Hosting a Foreign Exchange Student

I don't have anything to say about hosting international students as I have never done it, except I have a friend who does and she has had a good experience. I just wanted to say that in my experience I find teenage boys to be much more patient with little kids than teenage girls. (I get teen volunteer helpers at the Y.) The teenage boys I know like to play with the younger kids, while the girls roll their eyes and go back to looking at their phones.

My answer is going to be a little different from the others, but have you thought about waiting until your kids are older? I ask this from the perspective of the potential host student. While it might be fun for you and your family, a teenager from a foreign country might not have such an enjoyable stay with a family with young children. Things that a teen might like to see or do might not be appropriate for little kids, etc. If you are hosting for a year, it's a lot easier for an exchange student to live with a family who has kids in the same school.

I was a foreign exchange student in Japan and stayed with a family with two teen girls. I had an amazing experience, mostly, because of my connection with the girls. We obvisouly had a lot of the same interests so the things we were all able to do together were age appropriate. I'm not sure if I would have had the same experience if I had stayed with a family with young children. Just something to think about.

Thank you all so much for such great responses! It definitely sounds like this will be such a rewarding experience and I'm glad we have the ability to do something like this. You have all given me some great advice, as well as some things to consider that I hadn't thought of before. I would really feel awful if we had a student that was bored because our kids were too young. I can see the pros to hosting both a boy and a girl, but I do think that my son would be thrilled to have an older boy in the house. He always tends to gravitate towards older kids anyway. Luckily we have the space for our host student to have his/her own bedroom and bathroom so he/she wouldn't feel like they had to spend all of their time with little kids.

We were planning on hosting a student from Taiwan. My husband speaks Mandarin fluently and our son is currently attending a dual immersion program where he is learning Mandarin as well. We are a pretty active family and like to go new places and try new things. We also have teenage nieces who live nearby who are fun and active as well. There is a ton to do at and near our house (skiing, ice skating, museums, musical instruments, movie theaters, malls), so I really think that if we found someone who had similar interests and didn't mind being around kids and a dog we would have a great experience. I know my husband's family are all still very close with the students they hosted 20 years ago.

We will definitely look further into it. Thank you all so much for your advice! We're super excited :)

I did this for a school year, unpaid. If you have specific questions, you can message me. It was a good experience but a lot more work and money than I had anticipated. Still in touch with the girl.

I definitely recommend a boy for your son.

We hosted a several years ago (a boy) when our boys were 4 and 10 at the beginning of the hosting experience, and our exchange student was 15. During the year, all three boys had birthdays. Our student was from Germany, and the three boys became just like brothers, and he became our "German son." It's been 4.5 years, and we still keep in frequent contact and he refers to us as his American family. I became close to his mom, as well.

Although I love Till (that's his name) very much, it was incredibly stressful for me having him here because our home is not large enough for a family of 5. We hadn't planned to host, but a friend of ours who hosts called us saying there were 60 kids who needed places to stay, and we opened our home to Till. They put us on the fast-track as far as a home study goes, and we had Till in our house 4 days after getting the call. He was with us for 10 months. It was also much more expensive than we anticipated.

That being said, we are so glad that we have Till in our lives, and we may host again once our oldest is in college. That way we'll have room in our home. We'll have to wait and see. I am glad we did it once. It was a wonderful experience for our boys. They both plan to go visit Till; we all do. He is planning to come back here, too.

Great question! I'll be following this thread because we are thinking of hosting a student this summer or next. My family hosted three students when I was in high school, one for six months and two for one year each. Two were a so-so experience, but one turned into a lifelong relationship. He considered my parents his second family and they keep in touch to this day and get together every few years, either here or in Europe. He was devastated by my mom's recent death.

Anyhow, Rotary and Youth For Understanding are long-standing well-respected programs that you could look into. How long do you want to have a student? Those are both school-year long problems, although Rotary students rotate amongst three families during the year. AFS used to be another well-respected program. You can also contact your local middle school or high school, especially the foreign language departments. They are often looking for families to host students for a few weeks in the summer. That is the avenue we are currently pursuing.

Most of the programs require the student to have their own bed, but not their own room. It must also be located in a real bedroom, not a common area like a finished basement. There are usually strict rules for the students regarding drinking, drugs, driving and dating (The Ds?).

You could look into requesting a student that seems to match best with your family and interests, regardless of gender, and see what happens. We were told that matching family interests and living style is more important than age or gender of the student. However, we have two teenage boys so we will be getting a boy. Good luck!

My sister's BFF and her family have hosted a Japanese student for the last 4-5 years and they LOVE it! The Mom is on the board now and she does the 'in-home inspections' at the to be host families homes....so I know that they come and inspect your house...beyond that I don't know much about it, other than they love it!

They always get girls but I think that's b/c they only have girls so it fits. They can't say enough good things about the program and the students that come over.

Good Luck! It sounds like a wonderful opportunity!

