Extremely Picky Eaters

I went through the same thing. My kids would only eat 19 foods. A whole bunch of those were fruit.

My youngest is extremely sensitive to smell and taste. My oldest is so fastidious he didn't want to play out in the backyard because he might get dirty. There are obvious sensory sensitivities at work.

That being said, I just went ahead and started cooking a wider variety of foods. I serve some they like and some they don't. If they find something revolting, I wait before re-introducing it. And they just have to eat one bite. If they do -- yummy dessert. If not, no dessert. Try to alternate foods they'll eat with foods they don't.

Also, if you're trying a new food at breakfast, don't feed them something new at lunch or dinner, too. And it might help if you get them to help you prepare it.

My older one refused peanut butter until he was well into his eighth year.

I use to have that problem with my daughter when she was younger, now 17. But I found out the things she wasn't eating for me she would eat at her babysitters house. Difference, I was the pushover, and gave her what she wanted--the babysitter didn't. After a few meals of "this is what is for dinner, eat or go to your room" she stared eating.! It was hard for me, but eventually she got the hint. I never made her eat things I wouldn't eat (liver or the such,) but she did ok. Also I tried making meals fun, like shape meatloaf in fun shapes. Also my best friend has a son who is the same way, when he is here and she is not, he won't eat anything, but he eats it when his mom is around. I make him a plate and tell him if he gets hungry its on the table, but he's not getting anything else. Its takes him a while, but he eats it and lives!!

HI J. IM NOT A BELIEVER IN MAKING CHILDREN EAT WHAT THEY DONT LIKE. SO IF YOU MAKE SOMETHING YOU KNOW THEY ABSOLUTELY DONT LIKE THEN OK MAKE THE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. OTHERWISE MY SUGGESTION IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE. YOU HAVE TO PUT THEIR PLATE ON THE TABLE AND IF THEY CHOSE NOT TO EAT OK. THEY WONT STARVE THEY WILL EVENTUALLY EAT WHAT YOU GIVE THEM WHEN THEY REALIZE THE EAT OR THE GO HUNGRY. IT SOUNDS A LITTLE CRUEL BUT OUT OF THE FOUR OF MY CHILDREN I HAVE ONE WHO WAS EXTREMELY PICKY. AND I ALLOWED THIS UNTIL HE WAS 8 THEN I ASKED THE DOCTOR. HE GAVE ME THIS ADVICE. I FOLLOWED IT AND A YEAR LATER HE FINALLY EATS VEGETABLES AND FRUITS. HE DOESNT EAT ALL(SPINACH BROCCOLI ETC.) BUT HE HAS MORE VARIETY NOW.GOOD LUCK STEPH

I have several suggestions one is I have always told my kids to always taste the food a good taste take a good size bite chew it up and swallow it then if you dont like its ok!!! but never just turn your nose up at it before you try any foods but watch them do it kids can be very tricky lol. Second you don't run a restaurant so make them sit at table weather they eat what you fix or not kids won't starve themselves they will eat when they are hungry no matter what you fix as long as they drink don't worry about the food just keep putting it in front of them if they don't eat it when you put the food away put their food away with it sooner or later they will get the message that eat whats put in front of them or they can go hungry. Its to stressful for you to have to fix all kinds of different things everyday just for 1 meal. Besides if they happen to stay at someones house for whatever reason its rude not to eat whats offered to them. I advise you to teach them while they are still young and it won't happen overnight it will take time just be persistent. don't yell or nothing just be firm tell them eat whats in front them or go hungry and don't let them up till everybody is done with their meal they may get totally upset because they are not getting what they want just show them their tantrums won't work don't let them up lol it will be hard for a few nights but it will stop when they realize they are not getting what they want. good luck on this

All I can think of is Bread and Jam for Francis. Figure out one thing they will eat and feed them only that. They will get bored with it after a while. Don't play into this power struggle, they know they are winning ;)

As someone else said, kids won't starve themselves. Offer a very wide range of foods, maybe even things you don't like yourself. And remember, human beings all over the world eat different things. In the US, we eat lots of fat and sugar and processed foods, and somewhere in there, we've also decided that our kids favorite things are foods like mac and cheese, pb&j, pizza, etc. I grew up in an Italian community, and we ate lots of fish, tons of veggies. I offered the same to my kids when they were growing up. My boys loved things like mushrooms and brussels sprouts. I have a foster son from Korea, and he eats all sorts of interesting things, including dried squid legs. He considers that a treat and has been eating them since he was little. So what makes a Korean kid love seaweed and squid, but an American kid only wants cheese? There's no physical difference, it's cultural.
So make the food culture in your house varied. Offer different things. Don't fight, but don't become a short order cook, either. Prepare good meals and they'll eat what they eat.
One thing I did with my kids was provide a snack basket on the kitchen table ever day. I only put in healthy snacks for them, a fruit or two, some crackers, maybe pretzels, raisins. That sort of thing. I didn't overload the basket. I just put in enough for two or three snacks during the day. I did have to make separate baskets for each child. It wasn't an unlimited supply of goodies, just a few things to tide them over. Sometimes I'd put a little treat in, or something completely different that they never had before. The idea was that the basket was open to them whenever they wanted to eat something. But, it wasn't restocked during the day. If they ate all the snacks first thing in the morning, there was no more for the rest of the day. If they ate the snacks instead of meal, so be it, but the snack basket was not refilled. It gave them a sense of independence, and over time they learned to portion out the food throughout the day. It also saved me the trouble of having to go and get them snacks all the time, but still allowed me to control portions and what they were eating. When they got used to finding things they liked in the baskets, I'd add different thing, maybe some dried apricots or some new veggie. (You can also make baskets for the refrigerator for cold snacks.)
Just offer a lots of different foods, don't fight and don't worry! :)

Hi J.,
I think your mom is right. I have four children who are 8, 5, 3 and 2 years. I make what I want to make and they eat it or they don't. I just can't make four different meals every time. I try to put something on their plates that I know they will eat, usually cottage cheese. Kids will not starve themselves to death. It may take a little while, but eventually they'll start to try what you offer them. Good luck!

