Do You Think This Would Be a Wierd Thing to Ask

By all means, send her a note, or better yet, ask her to coffee and run it by her. You may be introducing them to a new start, or if not a new start, definitley another friend and we can't have too many of those. You are sweet to think of them and their happiness. I don't think it's too soon.

Go for it! At the very least she'll say no, but I think she'll still be flattered that you thought of her. Good luck!

I say go for it, link them up. If she is uncomfortable or anything, she will let ya know. It is so nice to have friends....

Wow, what an issue! I think the first thing you should do, if you have time here, is to talk to her.......REALLY talk to her....maybe have coffee or something........get to know her a little better before you try and get into her dating life......she may not be ready.
You can talk about your step dad coming in town, and maybe even mention (eventually, not on your first talk) that he would like to have some one to take to dinner and would she be interested as a friend, along with you and the kids. You don't want to just throw them together alone without some time to talk or meet each other.
You might even include her and some of her friends, but you are running out of time here to get to close to her.......and if you find out she isn't ready to date, ask if she knows someone, she might......and if she feels comfortable with you, she might recommend someone...........
Good Luck.......and have fun......Glad you are getting to see your step Dad and you love him so much........

Dear M.,
If I was you I would drop her an email and tell her about your stepdad. Ask her if she would like to befriend him since he will be coming in July and doesn't know anyone around his age. This doesn't have to be a romantic relationship but a good friendship. That you are not trying to find your stepdad a 'girldfriend' or her a 'boyfriend' but that maybe they can become good friends. If she says no, then just say thank you and don't mention it again. Or maybe if you don't want to ask her you can invite her over to your house for coffee or tea, and try to get closer to her; then you can see if she will be willing to be friends with your step dad.
PS. You can also ask her if she has friends she thinks won't mind meeting someone new and be friends with them.
Blessings

I would ask the lady if the have a older adults group at the church (prime timers it's usually called). Let her know about your stepfather coming to town and let her know he would be interested in making some friend while he is visiting. I would not mention the "dating" or emailing your father. That seems extremely uncomfortable to me. I am sure if they have a group he could attend and find a friend on his own.

Well one thing I know is that the dating pool narrows with age. I am still young but married to someone I was set up with so I am sure glad in my case someone stepped out of their comfort zone even though I was pretty hostile to the whole thing;) My mom has been single for a long time and I would just love it if someone thought to set he up, seriously going through life a lone is not always easy. I think as long as they both love God and people you are fine. Who knows, they could be perfect for each other, and if not, they might just really enjoy a nice date. I say ask! All she can say is no;) And if she does say no, hey my mom is available;) Take care!

I would find this a little odd if I was that woman. Is there anywhere he can go to meet other singles without needing a set up from you, since you do not really know any woman is age?

Sure -if she doesn't want to do it, she'll probably still be flattered that you asked!

You can ask her and then help the 2 of them exchange phone numbers or emails.
They can communicate ahead of time and decide if they want to pursue meeting....their decision.

Are these seniors we're talking about? He has been step-dad for 20 years, and you know her from Mops? She may not have time to show him around if she's chasing after little ones! Or, a proper English gentleman may be just the distraction she needs. lol. If he is a senior, check to see if your town has a senior center. Ours has organized activities year round. They have poker nights, bridge in the afternoons, luncheons, excercise classes, even ballroom dance lessons. Ours has Big Band night and everybody gets dressed up and has a great time. It's a low key, no pressure, inexpensive way to meet people his own age and enjoy the things they have in common.

There is no harm in asking. Just make sure you communicate to her that it is okay no matter what her answer is. Tell her she impressed you as someone that your Dad would like and you think they have some things in common. The compliment will probably open her up to being very truthful as well as asking you questions about him. I agree with Julie, I think she'll be flattered!

M.

Also, be careful not to present it as a matchmaking opportunity. He merely wants to talk to and hang out with someone who can relate to him and vice versa, not necessarily date. See if you can get a group together, a good mix of church folks and non-church folks.

If it was me and you aren't close to this woman I not set them up. Plus you said this is your step father, I wouldn't get all involved in their relationship. Let him meet this or any other woman on his own.

I come from a slightly different perspective than most on this. I think it would be very sweet of you. Explain to her that he would like to have some people in his own age group to visit with when he's here. She might even know some more people he would enjoy knowing. It doesn't have to be a romantic thing, just two people with some things in common (age, death of a spouse, etc) enjoying each other. They can decide if they want it to be more. You could keep it casual and easy by inviting her over for a bbq or something like that, or take him to church to meet her,etc.

I think having the conversation with her in person would be preferable though. Email leaves so many opportunities for misunderstanding.

I would do it. Just tell her the situation....your father would like to hang out with someone his own age when he comes here. Maybe she has been waiting for the opportunity to get out of the house?? Who knows?? Can't hurt to ask.

Don't think it would hurt to introduce the two, if she is alright with doing so.

