Eating/Sleeping Schedule

Updated on February 05, 2008
T.M. asks from Pecos, NM
60 answers

I have found a lot of good literature on parenting and birthing, but am still looking for a good book that will help me get my newborn on a sleeping and eating schedule. I don't want to be too rigid, but know that a schedule will be best for baby and mommy. Any suggestions on books or methods that have worked best for your family?

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M.W.

answers from Albuquerque on

I also used the book Babywise and actually went through two of the classes. Both my kids were sleeping through the night around three months. You can't be too rigid, but need to be consistent. My second child had her days and nights backwards and it still worked. It was hard work but I kept going. Boy, was I glad I did! Both my kids have been great sleepers in their own beds! They are now 7.5 years and 6 years old. I was a better parent with getting my sleep.

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J.M.

answers from Orlando on

Hi! I read Babywise and found the advice to be very helpful. However, I felt comfortable enough tweaking the methods a bit also. I agree with you--not too rigid. You have to be somewhat flexible. If I remember correctly, the book's authors agreed with that too. My only sad discovery has been that the ideas are much easier to implement on a first child than on any subsequent ones, because you're not as "in control" anymore. It is hard to keep a toddler from waking up a new baby, etc. It was wonderful for the first one though, and some of the scheduling methods still work on the next babies, just not all of them. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Someone gave me a book called Babywise and it was wonderful. It was very easy to implement and really worked with the baby's own rhythms and needs. Good luck with everything!

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A.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Congratulations on your baby! Having a baby will be a huge change, and nothing like you expect! That is why I would be very careful with scheduling.

I too thought it would be the best thing for our family when I was pregnant with my first. I am very organized and schedule-oriented myself, so I thought it would be natural. I tried to schedule feedings/naps, but I couldn't handle the sound of my newborn baby screaming for me. I decided I couldn't do it, and that I would just feed my baby when she was hungry. I felt like a total failure and was in depression for about a year always worried in my mind if I was going to raise an undisciplined child because of my lack of sticking to a schedule. But I knew it just wouldn't work - my daughter was a very "high needs" baby and she needed the comfort.

Breastfeeding is not just for food, but for bonding and comfort as well. It is best to let them decide when to eat and just respond to them. This builds a bond with the child and establishes trust. I was worried I was teaching her to use food for comfort, but she didn't see it as food but comfort and love. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and has no problems with food.

I know "Babywise" is a very popular choice, but if you decide to go that route please use it with extreme caution. Scheduled feedings if you are breastfeeding can actually dry up your milk and put your baby at risk of failure to thrive or dehydration (not to mention the lack of bonding that can result). Please look at www.ezzo.info (ezzo is the author of Babywise) before you decide to implement their plan.

I would strongly suggest not counting how often the baby eats/sleeps - let them eat when they are hungry, sleep when they are tired. Don't count the minutes or try to plan it out - just relax and enjoy the baby. You will find that they will go into their own schedule that they will adjust automatically depending on their age. And if you get a high-needs baby the forced schedules may just backfire - they really need lots of love and attention. I would also look into getting a sling/baby carrier and sleep with your baby. Everyone gets A LOT more rest co-sleeping and it makes breastfeeding a lot easier. Relax, don't worry about when they "sleep through the night" (this is not a competition to see whose kid can sleep the best).

Ultimately every baby/mother combination is different. No one book is going to be able to tell you the magic formula. You have to use your motherly instinct and do what is best for your family. Just make sure to thoroughly investigate the pros/cons of any advice before you implement it.

Blessings!

A.

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V.D.

