Do You Still Read to Your Child at Night?

Updated on August 23, 2012
☼.S. asks from Chula Vista, CA
26 answers

Our daughter is going into second grade in 2 weeks. We've read to her pretty much every night for her entire life. She's a great reader on her own now and reading at the 2.5 to 3rd grade level. But this summer, we seem to have dropped reading before bed by the wayside most nights (she is, however, reading her chapter books on her own at grandma's while we work, so she has been keeping her skills up while school has been out). Anyway, she's been preferring to keep at whatever she's doing until it's lights out and we haven't pushed the reading. But it does make me sad! Even my husband commented the other night that he kind of misses reading to her before bed. We'll most likely pick it up again when school starts, but at what age did reading bedtime stories end in your house?

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So What Happened?

Manda,
I know, right? The routine is definitely shortened, so that part's nice. And I don't recall my parents ever reading to me, either! How sad! It was always just 'get in bed.' Oh well, my mom read quite a bit (her own romance novels) and I guess that must have rubbed off on me because I did end up being an avid reader when I was a kid.

---
Love the sweet stories, ladies. Bess, The Hobbit is one of my husband's personal favorites and he and our daughter have read that at least 3 times now in it's entirety. Will definitely check out Princess Bride.

THANKS everyone. I've loved reading your stories and suggestions! And yes, we read tonight. :D

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are in grade 11, grade 8 and grade 5 and I still read to them every night (unless it's a late night due to activities).

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter, now 10 and starting 5th grade, gets read to every night. She now reads at a 9th grade level, but that wasn't always true. She struggled with reading until 3rd grade. So, we read to her extensively every night which gave her an excellent vocabulary and comprehension. Her reading caught up, but we still like the closeness of reading aloud in bed every night.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter reads to me. She would prefer I read to her, but I am trying to push her to improve her reading skills. I have been thinking I am going to lose her interest in me reading to her soon.

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

My dad read to us all the way through our childhood till we left for college. Every now and then, he'll crack open a book and read to us when we go to visit, which I love.

I am still reading to my kids, and my oldest is about to turn 11. I will keep reading to them as long as there is an interest in the stories. For my family (like my family of origin) it's not about who has the ability to read but about sharing enjoyable tales together. There are "older" stories I can't wait to read with them for the laughs and adventures. I anticipate years of enjoying this pastime with them. Incidentally, my husband never had anyone read to him, and he's not one to sit down with a book for enjoyment. But he loves for me to read to him, and I've made sure to share all the books I love and enjoy with him.

If you want a great true story/memoir on this subject, read The Reading Promise by Alice Ozma. It'll make you never want to stop!

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E.M.

answers from Denver on

keep reading. I plan to push it as long as the kids will take it!

but pick things she can't read herself. there is great benefit in hearing literature/text that they can understand but can't comfortably read.

think classics such as CS Lewis (I have to hide these or my kids will zoom ahead - we're in book 4 of Narnia), original versions of Jules Verne, Louisa May Alcott etc.

I have an 11 and 8 year old. Its an excuse for the 11 year old to cuddle with me -cause boys don't do that mom! but reading gives him that time without it being a "little kid" thing. we pick books we all want and can understand. one of their favorites was a full translation (not a kid version) of Swiss Family Robinson - definitely beyond their ability and not one I would have read on my own. they also really like Longfellow - go figure.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We sill do it and our son is 13.
Sometimes it's the best way for us to both read a book we want at the same time.
It's relaxing for both of us (and my husband likes to hear it, too).
If I have a sore throat, then our son reads to me.
I see no reason why reading can't continue to be a bonding time even if everyone reads on their own.
Families use to gather together to read the Bible together.
We just happen to prefer sci-fi.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter just started 2nd grade too and like yours is an avid reader. We read to her every night too until the middle of 1st grade. She wanted to do it herself so we had her read to us. On weekends we let her stay up later and read by herself (she was into chapter books by then) and that just carried over into summer. So now she just reads on her own every night. Makes me kind of sad too as I miss reading with her but as she keeps reminding me, she's growing up. One thing that I've found that keeps that the connection for me (and allows her to practice what she's learned in school about being an active reader) is before I turn off her light I ask her questions about her book. What's happening in the book, who is her favorite character, why did she choose this book, etc. We get that time together still and she doesn't feel like we are treating her like a baby.

