DD Prefers Her Own Company--at What Point Do I Intervene?

I'd have her give real good reasons why she's wanting to stay home and play. Something just doesn't sound right. If you sign her up for something, I wouldn't let her wimp out. Follow through is something she needs to learn too. But it sounds like some type of fear that's behind it. But cut back on how many extra things to get her involved in. Parents often overdo it with signing the kids up for this AND that. Maybe just one extra class besides school would be enough.
I think 6 year olds can find plenty to be scared of. But there's always time to play at home, after scouts, after swim, after dance, after school. Life isn't going to end by going to her other places.

She is an introvert. Other people suck the energy from an introvert. Extroverts get energy from being around people. To her being around a bunch of girls she barely knows sounds exhausting. It's much nicer to stay home and do your own thing. Introverts prefer the company of 1 or 2 great friends. Find activities for her to do with her close friends and let her make her own decisions on hanging out with groups.

There is nothing to be concerned about and yes it will continue for the rest of her life.

So, she is in school all day, has homework, and is committed to 3 different activities? I think us parents need to know when to draw the line and understand what is realistic and what our kids can tolerate happily. I think it's time to read between the lines. By wanting to stay home, I believe she's trying to tell you that she needs time... time to be a kid, play, relax, decompress, do nothing, just "be".

Six is very young. I know there's a lot of pressure these days for even the youngest kids to be involved in structured activities and "keep up" with the (imaginary) crowd but the best thing you can do for your daughter is to love her and encourage her to pursue her own activities and interests, whatever they may be.
Besides isn't this what childhood is about, time to "play and think," right?

She might just be tired and need to take a break. That's a lot of activities IMHO.

for me, her age is the most important factor.

I agree that she needs to finish each course. & as for the Scout field trip, I also feel she needs to participate since she's a part of the group.

as long as she has some interaction, I would allow her some good, quality ME time. I know that with both of my sons, when it came to school breaks/summer vacation, quite often they would just shutdown & avoid friends for weeks! & then they would bounce back & jump into the thick of things again. I felt relief with each transition....

Introversion is not the same as feeling shy. My husband is a very talkative, friendly, outgoing introvert. Meaning, he needs time alone to replenish his energy emotional/psychological stores. I on the other hand tend to be a shy introvert.

Please read this excellent article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/opinion/sunday/26shynes...

When she finishes up the year in swim and girl scouts, for next year, sign her up for things she can do herself, like an art class or horse back riding lessons, or whatever -- activities which are based on the individual and not group work. She will still be out and involved with others, but will not have to work in groups.

In addition, have her invite one friend over every week or so from school or scouts, etc. She might really enjoy the one-on-one interaction with other kids rather than the group, which may be draining for her.

And don't worry too much: I was that kid that played by myself for hours and was mostly happy doing that, and I have turned out into successful, happy adult. :) (Do, please, read that article :)

How old is she? Is the change sudden? Have you asked her about it? She may have a good reason, like being teased (I remember being teased a lot in 2nd grade and I'm 44). If it's a new thing, then maybe let her do her own thing for a bit. Perhaps ask the scoutmaster and teachers if they've noticed anything.

If you were my friend, describing this to me, I'd likely think that your kiddo is asking for some 'down time' in the only way she knows how, which is to decline going to her usually-enjoyed programs.

I believe it's this because she is wanting to stay home from *all* activities, not just one specific one. That would have been a signal that something was amiss at that one activity; instead, she's being pretty universal about wanting to stop going to any of the extracurriculars.

If it were my kid, I'd let them alone. I understand the idea of wanting her to complete the courses, but I also feel like kids at this age take on a lot more than they can accurately assess they might be truly up for. Kids just can't think about commitments the way we do. I'd let it go, or have her pick one activity she'd most like to stick with and drop the other ones. Then, going forward, if she's interested in doing activities, just stick with one for a while. You don't say how many days a week each activity is, either.

For what it's worth-- time to play and think is valuable. I'd love some of that myself!

My son is the same way. Now at 11, he still enjoys just hanging out with adults. Granted, he will join in a good game of dodge ball at school, he does find it difficult at times to connect with some of his classmates. My son isn't the type who like video games and or lots of sports. He loves, politics, chess, world cuisine and just things that many kids his age don't seem interested in. For example, he's been reading my husband's old college economics book and LOVES it.. he says he needs to find out how the market works. I don't think this is a phase... so I try and encourage his interests, even if it means he does some of them alone.. Sounds like your daughter is someone who needs her space and that is ok... I just think that not all kids need to constantly be stimulated by being around others. If you think about it, it's probably a good trait as there are some people in life who can NEVER be alone.. and to me, that isn't a good thing ..
Just keep the doors of communication open and see how this all unfolds..

good luck

if she;s in first grade i'd require it to a point.
thats how my daughter is but she has fun once she;s doing it, she's J. a nervous kid and thinks too much about bad outcomes, so i'm here to tell her "get your butt over there and have some fun or no candy later=) "
yup i've bribed her and her teacher commends M. for bribing her and encouraging her to make friends. kids succeed more in school with friends and when they are confident to speak in front of their peers.

as of a month ago she got a piece of candy when she played with kids at lunch, she wasnt required too, she J. got a prize for putting herself out there. now that she;s done it enough she doesnt get rewards, some days she will tell M. she played on her own because she wanted to and i will be happy for her for doing what she wants...although when i see it becoming a trend I start with bribes again or J. simply tell her to try and play with someone at school today.
i dont think she should be able to opt out of class activities and girl scouts if she is so young. obviously she shouldnt be forced into a sport she doesnt enjoy, but simple outings if it was emmy i would go with her and be there for her if she got nervous but encourage her to play

So far Emmy's teacher this year in first and K were happy with bribing her. They said some kids need incentive to put themselves out there.

i guess every kid is diferent though, but i feel like these begining years shape their future ability to play and learn to compromise with kids while playing.

Emmy isnt forced or chastised for playing on her own or with imaginary friends but she is encouraged to do so

Let her go..

We have an only, now 18, and she goes in spurts from day 1. She loves chilling out in her space at her house. It's like a sanctuary for her.

Hubby and I are loners as well.

It doesn't seem to have effected our daughter as she is very vocal in school, black belt, cheer captain, a leader, etc.

Daughter has a lot of friends and on most weekends at least 1 weekend night has 4-5 girls but at the same time... She treasures her down time at home in her space.

Don't push anything, at this age... She'll grow into it!!

Since she is so young, don't force her. She has lot of time to develop her social life and social interactions. Enjoy the quiet now!

Sounds like she is a reflective kind of person. Just let her be for now but watch closely for signs of depression etc. I am NOT saying that she will develop or that she has etc. Just saying keep open eyes and ears to what she is saying and not saying.