answers from Grand Junction on

Congrats on entering mommyhood! It is such an unbelievable blessing! As for a great "sleeping" book, I can't remember the exact title of it, but it's by The Sleep Lady (go to sleeplady.com or the sleeplady.com and you will find it!). I have three children and boy do I wish I had her book with the first instead of the last! She is wonderful. What I like about it, is that it's not a miracle quick fix approach. Her approach takes a lot of work, but works amazing. I've tried the other stuff, and if it sounds to good to be true, it probably won't work. As for a schedule. Newborns/babies seem to go through one growth spurt after another, meaning that their sleeping and eating schedule is not consistent. It's best to try to be pretty flexible and understanding that your baby is going to want to pretty much eat and sleep alot, and a "schedule" might be easier to work on once the baby reaches three month. If your lifestyle allows for it, just try and relax and let the baby do what the baby is going to do. Enjoy being a mom, know that it is going to be tough, tiring, and emotional for both of you. You will both be new at the whole ordeal! I am a full time stay-at-home mom, so my schedule allows for me to let my babies nurse whenever they tell me they are hungry, not the clock. Allow them to listen to their bodies. And remember, when they are that little, there is a lot of comfort and security that comes from feeding time (regardless of whether you are nursing or bottle feeding). If you are looking for additional resources to add to your library, I STRONGLY recommend Dr. Harvey Carp (Karp?)- Happiest Baby on the Block (if you haven't already come across him yet). Again, another DVD I wish I would have had with the first one! Best of luck in your new journey!!

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H.G.

answers from Denver on

T.,
I recommend books by the Sears Family, especially the Baby Book. I do NOT recommend an eating schedule, especially for young babies. Babies are in an environment(in the womb) where they drift in and out of sleep whenever they want, and if we try and control that and tell them when they have to sleep and when they are allowed to eat, I believe that this sends a bad message to our babies. Instead, feed on baby's cue, wear your baby in a baby carrier, and they can continue that cycle of eating and sleeping when they need to until they are old enough to handle more direction. Breastmilk is low in protein, and babies need to eat frequently- just think of all the energy that is needed to grow a baby and then having someone else dictate to you what needs they feel are worth meeting at what time they feel is right. Babies know what they need, all we need to do is listen to our babies and do our best to meet their needs.
I would love to talk with you more about this. Unfortunately, as well-meaning as it is, there is a lot of information out there that is detrimental and devasting to our babies. I am not saying that I do everything perfectly, but I do follow my babies cues, allowing her to build her trust in me (and setting up a pattern of trust for the rest of her life). For other books that I recommend, go to www.naturalchoices4baby.com and go to the library section. Just because baby is born and in the outside world, doesn't mean that they are quite ready to tackle on the outside world all at once. And sometimes what baby needs isn't what is most convenient for the parents, but I feel that baby's needs need to take precendence when at all possible.
My biggest piece of advice, something that we all too often don't pay attention to is, listen to your heart and intuition. Books cannot compete with a Mother's intuition and you don't need to read "x" number of books in order to know how to parent your child. Just follow your heart and take everything you read, hear and see with a grain of salt!
Congratulations on your pregnancy- this is such a wonderful time! Good luck on your journey to Motherhood!
H. Gaitten

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S.S.

answers from Pueblo on

I believe that newborn babies have their own schedules, and it is best to follow your new baby's cues, with feeding and sleeping. Feed when hungry (especially breastfeeding, because breast milk is used much quicker than formula in a baby's body, it being the perfect food and all) and let them sleep when you sleep, or when they need to sleep. If they are turned around and awake at night a lot, being outside can help set sercadian rythem, just a few minutes in the morning and after noon, well bundled up, can really help.

Good luck and don't stress too much, you and your baby will figure it out.

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

The Baby Book by Dr. Sears is a good book, in general. Each child comes capable of creating their own schedule/routine, which we tend to forget. I always ask... what came first- The books about scheduling, or babies? God didn't create babies with a manual about scheduling, know what I mean?? So.... what I am trying to say is don't stress it too much! Babies are great self-regulators!

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B.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Honestly, I never read any books on the subject. My take on it is, no books know MY baby. What I did with my two boys is kind of follow their cues. You'll be surprised at how regular they can be. When you get an idea as to your baby's feeding needs, then you can work a schedule on that. Especially in the first few weeks, feeding on demand is key. Little ones go through growth spurts where they sometimes need to eat every hour (especially when nursing), and you want to accommodate them. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would suggest reading BABY WISE. It talks about how to get your baby on a schedule and routine and how important it is for you and baby. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for us.