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D.B.

answers from San Diego on

My stepdaughters are 12 and 13 1/2 and we all still gather on the couch and read aloud together at night when we can. Their dad always read to them before I was part of their lives, and then I kind of became the designated reader. :) The 4 of us take turns choosing books. Reading together is happening less often as they've gotten involved in more afternoon/evening activities, which makes me sad because I love that part of our day and miss it when we're not able to fit it in. But to answer your question, it still hasn't completely stopped here! :)

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

The stories haven't ended. My oldest turns 11 on Sunday, and though he's a voracious reader, has probably read at least 15-20 books this summer, and his most prized possession is his kindle, I still read to him at bedtime, and will continue to do so as long as he'll let me. He sees this as special time alone with me. We will occasionally read a book that is appropriate for his younger sister (7) as well, and then she might join us, but he doesn't like to do that too often because he values the time just us. After I'm done reading with him, he continues to read whatever other book he's in the middle of for 15-30 min. while I help my husband finish putting the younger ones to bed. On the nights he's not with us (I share custody with his father) I read to my 7yo and my husband reads to our 3yo. Sometimes our 7yo decided to read on her own and sometimes she joins her little brother and father on the nights I'm with my 11yo.

In second grade, there are so many wonderful books out there that are perfectly appropriate but a bit beyond my daughter's reading ability. I would be sad if I could not share The Hobbit, The Wizard of Oz, or any of my other favorites, with her.

Being read to is wonderful. It's something I enjoy even now. And some books are just wonderful and meant to be read aloud. The Princess Bride. Anything by Kate DiCamillo -- her words are like music! There are others, but those are what spring to mind right now.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I stopped reading TO my GD when she was in 2nd grade. For the 2nd grade year, she read to me. Then, in 3rd grade we started having 30 minutes reading time before lights out. So she went into her room and got in bed at 8:30 and read to herself until 9:00. If she didn't want to read, then lights went out at 8:30.

Now she's in 5th grade and reading time is 9:00 - 9:30 when lights go out. I missed it also, but now instead of reading to her, I spent a few minutes sitting on the side of her bed talking to her so we still get that "special time." In fact, one night when I wasn't feeling well, I went to bed early so grandpa tucked her in. The next day she told me she had a hard time getting to sleep because she didn't have grandma tuck her in, talk with her and give her a goodnight kiss.

Apparently it means as much to her as it does to me!

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

Yes, I still read to them. My boys just started 2nd and 3rd grade and although we didn't read every night during the summer (they got other reading time during the day) they just started back to school so we are getting back into our routine again. They have to read so many minutes a night anyway for homework that we do that then too. They read to us for their homework and then we read to them. Usually we read a few chapters out of a book that I loved as a kid (or as a teacher), sometimes we discover books at the library that we pick for our read-a-louds. They would get upset on the nights this summer that we didn't get to read, so I see this going on for several years yet.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Can't remember exactly, but it started becoming a lot more sporadic and a lot less an "automatic" thing when our eldest was in about 4th grade. He was 9 and his sister was 6. By the end of 5th grade (he was 10 1/2, daughter was 7 1/2) it was pretty much done. But daughter was reading her own books at bedtime well before that. She still does. I guess she takes after me.... that's what I did as a child, too. I can remember being awake for HOURS reading when I should have been asleep.... I'm talking midnight, when I was barely out of elementary school, if I even was out of elementary...
Fortunately, our daughter also inherited some of her dad's common sense, and she turns the light out before she is up too late. :)

The reality is that I probably would have continued reading them stories for longer than I did, but the elder child's homework schedule ramped up dramatically, and he and I would still be at the table working when it was time for the younger one to be in bed some nights, and it sortof fell by the wayside at that point.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

My oldest child had a third grade teacher, who had a friend who was home every evening-all the way through high school, because that is when the dad would read to the children-not sure it included weekends-but they treasured this time. I guess my answer is yes-you should read to your child as often as you are able for as long as you are able-it is a most remarkable privilege.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

My daughter just started first grade and she reads to me at night (I help when she needs it). She has been reading at first grade level and is now reading chapter books. My mother always worked so she never had the time to read to us so I will do it as long as my daughter will let me hang out on her bed before she goes to sleep. She also reads on her own when she is bored and on the toilet.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We read to our daughter through middle school, then we all began reading to each other. I actually read every book our daughter ever read through about 6th grade. She loved being able to discuss them.

