How Do I Help My 6 Year Old Granddaughter with Her Bad Behavior?

Updated on May 30, 2017
J.A. asks from Detroit, MI
9 answers

Acting out in school and last night removed her mattress from her bed. She has been acting up for the past 2 weeks. This is very unlike her

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Sorry, changing my answer because I thought *you* had removed the mattress.

I guess you should ask her what's upsetting her.

4 moms found this helpful

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

If this is new behavior, you might need to find out what is going on or what has changed in her world. Is she eating well? Is she getting enough sleep? What has happened recently?

Talk to her teacher. What does he/she say about the behavior? Is anything different going on at school?

Keep in mind that the school year is ending. Kids are in desperate need for a break. Spring fever is a very real thing, and many, many kids are bouncing off the walls at school. This is a tough time of year for teachers.

Talk to her. She probably can't actually tell you what's going on, but ask her anyway. See what she says. Reassure her that she's not a bad girl and that you love her. Remind her that it's important for her to listen to her teacher and listen to you and follow rules ... and that you love her, even when she has trouble following directions.

Don't focus so much on "bad behavior." That's too vague. Remind her that it's important to listen to adults, follow directions and make good choices. Those are instructions that young children can understand.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

With things like this you need to figure out the Why before you can know the How.

There may be problems at school that she isn't talking about. She may prefer to not sleep on a bed frame because of the monsters hiding under it. Talk to her, gently, and ask questions.

School is almost out so that issue might solve itself, at least for the summer. If she wants her bed on the floor, so be it. Put the frame in storage, it is a minor issue that doesn't need to be a battle for control.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I think something happened in the last several weeks that has upset her greatly and she doesn't know how to deal with it.
Talk to her.
Is anyone picking on her at school or on the bus or playground?
Has her friends started talking about scary stories?
Ask her why she needs her mattress off her bed.
Would she feel better if the mattress were on the floor for awhile?
Communicate and work with her.
Tell her you want to help her feel better again.
Also talk to her teacher.
If she's angry or worried or anxious - you need to find out why and then suggest ways to help her deal with it.
If nothing turns up, consider talking to your pediatrician about the changes in her behavior and see what he/she has to say.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think she is just testing her boundaries to see what will happen if she does one thing vs another. Stay consistent (as much as possible) between all adults involved. It could also be from school (the stress, constantly having to stay focused with teachers etc.) which causes them to act out at home. I typically find that my students that are well behaved at school are monsters at home and vice versa.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You removed her mattress? Why? She's only 6, and six is very young.

Calm, consistent consequences is the way to go. You should not need to remove her mattress. That seems extreme.

Oh, wait, SHE removed her own mattress? How about having a talk with her and asking why? You might find out a lot.

L.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ask her what's going on. If you have a good relationship then you should be able to have a good talk with her. It's important that you are open to listening to what she has to say, without judgement. As soon as you start judging her behavior as bad then she'll shut down. She's clearly struggling with something. Those bad behaviors that she's showing feel better to her than keeping it bottled inside. Rather than starting off the conversation asking her what's wrong you could say something more like "Hey, I've noticed you've been doing x,y,z lately. That's really unlike you. I can see you're struggling with something and I want to help you." Then you can ask her if she's willing to talk to you. The more you can relate to her feelings rather than talking about the behavior the better. Good luck!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

A zillion questions here, mostly asking for more info.

Does she only do this with you? Are you raising/living with her? Are there any recent changes in her life, situation, school, etc.? What has the teacher told you about her acting out in school?

If she takes the mattress off her bed, that's not necessarily a terrible thing - but is she hauling it off in anger and then trashing things, or just wanting to sleep on the floor?

Please add to your question so we have more details.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I wish that you had added more to your question. I've been waiting to see if you would...

I take it that she is just now finishing up first grade. Has something happened at school? Did something happen with her parents?

Is her "acting out" due to anger or kind of like being depressed? Is she yelling at you? Is she giving you the silent treatment? Is she talking to you about anything?

I wish we knew more here so that we don't give you inappropriate advice.

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