Help! My Daugter Is Too Loud When She Plays!

Updated on November 14, 2009
S.T. asks from Dublin, OH
11 answers

HI everyone, I'm hoping you can help me. I have a wonderful 7 year old who the light of my life. She's loving, caring, responsible - everything you could ask for. My concern with her is that she's becoming the very, very loud when friends are over - at my home and other people's homes. I talk with her about it, we go over the rules, we even do time-outs, but she continues to be very very loud. I have even warned her that if she continues to scream and yell, that her friend will go home, and five minutes later, she's yelling again, and the friend goes home. I am worried for her because I feel like she's becoming the ill-mannered child that no one will want to have around because she is so loud. Any ideas on how to correct this? Thank you!

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C.S.

answers from Canton on

Relax mom!er It's her age! My son and the girls I babysit for do the same thing. So you just take time and redirect the play. Get a book and have story time. Or bake cookies or do something where it's quiet. She's bored when she's alone therefore she acts different when others are around. Do not read more into this. She's NOT a bad child.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Have you had her hearing checked? One of the boys in my son's class at Day Care is very loud, and it ended-up being the result of some issues with his hearing that needed to be surgically corrected. I have always been loud, and my mom used to correct me constantly. I think I just got really excited and didn't know my own volume.

Good luck. So glad she's a wonderful child in all other regards.

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M.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

My Doctor has said to me that a behavior that is sometimes annoying is best to be ignored and it goes away faster. If you keep on and on and on it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. Maybe she gets excited and doesn't know how to express herself. You mentioned her friend has to leave and does so. Does that mean that this whole issues gets exposed in front of her friends and their mothers? Maybe she's being reactive because she's feeling putting on the spot.

I am just thinking of other possibilities.... I would also try your approach if I were in your shoes but maybe now it may be better to deal with it differently. With positive reinforcement.
I find my kids respond better to that sometimes.

Tell her before you arrive that if she DOES NOT become loud, you will reward her after the playdate with something she loves, ice cream....
Let me know if that works!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hey! How did you get your info on my daughter??? lol...she's 7 also, and oh my goodness, when she plays she is also loud. It's really only when she plays though, and I've come to realize that I think it comes along with her personality type. My daughter is definitely a take charge, likes to be in control, little girl, and I think that the loudness during play is more to make things more fun. I've tried talking to mine too, and she just can't seem to be quieter! I've now gotten to the point where I just make the girls play in her bedroom because I can't take all the noise.

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J.M.

answers from Toledo on

Have her hearing tested

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

First I would have her hearing checked.Some chldren and adults get plugged up and then they can't tell how loud they are speaking.
Secondly she is probably just so excited about having a friend to play with that perhaps she just can't control it.This usually happens to younger children and they out grow it.
Using a inside voice is important and must be repeated a lot but it usually catches on if you are persistant.

T.H.

answers from Cleveland on

Well if you are asking her to quiet down and she is not then she is breaking a rule and needs to be disciplined. I think what you are doing is ok and if it is not working maybe you could make her go to her room early and or to bed early. Take away a toy or thing she really likes until she learns to us an inside voice in the house!!!!!!
Good Luck :)

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

First and foremost, when's the last time you had her hearing checked? The people that I know that are too loud, have some sort of hearing difficulty.

On top of that, make her REPEAT in the tone of voice you want, what she wants to communicate. Get her in the HABIT. Just telling her won't cut it. She has to DO it in order to make more of an impact.

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L.H.

answers from Columbus on

Just a thought, but have you had her hearing checked? I had a friend with the same issue as a college student and she ended up needing hearing aides in both ears. After she got them, her grades also went way up!

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

The Only other thing I can suggest to what everyone else is saying is there are more kids that have sensory issues. I noticed my 15 year old was like this week with a friend over. SHe has been sick a lot over the last 10 months so she does not get much social time. IT is like her senses get overstimulated and she does not know what to do. SHe has other sensitivity to certain textures, sounds, and lights. I like the idea of the redirecting to a quieter activity. SHe probably doesn't even know what she is doing. Along with that sometimes people can't see what others see. SO what you are seeing your child is seeing differently.You can read more about sensory issues or sensory integration on the internet I'm amazed on how many kids deal with this problem.

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A.P.

answers from Portland on

Is she hard of hearing? I've heard a lot if people who are partially deaf talk louder.

I don't mean to scare you I just know from experience. (not me) it coukd just be a phase or an ear infection. Good luck!

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