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

"The Baby Whisperer" is a live saver! Enough said! :)

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J.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I also think Babywise was the best! I have twins that are now 2 1/2 and someone gave me the book after they were born so I didn't do it until they were 10 months, didn't have time. Boy, was that long over due. So, I just had a baby boy, he is 5 mos. He started sleeping 8 hrs like told and on his own, now he is sleeping through the night and we are on a great schedule. I know that he is well nurished. I know that there are reports out there about babywise and that it is cruel, etc... However, I would like to explain. I have read through all of those things and most of what people say is actully false. I think they aren't aware that the books works on parent directed feeding, reading hunger cues and all, not just clock watching. Good luck!

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C.R.

answers from Tucson on

Hi T.,

On Becoming Babywise was a fantastic book that has set our now 2 year old on a wonderful, FLEXIBLE, schedule since she was 3 months old. The schedule was so flexible that even with hospitalizations and chemo days, she would fall right back into the schedule when we got home. She puts herself down for her naps and has no problems sleeping through the night. With any "parenting technique" that you get from a book, one has to use common sense. You'll know what your baby needs and how the baby is responding to the schedule.

I tried the "on-demand" technique and was absolutely exhausted!! That's not to say it won't work for you though. Good luck finding what works best for your family.

God Bless you and congratulations!

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A.W.

answers from Denver on

I really liked "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg when my kids were babies. Like you, I wanted some sort of schedule, but nothing too rigid. My husband is a pediatrician and that is one of the books he recommends. Good luck!!

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M.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Hey T., follow your instincts. For now, don't worry about it too much. At my baby shower the other Women did an advice book. So many offered: If the baby is sleeping, let it sleep. As a newborn Erin would sleep 3-4 hours at a time and I'd let her (against the feed every 2 hours directions) She is still a great sleeper most of the time. At 3 months we started with a bed time routine. By 6 months it should be solid then you can do a mini routine at naptime. Let your baby tell you when it's bedtime with her clues, rubbing eyes, laying on the floor, getting clumsy or cranky, for our daughter high holy bedtime was 8pm for a friend's it was 6pm, but once you pick a time stick to it!!!! My baby girl is 2 now and we have very little trouble at bed time. We started with a book and breast feeding until she was DROWSY but not asleep. once she got teeth, we'd brush 'em, pj's, books and bed. that is still our routine. We were visiting some friends one night and dinner ran late and Erin said, " it's bedtime". my husband looked at his watch it was 8:07. Early on in the nap schedule I would put her down and she'd cry. I couldn't stand to hear it so I started running the vacuum. The white noise puts her right out. My son is alomost 10 months and it works for him too. Naps have always been flexible in our house (2.5 hours after they wake up and again around 3 in the afternoon) I am getting to 2 pm being high holy naptime for everyone but we are not there yet. That was what has worked for me. Good luck!

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G.C.

answers from Tucson on

Hi T.. I found "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth to be helpful. I took information from both and did what worked best for us according to what we were comfortable with. We had great success with sleep schedules, and I am so thankful for that, especially since I work from home and counted on certain times to get things done. Hope this helps. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

You might check out Babywise by Ezzo and Bucknam. It has worked great with my daughter. It has the potential for being rigid if you let it, as is with any schedule, but my daughter was sleeping through the night at 2 months of age. She's now six months old and she knows her routine and it is easier for me to assess what she needs.

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S.F.

answers from Reno on

Hi T.!

When my first was born, my pediatrician gave me the best advice about eating/sleeping schedules. She told me to nurse William every 2-3 hours, even if I had to wake him up to do so. She said the top two reasons babies don't sleep at night were that 1) they weren't tired because they napped all day and 2) they were hungry. She said if we never let William fall into a deep sleep during the day and fed him regularly, he would be tired and full. On his six-week birthday, William slept through night and has been doing so every since. William will be 14 in April!

My experience with William wasn't a fluke. We did the exact same thing with our second son and, sure enough, on his six week birthday, Christopher slept through the night as well. Christopher still sleeps through the night and he turned 10 last week.

The doctor did say that once babies hit 12-15 pounds they don't need the nighttime calories. Both my boys were over 9 pounds at birth, so they were definitely at 12 pounds by their six week birthdays.

We didn't find that either boy was cranky or ill-tempered during the day. They did nap like normal newborns, but by waking them up every 2-3 hours they never fell into a deep sleep.

