It is time to start thinking about signing my daughter up for summer activities. Spots fill up quickly. She doesn't want to participate because she knows she isn't going to be great at things right away. She is only 5. She'll turn 6 in June. But, I know she is going to complain that she is bored this summer and she is going to ask why her sister is going to such and such activity and she isn't. Well, because you said you didn't want to take a class, my dear...
I don't want to force her to do something she really doesn't want to do but I also don't want her to never try anything because she thinks she'll "mess up" She's a bit of a perfectionist.
So my question...have you signed your children up for something even though they claimed they didn't want to do it and, if so, how did it go?
She has shunned soccer, dance (I had a previous question about signing her up for dance but then she decided against it), gymnastics, dodgeball, t-ball, cheer/pom, etc.
I haven't signed her up for anything. The activities I mentioned are ones that are available that she says she doesn't want to do. The past two summers she did an art class twice a week for a month and then a science class twice a week for a month. They do the same *exact* activities every summer (week one: clay,/planets week two: string/bugs, etc.) so after two years of doing to same things, she doesn't want to take those classes and I can't blame her.
I think a multi activity thing would be good for her but sadly the only programs I have found thus far are for children ages 2-5. Everything else seems to be of a physical nature.
She will be doing a reading program at the library and she will be helping with our vegetable garden. So I think what I will do is give her the list of options and tell her she needs to pick one that interests her. The programs only last 3 weeks or less so if she doesn't like it she will only have to tough it out for a few weeks.
Thanks, parents!
I signed my son up for a soccer class (at age 5 - prK) - he refused to participate - ended up not ever participating. I lost my money.
The year before he had participated in an all sport type class - but I'd say his participation was limited.
I've learned my lesson. I am not signing any of my kids up for classes they are not really interested in taking. It is a waste of money. :)
Nope, I would not force my DD (also 5) to do something that she doesn't want - and honestly I would not want to pay for an activity and then she barely participates and whines about the entire summer... no thanks.
Let her pick something, anything, from a list of things. Don't just consider sports, maybe her interests are in other activities. Here we have sporty camps, art camps, language camps, acting camps, science camps, zoo camps, park camps and just "play" camps... all of these will do outdoor activities even if their primary focus is not a sport.
Not every kids excels in an organized sport...
Good luck!
What about non sports activities, and less structured stuff? Our community center offers classes in art, music, cooking, computers, science/nature and carpentry. Most of the classes start at age 4 or 5. They also have something called "kid's camp" which is a half day program where they do different activities each day, go to the park, library, fire station, they play lots of games, sing songs, do crafts, etc. My kids liked these things FAR more than the sports and dance stuff when they were little (they didn't start getting into sports until they were more like 8 or 9, the age when most kids are really "ready" to understand teamwork, skill building and competition.)
And of course swim lessons and spending time just playing at the pool.
Honestly not all kids are "into" outside activities. We spent many hours during the summer just playing with friends, going on hikes, visiting the library, park, zoo, beach and local science center.
In my home we don't let the inmates run the asylum, meaning the kids really have little say especially at her young age. Since you discribe her as a bit of a perfectionist please help her not set herself up for a very depressing existence because she won't try something because she may fail at it and do it all wrong. We learn more from our failures than our successes.
What activities are her friends from school going to be participating in? Sometimes it is easier to get them involved when you have them with a group of their peers. (Yes I do believe in helping my kids choose their friends).
I think a summer day camp experience may be just what you need for her. Every day is filled with new and exciting things to do. If she is particularly strong willed about not trying something new then she doesn't get to complain about being bored. If she says she is bored then remind her that she choose not to do any of the things you were trying to set up for her.
I signed my children up for karate, dance, day camp, swimming, basketball, football etc. Once they begin participating they learn to actually enjoy the activity or at least the company.
I have my son (4.5) in Jujitzo, he said he did not want to do it, but his body language said something different. He generally likes it now.
Do you have swim lessons? That is something that you are not supposed to be good, that is why you are going! My kids are fish, they love the water.
Not sure if you have it in your area, we have daycamp where they do different things with the kids. You can try that.. it is camp, not T-Ball, etc.
What about voluntering at a local shelter? Or something along that route.
Give her a list of options that you've preapproved, and let her choose. If you want her to do two activities, say, "Here's what's being offered. You can pick two! It's just for fun, and the only way to GET good at something is to actually do it."
And no, I've not signed my children up for something they didn't want to do.
There are NON sport activities available...maybe you ought to search for some of those. Not every child wants to be involved in a competitive sport (and even though it's "just for fun" they are ALL competitive.) They have art classes, science classes, reading clubs, etc...all sorts of things. Check with your library for the appropriate resources.
It sounds like you've signed her up for a lot of activities that require physical coordination. And not everyone has coordination to spare.
Would she be more comfortable with an art program? A music program? Something at a nature center or something?
I would start with swim lessons and leave it at that. It's important to know how to swim.
What I have done is make a list of available activities and tell them to choose one. That way they had a choice instead of being stuck into something. But they had to choose something, not nothing.
If she's feeling insecure about the options, let her view some youtube videos of the options and even try her hand at them. But part of these activities is learning how to learn, and that it is okay not to be perfect so long as you are trying.
Can you find her just a general day camp where there isn't a focus on a specific activity? My son (who will turn 6 in May) went to a general camp last summer and loved it. They did coloring, other crafts, played on the playground, read books, played board games, sang songs, etc. He really loved it and is planning to go back this summer three mornings each week.
Does she have a friend that she can sign up with? That might help, too, since she won't feel alone.
I really think a general camp is best for her. It doesn't sound like there's a specialty camp that she's ready for this summer. I just read your SWH - I can't imagine there isn't a general camp out there. Our city offers tons. Can you ask other parents at her school, especially those with older siblings, what they have done?
Is there a YMCA or a Boys & Girls Club?
What about a camp where the schedule changes daily so that kids get to try a variety of things then if she doesn't like something she will only have to do it for a day or part of a day.
If it's not a matter of child care, I'd look for other activities that might be once a month or something. Our local park and rec program has week-long events as well as one day activities. And there's always the parks themselves, the pool, etc. If she doesn't have a specific class she wants to take, then I wouldn't waste the money. My DD will have plenty to do this summer. She's taking a 2 week summer camp at her current preschool and then we have our own vacation, the pool, our Meet Up group...
Boys/girls club. At first my son didn't want to go then he begged me to take them when they opened and pick him up when they close. He loved it and was exhaused every day.
Try getting her a membership at the Y, then she can participate in the drop in activities and see what she likes. She can try things out and she isn't obligated to go if she doesn't like it.
I don't think you can give them too much of a choice when it comes to these things. With DD, we are doing one activity per season and trying to find out what her "thing" is. So far, soccer and jiu-jitsu are a no-go, so we're on to Cheer right now. The thing is, kids in this age range are so fickle, loving one thing today and changing the very next day. The way you are letting her have so much control, it may prevent her from ever figuring it out.
Go to the virtual backpack at iowa city community school's website they are adding summer things in the area all the time. The university has some wildlife camps that look fun. Or there is a place called taproot that has some outdoor camps. My daughter did Safety Village last year and loved it!