NO Do not get into that, everyone has their own time line to get over a death of a spouse. When he comes, or just before he comes let the people at your church and your friends know that he would like to have places to go without you with people his own age. There are groups at church that play cards, go to dinner, dances etc. Let him meet someone on his own, at his own pace without you getting involved. This could also cause problems with the personalities of others let it be them that make that a plan for themselves. Remember that you would not like someone to make up their mind of how you should see, and why. This is a very personal thing.....

I think it'd be fine but I wouldn't do it over e-mail - I'd do it in person. E-mail is tooooooo ambiguous - people can read stuff into it. I would certainly ask if she'd be willing to "hang out" with him. You could also ask around your church - don't know his age, but there's always single or divorced women who wouldn't mind having the company. If you're in The Woodlands, I could suggest many - I'm 52 (still married), but we have a women's Sunday School class that is all women who are widowed, divorced or our husbands don't attend church with us. I'm sure other churches have similar classes...

i would actually ask her in person first. if she seems slightly intreasted i would send her the email and let that be it. i would not push the matter any further. your step dad might have someone in mind. there are tons of dating servises. good luck. sorry about the loss of your mother. its wonderful you have such a good relationship with your step dad.

I've read all the answers you have been given and would like to add my own 2 cents. First, you didn't say you were setting them up on a date; you said your stepdad is looking for companionship, a friend. Trust me, she is too. They already have something in common - the death of a spouse. Hers is more recent, however (again) your not setting them up on a date.

When my mother-in-law passed away, my FIL relied heavily on us. Then he moved back to Missouri and although he was close to his brother, he was lonely. He wanted companionship - someone he could RELATE to. He finally found someone to share a friendship with. My grandfather, same thing. After grandma passed, he needed that companionship.

I would stress to her that you are not looking to play matchmaker, she is just the only person you know close in age with your stepdad and they have something in common, including both being Christians. Remember, God does things His way and maybe you are his catalyst for bringing two souls together that need someone to relate to them. Don't feel like you are playing matchmaker, because you are not. There is nothing wrong with introducing your dad to a friend.

I do agree about calling her. Maybe you could meet her for coffee or lunch or something and discuss it with her. You might be very surprised at her reaction. People need to realize that just because a spouse passes does not mean the surviving spouse has to mourn for a specified period of time. They will always mourn their loss, yet it is up to them when they decide to continue living their life. =) God bless you and I'll pray for you and your dad and your decision.

Good morning M.. I would not do it by e-mail. I would talk to her personally. You could ask her if she could possibly take him to church and introduce him to some people that he might have something in common with. As he is a visitor to your country and doesn't really know anyone his age to socialize with. Good luck and enjoy his stay.

L.

If you think they'd have a good time, here's what I would do in your position. If you truly don't know anyone else at this time & she'd lost her husband just last year, I'd approach it a bit cautiously. I might say something like "I know we don't know each other very well & I know you just lost your husband last year & this may seem a bit odd but my stepfather is coming from Wales for a visit. Although he lost his wife (your mother) a couple of yrs ago, he mentioned that he'd like to spend time w/someone about his same age while he was here, would you be interested?" Just mention that it's not really for a committed relationship if you feel the need to say that. Just say that he often spends his entire visit w/you & your kids & he decided he'd like to do other things w/someone else this time. He's just looking for a bit of company, nothing more at this time. You can then offer his email to get to know him beforehand. Hope this helps & good luck!

Nah, I wouldn't do this. If she is at Mops then she must have kids in the picture too. Just too soon, Not a good idea.

I think it sounds great! I know lots of women how if you asked would be willing to show him around town to see the highlights.

I was thinking maybe you could even ask if you could host a coffee for him at church with a group of his peers single men and women.

No one too old.. People in there mid 50's to late 60's...

I always believe in letting people make their own choices instead of trying to read their mind...so just ask the woman. Then she can decide. Good luck and enjoy your stepdads visit.

L.

I don't think she will be flattered at all. I may be the only one that thinks this way...but one year is not very long! If her husband of many years has only passed within the year I think she may just be offended that you even thought she would want to start dating yet. Especially since you have said that you barely know her. I think the person that said to find a "seniors" group in your church had a good idea.

Not weird at all! Go for it! Just explain the situation, give her all the information and let her make the decision to contact him. Also let him know that you gave so-and-so his contact infor so that he is not caught off guard!

Hi M.,
That would be so sweet if they tried it out! There's no harm in finding a friend for your stepdad; where they go from there is up to them.
Good luck and best wishes!
J.

M.,
anytime for some people can be too soon. The problem is everyone is different and there is no way for you to know. If her husband and her were married for SOOO many years, then she is used to having a male companion around. So, I definetly do not think it would be wierd, and I think it could be good to ask her. Just remind her that it doesn't have to be a date, and that you guys can double around if she is more comfortable... then if you step father and her decide later to catch back up, then they will on there own. I think it would be great for both of them. But if you ask her, also let her know that she can say no also, so she doesn't feel bad.

** and everyone likes friendships!!!
God Bless