I hope this information helps. Good luck!

Regards, S. F.

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H.A.

answers from Phoenix on

There is a great book that I used with my second child...I believe it's called Baby Wise. But if not I'm sure you can google that and it will come up. Anyway this book teaches you how to get your baby on a eating, playing, sleeping routine (in that order). The problem with most moms is that we feed our baby and then put him/her to bed, thus the baby now associates eating with sleeping. Then it becomes very difficult for the baby to go to sleep unless he/she has been fed and basically falls asleep with the bottle (bad for the teeth). With Baby Wise, your baby will learn that eating time is for eating and sleeping time is for sleeping and the two are not connected. I will warn you, it is difficult in the beginning but it is so worth it! I have a now 5 year old boy who was sleeping through the night, in his crib,at 8 weeks old. To this day, he is a person who wants to be in his bed, instead of always trying to work a way into mine! Good luck!

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L.H.

answers from Denver on

I'd suggest reading the Baby Whisperer and Babywise books. I thought Baby Whisperer was easier and less rigid, but so many people love Babywise, it's worth reading. You'll probably find some good takeaways from both.

A word of advice . . . read a couple of books to get ideas, but do what works for you and your baby and don't stress over it too much. If you feel like you need to help your baby fall asleep by giving a bottle or holding him/her for awhile - go ahead! We helped our boy fall asleep when he was a baby. He naturally grew out of that as he got older started going down without any help after his first year.

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

Try Smartmamma.com 2 great books for eating & sleeping

M. mother of two boys 5yrs & 7months

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M.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Try reading "To Become Baby-Wise", the title is something like that. Its a good book, but don't be upset if your baby isn't one of the babies that is sleeping through the night by 6 weeks old. I thought my baby would get the schedule down, but sometimes they just have their own schedule. This was a nice guideline to follow, and my almost 1 year old does not need anything to go to sleep. I put him down in his crib and he goes to sleep. There is some wisdom to this book really, but don't get upset if it doesn't happen EXACTLY how the book says it will!! You can find the book on Amazon.com. Good Luck!

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C.L.

answers from Reno on

Well here goes it, lol we have a 6 week old baby girl who has been on a feeding schedule of every 3 hours since we brought her home from the hospital. Although we have a schedule we do go with the flow of things around here no matter what I think the schedule may be her little clock has a different idea. My best advice is discuss with your doctor what the best schedule is as far as feeding times and length in between those for you and your cild. The sleep comes with the territory to start and after that set a schedule that fits well with yours to spare you and baby stress and fatigue. Then set the plan into motion, but dont be so rigid as to beat yourself up over being a little off that schedule every now and then or if it seems like the schedule isn't working. New borns will want to be hunrgy sometimes every hour or every three hours. They are gonna want to sleep all the time or not at all for a few hours. It varies for them from day to day. We have set times we feed no matter what but that doesnt mean baby girl isn't hungry for a snack in between, we have a time of nite the house is calm and quiet and generally she resting and relaxing then also, but that doesnt mean she isnt awake in the evening every now and then lol. As your baby gets older they will start to be more on a schedule and sleeping longer at nite go with the flow of things and discuss with your health care provider every question you have thats what they are there for and there is no question worth not asking.

Congradulations on your new joy in your life and no matter what a book or anyone says your baby and you will find a routine that works well for the two of you it wont happen over nite but with instincts and time you an your baby will figure it out, take the advice use what works well for you and throw what doesnt right out the door because the only real expert in rasing your child is you and what worked great for me or anyone else may not work well for you.

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K.R.

answers from Tucson on

Growing Kids God's Way - by Gary& Anne Marie Ezzo, is wonderful! Here's the website...

www.gfi.org

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A.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth.

I am so serious when I say this has changed the way my child is as a whole. I have a beautiful 15 weks old little girl that was fussy from day one, I mean seriously fussy! And my sister got a recomend from a friend of hers for this book. I started her on the new sleep schedule and she has been so much happier! She does sleep alot, and that is especially great for a new mom. (She's my first!)
This won't really help with your feeding schedule but it may help you get some much needed rest once your little bundle has arrived! Good luck!

