How Do Kids Survive Childhood? (Toddler into Everything).

Updated on November 26, 2012
J.O. asks from Novi, MI
19 answers

How do kids survive childhood?

Preschooler got into the dryer, and yes we have TWO engaged child locks on it (that she learned how to do apparently). Today the toddler (18 mos.) pushed a chair and climbed to the counter, then into the HIGH medicine cabinet. So I took the actual medicine out and in a panic was trying to order a lock box on Amazon, even though I think I'll store it in my closet now, up high? While I'm doing this, he goes back with the chair. HOW DO YOU STOP HIM FROM MOVING A CHAIR? And he takes out nail polish and breaks it, so the kids are downstairs walking over glass and mess. I never did get to order one, yet.
Does anyone else spend nearly all day simply cleaning up messes and averting disaster? I child-proofed more than anyone I know. He can't even be in a crib or climbs it, just waiting to break a leg. He's in a little real bed.
Oh, and he can use a chair now and take the whole phone from the outlet. So I don't have a phone that I know its location if I do need to call 911 when he falls from the counter and cracks his head on the tile. I don't see ANY outlets in the kitchen he can't get to for the phone. I don't know WHERE to put the phone.

There are 4. You cannot follow them everywhere, all the time. I was a few feet away when the child opened the dryer. Split second kind of thing.

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My kids used to get into everything. The only thing I found that works is watch them like a hawk and teach them no means no.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Give him activities he can do. It sounds like he is really bored! Babyproof everything and if the chairs are a problem , move them out to the garage for the day until you need them later. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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B.B.

answers from New York on

No offense, but your child is 4, and you should not have to watch him like a hawk and clean up after him all the time.. Even the 18 month old should not being trying to get medicine. Taking out pots and pan, yes. Climbing cabinets to get medicine, no. Are your kids bored? I think you need to put things that are dangerous away, take your kids out of the house more, make them help clean up their own messes, and be quite clear about consequences when they do they that are dangerous and/or destructive.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My youngest was also very active, curious and persistent!
It's just a process that takes time, a matter of constantly saying no and redirecting. Make sure when you say no you are down on his level, holding both his hands and looking him in the eye. Be firm, not sweet, and do not smile. You want him to know that whatever he's doing is NOT okay.
I had to have a LOT of interesting things to keep my girl occupied, lots of busy play, like sand and water, anything that involved digging and scooping kept her busy for a while. Play doh was another good one, especially if I gave her "tools" like cookie cutters and toothpicks. She just needed to stay busy. She often "helped" me with housework as well, which kept her occupied and nearby, so she was less likely to be getting into something :-)

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I find that too much child proofing is counter productive. If you child proof you don't have the opportunity to teach. Obviously, put the really dangerous things out of reach, but make sure there are lots of opportunuties to say no! They lose interest for getting into stuff quicker that way, as opposed to wanting to get at the mysterious hidden treasures.

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband always says that the first 2 years of parenting is simply 'Suicide Prevention' and it's totally true!

My kids have pulled some doozeys!

At my in-laws once and we were all in the kitchen after breakfast, we all moved into the living room and were chatting away and I heard the smallest of noises (almost ignored it), I went into the kitchen to find my then 16mos old ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!!!!!! Just sitting there, holding a box of cereal. My MIL ran to get the camera and took a picture...her and my FIL couldn't stop laughing...they whispered to each other, went downstairs and came back up with a box of old photos...digged around for awhile and came up with a picture of my husband sitting ON TOP OFF THE SAME FRIDGE, just a wee bit older! Gotta admit, it was kinda funny...after the fact! This particular son was a climber and I put him in Gymnastics, it was a great decision and he did really well!

~I have 1 boy (out of 6 boys & 1 girl) who has had the most serious injuries out of all the kids, you just wouldn't believe it, we have them listed as his 'wrap sheet' on the computer somewhere...and it is scary but impressive at the same time?!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I find that when a kid goes from one mischievous thing to another, that they are bored and need more structure.

My advice to you would be to put more structure in your son's day and to use a swat or two on the behind for dangerous things like getting in the medicine cabinet. As for moving the chair, if he moves it again, make him spend 10 minutes pushing the chair around. Take the glamour out of it and make it a chore.

Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Keep your cell phone in your pocket. That way you have a phone to call 911.