I agree with MomtoOne. I also did an exchange to Japan and having 2 other girls my age made the experience so much easier and enjoyable. I don't think I would have had as much fun without having the girls around my age, and for sure it would have been so much harder.

I was an exchange student (summer only) in Japan through Youth for Understanding...um, many years back. It was a wonderful experience for me.

It really did help to have another kid in the family my same age (17 at the time). There was also a brother who was 19. We were both old enough that he and I could go out and do things without the parents always having to accompany us or drive us. So think through how you would handle things if your much younger kids needed to be home but you wanted (or needed) to take the student somewhere -- you and your husband would need to be willing to tag-team things, and you would not necessarily be doing all-family outings with your student as much as you think.

Also, your teen student (if it's during a school year) will need to get to nighttime and weekend school events; other students' homes for study or socializing; the library to do research; the mall to get necessities; the movie theatre to meet friends; and so on. With one toddler and one young grade schooler, are you and your husband going to be up for one of you doing these runs? (Assuming here that your student doesn't drive or is leery of driving -- or his program doesn't permit him to drive while here on exchange.) Are you also up for having teenagers over to your house, and telling your son that he really needs to leave the older kids alone now so they can do their own thing? Or is he going to be disappointed when you have to tell him he needs to leave the kids alone-- or when the student says so, even kindly?

These are things to think through before hosting a student so much older than your own kids. You will need a very good fit, maybe a student with siblings around the age of your kids. When you tell the hosting organization about your younger children, you may find that they recommend you wait. I don't think it's a hard and fast rule or anything like that, but I would guess that teen student host organizations might give preference to families with kids nearer the ages of the foreign students.

I'm not trying to throw cold water on your commendable enthusiasm -- just pointing out that having a student live with you during the entire school year may require more logistics than you expect, especially if the student can't drive himself to school, friends' houses etc. I would do a summer-only exchange that is for a much more limited time and does not involve issues of "We need to leave Student alone now, he can't play, he has to study" etc.See how that goes first.

Exchanges are terrific and I hope you do one but think hard about having someone in your home for a very extended period like a full school year. If you don't mesh or you find it isn't working for your own kids, you will find it difficult to get out of the arrangement and it will be hard to explain to your kids.

We have hosted 2 students in the past. Both were incredibly fantastic experiences.

I highly recommend you request a boy for your son as he'll definitely remember this experience forever. Is there space in your son's room for another bed? Or do you have a guestroom?

In one house, we had enough space for the female student to have her own room. She came from a family of 5 and was in heaven having her own room. My eldest DD was 11 at the time and wasn't keen on sharing her bathroom.

The next house was smaller and no guestroom, and the female student shared a room with our 3 year old DD. Again, it was a wonderful experience.

As always, girls are generally more helpful with household chores. Boys are more playful with the kids.

Anyone smart enough to enroll in a foreign exchange program is usually an extremely bright and great kid. I have never heard of any foreign exchange students being unsafe to be around. Even my friends who have hosted have good experiences.

K., is there a college nearby that has a college student exchange program? I'd start with that if you possibly can so that the student lives on campus. Only take one year stints in case it turns out that you cannot stand the student.

Once you get used to the process, THEN take on a high school student.

Dawn

I've never done this, or had experience with this, but it sounds like such an enriching experience. How old would the student be? High school age? If it were me, I'd choose a boy, but I'm not sure why. I like the aspect of your son being able to look up to the student, so a boy would be a good idea. Also, knowing my husband, he'd be more comfortable mentoring a male student than a female one.

My family has hosted students twice from Japan. Both teenage girls, as my daughter is 14. It was a great experience. I would consider a same-sex child in the age range of your son. He would get more out of that experience. We went through our local YMCA.

How timely! We were just tapped to take on an exchange student whose previous THREE arrangements have not worked out well. We've been streamlined through the process of application and background check, interview and orientation. We just met the student tonight. She moves in Sunday morning. We are excited.

I am going to echo a lot of what Leigh says because my OWN children are 7 years apart and its difficult to manage all the chauffering with the little one in tow. Also, the younger one insinuates himself into just about all of my teenage daughter's social occasions at home. He can be a bit of a pest as a result. You also have to consider the exposure your younger ones will have as a result of what the teenager says, listens to, watches, reads, surfs et al. Again, I am speaking from my family experience but I can see it happening in an exchange student situation.

The organization we are working with is CCI Greenheart, a nonprofit international educational exchange organization based in Chicago, IL.

Another thing you may want to consider at this time in your lives is an au pair, which is a person who comes over to study at the college level however he or she is EXPECTED to help with the small children in the family. They are required to take courses and keep up their grades or they are sent home. I believe they can come over for at least one year, with an option to extend up to 1 more year. Besides providing room and board, I think you are expected to compensate for child care for au pairs.

I hope this helps and I think its awesome that you want to open your hearts and home to promote cross cultural exchange.