I have a five year daughter. When she talks she tends to talk very loudly, alsmost yelling. We keep trying to tell her to lower her voice when speaking, then she starts to use a wierd very qiuet voice. How do I teach her to talk in a regular voice without shouting? She has a raspy voice and her speech teacher seems to think she may be damaging her vocal cords with all of her loud talking, and she also cries and yells a lot when she is upset! Help, I am starting to loose my hearing!!
Do you think she might have a hearing loss or has this been considered? In my experience with adults, sometimes if they can't hear themselves or how loud they are because of a hearing loss, sometimes such an individual would talk overly loud, need TV loud, etc. Good luck. I would seek any professional help possible including from school as this could be a problem there as well. S.
tell her that she has to use her inside voice in the house like in the library, and her loud or outside voice outside
One of my three sons had this problem. We just pretended like he was a radio or tv and asked him to turn the volume down. We pretended he had a nob on his tummy. He got the idea very quickly. We gently reminded hime. There was nothing wrong with him. I also have a grand daughter who speaks loudly and we tried the same method with her and it worked beautifully. She is almost nine now and has out grown talking so loudly.
Have you considered enrolling her in a children's music class? My son (3 1/2) has been doing this for some time - at his age they do lots of loud, soft, high, low, singing vs. talking vs whispering voices. The other thing I particularly enjoyed when I was her age was a tape recorder. Maybe you have a microphone you can use with your computer or something, but testing out different voices and saying different things and seeing how you sound is both entertaining, and might also help her learn the difference and give her some feedback.
Tell her to use a "12 inch voice", meaning that she should speak at a volume that can only be heard a maximum of 12 inches away. Practice with her and model with her.
When she screams, ignore her. Seriously. Don't give the behavior any attention. She will learn that if she wants your attention, she'll do it in an appropriate manner. Screaming and yelling will not get any attention. Talking at an appropriate volume will.
Has she had her hearing checked at school? I think some kids talk loudly because they have trouble hearing themselves. I would talk to your doctor and get her hearing checked, just to be sure.
Agree with the suggestions to have her hearing checked- but if she is already working with a Speech Therapist, I am guessing that was suggested by her/him already. What are her goals in speech?
An idea for home use:
Use a color coded scale, like 9 squares of colored paper, escalating in brightness from left to right. Light pink- pink- light fuschia- light red- red-dark red, etc. You can also just uses crayons or markers to get the right colors. Glue each square in a line on a strip of poster board, light to dark. Practice uses different volumes of your own voice, pointing to a "light pink" voice or a "red" voice. See if she can tell the difference with her own voice. Tape record her trying out different levels or just having a conversation with you and play it back. When she gets loud, you can point to what level you think she is at and say, "You are up here at dark red, can we move to a light red?"
If she starts yelling at you when she is upset, I'd just say, "Turn it down so I can hear you. I can't hear you when you are so loud." If she doesn't lower her voice, or won't use the scale when she is upset, I'd tell her to move to a part of the house where she can't make you crazy with her yelling. Yelling is not too acceptable in my house. You can be MAD and tell people you are MAD and raise your voice, but you can't yell at anyone for more than a second or two. (Unless someone is in danger, of course!)
Have you had her hearing checked? I would guess she speaks loudly because she can't hear herself talk, best of luck!
have you thought about music lessons? maybe there is a childrens choir somewhere she could join, and would (gradually) start to learn about different things to do with--and therefore control--her voice!? good luck!
I know this is a big obvious, and I am sorry if I offend, but have you had HER hearing checked lately. If there have been a lot of previous ear infections, it limits their ability to hear, maybe she doesn't think she is speaking loud.
I spent last year in my job working with a very loud girl. I was actually saddened by having to tell her to keep quiet and soften your voice. It was rather hard to do and she had a loud hearty laugh that could get me rolling on the ground. Her voice is her voice. She has learned unfortunately not so much that she can control it on her own but that it makes people mad and people are always shushing her. I am glad I am not with her all the time because it pained me to see people destroy the lovely laugh. Your daughter's voice is her voice.I am unsure why her speech teacher thinks that unless she is forcing this loudness and that is not her natural voice. But, it sounds from your note like it is her natural voice. So back to what we did is shsss and remind her why she shouldnt be so loud. In a school example: the other kids are testing, it hurts M.'s ears, etc. I don't know if it's her voice and it's not her fault. If she is doing it on purpose to annoy people then she needs consequences and you know what to do there, but if it's the same case as the girl I worked with, then she will need prompting all the time. And rewards and consequences. And if you can ignore the weird voice thing, that definitely sounds put on. But if not then back to all the previous. Good luck!
Hello-
It's funny to read this because I just took my son to see an ENT because he has a raspy voice and always has since he could begin to talk. I also noticed that he has a hard time whispering so we also got his hearing tested. It turns out that his hearing was perfect but his vocal cords have callouses on them due to loud speaking! I have never heard of such a thing! The doctor said that we could take him to speach class so that he could be taught how to speak properly or just be on him constantly. The ENT said that they tend to grow out of it so I didn't have to take him to see a specialist and nothing medically could go wrong. I would talk to your doctor and see what they think? I'm sure that all instances are different so this may be something that she cannot help without a specialist?
Good luck to you!
Jackie
She may have sensory issues. She sounds a lot like my older daughter at that age. Things with her did not really peak until about age 7 when I realized she was starting to get worse, not better, for her age. The raspy voice makes me think of something else that we have going on as well, which is strep problems. A lot of the parents at the support board I frequent say that their children have constant raspy voices.
A lot of times children with chronic strep issues do not present with typical fever and sore throat like you usually think. They will instead present with a variety/range of other issues like sensory issues, fatigue, random aches and pains, day or bed wetting, allergies, dark circles under eyes/glazed look in eyes/wide pupils, fixation or ocd type behaviors, liking to lift heavy objects and lug them around, having to have/do things "just so", panic or rage for no logical reason, random fevers or other weird symptoms that are not linked to anything that you can figure out, strange rashes or skin problems that come and go, sleep issues, being "precocious" with language or motor issues (on the flip of that some are delayed as well), tics or repetitive behaviors (sniffing, throat clearing, nose picking, skin picking, lip biting, eye blinking, etc are some milder ones)
PANDAS is the acronym that is used to name the condition for strep issues that affect the brain in small children. What happens is the body does not react in a typical way to fight a strep infection and instead attacks itself (particularly the basal ganglia) and you see a whole variety of symptoms, depending on the severity and depending on the child.
If any of this hits home, please visit these websites for more info:
support forum
www.latitudes.org (PANDAS section)
www.webpediatrics.com (a local dr who treats, who has a great section showing symptoms)
Hugs,
M.
Just have to throw this out there, has she had her hearing checked? When kids can't monitor their voice well they do talk loud. Sorry not to scare you but something to look into if you haven't. The nurse can screen her if asked.
You need to provide her a model. When you want her to speak at a certain volume talk in that volume and say " when your voice sounds like mine, that's just right" repeat as needed until she mimics you. Most kids can't figure out " inside voice" without some form of demonstration.
When she yells or cries say " I can only hear you when your voice sounds calm like mine" be a broken record and do not respond to her with anything else. The minute she uses the right voice, praise her a ton and thank her. She should catch on pretty quickly