As another person said -- LOCK stuff up. Not childproofing stuff, but actual key locks. And close and lock the doors to rooms that are not places they should be: dining room, kitchen, washer/dryer area, garage, home office, and anywhere with chairs. Ensure that bathrooms are stripped of anything they could get into. Stripped completely out of there -- not behind a childproof "lock" they can get past. Do not put medicines in your closet ats you mention -- they will only find it there. Order that lockbox.

A lot of folks seem to find this post amusing but I don't. They are going to get hurt falling or eating something they shouldn't, or -- they will get all the way out of the house and wander off. You need to get locks for exterior doors that are ones the kids can't possibly work from inside but YOU can work from inside so you can all get out in an emergency.

And you don't mention discipline even once. It sounds like you're so busy catching them and then having to clean up that there's no plan in place for discipline when this happens. Take tiime to sit down and decide -- before the next incident -- what you will do to discipline them. Don't make it up on the fly next time it happens. They need the same discipline every time so they learn that unpleasant things result from certain choices they make. Take away something they love and adore, and take it away immediately and don't give it back for long enough that they feel the loss.

They need a safe space in your home to explore so you need to set that up for them and then cut off all access to places you don't want them. Kids love to explore but this is too dangerous and is forcing you to do nothing but chase them and worry. Get them out, get them to burn off energy elsewhere, and at home have a safe space they can explore and keep them the heck out of other areas entirely.

In a few years you can stop locking up most of the rooms in your house but right now you really need to!

If your house is the dreaded "open plan" where nothing can be cut off and there are no doors -- wow, big trouble, and sometime soon a big hospital or home repair bill.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I know exactly how you feel. My 19 month old can open the baby gates, even the ones that are extra hard, his 3 year old sister can't, but he can.

Saturday we were visiting my parents and after dinner grandma gave him a bath. While I turned to get a diaper on him, he pooped on the living room floor and ran to the front door. I didn't see the poop because it was behind me. I saw him go to the door, so i went after him and saw him splashing in the puddle he had just peed. Then, while I go to get a towel and sanitizer, I see him playing in the poop, he even had 3 dogs helping him.

Sometimes we are just not fast enough. They have extra speed built in that we just cannot keep up with. I have to agree that our jobs as parents are just to make sure our kids live through toddler-hood and we keep some hair to keep pulling out for the next 20 years.

Oh, I bought really heavy old metal restaurant chairs for my dining table so he can't move it very well or he would.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Honestly, your little ones don't appear to be very well supervised. I understand though, I was a single mom to two toddlers once.

But this is scary stuff. Broken glass? Meds? The kitchen? If he can climb a chair to the medicine cabinet, he can also open the knife drawer, or stick something metal into the toaster.

Because you can't be there EVERY SECOND you have to do something to ensure they can't access dangerous areas. Buy a couple of baby gates. Keep them out of the kitchen and the laundry room. You could take them down when you are in direct line of sight and start doing what Cheryl B suggested (a butt swat and removal from the danger). Add stern and scary sounding "NO! NO!" as well.

Luck!

C. Lee

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Oh yes, I am entering that stage now. My daughter used to grab a chair and stand on the edge of the sink. Never fell of but I was always sure I was going to hear the screaming. I am waiting to see what my son-1 yr now-gets into.
I think it is more a question of: how do parents survive early childhood? Because you know we are ready to collapse from some of their "surprises"

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 2 year old will do anything for electronics, pens, markers, and candy. Its all put in places he shouldn't reach but he is very inventive. Its to the point we bolted almost every piece of furniture into the wall because if he can get a toe in it, he can climb it. Watching, teaching, and tiring them out is the only way. I increased his park time, and social time. This has helped immensely. My 3 and 5 year old still like to get into nail polish and make up every now and then. Usually its not so bad like before. Just a talking to and something they love taken away gets them to shape up for a while

2 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

Welcome to happy healthy toddlers! I just quit micromanaging things. If they fall out of the chair, they fall out. If they are on the table and fall, they fall. Do they learn...heck no, but I am a little saner and they are at least a little more cautious.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

When my daughter was a toddler, I had days I seriously moved the chairs onto the back porch, just for sanity.

After a trip to the ER and having to help her drink charcoal, all medications are locked in a fishing tackle box AND up high in our bathroom (We THOUGHT we were safe before and now we don't take ANY chances). I know what you mean about things happening in split seconds...I left to turn on the shower and came right back. I was gone less than a minute.

