Hello all you wonderful mommies out there. I am just going to vent on here so if it makes sense great but if not then you know why. My husband just left for work this morning and things are like walking on egg shells. I am trying to calm him down and ease his stress by making things less stressful around the house and massaging his feet etc to help ease the situation. For my sake and the two kids sake that we have together. In addition to that we have his two kids down from out of state. I informed him on our financial siutation and that it would raise the bills for 60 days and he thought I was being dramatic but in the end it did. Our grocery bill went up double, all utilities went up double and etc. We were already in a financial situation and now even in a more financial situation. And with getting all 3 kids ready for school, school clothes, school supplies, school shoes and the socks and underwear, backpacks and etc we have no money left. And purchasing the plane tickets for the kids to go back home has given us a real blow. He is very stressed that I feel he may experience a heartattack because he is in his mid40's and has had issues with that before. He is in the mortgage industry so sometimes he gets paid and sometimes he does not. Since April his checks have only be 300.00 bucks every two weeks so I have been living frugal and don't mind for the family. Now he received a check after rent and utilities we have a hundred bucks for 2 weeks. That I can probably manage but he has other bills and not enough money........whoooo that was long and if you got to this part thank you here is the next part and why I am writing this.
We have four kids in our house right now ages 3,5,10,12 his are the older ones. We have groceries for a week maybe longer because I am making casseroles so they can last longer. Bills due we can not pay and have no idea how we are going to pay rent for August and our complex was nice enought to let us pay July's rent yesterday and not charge us fees but now we need to ask again and we don't think they will understand and may think we are trying to take advantage but now. So do you moms know of any organizations around here that I could go to to ask for assistance and get immediate assistance? Or just any advice? Know of any great mortgage companies hiring in Arizona? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am just freaking out because my husband is freaking out and I want to try to ease the situation because kids can sense tension and stress and I do not want any of the children to worry. Thanks. All we are needing help with from an organization is about 300.00 to get us by for everything. So not much but much for us right now. Thank you again.
Thank you to all the moms that responded. Your words were very encouraging and it was nice to hear support from somewhere. Today I am going to check out all the places you wonderful moms have recommended and will update you further. Things over the past few days have been better with my husband and he has been less stressed but I think the support is what helped him remain calm. But thank you for being my shoulder to cry on.
Dear mom, try St. Vincent de Paul, they are a Catholic charity organization and I know for a fact they help struggling families with groceries and rent money because they are very active at my church St. Bridget in Mesa and because they have helped my husband's renter with rent money when he couldn't come up with entire amount. Try the Catholic church nearest to you or look them up in phone book, they are all over town. Good luck to you!
I am so sorry to hear the stress you are facing right now. Kudos for you for trying to hold the family together and for caring about your husband and family.
I don't know where you can get money, but I have some ideas for earning/saving some because my husband and I have also been in a tight spot before. Do you know anyone who would pay to have their house cleaned? Family who was not struggling financially would always hire me when they found out I was willing to do pretty much anything to earn a buck. When they could see that I was willing to work hard they would give me extra stuff to do like wash their car, babysit, etc. The little bits of money can add up quickly, especially if all you need is $300. My mom wasn't rich, but had more than we did at the time, so we worked out an arrangement where she would pay for the food if I did the work grocery shopping and cooking for both households, and then my husband and I would eat for free that way and didn't have to buy as many of our own groceries. Growing up my mom always babysat other children to make money while still staying home with us children.
Beans are super cheap, super healthy, and super easy to make. I make a large pot and freeze half for future use, then eat the rest of it all week. First I'll blend some to make refried beans and we'll have tostadas. Then we'll have burritos the next night, then taco salad another night, and with the rest of the pot I add some canned tomatoes, corn and veggies, and spices (and a tiny bit of meat if you can afford it) to make some chili and cornbread out of the rest. Bountiful Baskets, a food co-op, is a great resource for buying inexpensive produce. It's volunteer run and they cut out the middle man (grocery store) and for $15 you get a large, overflowing basket (I bring my laundry basket to bring the food home in) of half veggies/half fruit that lasts my family two weeks. I love the variety (you don't choose what you get) and freshness. My sister and I split it sometimes because it's so much food. www.bountifulbaskets.org You can google recipes online and make your own laundry soap. It's much cheaper. I make the dry version since it's easier than the liquid version. It doesn't work as well as commercial laundry soap since there aren't as many chemicals and stuff, but it works. I throw vinegar in the washing machine for fabric softener and I promise it does not make clothes smell like vinegar one bit. Many people use vinegar if they have allergies. It can also be used as a cheap, nontoxic cleaner.
And one other money-saving tip which might make the biggest difference -- if you're struggling paying your rent, maybe find a cheaper place to live. We lived in a crappy tiny apartment in a crappy neighborhood for a couple years, but it was what we could afford and was less stressful than living in a nicer place that we couldn't afford.
Good luck! I know you can get creative and make it happen. I'm rooting for you guys! Please give us an update in the future with how it turns out :)
The only help that I can offer is I know of a place that offers low cost food. Check them out. https://www.angelfoodministries.com/
Also, I want to give you a little support as you are doing a good job keeping your husband calm. I know you feel like you are walking around on egg shells, but the fact that you are not confronting him and fighting about the situation is awesome. I have a good friend in the same situation and I think they are going to end up getting divorced because all they do is fight when he is home :-(
I wish I could do more. Good luck.
You are a very supportive wife - your husband is lucky to have you. Don't forget that this is stressful for you too, and you need to take care of yourself. You won't be any good to your family if you "fall apart."
We had a temporary financial crunch at the end of last year and I had to get on WIC. When I went in to sign up, they told me that I was eligible for all sorts of assistance at that time. From what you've explained about your finances and current income, you may apply for assistance (WIC and food stamps). You can apply for them online. Once you get started on that - it's a lot easier to get all other forms of assistance as well.
Good luck and take care of yourself!
Good for you for asking for a push in the right direction. My husband and I have been hit hard by the economy as well and the stress level in my house has been pretty high the last couple years. I know what you're going through.
My church regularly takes food donations for "Open arms care center" in Gilbert. It's a food pantry that serves the Gilbert area. They also work with Paz de Christo that provides a daily meal service and food boxes. Maybe either of these places can help you reduce your grocery bill. I don't have the contact info on hand but if you can't find it, send me a note and I'd be glad to get it for you.
Have you ever considered a work from home job? I recently started one to help with our finances. It's legit and doesn't require you to carry inventory, take orders, collect payment or make deliveries. It's pretty much just marketing the company. There are many husband and wife teams that do this as their sole income and are very successful. If you'd like hear more, send me a note and I can give you more info.
Good luck with everything. Keep your spirits up, it will all work out in the end. :-)
