Help with 2 Yr Old Freaking Out over New Baby Coming.

I would still try to give her as much one on one time as you can with a new baby in the mix. She is just testing the boundaries because she has been the only one for a few years. Make sure the visitors give her attention as well as the baby and this will make her feel good. Once the baby comes, let her help you out and this will help her transition to the new arrival. It may not be easy but it will get better with time you just have to be patient with your daughter and just try to help her understand what is going to be different. Congrats on your 2nd baby and good luck.

Sounds like she's going through a phase, and just wanting the attention and control.... ride it out, make her feel secure so she doesnt have to go through extreme measures. You can act cuckoo yourself and go lock the dogs up and push dad away and grab her up, and have dad do the same thing. Sometimes when you mirror them, it will make them "get it", and the phase will stop.
Congrats on number 2 :)

My son was a bit of wreck before his brother came. He cried every time we dropped him off at preschool, he just seemed sad and unsettled which broke my heart. I tried to do for him what I would want someone to do for me in that situation; lots of attention, lots of snuggles, lots of affirmation about how important he was and would always be to him mom and dad. When the baby actually came he snapped out of his funk almost immediately. He was anxious to be a brother and to see what that would mean and now that his brother is here everything is going great. The only problem is that he thinks, "we should have lots and lots more babies!"

My daughter was 23 months when my son was born, and one thing we did for her is we bought her a baby doll. She had fun taking care of her "baby" while I was taking care of my son; she even lifted her shirt up to "feed" her baby while I was breastfeeding my son. We got her the baby doll a few months before her brother was born, and I played with her a little bit (showing her how to hold the baby, put the baby down carefully, feed the baby with her bottle, etc.) and she had a baby stroller to push her baby around in. She loved her baby and took it with her everywhere we went. It's nice because it's a way to get her used to a "baby," it encourages imaginative play, and it's a new toy for her.

Also, it might be nice for your husband to take her out on a father-daughter outing. It'll be special attention directed towards her and encourage her to bond with him. And if you have any relatives nearby (like grandparents) you could ask them to take her out to the playground or something fun so that you can get some rest and she can get used to having fun with other people (not just Mommy all the time). After the baby is born, you could try to make some time every day (even if it's just ten or twenty minutes) where you are completely focused on her (while Daddy has the baby, of course). She probably just senses that something new is going to happen and not sure how to handle it; once you have the baby and she adjusts, it'll be better. I know some people say that you shouldn't have children so close in age because they'll fight, but it always depends on the children; mine are pretty close and play together all the time (and, of course they fight as well, but no gaps in age will prevent that). Good luck, and congratulations on the new baby! :-)

I feel for you--my daughter is turning 3 soon and I am 8 months pregnant. I'm a little spooked about her reaction, especially since I am her primary caregiver and she is used to having her family daycare friends around while I work taking care of all them. Just having her and the new baby home with no one else to distract her is a little frightening. What has helped make my daughter's rxn better has been lots of books about new babies that also address the needs of the older child. There's one in the Mister Rogers series called The New Baby that is helpful. That and Julius the Baby of the World and other fiction stories about the new baby experience. In my experience, my daughter has really responded well about this situation and other emotional situations by having her feelings labeled "Its alright to feel jealous of the new baby". We have talked alot about how the baby will need mommy too and that daddy will need to be able to take turns with me more to help take care of her (she also balks alot at getting help from daddy). I have had to let her know rejecting daddy to get me to intervene will not work and that she has to let daddy help too. It she has a fit, we both ignore her and when she seems calmer ask her if she would like daddy's help yet. Sometimes it is a long process but she gives in and we reinforce the idea that she is a big girl and that she needs to understand mommy can't do it all. Lots of talking through her feelings and putting a name to them (frustrated, jealous, angry, sad) and also not giving in when she tries to reject daddy. I know it is hard and I'm sure my kid's overall good attitude now will be in turmoil when the real thing arrives but laying the foundation by making sure she understands the ramifications (at least somewhat) and the emotions she may feel will make it a ton easier. Good luck--Also--maybe find some special times during the day that she can have your undivided attention. I added some extra lay time in bed with her before nap and bedtime I did not do before when she was in a crib to give her that extra cuddle time she seemed to need. When she does the rejecting or shutting of the dogs, you can explain that that behavior is not acceptable but also let her know you understand she is nervous about the new baby change and that it is okay to be nervous or anxious or angry but it is not okay to hurt others.