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T.N.

answers from Phoenix on

I read the book On Becoming Babywise about eating and sleeping schedules and it's a big proponent of schedules. It is a little rigid for my liking (so I follow its ideas, but loosely), but it really gave me some great ideas for routines and how to get my baby to sleep which made such a difference for us once we started implementing them. I didn't like completely letting my kids cry and cry it out like the book recommends. I would recommend reading it (take what you like and discard the rest) because of the great ideas it offers, and I've also heard the "No Cry Sleep Solution" is terrific. Babywise gives you an idea of when they'll eat/wake/sleep for the different stages of the first year, and I really like that part of the book.

Bedtime routines are great. We change diaper, read a book, and sing a song before laying our baby down as our routine. As my son got older I added cleaning up toys at the very beginning of the routine. Kids thrive off of consistency, and knowing what to expect next gives them security. I personally like a schedule because I plan outings around it and have a pretty good idea when my kids will be well-rested and fed, so they won't be grumpy.

Getting my baby to fall asleep was a little bit of a struggle, but it became much easier as we followed the same routine every time and just pat her and talk/sing to her when she's fussy instead of picking her up. She learned to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own, so it's worth all the effort and energy.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I personally followed Babywise and it has worked so well for my 6 mo. old.and our family. She is on a schedule and has been sleeping through the night since she was about 8 weeks old. My best friend followed the Sears method and the on demand schedule and it works great for her. So, you'll find what works best for your baby and your family- best of luck!
A.

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L.D.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I liked the Baby Whisperer. It didn't stress me out with a rigid schedule - it's about getting into a routine and taking time to understand your baby's needs.

Best wishes on the upcoming arrival of your baby!

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A.E.

answers from Denver on

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weisbluth is excellent.

Some people I've know have also had success with Babywise. We always thought that the best schedule was a sleep-eat-play type schedule.

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

I loved Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Friend recommended and it worked well for me. Check it out

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H.O.

answers from Denver on

Hi T.. Good luck with in your role as a first time mommy :o) I must say that I am NOT a big fan of all the baby books out there. It seems like everyone is an expert on how to raise YOUR baby. You will soon find that you know your baby better than ANYONE. That being said, I liked the book "Touchpoints" by T. Berry Brazelton and I also got a lot of good info from "Babycenter.com". The first 6 weeks you and your newborn are just figuring things out. It might be helpful to know what kind of schedule is normal... but your baby will dictate the schedule based on when he/she hungry, tired, etc. Good luck with everything. You are in for a great adventure (and hard and challenging... but great :o)

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B.F.

answers from Reno on

hi!

babies shouldn't be on a eating or sleeping schedule until they're around 3 months old. newborns need to eat whenever they are hungry! they may even "cluster feed" and eat every hour. you should never deny a newborn food. also, just let them sleep when they are tired. they are going through a huge adjustment to life on the outside and they are growing rapidly, so they need to rest when they feel tired. the first few months with a newborn can be frustrating, but nurse/feed on demand is best. some babies will develop their own rhythm with eating and sleeping anyways.
oh, one more thing. newborns need to nurse every 2-3 hours and should only have one 4 hour gap during the night. if you are giving formula, you can go every 3-4 hours. but if baby is hungry, feed her sooner!

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D.P.

answers from Fort Collins on

Two other moms have already suggested this book. But, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth truly works. I read many of the other books listed from other moms, but this one is the best. The author will convince you the importance of sleep for your child and then, strategies that can help you. My daughter was really fussy and I just thought that was the way she was. However, once she started taking regular naps and going to bed earlier, she was a changed baby. She is now a great sleeper and I have time for myself while she naps and goes to bed early. I give this book to every new mom that I know.

D.

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Great!!

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R.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I too will put my plug in for Babywise. Used it, loved it, will follow its advice again. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Reno on

I think the Baby Whisperer is my favorite. It's a lot less rigid than Babywise, if that's a concern, but still structured. Check out her books (Tracy Hogg, I think, is her real name), or check out www.babywhisperer.com. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Tucson on

We used Babywise with both of our children (now 6 and 4). They slept through the night at 6 weeks and 8 weeks respectively. In the beginning I was a lot more tied to the schedule (breast feeding every 2.5 - 3 hours), but as time went on and they were settled in the schedule, we were more and more flexible. It's not that you have to be a slave to the clock (you shouldn't be), it's what you are characterized by.

