, and my dad's punishment for me was that I had to stay home from school and think about whatever it was that I had done. My secret plan was to watch TV all day. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the cable that went to the cable box was missing!

You could do a twist on that and say, after your homework is done and your chores are completed, you can watch x amount of tv (or video games). If you are having trouble getting them to comply... take their xbox cable, or the cable going to the tv. Hide the cables somewhere they will never look, like the dryer or the dishwasher!

Hi There Page~

I wouldn't allow a TV in a kid's room. Unfortunately, you let that purchase happen. I know it was her money, but I'm pretty sure I would have told my daughter...feel free to purchase a TV, but know that it will not go in your room and then she could choose something else. Or if she came home with it I'd tell her the same thing and she could opt to take it back. Since it's already done and you allowed it to happen, maybe you could offer to pay her back for the TV and then sell it on Craig's List. Maybe tell her that too much TV is interfering with other important responsibilities and family time. It should be a privilege and as long as her chores are done, homework is completed and everyone is respectful of everyone else (no attitude) then she can have maybe 30-45 minutes of screen time (video game, TV, computer). I use an egg timer and when it dings, then the electronic gets shut down. If every week things go smoothly, then she can earn more screen time for the weekend, but not too much more.

Given you don't cave. It's important to set your rules and stick to them otherwise all of this is fruitless. And they've probably learned to whine because they know if they do it enough you'll give in. So, start all over. Tell them whining is an automatic "no" and then stick to what you said you were going to do. I tell the kids in my house... you don't have to like it, but that's how it is. I'm not in the business of making sure the kids like my every decision... in fact, if they did, then I'm probably doing something wrong.

Good luck! Stick to you guns!!!

A.

My kids are younger. But when tv and videogames became a serious problem this summer I banned them both for two weeks. There was serious whining for about a day, then they found other ways to entertain themselves and seriously it was sooo nice. WE enjoyed that time immensely. Plus it helps to put things into perspective and you'll be more choosy when you do put Tv back on. Of course this means you have to ban yourself from it too, and that's pretty hard too, LOL. But they played more, read more, and went to bed TIRED. I loved it and the videogames haven't been back since. We're thinking about getting rid of cable, it was that nice (again, we do this every few years)