Foster to Adopt, Agency Vs. State.

My brother and SIL adopted the first foster child they had and it went through the state. It was a long drawn out process but we are so happy for her to be in our lives now.

In their situation, she was 6 months old and found on her mom's dead body. The only family were those who wanted her for the $$ funded by the state (of course the state found that out during their investigations). She was about 2.5 when everything was "official" and she starts K next week.

It is an emotional roller coaster going through the process.

They have had other foster children who ended up placed back with families or adopted out.

Best wishes to you.

We're working through our state agency. It may be more "heartbreaking" through the state agency, as the first goal is always reunification with the birth family. Many times the private agencies are working with kids who's parental right have already been terminated. Suggest talking with someone from both sides and seeing which you're more comfortable with. Also suggest reading "Adopting the Hurt Child" and "Parenting the Hurt Child". Foster-Adopt is not for the faint of heart nor is it the "right way" to build a family for everyone. Go in with your eyes wide open. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. We've been foster parents for a couple of years now .... Only one placement, many calls for placements that didn't pan out (which was for the best), and in the process of adopting our foster son now. Best wishes.

Hi K. :)

If you need any help discussing the ups and downs of foster care, please don't hesitate to PM me! I have been a foster parent thru the state/county for 3 and a half years and have learned a lot in that time!

I don't have any knowledge of fostering through a private agency. I can tell you though, that if a child is in foster care, there is no guarantee, no matter which route you choose, that you will get to adopt. I have had six placements and adopted one (just got word yesterday that we are moving to adoptions for our foster son, though! Soooo excited to be able to say I have two kids that are mine!).

Keep in mind that the goal is ALWAYS reunification. Parents are given every opportunity to get their children back. Sometimes they do what is needed and their children get to go back home. This is a good thing! Sometimes the parents won't do what is needed, or simply can't due to mental health issues or developmental issues, and if that is the case, after a certain amount of time, the courts will grant custody permanantly removed from the parents. DCFS will then be responsible for finding the children a forever home. Please note that you will NOT be next in line at this point. Even though this child has lived with you and you have put in all the hard work, you will not be next in line. DCFS will explore every option they can find to place the child within their birth family. If there is a grandparent, aunt, cousin, etc who is interested in taking on the responsibility of the child, they will be given the option if they are a stable environment. Once those options are all explored and ruled out, you as the foster parent (if your license is foster/adopt) will be given the opportunity.

It can be a super long process, but so worth it in the end!

If you're wanting to adopt, I would recommend the state. The foster kids I've worked with (as a CASA) were placed with foster families and very quickly eligible for adoption. So, it's certainly possible for it to be efficient.

Though, sometimes they do go back to the families, of course.

We went through the state agency for adoption. The agency "placed" a child with us with the understanding it was for adoption he was six weeks old when he came to our home. However, before we could begin the proceedings there was a six month window. By the time the adoption was finalized the baby was a year old.

I always had the fear in the back of my mind that the mom would want to come back and take the child back. She would have had a tough fight getting him from me. Yes she gave birth, but I was the one who spent the nights up and lost the job and nurtured the child.

It has been an amazing experience. He is now a grown man with a family of his own. He has never wanted to find the biological mom or dad.

Good luck to you.

The other S.