Having a VERY Hard Time Going Back to Work

Updated on May 09, 2008
T.M. asks from Los Angeles, CA
8 answers

My son is 5 months old and I just went back to work two weeks ago. I am having a very hard time not being with my son 24/7. My mom is taking care of him while I am at work but I still am very unhappy. I have to work as I am the one in the family that carries the health insurance and I can't afford not to work. I never dreamed I would have this hard of a time. Does it get better? And if so, when?

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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

It does get better. I had to go back to work with my first when she was 11 weeks old. Isnt it crazy how much we miss them when we are away from them? You are lucky your mom is watching him and you know he is in good hands. I know at first when I went back I called several times a day to make sure everything was going okay. For five months you were with him all the time during the day and its hard to change any routine in life. Give it a couple of weeks and you will start getting use to your new routine of working during the day. I'd suggest just checking in on breaks to ease your mind (which Im sure you already do) and give him lots of squeezes when you get home. Just feel comfortable that he is in good hands and try to relax a little bit. Try to enjoy your workday and just look forward to the sweet reward of seeing your little man when you got off work. Hope that helps. It does get better and it wont take long. Take care - K. :)

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C.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi T.,

Did things get any better for you since your post? I know it's been a few months.

When I got pregnant I fully intended to go back to work. I was an insurance agent for eight years. After my baby was born, I couldn't leave her. I just couldn't do it.

Have you looked into any at home businesses? I found something great. I'm not a pushy sales lady. No pressure or anything like that. I'd be happy to chat with you about it if you are interested or just curious though.

Just let me know. Good luck to you!

~C. Smith
www.enhanceyourwayoflife.com

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L.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

T.,

I want to tell you that you are a strong woman to return back to work. I couldn't do it personally. However, if I had my mom to watch my kids then it wouldn't bother me as much. I didn't return to work because I didn't want a stranger watching my babies. You are very lucky to have someone you know (especially your mom) watching your baby. Just be stong and it will work out. Good luck.

L.

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J.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

well i only can say is hang in there. Be strong and think that at least your mom is there for you and you are leaving him with not a stranger person. Remember grandma will take care him.
Regards
Josie

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Tayna, I'm new to mamasource and I just read your post about not wanting to return to work. I know your post is a year old and by now you you may have found a home business or returned to work. I recently started my own home based business selling Mia Bella Gourmet Scented Candles. I love burning scented candles in my home and these by far are the best smelling and cleaner burning! This company offers an excellent compensation plan and you can focus your business or retail, fundraising or team building. If you are searching for a home business I'd like to invite you to visit my website and take a look at the products. I've included other links below for you to look at at your own convenience.

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J.E.

answers from Sacramento on

T.:

I can so understand your feelings. I put my first son in daycare when he was 5 months old after being at home with him since birth and not leaving him with anyone else for more than maybe an hour. The fact that your mom is watching him should give you some peace of mind. I work 30 hours a week so I am lucky that I can pick my son up by about 3:30. It was really hard the first few months but as he became a little more independent (could sit up, could play on a play mat, etc.) it became easier knowing that he wasn't fully relying on someone to keep him entertained / happy. I can't think of anything to make it easier but just know that it does get easier and as your son gets older you'll see how much he enjoys being around others and you will (I promise) cherish some non-baby time and this is coming from someone who is obsessed with being with their baby 24 hours a day :) One piece of advice that I would have is don't dwell on it when you drop him off in the morning. I spend a few minutes getting my son situated and we have a goodbye ritual and then I leave and I don't ponder the fact that I'll be away from him all day otherwise I would be sad. The few times my husband has dropped him off he said it was hard to leave him - I said I know - you can't think about it too hard. Give it 2-3 months and see how you feel. If you can get a modified schedule at work that would also be great. Your feelings are totally normal :) Good luck.

D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I understand your pain. I am working by choice now but there was a time when it was no other option. What I can say is just have pictures of him on your desk and just call your mom through out the day to check on them. Other than that, only time will heal the initial pain. I think all moms who have to go back to work deal with this separation issue. Is there a daycare provided at your job, if so, see if it's cheaper to have him there and that way you could stop by and see him during lunch breaks. Is this a long term thing? Are there any state medical benefits that you could get for him that would allow you to quit your job and stay home with him?

I would suggest also writing out a plan, how long do you plan on working, is there any way your spouse can get insurance after a few months, does the state offer benefits for your son? Write all those things out and see what your options are. See if you can work part time. I know that in the state of Illinois if you work at least 20 hours a week, you can still qualify for full benefits.

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H.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

T.,
I"ll be honest I couldn't do it, after 3 months I had to come home and work from here. Luckily I found something that worked and I could actually do with the kids underfoot. Perhaps you can find something that works for you too. I pretty much only work with stay at home moms teaching them how to work at home successfully, we offer health benefits too (although limited when you first start).

Good luck, there is a lot out there

H.

http://wisemommy.fourpointmoms.com
http://wisemommy.fourpointconsultants.com

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