I could not keep up with her reading after that. But we as a family all continued to read to each other. We started really listening to books on CD in the car..

I am still friends with all of our daughters school librarians, the elementary librarian said to never quit reading out loud, it helps with their comprehension and listening skills. remember in College, listening and the comprehension from the professors is constant. If they are used to listening to detail.. they will really do well in their courses.

Our daughter is now back home since graduating from college this spring. We once again are all reading to each other. again..

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

My daughter is an awesome reader -- has been since she was 3 and she's now 10. I still read to her just about every night -- it's a nice time to settle down and bond for both of us. It's not about whether or not she can read any more. It's about spending time together.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Aww, thanks for reminder to enjoy this phase....my oldest is starting first grade and the reading has been tapering off a bit as she reads to herself more too :(
My dad read the Hobbit to me and we'll be starting it soon!
Keep reading to her as long as you can even if it's only once in a while :(

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⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My son was in 2nd grade last year and part of his homework was to read for 20 minutes every night. He could read out loud to us, we could read to him or a combo. The beginning of the year we mostly read to him and it slowly transpired throughout the year to him just reading by himself for 20 minutes before bed. He enjoys his quiet time. He still, on occasion, asks us to read to him but not often. And every once in awhile he will come into his little brother's room and snuggle up and listen while we are reading to him.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

My kids are still little, and I don't really remember my parents reading except when I was REALLY little (Grandma told grand stories, and it's one of the things I hold most dear about her memory), so I can't help ya except to suggest that maybe you ask her to read to you?? That way she gets a little practice not only reading but reading aloud (a different skill), she gets to read her chapter book that she's fond of, and you still get to spend some special time before bed together?

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Our oldest just started 2nd today. We still read at night. He is a good reader, so we usually take turns. He'll read a chapter (out loud) then I'll read a chapter. Now that school is starting, try to start it up again! Maybe you could pick a book that is above her reading level to read to her.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Our 2nd grader is on the same reading level as yours. She now reads to her brother at night. It's great, she gets to read and I get to listen and help.

She reads chapter books on her own...

So we technically don't read to her but she reads to all of us. And not everynight...but a few nights a week.

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I've never been one to read at bedtime to my kids. I am the type of mom that reads all throughout the day to her kids. I don't read aloud quite as much to my 8 year old daughter and I probably should however she constantly sees me reading and is a voracious reader herself. I do read to my autistic 5 year old all of the time and he too is always carrying around a book and propping himself up to read. Reading at bedtime is an exciting experience for either of my kids rather than a calming one so it causes them to be more awake than needed. Guess my kids are in the minority in this realm.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I say read as long as she will let you!

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Mine are 10 and 13 and I still read aloud to them. Not in a tuck-you-in every night way but we have a chapter book going pretty much all year long. We are just finishing The Yearling as our summer book. I've been reading chapter books aloud since they were 2-3 years old starting with Charlotte's Web.

We are not some old fashioned, no technology family either. Sometimes school, social and activities take over but we always seem to find a little time each week for me to read aloud. Both my girls are great students and voracious readers and I'm sure that's due in part to listening.

When my Mom was dying of cancer I read aloud to her and the kids nearly every night, we finished A Tree Grows in Brooklyn during the last weeks of her life. There is something timeless and sweet about reading aloud, it is such a lovely way to enjoy a work of art together.

Just because you quit reading to your kids doesn't mean you can't start again. As kids get older the reading becomes more and more enjoyable for the adult reader. Why not pick a book tonight?

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 10 and we still read almost every night. Some nights he wants to play a game instead of reading but we usually read. He likes us to read to him even though he's supposed to be reading to us. So we switch off. He likes to quiz me so he'll read questions and I have to answer or we'll ready his homework book or some other book together. As long as your daughter is getting her reading practice in, it doesn't matter if you read at night but it is nice to have that time together before bedtime. I'll keep doing this until my son tells me to stop but I don't see that coming anytime soon. He still loves bedtime with mom and dad.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I think when my son started to read on his own, my reading to him ceased. But, then he would read to me at bedtime.

He is now the old age of 16, and while we do not read to each other anymore, I read every book he reads. It gives us a common theme to discuss and keeps me current on his likes and dislikes.

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