We are a very laid back, spontanious family, both self employed, and this "schedule" was good for us too. It was great because I really knew what was wrong with my children. When my child cried, I was better able to rule things out since I knew more certainly if they were hungry, or tired, or possibly sick. It gave me a lot more confidence as a mother. I have a lot of friends that also followed this method and all of our children were very happy and content babies and toddlers. My kids were good nappers as well.

I think teaching children to settle themselves to sleep is a good lifetime skill. The consistancy takes away a lot of their uncertanty angst. I think I was able to breastfeed longer since I was not so worn down by demand feeding.

If you can find others who are also doing babywise, or have done it, it's helpful to be able to bounce thoughts off of others as you go along. Some churches offer this program. I think they call it Preparation for Parenting. This particular ministry also offers Parenting classes as your children age, but I was not a fan of those. Loveandlogic.com offers great wisdom for parenting.

Good luck and congratulations!

J.

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

T.,

I just watched both of my kids for clues as to what their natural schedule was and worked around it. It is hard to say in advance what will work. My first child wanted to nurse every 2 hours around the clock until he was a year old. My second child only wanted to nurse every 3-4 hours from the time he was a newborn. He was so different than my first that I was waking him constantly to try to feed him. I took him in for his 3 week check up and he was already over 10 pounds so they told me I could quit waking him up. LOL

I'm not big on forcing schedules on newborns. They instinctively know what they need. And if you are breastfeeding, it is better to feed on demand and let them find their own schedule. Otherwise you run the risk of compromising your milk supply and having them dehydrated or malnourished. If you have a sleepy baby, it is certainly okay to wake them every 3 hours or so and feed them until you are certain they are taking in enough milk.

Both of my babies wanted to sleep all day and be up all night. All I did to "fix" that was wake them frequently during the day to feed them and then when they woke at night, I keep everything quiet and dark and boring. I'd feed them, diaper them or whatever they needed but I kept the lights low and didn't really talk to them or play with them. That fixed their day/night confusion pretty quickly.

Anyway, what works for one child won't necessarily work for another. Both of my kids were totally different in what they needed. I highly recommend looking at resources that are based on attachment parenting philosophies and I'd avoid the "Babywise" stuff by Enzo. Babywise has screwed up too many breastfeeding relationships by being overly scheduled and strict.

Other than that, read lots and take what feels good to you and leave the rest. There is no real right or wrong way to do things, just what works for you and your babe.

Congratulations on your soon to be arriving baby!

T.

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G.J.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Definately the book "Babywise". It helped me with my son who was 4 months old and still wouldn't sleep through the night, then it helped me with me three girls. One after the other all started sleeping throught the night at 5-6 weeks. It's a wonderful book--it's not just about how to get your baby to sleep. I found one in a thrift store when I was wandering around, sleep deprived, trying to figure out how to survive motherhood--and I found the way. Probably kept me from pulling out all my hair, braiding a noose and hanging myself from the ceiling fan!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

When your baby arrives you will be able to really get a schedule down. Each baby is so different so you cannot really do it ahead of time. Some babies want and need to eat every few hours, some go longer, then there is napping type things as they get older. Just plan on the first three mos following the babies cues. Until the baby is like 5 mos it is really too young to be on a "schedule". Just plan on after that to get an idea of how long he or she can go without eating, sleeping patterns and so forth. Just once you establish a routine, stay consistent as much as you possibly can.
My daughter I would put her down for the night at 8:00 then she was up every 2-3 hours, I would feed her, change her and snuggle her, so I planned my whole life around that the first few months. My son went longer between feedings, loved being held as a newborn and it was harder because I had a three year old daugther then.
Don't worry too much about schedules until the baby is close to 5 months, you will drive yourself bananas. Congrats and I know you must be so excited! It is a blessed thing!! ENJOY IT

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A.G.

answers from Denver on

I am a first time mommy as well. Several of my friends recommended "The Baby Whisperer," and "The Baby Whisperer Answers All Your Questions" as books that were helpful. I found them to give advice that truly worked for our family. The author is Tracy Hogg. If you want to check a little bit out about her books and methods you can visit www.babywhisperer.com. Several other moms have mentioned Babywise as well which I read and used to a certain extent. It has some excellent information but I do believe it is a bit rigid.

