Do you go to your friend's family members funerals to show support if you've never met their family member that passed away?
I guess everyone does diferent things but I wonder what is normal.
For instance if a good friends dad dies do you and your spouse go the funeral if you've never met the dad to show support
or what if a good friends spouses dad dies -same question.
For M. unless the friend doesnt have a spouse or signifigant other I wouldnt think of going but instead call them offer to be there for them ask if they needed anything, excetera unless I met the person that passed away before then I would go to pay respect. To M. it J. feels like funerals ae for people to say goodbye and unless they didnt have someone there to support them I wouldnt think of going as extra support. I would feel like I would be intruding on their families goodbye ceremony, But now I wonder if I'm rude.
BTW this hasnt happened to M., it was a conversation I had with my bf and hes gone to even friends new gf's parents funrals and I didn't realize people did this to show support
fortunately i have only had this happen once so atleast i wasnt a jerk and non supportive to many people...i'm glad i asked
When my father in law died, my sisters and some of my friends came to the wake/viewing. The never met my FIL, but were there for support. It's been almost 5 years since he passed and my husband still talks about how nice it was and how good he felt to see them there in support. It really meant a lot to him and still does.
I would J. go to the wake, if there is one.
I go if I think it will be helpful to the person I do know. If my friend or family member will be glad I'm there - then I'm there.
we always go to funerals to support loved ones, whether it's friends or family.
Ooops, okay, let M. rephrase that: we go to the visitation. We attend the funeral/memorial if asked to do so.
If it's our family or our close friends, then we do it all + provide food & support thruout the entire time period & beyond. Funerals are a big deal for us, & has always been thru past generations. I am very proud to say that both of my sons have a high comfort level with death & all it entails.
Probably, most likely, yes.
It's not J. about grieving the loss of the loved one, it's showing support and love for those they've left behind.
So 9 times out of 10 I would, although to find a friend who's parents I haven't met would be pretty tough ;)
Funerals aren't really for the deceased person but for family to gather & pay respects. They love the support of friends even if they didn't know the deceased. I have attended funerals of friends loved ones many times not for the dearly departed but for my hurting friend. It meant a lot to them that I came.
Yes, if I can. When my boys were young, it was not always possible.
I probably would not go to the spouse's though unless we were also friends. J. send a card.
It really depends on the nature of your relationship. If you don't want to go to the funeral how about the wake? Generally I call it visitation but here in IL I guess it's a wake. Stop by with a card or small donation and pay your respects. If you are really uncomfortable with that then send a heart filled sympathy card expressing your thoughts!
I would go to wakes, not funerals.
yes, i would go to the visitation, prob not the funeral. unless it was a super close friend whose family member died. then i would probably go to the funeral and/or the visitation. we go to show support for the person, and to say, "sorry you're sad/lost someone, etc." i think it makes people feel good to know so many people care that they are hurting.
Yes, we often attend visitations especially if it was a parent, and when the times comes I know we will appreciate if others do that for us. We have been through LOTS of extended family funerals of our own and I believe it to have been both an encouragement and a "distraction" to have people who love us come to show support for my parents during the loss of their parent, sibling etc.
Yes I do. I believe that the funeral isn't for the dead person, it's for their family and friends and going shows support. If the only people who went to funerals were those who actually knew the deceased, they'd be pretty small affairs.
One of my brothers died in October and I was really touched by the people who came to his wake and funeral. People who know only M., or only one of my parents or siblings, came to give their condolences and it was very touching and helped a lot. In J. the past year I have gone to funerals for one friend's grandmother and father and another friend's mother.
I'm Catholic and the general expectation is that most people go to the wake and then the funeral Mass is generally attended by close friends and family, so when I say that I go, often it's to the wake and not the funeral Mass. But if someone is of a religion (or no religion) that has J. a single funeral or memorial service, I go to that.
If the viewings are local, we attend as many as possible, but not the actual funerals. There was one that we missed years ago, when our son was born prematurely. There are times when only one of us can go to represent our family unit. Sometimes we send flowers for display at the viewings, sometimes we hand the friend/family member a meaningful token that they place in the coffin, sometimes we make a donation in the deceased's name - that all depends on how well we know the deceased and the person we're supporting.
I used to think that viewings were no place for children, but there have been times when both my husband and I needed to go and could not find a sitter. Our friends MUCH preferred us going with our son, than not going at all, or only one of us going. He also did some cheering up for some others. But not every situation is the same.
