Help with Behavior Problems

Hi L. B,
If the specialist does not feel he has ADHD can you ask him to offer some advise as to what you should do regarding his behavior in school. Maybe a therapist would help. Your son could feel a bit of isolation regarding your other sons. Let his teacher know that he was not diagnosed w/ADHD & together you'd be willing on coming up w/a solution to the problem. The school needs to know up front that he has been seen by a licensed practioner and they should no longer be concered w/him having ADHD.
T.

It may sound strange, but are you sure you child is not bored in school. Many times "gifted" children exhibit this behavior because they are simply bored with the cirriculum and do not feel challenged by it. If his grades are good and he seems to be above the curve, that could definately be it. If this seems like it could be the case, you could take to his teacher about special programs they have for gifted kids or perhaps some more challenging projects for him to work on. Just a thought :) Sometimes people are so quick to jump to ADHD when it is really just a matter of not feeling challenged in school.

Also, you might want to take a look at what he is eating during the day. If he is having a lot of sugar or other types of junk food during lunch or "treats" that teachers give kids,, that can lead to the types of behavior you are explaining. I don't mean to sound all "wholistic" or anything, but it has been known to make a difference. Sometimes you would be suprised what they are eating, even if you pack them a healthy lunch!

Hope this helps,

A.

I think that since you have had your son to the Doc. and they all say he is fine and does not have ADHD then maybe its the school. My son is also seven and in the first grade. He HATES to color writes VERY sloppy because hes in a hurry or something. But anyways I talked with his teacher and she told me that my son was just fine. He just needs to slow down and take his time. So we told my son if he keeps getting check minus' then he would have to color a picture everyday at home and practice his hand writing at home also. So thats what we are doing and he seems to be calmer at school. ( he was the one to make all the kids laugh and never sit still either ) I really think you need to take a look at the teacher and the school. GOOD LUCK!

Since you know your son best. Maybe you should consider homeschooling if you can. What's a better teacher/student ratio than one on one? Plus you can gear his studies in the ways that he is most receptive.

L.-

I agree with one of the other moms, maybe you should look at some of the smaller, less obvious things, like getting his eyes checked. Is he having trouble making friends? Is he struggling with reading comprehension (can be a big problem and make everything difficult)? Is someone bullying/picking on him?

I honestly think he sounds like a very normal little kid. I know when I was little, before the card system was instituted, I used to get my name written on the board all the time. I was a chatter box. My little brother used to get in trouble and have to "flip a card" is what they call it at his school. My parents got tough with him and started taking things away when he couldn't behave, and eventually they stopped having problems with him getting in trouble.

I know its frustrating but I really think its just a kid being a kid. Hang in there!

You may want to try taking him to a nutritionist. Some children have reactions to certain types of red dyes and/or preservatives found in common food (especially food that kids like to eat...like fruit roll-ups!). And, obviously, sugar and artificial sweeteners can present a problem in kids' behavior.

Although his behavior isn't too bad my oldest son has issues focusing at school. Daydreaming would be his problem and if he daydreams during the instructions then he doesn't know what he is suppose to be doing. That is usually where he gets in trouble. Try using some kind of reward system for good days or taking something away (that he loves) on bad days. My middle child had trouble following the rules in kindergarten. Green, yellow, or red were the colors in his room. He kept getting three or more yellow cards a week. I took away his Gameboy when ever he got more than one yellow card a week. (pure torture) He wouldn't get it back until he had a whole week of green cards. By the last couple months of school he had all green cards. Each child responds to different things maybe he has something he loves doing and that can be a reward for a week of great behavior. I am not at all concerned that any of my children have ADD/ADHD. Doctors and parents are too quick too say "behavior problems, we will fix them with medication". Please don't use medication unless it is a last resort. I hate to see so many kids on medication they don't need to use. Maybe the teachers classroom managment skills aren't working with his presonality type. I really hope things get better for you and your son.

I have a little cousin who seems to have this same problem. He doesn't have ADHD though, he is bi-polar. He does fine some days but others he is a handful. Recently he was held back from the first grade because he doesn't want to read at that level. Basically he can do it but if a page has more than 3 sentences on it, he looks at it and says it's too hard.

You could also try to find out if he's dyslexic too. That way you know ahead of time. It could be that your son is just too bored with the stuff they do and needs something of a higher level. That or maybe he's having trouble with the things they do and doesn't want anyone to know so he doesn't get made fun of.

Just my opinion though.

Hi L.. I have a friend who has a son that has problems staying focused at school. He takes some medication, I am not sure what it is, but he only takes it on school mornings and it works very well!!!! His mom also was told he may be adhd but that is not the case at all. you might ask his pediatrician if there is a medicine to keep him calm and focused during school. Good luck, I hope things work out ok.

S.

