How Many People Actually Love Their Neighbors?

Updated on June 27, 2011
A.H. asks from Canton, OH
16 answers

We've been talking/thinking about moving because our house isn't big enough and the city is getting worse but we love our neighbors and our neighborhood. We've looked through other areas and there aren't any kids playing outside like we have now. I'm worried if we do move that our kids won't have anyone to play with. So do you comprise great neighrors/neighborhood for better schools?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the replies. We actually stopped at an Open House yesterday that is only about 5mins from our current house. It is in a better school district and we LOVED the house. And by looking at the other houses on the street, I would definately say it's a kid friendly neighborhood. Now, the only problem is, we haven't even put our house up for sale yet...LOL! Oh well, hopefully when we get a little more serious, we will find another perfect house like this one.

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K.L.

answers from Redding on

awww makes me sad,, I really like my neighbors. But the house is too small for them, things happening here are not what they want, they have family far away, hes not happy with his job, they are really concerned about schools, so they are talking about leaving the state. I went to one of the girls dance performances last week, I was invited to a baptisum for the oldest, I picked them up from school and stayed with them when the new baby was born last fall. I make them cookies, they bring me dandylions. Today she was telling me all about the tile they found for the bathroom and kitchen floors and as excited as I am to see them fix up the house, I know its only so they can put it on the market and get out of town. As we sat talking, one of the kids brought me a paper... shed written her name and my name and it said "I (heart) you".. It was so sweet,, and I realize I do love the neighbors and their kids. I will miss them terribly if they move, but its their life, their family and their choice for whats best for them. I have had some great neighbors over all the years and miss most when they leave. We were the youngest couple when we moved in and now we are one of the oldest. Weve seen neighbors have kids, seen their kids marry and have kids, get new spouses, sell, move, die, rebuild after fires. And as much as we miss them, life goes on. New people will buy the house next door and I will go out to meet them and start a new friendship. You have to be the one who wants the relationship and no matter what neighborhood you are in, its halfway up to you.

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K.R.

answers from San Diego on

the best way to get a feel for a neighborhood to talk to the neighbors. We were house shopping and hanging out front when a neighbor came home, and he was friendly and talked to us for 15 min. He gave us a good feel for the types of people who lived there and the safety factors on that street. I would feel awkward knocking on doors, but the last owner may have insight, or visit the potential property around 5:30 when people may be coming home from work?

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I would say better schools affect your children's future more. They will have friends in school, activities, and if you go to church. Their friendships and socialization don't hinge on whether or not you have a lot of kids in your neighborhood. However, what school they go to immediately affects their education. Having kids around is great, but if your kids are in a neighborhood going down hill and they aren't getting a quality education...it doesn't matter much that their are kids around. Those kids aren't going to pass their tests and get them into college!! You have to remember, that you are only looking periodically. You could drive through my neighborhood and their will no kids outside, but if you had come later, earlier, or the next day...they are all over the place. If there is a school near the neighborhood, I guarantee kids are around.

To answer your title question. No, I don't love my neighbors. I met them once and could tell they would be fine neighbors. We moved here for safety, quality of our home, and the city we live in. We are very happy, and don't know a single person on our street after 2 years. My son is happy. It's not a problem.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

As long as it is a safe great neighborhood (even without a lot of other kids) I would sacrifice a kid neighborhood for great schools. Only because when I was growing up we moved to a neighborhood where there weren't kids around us but my parents would always take me to my friend's houses that I made at school so it was fine. Honestly, here there are a ton of kids, but are unsupervised (ages 2-12) and put the bikes behind the cars and I had to actually help the 2 year old down from the roof of my mustang. I don't even know how they do that stuff. But maybe it's just my feelings because the kids here are products of idiot parents.

But it would be a last resort. I would either look for a private school if I'm not happy with the school and can afford it. Or I'd look for both aspects in a neighborhood/school situation.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I LOVE LOVE LOVE our neighborhood and our neighbors!!!

We've been here 15 years....and I'm a military brat who is used to moving every 3 years....yet I've stayed....

A safe neighborhood is VERY important to me as is great schools....guess I'm lucky!!

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Been there, done that!! We moved from Akron to have our boys attend better schools and for a bigger house, yard, etc. Most importantly, for a safer neighborhood. We left AWESOME neighbors, on both sides, with whom we trusted with everything. Now, we have yet to make friends with any of our neighbors-8 months later. I feel sad having left them, but we do have a lot of little kids in our neighborhood. In fact, several of them love playing with our boys and are very nice. Friendships take time, and I am sure it will happen.

Where are you thinking of moving to? I would maybe try driving through neighborhoods that you are interested in, at different times of the day, over a course of a few days. This might give you a more accurate description.

Good luck! I know exactly how you are feeling!

L.M.

answers from New York on

Very tough question! I am in a great neighborhood with good schools as well and the thing I like best of all is that within a one block radius, we are good friends with 5 other families all of whom have children our kids age - we're constantly having improptu "playdates" in one another's backyards, or going on walks and bike rides together. I would absolutely hate to lose this...but we lucked into it. We did not know anyone when we moved in in 2007. Try and find the best of both...