Have you tried having THEM make their meals? My stepson is often picky, finicky and seems like he'd be willing to starve than eat - meal time is a MAJOR battleground with him and one thing he loves to control. BUT, I've found that letting him make the meal (either adding the sauce on his spaghetti noodles, making the PB&J sandwich, stirring whatever, etc.) suddenly turns that meal into the *BEST* tasting food on the planet!!

Try it!

I chose not to read the other responses before I posted my own, so I apologize if this is repeated, and also if it sounds harsh. In my house, kids eat what we eat, period. If they are hungry, they will eat. My rule of thumb is this, I won't make something that I know they hate, such as my son dislikes all fish, so if we're having fish for dinner, he can have a hot dog & then whatever sides we're having. On the other side of that, it might not always be their favorite, but it's certainly nothing that's going to make them gag. They also have to try everything at least once, otherwise I'm afraid they'll end up like some adults I know who turn their noses up at anything other than a cheeseburger, which to me is ridiculous. I refuse to spend the money or the time on making 2 separate dinners every night. My daughter goes to bed hungry quite often because she is extremely stubborn, but trust me, when she's hungry enough, she eats whatever is put in front of her. My son went to bed hungry 1 time only & learned his lesson, that I'm really not going to make him something else, he can either eat, or be hungry until morning. Life is tough sometimes, but I feel like I'm fair to everyone by handling mealtimes this way. Hope it helps.

I feel for you with going back to work. I also feel for your attempts to make your kids eat. I have been there. What I have to say is similar to the others. I make the effort to prepare things my kids like each day, but those things will be healthy the majority of the time. I keep the junk food to a minimum and in small portions. I make it clear that I am not a short order cook. I serve everyone the same meal at dinnertime. If they don't want to eat - fine. They still have to sit with us for awhile. Then they can leave, but no dessert. They are allowed to come back later and eat their dinner, and later dessert if they eat the amount that I designate, but I do not go to the effort to warm it up. My kids learned that they got a nice warm dinner at dinnertime.

They say you have to taste something on average of 14 times before you aquire a taste for it. Keep putting small (teeny) amounts of new foods or undesireables for them to taste or at least lick. Then give lots of praise when they do it.

One idea to add to having the kids cook is having the kids start a small vegetable garden (or herb garden that fits in the window sill for winter - like those Chia ones). Then they can use those in their cooking. Then they can enjoy watching you eat it! You can pretend that you need encouragement to try it. Kids love role reversal!

When you put foods on their plates, put ridiculously small portions on them. Kids can get really overwhelmed with what we would think would be a good portion and lose their appetites. This could be a win-win because it's alot easier for them to be successful eating and please you and they are getting healthy food.

You could try a small plate of "dips." My son likes to dip raw carrots in ketchup - I know it's disgusting, but he eats it. Some "dips" you could put in quarter size dots on a plate are soy sauce, ketchup, mustard, maple syrup, mayo, ranch dressing, or melted cheese.

Schedule the snacking. Don't let them eat just anytime and anything. That can ruin the appetite and aid in too much weght gain. Doctors say limit the juice to 6 oz. per day and there is a limit for milk too, I forget that one. Fluids can fill a kid up fast. I used to not let my kids drink until they have eaten about half of what I thought they should eat. I still use that rule at restaurants. I order their drinks to be served with their meal only and they have to eat first. At home during dinner they drink just water, which is what their bodies need anyway.

Check with your doctor. It is possible that a physical problem may be to blame as well. Some kids have reflux and mealtimes are horrible for them. Your kids also may be referred to a speech therapist if they are having speech delays as well. Sometimes kids can have extreme sensitivities to textures - not just food but other things that go in the mouth too. The speech therapist would work with decreasing that sensitivity with brushing techniques and mouth exercises.
Good luck to you!
J.

Hello J.!
I have a 7 yr old daughter that is extremely picky as well! And she is stubborn as well...I know that I have put food in front of her and she just wont eat, no matter what is said or anything! She only likes a certain type of food and lord will she down some candy! I put her on Vitamins and "tried" Making everything that would at least appeal to her, but that isnt a wide variety, and thats what our family like! This is what I had to do, that was inexpensive and that way I wasnt making a whole othe entree for just her! I took her to the grocery store and would show her the T.V. dinner entrees from Banquet! Not the kiddie ones...there are nothing there and the price for them are OUTRAGEOUS! The banquet ones are better in my eyes! But I would make what the rest of the family would eat and she would get her TV dinner that she picked out! And that worked for me! Then after a little bit her range widened, just a bit! But I hope that helps...I know it isnt easy! Please let me know what worked! Maybe we can help eachother out more!
Thanks!
Oh and just to let you know, I have tried the method of making her eat or go to bed without food, and just to let you know, depending on the severity of the stubborness...My daughter would go without for a week at a time...Only at dinner tho...But she was on vitamins, so it was comping for it! But when kids dont like something, they just dont like it! I know I did, and everyone else did it for something!