How Do I Tell an 18 Month Old.....

Books!! Get lots of "new baby" type childrens books (Borders has a special little section for these, although you'll probably have to ask where exactly it is because it's very small; and if the seller tells you they don't have one, ask a manager, because they probably just don't know it's there! :) ). Read them over and over and over until you've got 'em memorized!

Best of luck to you; you'll be a busy momma.

Congratulations! My boys are 20 months apart- one is 2 and the other is 4 months. I read the books, talked about Jonah and how he is in my belly and will come out and he'll be a little baby in our family, etc. All these things are great to give your child an idea of what is to come. HOWEVER, my son is very smart for his age too, and communicates well, but the concept of a baby in the FAMILY is too foreign for any child that small to understand until the baby gets there. Basically, you just have to meet your big kid's individual needs while she gets used to the baby being around all the time. The first several days, my older son would not call the baby "Jonah", because that's the name he associated with my belly, not this new baby : ) He kept his distance for a couple of days, but he'd come look at him or watch us taking care of him. When Jonah was 3 days old, Jonah sneezed and Isaac laughed. After that Isaac started calling him by his name and talking to him, and gradually grew more and more interested. Now if I ever take Isaac somewhere without Jonah, or even if they're in separate rooms, he asks over and over where he is, and acts really sad. Basically, what I'm saying is, the books and all the other advice is great (and definitely keep reading them after baby gets here to solidify the concept), but your kids will bond on their own and in their own time. I will tell you one thing that worked wonderfully for us was not to say, "Isaac, look at your cute baby brother", like all the visitors would say. We started holding the baby up and saying "Jonah look at your big brother! He's --dancing,playing with cars,etc.--" This made Isacc feel proud and made him feel like Jonah loves him too, which he does! Jonah still laughs hardest at his big brother being silly...Don't stress, they will figure eachother out with your gentle guidance!

P.S. I had homebirths, so Isaac came home from Grann's as soon as the baby got here- just trying to give you an idea that Isaac was around Jonah constantly for three days before he started to come around. Just don't want you to be discouraged if your little girl isn't attached to the new baby by the time you come home from the hospital...

We pretty much did all the things Jennifer suggested in her post. But my son, the first born, was excited BEFORE his baby sister came, but when she actually arrived he took the toy gorilla we'd gotten for his gift and didn't want anything to do with her. Don't be surprised if that happens to you. I think he was thinking a baby would come out just like him and be a play pal, not a red, crying, squirmy thing. He did help find diapers and pacifiers whenever those were needed in the weeks that followed, so he got over the initial shock.

I just wanted to add my 2 cents : )
My oldest daughter was 19 months old when baby #2 arrived. During the pregnancy we just explained that mommy had a baby in the belly and that she was going to have a baby sister. We played that up with lots of excitement. She was so cute...talking to the baby, kissing my belly. BUT the day that we came home from the hospital was really tough for her. She decided that she didn't want to have a sister. Just be prepared for that. Of course Mali may not go through that, but you never know. Just be understanding and patient.
Congratulations!!

Congratulations! I have to say you have gotten some good advice thus far. Books, new baby doll, Big sister is important job, all of it is great. The one thing we did that I haven't seen mentioned is if you know someone with a new born, maybe you could introduce your daughter to the baby. I think it let our son have more realistic expectations. We talked a lot about that this was how our baby would be.

Hope this helps!

Hi K.,
My son was 10 Months old when we found out we were pregnant. I had an “I’m Going to be a Big Brother” shirt made for him (How we told Daddy) that he wore all of the time. He would rub my belly and push my belly button to talk to his brother. We had pregnancy pictures taken and he was kissing my belly in one of them and we read books about what he could expect. The very last thing we did to make it a positive experience for him was to give him a gift at the hospital from his baby brother. He was very excited to meet the baby and has “Special” good helper jobs that he had i.e. getting burp cloths, take empty bottles to the kitchen, clean-up toys and feed the dog.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! The second is a whole new level of activity :-)

E.

Hi K.,
What we did with our daughter was just tell her mommy has a baby in her tummy, you are going to be a big sister, and that is such an important job! We also read her books about a new baby coming and being a big sister. Make sure she is involved as she can be in setting everything up for the new baby. We also started having our daughter spend more daddy/daughter time so when the new baby came she didn't feel so left out.

Buy her a special baby of her own as a gift a few weeks before the baby was born. We even put the pretend baby in the carseat when we were in the car, once we installed the baby seat.

My own children haven't had any problem accepting new siblings, as we never made a big deal out of it, or worried in front of the older child. The parent's I know that constantly worried about it and talked and talked to their older kid about it seemed to have a harder time. I'm not saying that you are doing this, but just make it as natural as possible. It will be fine. Also - make sure the older child has a "practice run" staying with whoever they are going to stay with, so it's not traumatic. At that age, if you can have grandma or whoever stay with her at your house, it will be easier on your daughter to have her own surroundings. Good luck!

When you tell her let her see how excited you are about the baby and that she is going to be a "Big Sister". They really pick up on this and it will hopefully get things off on the right foot. Also maybe make it a point to start using the babies name (i.e. this is baby Sierra's room, lets go see the doctor about baby Sierra). Also find some big sister books at the library or bookstores (Half Price Books has a good selection)and start reading them to her. Just be sure you pick one that is age appropriate. And last just include her in everything you do for the baby and make it really special for her. When my son was born last year my daughter was a bit older and so understood more but we did things like shopping for a present for him (of course he bought her one too that she got to open at the hospital), made her a Big Sister shirt and him a Little Brother onesie, let her put stickers on Thank You notes and talked alot about what it was like when she was "the baby" and looked at her baby pictures/video. I am expecting my 3rd, a girl in December too, and have already started teaching my 15 month old little boy about being gentle with babies by using some baby dolls. Mommy will hold and love the baby so that he gets used to the idea of Mommy holding another baby and then I ask him if he wants to hold and love the baby. He also really notices my belly now and when I ask him "where is Baby Mallory?" he will lift up my shirt and give her kisses. While I know at this age they will be quite stumped when they really see the baby for the first time, I still think they understand that things seem a little different.

I would tell her when you are really showing and she sees that something is different. She will understand to a degree. The other thing I wanted to suggest is that you have a new baby doll for her that she gets to bring home from the hospital too. My best friend did that for her daughter, and then she had new baby toys for her too, like a swing, playpen, stroller etc. Whenever mom was caring for her baby, the little girl had lots of fun taking care of her new baby too. Just an idea:) Best of luck to you, this will be a wonderful holiday season for you guys for sure!! ~A.~

I'm echoing the others here. Just talk about it and use any real-life opportunities you can to make it more concrete. There is a beautiful book called "The House Inside My Mommy" by Giles Andrae (I probably misspelled that) that is told from the perspective of a young boy (about 2 1/2). He talks about the baby growing in his mommy's tummy. It is very sweet. We read it almost every day when we were expecting our 4th child (my 3rd was two when the baby was born, so similar age gap) and I think it helped. We are reading it now to my 2-year old, as we are expecting our fifth child in February. Your daughter won't completely understand until the baby is actually home with you anyway, but just talking about it should help.
Congratulations and good luck!