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H.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Tough situation . . . . My hubby bought our house before we were engaged (although he said he knew we were going to be married & have kids ~ he even had my dad~who is a builder~check out the house). Anyway, he bought it (w/ my input) for several reasons a) great price b) he's friends w/ the previous owner c) GREAT school system d) perfect compromise for what we both wanted & the list goes on. Since he's been here (15 & 1/2 yrs. & we've been married nearly 14 yrs.) we've gotten 6 new neighbors (there are only 17 houses on my street). The rest of the people have been here since our street was put in nearly 30 years ago. There weren't many kids on the street, but when new neighbors moved in, we all are about the same age & just so happened to start having kids together. They all play together & we all get along really well. Of course there are a few people on our street we're not fond of, but at least we're all cordial.

So, if you move somewhere & plan on staying, you might go through some neighbors & you might end up really liking them. I would go for the good school district ~ your kids can always invite friends from school over to play!

G.T.

answers from Redding on

Walk the new area a little bit and maybe talk to some of the people on the block and find out what it's really like. Maybe all the kids are playing in the back yards?
Giving up good neighbors is very hard.
If you arent happy where you live, the house is not a home.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I've had neighbors I despise.
They didn't care what noise they made at any hour of the day - left dogs barking outside all night, didn't pick up after their animals, let the kids run wild, didn't take care of their property, had the police over for domestic violence, we were constantly picking up empty beer cans/bottles thrown around the neighborhood, etc.
And I've had neighbors who were very considerate but were not very friendly - you didn't hate them but you don't want to lose them for fear of gang bangers moving in.
And now we've got neighbors who are considerate and friendly (we share excess crops from gardens, bake things for each other, etc).
I'll take the last 2 types of neighbors any day - the first kind can make life stressful.
There are a lot of factors for choosing neighborhoods and you have to strike a good balance that is right for you.

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K.L.

answers from Lafayette on

We left a house that really was too small (2 bedrooms for 4 of us) in a neighborhood we loved, but where the middle and high schools really were awful...have moved 3 times since and haven't found neighbors to compare!

You might try watching a bit of HGTV (not kidding here) or find a book at the library about remodeling/renovating your space! You might find that it isn't as small as you think, and a few changes at home might make it worth staying! good luck!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I have not read any of the other responses.. We adore, love our neighbors! Our children have grown up together and now they are all in college all over the place so we parents that are empty nesters go for Trivia nights or for happy hours.

One neighbor passed away and we all helped her husband with his children and anything and everything he would need to be a single parent of 4 kids.. He just remarried! And we love his new wife and her kids.. We are so happy for them.. The few families that have moved away, only moved a few blocks away, but we still include them in our
hood" events. We know we are fortunate. It is one of the main reasons we have not left this tiny house. We love our neighborhood.

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

In my experience, A., you never know how your neighbors are going to be until you actually live there. I moved recently to another area of the city. I like it very much and I have nice neighbors, but we absolutely miss our neighbors we had in our former neighborhood, and that includes, kids, husband and myself. We were like a family and everyone in that neighborhood was so friendly, respectful and nice (kids and parents!!) My kids miss their friends so much and sometimes we get together, but it is not the same not having them everyday, wave and say hi, have the kids at my door asking to play with my kids or sit down outside and just have a talk.
H. is nice, we love our house but it is not the same, perhaps with the passing of time when we know each other, things will be the way we like it....still it is nice to live H.......

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Okay so two things. I can't stand my neighbors and I would give anything for some good neighbors and children that are my kids age. Next thing. If I found a house I really loved I would go knocking on the neighbors doors to see who they were and ask them what they thought about the neighborhood. Heck its going to be your furter home for your children and you want them to be safe and happy. I didn't do this and I wish I would have. :)

Hope this helped!

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I love my neighbors!! Apparently, the people who rented our house before us were monsters, so our neighbors welcomed us with open arms. We have our elderly widowed neighbor, Miss B, who spoils my kids rotten, Miss C next to us (who owns a very cool, ritzy consignment shop), Buzzy the Dog catty corner to us (and Buzzy's dad, LOL)... Buzz is the neighborhood dog, he's in my house constantly ;) Then we got new neighbors across the street who are quiet but friendly and rely on us for advise, as they are expecting their first child... and we have 3 ;) There aren't many kids in our neighborhood, but everyone still looks out for everyone else.

Before this house, we lived in the city. It could be a 'dangerous' place. We were very aware of our surroundings. Our neighbors were friendly but we didn't know them very well. There was a park a few blocks away where there were always kids playing, but there were also a lot of homeless people who bunked there, so we were always on guard.

And finally, the house before that, CREEPY NEIGHBORS!! It was a VERY child friendly neighborhood, kids always playing outside, BUT... the dude who lived behind us used to go to his shed EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I. TOOK. A. SHOWER (there was a window in our shower)... and the people next to us had this psycho kid who used to point laser pointers and GUNS at our house. NO BUENO.

When it was just me and my daughters, I lived in an apartment. My next door neighbors, I couldn't have lived without, they were wonderful and 10+ years later, we live an hour apart, but we're still in touch :)

My point is, in my experience, what you would have thought were the kid-friendly places, turned out to be the opposite. Don't judge a book by it's cover ;)

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

If you like an area, go talk to the neighbors and see how you feel and if you like them. Then you can judge if its a good fit for your family or not. It is good to have a balance between great neighbors and school, safety of neighborhood etc. Check it out~ GL!

M

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