Help! 1 Month Old Sleeping Problems

Updated on October 11, 2009
K.O. asks from Clinton, CT
14 answers

Hello-
I need some advice on helping my 1 month old sleep. She will not go to sleep before midnight no matter what we do. It's clear she's overtired as she wakes from her nap around 4. We've tried singing, rocking, reading, letting her cry, feeding, going for a walk and a car ride. She may fall asleep for a few minutes but then wakes herself. She will eventually fall asleep in our arms but again wakes when we put her down. When she does finally sleep she's good for 4 hours, then another 3. Both my husband and I are at our wits end, and exhausted!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Your daughter sounds like a normal newborn. While you might like to go to sleep before midnight, your tiny baby is sleeping a 4 hour stretch and a 3 hour stretch. Seven hours of sleep with one interruption is actually good for a newborn and for mom. All new parents are exhausted, this comes with the territory. If your baby is awake earlier in the evening but not sleeping, get some rest yourself, your baby can lie in her crib or bassinette and look at her mobile. You are right that eight hours awake is too long, you may be missing the window of opportunity to get her to sleep. However, at this age, the baby is too young to "cry it out" - I don't believe in this at any age but even the "experts" who recommend this method say it is only for babies over 5 months of age.
Good luck, we were all overwhelmed with fatigue at that stage.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Your daighter has a wonderful birth date (we share the same one).
My son is 10 weeks so he is alittle older. He does the same thing. We can put him down at 8:30 with his older sister who is 2 years old. He is up an hour later and wants to play. I feed him rock and do what we can to get him down. He cont' to wake up when we put him down. Recently in the past week he will go to bed at 10;30 or 11 while nursing.
They are too young to sleep train such as cry it out. Your baby wants to be comfort, they're not used to sleeping at night. Try to relax and keep trying here to go down maybe she will soon understand. She will still wake up to be fed.
Good luck,
L.

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Y.O.

answers from New York on

Wow Karen I feel like I'm responding to myself!!! My daughter was born Sept. 3rd also and I have the same problem!!! She also wakes up around 4:00 and then wont go back to sleep for hours. She gets really fussy to eat and wont sleep for more than just 15 minutes or so. I thought newborns were supposed to sleep!! It's just too many hours awake and she is sooo cranky. I'm actually going to take her to the dr. tomorrow to see if she may be constipated or having a problem w/ formula. ( I Breastfeed but have to supplement w/ formula ). I've tried everything you have also. Definetly try swadling it seems to help and the white noise machine and create a calming environment (ie dim lights, minimal noise). Sometimes that works for me. Try a putting her down in the crib swaddled w/ a pacifier and white noise. Let me know if u come up w/ anything. I'm a first time mom as well. Talk to you soon

Y.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

..and you will be exhausted for a long time still mamma! for the first 6 months, my son ONLY slept on his belly on my chest, he had gas and that was the only way to relieve it..nap when you can, there is no book to read, no advice anyone can give you...its par for the course of being a new parent..NO SLEEP! just enjoy your little love and know that one day soon she will be sleeping!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

try swaddling her.. putting her down.. and don't pick her up.. she should be in bed at about 10... good luck.. you have to let her cry it out... try using the car seat in the crib.... or putting her in the swing.. but don't take her out of the crib.... you picking her up.. she will get used to it... after about 4 days things should be better.

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M.E.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Unfortunately this is just how it is with most babies your daughter's age. My doctor told me that sleep paterns aren't usually developed until at least 3 months. We got a great book that has helped us get our twins on track since they were very young. It's called Healthy Sleep Habits, by Dr. Weisbluth (not sure if that's the right spelling). I know the last thing you probably want to do is read a book, but he is extremely helpful.
Good luck and congratulations.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,

Have you tried bathing her at night. I know alot of mom's bathe in the morning but I always did baths at night. By doing a bath at night I believe you are setting up a night time routine and it also can be very relaxing. Also, one month is really young to create any type of routine. My kids slept maybe from 11-4 if I was lucky but really didn't settle down before then until about 6 weeks old. I would try the bath at night and just try to be patient. I know how hard it is when you are sleep deprived but most times babies fall into a schedule at their own pace. Good luck!!!

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H.L.

answers from New York on

are you kidding me you don't know it yet but your the luckiest mom to have a one month old that sleeps four hours straight! Even if it's not till 12 get ready to hop right into bed at that point and get some sleep! Her sleep schedule will change all the time you can't do much to change it at that age. And sleep when the baby sleeps if your husband works have him
To to bed before you so he can be fit for work you can catch up during the day. Ggod luck!
From H.

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D.

answers from New York on

Welcome to the world of motherhood. That being said, this is normal for a 1 month old. They aren't ready to sleep train yet, she's to young. And sleep comes randomly. Unfortunately, you have several more months of sleeplessness. The average for sleeping through the night is 6 mos. Longer then that if your breastfeeding. This is totally normal. Both my kids wouldn't sleep when they were this young unless they were touching me. Let her sleep in bed next to you. Set up the pack and play next to your side of the bed. Every night once she's asleep, move her into the pack and play. If she wakes, move her back to bed next to you. Eventually she will stay in the pack and play. Then once she has slept in the pack and play a couple weeks, start the same process with moving her into her own room. She is still adjusting to her new environment. Give her time, and sleep when she does. But this is only the beginning.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Have you tried swaddling her. Unfortunately, at four
weeks, very few babies, have regular sleeping patterns.
Sleep when you can and know it will get better. Good
luck and enjoy every moment.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

My youngest started sleeping thru the night at 3 months - my oldest on the other hand not until she was over 1 - the best thing i could suggest to do would be to try to cut naps back to get her to go to sleep at night a little earlier (if last is at 4 then push it back gradually) . The best way i found was to be very consitent w/a schedule - it takes a while, but honestly it is hard until they sleep thru the night - i think my husband & i suffered from sleep depervation the 1st year of my oldest daughter's life! To have her sleep 4 hrs & then another 3 is pretty good - i think both my girls were on a every 2 hr feeding schedule during the night. it's hard, but u'll get there - just try not to expect it too soon - good luck!

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C.F.

answers from New York on

I know this is a super hard time! The good/bad news is that this is exactly what they all do at this stage. I would suggest you pick up the following book. http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp... The book has been very helful for me so that I know that I'm not doing anything wrong. :)

The book explains the changing sleep patterns for babies at each stage - the reality is that at this age they have a very late bedtime. Around the 3 to 4 month mark they start to get an earlier bedtime. Then you can expect more like a 9 PM bedtime.

Please don't beat your head against a wall - just expect that it will go on for a few months and then it'll get so much better!

EDITED TO ADD:

I see that some are suggesting you let the baby cry it out. That is not something you can do until they are at the very least 4 months old. That is very dangerous advice they are giving you.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear K., Welcome to motherhood. Congratulations on your baby girl. At one month old your baby will be sleping and waking all day and night. You will not have much straight sleep so you must grab naps when she is sleeping. Soon she will have her days and nights in order. Be patient. I have 5 and I survived many sleepless nights. If dad needs to get up for work he needs to sleep. Maybe he can take over on the weekend so you can sleep a little. This time sil pass. Grandma Mary

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