Expecting- Too Much??

Updated on January 05, 2011
A.L. asks from Magna, UT
12 answers

I'm expecting baby #3 at the end of this month or begginning of next. How much do you expect your husband to do around the house and such when you're down to the bar on your pregnancy with two other crazy kids running around? Just curious- I feel like I'm expecting way too much out of him and I'm getting frustrated when things don't get done but then I realize that I didn't ask him specifically to do it. I feel like an ogre. Just a little background: He goes to work at 5:30 am, comes home around 5 pm, and usually cooks dinner because he likes cooking as a way to unwind {I know I hit the jackpot on that one ;) }, and usually won't let me deal with the mess of clean up afterwards because he wants me to put my feet up. Then we get our boys to bed around 8 and usually watch a couple episodes of something on tv or netflix and go to bed around 10/10:30pm. Then when I wake up in the morning the dishes from dinner are all out because he wouldn't let me do them the night before but it's not like he's done them either. I know this sounds minor and dumb to worry about but it's something along these lines every night and I seem to be better at worrying and stressing while pregnant.

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU!!! I so appreciate the honest reminders that I have it great and I need to appreciate him more! This is exactly what I needed to hear for sure! Now if you've got some suggestions on what I can do to try to SHOW him my appreciation that would be great! *keeping money out of it if possible- we're on a tight budget with a new baby on the way* THANKS AGAIN

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Yes, you are expecting too much. Do the dishes before you watch t.v. at night. I have also found that if I ask my husband to do something, it gets done. If I "imply" or "assume" it doesn't.

If you want him to do something, ask- but it sounds like he's already pulling his weight around the house, so I wouldn't push too much more!

1 mom found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like a good situation and a good husband. I guess...I don't see what the problem is. He comes home, takes care of you, and spends time with you. As a woman with a wonderful husband myself, I say count your lucky stars. I know plenty of woman, that would give a lot to have husbands like ours. Every day I remind myself, that some woman out there is being abused, neglected, ignored, cheated on, insulted, controlled...and I have a kind, loving man who values me. Not such a bad life. Dishes aren't something to worry about, when you think of just how blessed you are.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

Ok so let me understand you. Your husband is out of the house working for almost 12 hours a day, then cooks you dinner and you are upset because he didn't do the dishes and encourages you to rest at the end of the day? If this really bothers you then just say how much you appreciate him but its easier for you to do the dishes while he watches the kids. He should be spending one on one time with them anyway. You are a lucky lady.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Wow! A husband with a job that cooks and helps with the kids?!? If the dirty dishes in the morning bug you, then do them at night. And be sure to tell this man daily what a wonderful husband and father he is!

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I.L.

answers from Alexandria on

Congratulations on your pregnancy and it being nearly over!
Double congratulations on having such a wonderful caring husband!

I think much of what you are feeling comes from the stress of the pregnancy, which as you well know just amplifies everything! Talk to your husband and explain how you are feeling. Tell him how you appreciate how he wants to reduce your stress and let you relax but it stresses you out more to not have it done. Maybe you can come to a compromise of getting the afterdinner clean up done together. Then you can both have time to relax together and you don't get stuck with the mess in the morning.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Sounds like you've got a good man! Next time you try to do the dishes and he won't let you say, "Thanks babe, I am very tired. Are you going to do them for me? I hate having dirty dishes sit overnight."
Make sure you use your sweetest voice and put on a beautiful smile.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Your husband sounds like mine! Hard working, loves to cook and let's me relax. He sounds like a great hubby! I'm sure he's tired too, and it sounds like he's doing his best. Dishes can wait.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Yep expecting too much!!! Plus you've got whacky hormones so everything bothers you!! Believe me I can relate....! Take a deep breath and relax and enjoy putting up your feet. Are you working fulltime? If not, I would say that you've got it pretty good. If you are WFT, then 50/50 of course with some more emphasis on your hubby assisting. Believe me there is a huge difference when #3 comes along....The help will be more important that I know after I had #3. Congrats!

A.G.

answers from Houston on

yeah, id say so. I was doing everything while i was pregnant.I could barely get my husband to lift a finger. Your husband sure sounds like hes putting in alot.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well some of it depends upon whether you both work outside the house or whether you have elected home/child care as your job. If you both work out of the house then why is he 'helping you' it's both of your home and kids and both of you are equally responsible. That said, our rule is he who cooks doesn't have to do the dishes (we both work). If you have elected to stay home, then I would guess that pretty much all the housework that occurs while he is out is your responsibility and everything in the evenings and weekends should be shared. So I guess, if he cooks you get the dishes. If you want to cook sometimes, say so.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Nope not asking too much at all!
You are down to the wire with this new love, and you need to take it easy!
Asking him to do the dishes from dinner is not asking too much at all in my opinion. Like you said he wont let you do them, but he didnt do them either, so its like a contridiction. He wont let you do them at night but has no problem letting you do them in the morning? Its alot of work being pregnant and with the two others. So ask him if he minds cleaning up the dishes after dinner then relaxing. Or let you help at least if you wanted to.
Your hubby sounds sweet, he should understand :)

Congrats on the new baby!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You've got it pretty good. Just do the dishes before you put your feet up. I hate the thought of waking up to dirty dishes! Yuk.
Hang in there--the end is in sight!

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