Ah reading that made me relive my oldest sons first grade year - And no my son does not have ADD/ADHD but every teacher reads him that way because if he is bored and not interested he doesnt pay attention and then gets behind on what he is supposed to do - he wont ask hey I wasnt paying attention what are we supposed to be doing so..........every year we go through the same scenerio and when it started primarily the end of kindy we just would talk to him and reinforce that school time is just that and even though there are some subjects we don't care for we still have to take them and do our best. It took pretty much 6 months of that and he got okay - The one thing too is that with my son I noticed that the teacher had it "out for him" would mark him not green for something silly and we would correct him on the days it TRUELY mattered and on those other days - we would praise him for something different and remind him that his teacher has rules and he has to follow them the best he can. Riding him did not work because then as a parent you become over critical and get frustrated easily. I really had to take a step back and just say HELLO he's 6/7 and he's a boy. They mature slower and he's a boy.
Good luck and stand your ground cause no one else (not even the best of teachers ) will fight for him like you will.
From a mom of three angel boys

Hi L.,
We had a similar problem in second grade and implemented a rewards system for good behavior. This allowed us to focus and reinforce positive deeds rather than bad. I bought some trinkets from the dollar store and set up a 'prize box'. After school each day my son was allowed to choose a 'prize' if he brought home a good report. If he brought home a bad report we talked about the choices he made and planned for better results the next day.
It was nice to celebrate the good and eventually we didn't need the 'prize closet' any more.
Some people don't believe in bribing children, but our whole lives work on bribes, so I use it as needed with my child.
Hope this helps.
J.

I just wanted to say I know somewhat where your coming from. My son is in Kindergarten for the second time this year because his teacher felt that he was having a hard time listening and following directions. We recently met with his teacher and he's number 1 in his class as far as grades but she still can't get him to follow directions. She had mentioned ADD testing and we agreed but I really don't think he has it. If he does, I don't want him on any medicine because I feel it stops them from just being a kid and more like a zombie. Good luck.

I agree with some of the other moms. I would talk to his teacher but also reevaluate his diet.

Have you had him tested for thyroid issues? I read an article in the September 2007 issue of Discover magazine recently that was about this type of issue. It's on page 30 and called "Vital Signs" by Mark Cohen. It turned out the little girl had a thyroid problem. She wasn't having the "normal" signs of thyroid disease but was acting out like you son. And she was having a lot of problems concentrating on school work. She complained that she couldn't focus or remember things. If your Dr. is wishy washy about doing a test then tell him you want it done to rule out the issue. I would think he would agree to do it. The Dr. in the story had to send the TSH test to an "academic" lab to have the results come out right. The girl had Graves disease, but she had an unusual antibody that reacted with the standard TSH test and gave falsely high readings. Her endocrinologist says that in children the earliest indications of hyperthyroidism may be behavioral.

It is worth ruling out!

Hi L.,
I have a little girl with ADHD and I can tell you that when she is at home she can not control it any better than when she is at school. I think more focus based tasks will bring it out more, but I doubt your son would be able to control it while at home if he had ADHD. I have seen so much about behavior problems and sometimes certain problems can cause this to happen at school. Sometimes if they are bored, if it's over their head or if they can't see well. Have you had his eyes checked? It could be something simple. For your sake I hope it is. Good luck! I know how frustrating those calls from school are.

I would set up a meeting with his teacher and try to pinpoint why he's uninterested in the lessons. Maybe he's bored because he already knows the stuff that his teacher is going over. I think that the first few years of school must be so h*** o* kids who have already learned how to read and write and simple math problems. I mean, can you imagine listening to teachers go over stuff all day long, 5 days a week, that you have known for two years? Of course you're going to get distracted and find something to keep you busy, whether it be disruptive or not really doesn't occur to young kids that age. My mother in law taught first grade once and she was talking about a boy who was well advanced in math. She sat him down and said "I understand that you know a lot of this already, but I still have to teach it to the rest of the class" She gave him worksheets that were for second and third graders, told him that he didn't have to pay attention to her lessons, but that he couldn't talk or be disruptive either. She let him hand in those worksheets to her and she'd grade them and hand them back, even though they weren't part of her lessons. She said that he completely complied, she just had to make sure he had something to keep him busy during subjects that he was advanced in. I think it's important for teachers to realize that in the younger grades, there are going to be various levels of academics, and no matter how much of an incovenience it is, they need to recognize that and allow those kids to work beyond what the other kids are. Maybe it's something as simple as this with your son, it's just something that has to be figured out. Unfortunately, not all teachers are in tune with each one of their students on a personal and academic level. So, talk with your son, find out what's keeping him so uninterested, then maybe go to his teacher and recommend a couple of things to keep him busy. It's worth a shot. Your son must be miserable, always being in trouble. I'm sure he's just as annoyed about it as his teacher is. If you find that his teacher isn't willing to put forth the extra effort, ask one of the other teachers in the grade, and maybe consider switching him into a different class. Keep it in mind in the future too. I would try to do some investigating on teacher's methods and try to get him in with the teachers who try to accomodate the different academic levels. When I was a kid, there was a program called L.A.M.P that about 5 of us would go to 3 times a week for the entire afternoon. There, we had a separate teacher who went over very challenging problem solving strategies and other things that we had never been subjected to before. It was for kids who were ahead of their class academically and it worked wonders for me and the other students in the program. I learned a lot, and was still able to get perfect scores on all of the things the rest of my class was working on in the regular classroom. See if any programs like this are offered. It was a lot of fun.

Did you fill out a Connors Scale? that is the most accurate. go to someone else. good luck