Homework Daily Battle

I had major problems with my son doing a half-assed job on his homework. He was putting down guesses just to get it done faster so he could go play. Same thing with the in school work. You should of seen the papers he was comming home with! I know he knows how to do it, he's just being lazy. My husband and I had a sit down chat with him. We explained to him conesquences for his actions. not just in school, but in the real world.

He wants to be a truck driver like his dad. (isn't that sweet!) My husband explained to him what would happen if he did a half assed job at work. Or if he did his job too fast. Basicly telling him that he could end up hurting someone and losing his job! Just the thought scared him. And as much as I don't really agree with using scare tactis sometimes, it works! He pays more attention to his work and I check his homework all the time. He knows if he needs help not be afraid to ask. The important thing is to get it right. I am proud to annouce that he made A/B honner roll this semester! Good luck!

OK J.! I am actually a middle school teacher (Or was before my baby) so I have seen both sides of school work. I had students who raced to do their homework and did poorly, students who were meticulous and those who just refused to do their homework. With those who did their homework poorly I would take away their breaks and make them re-do it while they had to watch their friends enjoying themselves. They say EVERY break until it was done correctly too. Now, in a public school I know that a teacher cannot do that. However, here is the LOOPHOLE! (I am the queen of those!) YOU can write a note to your teacher so that it's on file that it is YOUR decision and not the schools stating that YOU want him to give up his breaks at school to re-do his schoolwork. Usually the counselors/office will be more than happy to help you if it means their academic standing will go up with more students completing their work and doing better on tests. If there is no place for him to sit in the school yard, then he can be sent to the office, books and papers in hand. It's kind of an embarrassment technique and it never failed me.
On the other hand, for the students who just plain refuse to do their work, there is always retention. Don't spring it on him though. He has to be allowed to make his own decision because partly this is what he is rebelling against. He is being told what to do and when to do it not only at home, but also at school and he's trying to exert some independence. Albeit it's misguided, but that's where this is stemming from. So give him all of the facts. Students who do well... go on to the next level. Those who don't stay behind and since this is more than likely his last year at his current school he will also lose a great deal of his friends who will be going on to a new school. Does he want to face that? This is another subliminal embarrassment technique. If he chooses to continue to not do his work then you must back up WHATEVER you told him. Some schools still secretly (or blatantly) continue social promotion or promotion based on test results. You as the parent still have a say as to whether or not your child continues on, especially if you have a report card stating he doesn't know the material from 6th grade.

Good luck to you!!! If you're in the San Diego area I'm available to tutor if he makes up his mind to try to get caught up.

He needs to feel successful. You said that when he does it, it is done incorrectly. It sounds as if he may be avoiding it because he simply doesn't get it. I really think that punishing him for "not getting it" is setting him up for further failure, at least feeling like a failure. I'm sure you know that Jr. High is a critical time. He needs to go in feeling pretty confident. I suggest working closely with his teacher (specifically to set him up for no-fail situations), give him a lot of encouragement, and look for what he is doing right. Little doses of success will only embolden him to do better.

Jen

I am having the same problem with a girl that is in 6th grade that I am a nanny for. She is very arguementive on the whole homework thing. I know being a mom is different than being a nanny because I am not close to her like you are with you're son. As busy as you might be with you're other children, are you able to take time to sit with him while doing his homework? That is what my dad did with me. Especially when I was having difficulty in a subject. What do his teachers say? Is he doing okay in certain subjects and more work on others? The only thing I would suggest is sitting with him, letting him know that you are available to help him and encourage him to do his work. The rewards are as good as "Great job on that problem". Punishments just discourages. Taking things away, yeah that is some stuff that needs to be done. Like the priveledges that some kids get. I hope any of this helps and let me know on how it goes. I could use some help too.
Bye =)

Hello J.!

Hear you loud and clear as a single mom to a 13 year old who has never loved homework. The best thing I started with her in 6th grade is what the school implements a binder with homework for each group and getting her into tutoring right away. Even if your child is very intelligent, it helps for them to be "inspired" by a peer or high school student. Even check out free services at the YMCA great programs!!

I also have an 11 year old (6th grade) that is in middle school. I tell you good communication with their teachers is the right way of staying in touch and staying on top of your child’s academics. I was experiencing the same situation. I sensed some uneasiness when I asked him to correct his math problems, it wasn’t until I contacted his math teacher, is when I found out that my child was a little behind and not understanding his assignment(s) – not sure if this is the same situation however, once he spent some extra time after school with his teacher and started to fully understand the subject I noticed that he was a lot more comfortable with his homework assignments. Hope this helps.

I had the same problem with my 12 year daughter. First, I will let you know she has ADD. We kept her off meds for a long time and just recently started her on them and oh what a difference it has made. If that is not his problem I have another solution. We also took her to Sylvan when she was having problems. They really did help her. I am even thinking about taking her this summer just to get her prepared for Jr. High. They have scholarship programs available. It is still a battle sometimes but one thing her Doctor told me was, it is her responsibility to get it done and get it done right. Not yours. Your responsibilty is to make sure she has a place to do her homework and be there in case she has questions. It was hard a first to let go, but since I have there is a lot less stress for me and for her. She knows the consequences when she doesn't finish her homework and accepts them when handed to her.