Congrats and I hope all goes well! Just remember what a special gift your little one is even when he or she is NOT sleeping :).

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L.M.

answers from Denver on

Definitely read "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. I used it with my kids and both were sleeping through the night by 8-10 weeks. From Amazon's book description: The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond to any need at any time. It teaches parents how to lovingly guide their baby's day rather than be guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs.

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M.A.

answers from Pueblo on

I LOVED Babywise. I recommend it to all my friends. I used the techniques for all three of my children and it was wonderful. It really helped me not to worry about what they wanted when they cried, I would know if it was hunger or time for bed or so on.
It's a quick, easy read and functions more like a baby guidebook.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Without a doubt, it would have to be Babywise!! I can't recommend it highly enough! I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and I used the method with both my children and it absolutely, 100% worked! My children have been perfect sleepers since between 6 - 8 weeks old ... sleeping 10 hours a night. My friends have used that method as well and with great success. Check out Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

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T.I.

answers from Reno on

When I first became a mom, someone gave me the book called Babywise. I love it. For the most part I followed it. There is also a Babywise II. I am not sure who wrote it (I have lent both of my copies out), but you can get it at any bookstore or baby store. They are both short, quick reads. By the time my two kids (now 4 and 1) were 8 weeks old, they were sleeping through the night. At 13 weeks they were in their own rooms, on a great schedule, and sleeping for 12 hours (7pm to 7am). I breast fed both of my girls for 12 months. They weaned themselves and never had formula. They were both on great eating, playing, sleeping schedules for that entire year. They still have great schedules, but I am a little bit more flexible now.

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J.T.

answers from Denver on

Get the book 'Baby Wise'. Has everything in it that you need to get your baby, once they are a couple of weeks to a month old, on a schedule that will allow you to get sleep and keep them full and rested! I used this with my second child, a girl, and she was sleeping through the night 8 hours by the time she was 12 weeks old. But don't despair if it doesn't work for you... keep in mind that every baby is different. Good luck with everything!

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K.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, I have three children. The best book out there is called "On Becoming Babywise" It is about teaching your child the skill of sleep. It also teaches you how to fo 'parent directed feeding.' I have recommended this book to so many moms all with rave reviews. My children were always happy, well rested kids. People would always say, "you are so lucky to have such happy babies." I would always think, it isn't luck! I have even seen a friend with an out of control two year old that never slept be completely transformmed by this technique. It's about $11 at Barnes and Noble. I think the author is Gary Ezzo. It will be the best $11 you ever spend! Good luck and congrats on the baby!
K.

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D.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Baby Wise is a great book. I actually bought it and didn't read it at first then my friends little boy was doing so good with the whole schedule thing and my son was not. I asked her what her secret was and she told me...Baby Wise. She helped me so much to get my son on a schedule. He stopped feeding in the middle of the night, he learned to put himself back to sleep, and has been a champ about naps. He sleeps about 12 hours per night and his nap now vary for 1 to 2 a day (appx 2 long). It save me!! I was getting so tired and so was my husband. Not to mention my son was showing signs a fetigue as well. I hope this helps you too!!

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello!

We liked this book:
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau
It seemed to use common sense in that it set expectations that not everything is going to go by the book and that these are little people in their own right.
It felt right if that makes sense?

D.

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K.E.

answers from Tucson on

We used the Baby Whisperer and really liked it. It worked great with my first son and a bit with my second. It is just hard to do a good routine it seems with the second one, as you are having to do things for the first as well. :) Anyway, good luck!!

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T.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg is a book I buy for all my friends having babies, and refer my childbirth students to...it's practical and not rigid!!

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S.C.

answers from Denver on

I definitely had a hard time with both my kids in the sleeping department. But if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change much. I never let them cry it out--I think that is against human nature. It also sends a message that their form of communication is not being heard. It takes hard work to be a mama during the first two years and I think a lot of these books try to give you a way out of some of the responsibility that goes along with having a newborn. That said, try reading The Continuam Concept and the No-Cry Sleep Solution. Good Luck!