If your kids are in to anything and everything, it's time to rethink the plan. We had to do this. ( Our daughter was a serious mischief maker. She still is to some extent, but at least at 4 she is starting to understand that some things are just plain dangerous! ) We added a flip switch lock to the top of the pantry, even on a chair she couldn't get to it. We had to add locks to doors. During the day my bedroom, office and son's room stayed locked. Yes, it was a hassle, but it kept our daughter out of things. No more make up smeared on the mirror. No more destruction of prized Lego sculptures. No more turning the printer on and off. She simply couldn't get to it. Any and all hazards are out of reach. LOCKED away. Not just put up high. That phone can be moved to a locked room. Again, not ideal, but you'll know where it is. I put our bar stools in our bedroom for about two months, because it was just too much a hazard for our daughter. Don't let the kids see you unlock doors, or it won't take them long to learn how to pop them open themselves. If you 18 month old can't be left alone...don't leave him alone. As annoying as it is, potty breaks may happen with baby in tow.

It's also ok to punish for inappropriate behavior. We started time outs at 18 months. Yes, it takes a while for them to really "get it", but they do eventually understand the punishment and why they are there. Especially the four year old.

We also learned to keep our kiddos busy. The more time out of the house, the less time destroying it. Parks, walks, story time, etc. Anything to keep them busy. I also have lots of "go to" activities to keep the kids interested. Playdoh and blotter pens have kept them in one spot for many hours!

It sounds like your kids are doing more than the typical exploration. So you have to be even more on top of it. It's exhausting, I know. But in the end, the kids will get into less and you'll won't feel that panic all day long.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

4 years old?
They should know better.

You need to rethink things, being they are so all over the place and get into dangerous cabinets and poisons.
You need to actually LOCK them up. Not with kiddie locks. But actual, locks that you need to screw into your cabinets. The kind from hardware shops. Or a lock and key type thing.
AND you need to, take away all stools and chairs.
And, take ALL dangerous fluids/bottles/poisons... away, and put them in a lock box.
Yes, you may have to get that extreme... because your kids are a bit extreme in their antics.
Leave nothing dangerous in each room. You need to do more than just childproofing. Because, your kids are doing more, than typical exploring. They are doing, dangerous, things.

And they need to be punished and disciplined.
And you need to supervise them constantly, because they don't heed to rules.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Both my hubs and I work. DS, now 25 months, is a mover, a shaker, a climber, and an explorer, naturally curious, and into everything.

We try to stay ahead of the game by orchestrating at least two outings a day where he gets to get the wriggles out. Yesterday, it was the zoo in the morning, and a playdate in the afternoon.

Works a charm for several reasons-
1. The more time we spend out of the house, the less time he has to "destroy" it.
2. If he runs off energy outdoors, he tends to be more compliant indoors.
3. There are a lot of fun distractions outdoors, and plenty of opportunity for learning.
4. Helps me keep my sanity.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's silly to assume your little one is unsupervised from this post - some kids are just climbers. But if you are spending your whole day cleaning up messes, you need to change the game. Take control of the situation by adding more structured activities and outdoor time. Also, he is old enough to understand cause and effect. I would start the natural/logical consequences now. This was the toughest age for me because I underestimated how much my daughter was capable of understanding. Good luck!!!

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I've always said of mine and my nephews "They are made of rubber, and they bounce well." They routinely walk away from a fall or bump that would put me in traction for a month. Like nothing ever happened.

Perhaps you could chain your chairs to the table?

Marla, I just about coughed up a lung because I was laughing so hard at your reply. The best humor is based in truth, so they say.

One more thought - a friend of mine grew up in Germany. When she started having babies, she had the same situation you are going through. She told me one day that in Germany they never have issues like this, because all rooms have doors with locks (keyed locks). So her parents and friends could just lock rooms not in use. Problem solved. Yes, her American husband finally spent an entire day installing new door knobs with 2 way locks (like entry door locks) in all their rooms, and installing a few doors where there weren't any before.

Good luck & hang in there!

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T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

My little one is 23 months old and she is also into everything. I have baby gates up to limit where she can go and it also separates her from bothering her 4 y.o. brother while he is trying to play with blocks. I also keep doors closed. When she does start touching everything in sight I usually sit and play with her or we watch a dvd or have a snack. I don't get much quiet mommy time while she is awake since I have to be on my toes. My son was never into as much stuff as the little one was.

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