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G.P.

answers from Phoenix on

It's been a while since I did that, but I think the book is called "Baby Wise", It was very good!! and helped me tremendously on getting my kids on schedules.

Hope this helps
G.

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J.R.

answers from Tucson on

For the first three months, your baby is in it's "4th trimester" (we are born when we are because of the size of our heads, and really need another 3 months before we "wake up" to the world), and during this time trying to impliment a schedule will be useless and frustrating. Feed when the baby is hungry, let him sleep when he's tired (and you sleep when he sleeps). At about 3&1/2 or 4 months, start implementing a feeding & sleeping schedule. I suggest the book The New Basics, by Michel Cohen, M.D. I got a copy at Bookman's when my little one was 4 months and I wanted him to start sleeping through the night. We used the method in Cohen's book, and it worked wonderfully, and at 2&1/2 he still sleeps 10-12 hours straight through the night.

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L.W.

answers from Santa Fe on

Hi, T.!

I am a childbirth educator, and mom to three easy, sweet and wonderful kids.

I always look at the most natural way to do things when it comes to babies. Throw the scheduled feedings out the window! There's no way to know when your baby is going through a growth spurt, pre-growth spurt, or just needing some extra comforting.

Feeding on demand lets a baby know that her or his needs will be met. They won't feel that they need to scream to be heard, or even give up on their needs being met. Babies aren't manipulative...their wants and needs are the same. They only have one way of letting us know that they need something. What message does it send if we don't respond?

One word of caution--beware of books that tout rigid scheduling. The book Babywise has been responsible for babies being diagnosed with dehydration, malnutrition, and even near starvation. See http://www.kake.com/news/headlines/1194881.html
and do your own research.

Being a single mommy will mean that you are going to want to find the easiest way possible to take care of your baby, and my opinion is that following our biology, instead of fighting it, is the best way to create a serene and easy pace. Just let go of the schedule, feed on demand, nurse your baby to sleep, sleep with your baby. Your life will be easier, you'll get more sleep, your baby will be more confident and happy, and you'll have a wonderful experience.

Check out www.mothering.com for natural parenting support, too.

Good luck, T.!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

I loved On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo. It's more about the parent doing what's best for the baby than schedules or randomm feedings. I've done it with both my boys and plan to do it with #3 due this summer. Congratulations!

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

I found the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to be a great book. It is really hard to put them on a schedule at first, so hang in there. I am still not real good at it

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A.K.

answers from Grand Junction on

I had twins and Babywise was the best book in the world. I wish I could tell everyone about it.

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A.A.

answers from Denver on

A book on sleeping schedules that I found to be very helpful with both of my boys from the beginning (now 3 1/2 and 15 mo) is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. A baby's sleep needs changes as he/she gets older and this book goes into detail about each different stage and how to adjust to it. I found it very helpful.

As for eating, the internet has a lot of resources on schedules. Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed will determine a lot, too. For later on one website I found the most useful for 6-12 months, because I really wanted to make homemade baby food is http://wholesomebabyfood.com/. But even if you're not interested in making your own baby food, it is also a great resource on what to feed your baby at the right ages with appropriate menu ideas. The website also has great advice on how to introduce baby to solids and includes links to articles on what foods to avoid before age one and why. I found this website very helpful.

Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Phoenix on

WOW!! you are going to get a boatload of advice on this one. There are so many different books and theories. You should look into them all and find which one works for you. If you are into co-sleeping and infant wearing then Dr. Sears is the way to go, if you are into schedules and routine then babywise is the way to go. If you want to learn the biology of how we learn to sleep and the way to "teach: your baby to sleep then Healthy sleep habit happy child by weisbluth is the way to go.
It really all depends on what you want. don't be surprised if you feel one way now and another after baby comes.

i know many mommies who use babywise and love it and none of their babies have been have been dehydrated, etc..and i know many mommies who let their babies Cry-it-out and their children do not have trust problems and i know many mommies who like sears and their children are not clingy or neurotic..whatever you do, use common sense and let your doctor know what you are doing!

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