Daughter Crying at School

I would definitely consider homeschooling. I homeschool 2 of my children, the other one is not of school age yet. I have truly enjoyed watching them learn. My son will be in second grade in the fall and I feel great knowing that I have taught him how to read and write as well as math. My daughter will be finishing her second year of pre-k and will be a kindergarten in the fall.
We have lunch together everyday!
If you have any questions about it, there are a lot of homeschooling parents out there and plenty of support.

T.,

I see that you are a SAHM? Often little ones just are NOT ready to go off to school. Have you ever considered homeschooling at least until she gets a bit older? Your daughter obviously DOES miss you and need you. I think that often parents get the idea that they HAVE to send their young children to school, but know that there are other options and plenty of homeschool support groups out there!

Warmly,
C.

My daughter just started preschool and we too have had some crying about not wanting to go to school and crying when some of the other new kids left early and she stayed longer. We've gotten over that for the most part, but still she won't talk to any of the other kids (but talks well with the teacher), won't eat snack, and when they've had birthday parties to celebrate summer birthdays she won't eat the treat with the group but rather wraps it up to bring home. I am going to try to have a playdate with one or two other kids from her class at our house so that she can interact with them in a familiar environment. I'm hoping then she'll feel more comfortable talking to them at school. Maybe that would help your daughter also to make a friend with a schoolmate outside of the school setting. Then you can encourage her to look for this friend in school and play with that friend during recess so that she doesn't miss you so much. Tell her that if she doesn't go to school this friend will miss her. You might also try just sitting down with your daughter and talking with her. Let her tell you about her anxieties. Tell her it's okay that she misses you; you miss her too. But it's okay to be away from each other for a little while and you will always be there at the end of the day to pick her up. And something I always try to tell my daughter is that she has two choices about a situation. In this case, she has to go to school. She can choose to be sad all day and not have any fun or make any friends at school. Or she can be happy that she gets to do this big girl thing and have fun during the day and then come home to me. Sometimes I think this concept is over her head, but then other times she surprises me. Good luck and hang in there. I know it's so hard to send them off crying.

I just sent in my own questions with my upset kindergartener. What does she tell you? What has the teacher told you? Did something happen after that two weeks that may have hurt her feelings? Any changes in the routine at school? Does she know anyone in her class?

I feel that my daughter's unhappiness is the lack of trusting friendships. In fact, I'm considering moving her but she's been there since the fall. I feel like I've given the children, the class, and the teachers enough time. If your daughter's only been there a couple weeks, I would recommend sticking it out a little longer. Maybe you can try and build some friendships outside of the class.

Hi,
I am sorry to hear that. My daughter started K this Fall. I am worried everyday about how she is doing at school. So far, she is pretty upbeat about taking school bus and going to school etc, which is kind of relieving, but I am still wondering how exactly she is doing at school. A school teacher, a friend of mine recommended the following to me:
1. Email the teacher about your concern and ask the teacher to keep an eye on your kid /pay "extra" attention to your kid. If indeed there is some problem, schedule a conference with the teacher to discuss about it.
2. Volunteer at her school. There is no better way to find out yourself.

Good luck to you. Please do share any good solutions.

Hi T..
Here's a suggestion. Let her carry a picture of you or something else of yours that she can take out, look at, and hold so that she can feel like you are there. It might help her adjust to being without you.
Hope this helps!
N.

Well if this is her first time being away from you for so long, it is completely normal for her to have attachment issues. I would sit down with her teacher and find out what she suggests to help make it easier for your daughter. She will eventually settle in. My daughter is in Kindergarten, and she loves her school and her teacher, but I have worked so she has been in daycare a long time and is used to being away from me. I would recommend asking her to make a least one new friend every day and to be able to tell you her name and something interesting about him or her. hopefully getting some good friends at school will make it more enjoyable for her. I wish you the best. I know it must be hard to know that she is upset at school. But she will adjust and I am sure it will be fine.

She cries at both times b/c she misses you or just at drop off? if so have you asked her why she cries at lunch and recess? apprehension is normal but it should be getting better not worse obviously something is wrong, I would talk to the guidance counseler to start.

Well, I read some of the other responces and they all seem really cool to try!!! But I am surprised noone mentioned my idea... What about eating lunch with her? Maybe that would give her something to look forward to. But the down side to that is trying to stop it later... but you could just weed it out little by little. Eat lunch with her a week or two, then every other day, then just 2 days , then just one day. I also really like the picture idea. I would have never thought about that!!! Alos maybe leave little notes in her lunch or backpack. Hope it helps... Hey! Maybe a little "cookout" for her class (or just the girls) and try to get her hooked up with some friends. That may help too.

My 4 yr old son cried in preschool too and we couldn't figure out why since he did so well the first few months. Then he kept saying that he missed me. I found out from the teachers that he cries throughout the day too and I realized that he did this before lunch time which is before naps (which he hates!) He also would see kids be picked up at noon by their moms and he thought that his mom should pick him up at this time too.

We started giving him incentives for having a good day at school and not crying when I dropped him off. We made sure to ask the teachers that he wasn't having a problem with other kids. I promised him a "fun afternoon" once I picked him up. He even carried around my husband's business card with him for a week so that he could call daddy if he needed him. Then when he would have a good day at school, we would make a big deal of it and celebrate. He would be so proud of himself that the first thing he would say when I picked him up is "Mommy, I didn't cry at school today!!! Can I call Daddy and tell him?" I also tried to find out stuff they were doing in school and to get him excited about their fun activities so that he would have something to look forward to.

Good luck! Hopefully it is just a phase and she will start enjoying school again. But don't give up!!! She's got 12 more years of school ahead of her. Teaching her to be enthusiastic about school now will help you in the future.

My daughter had this exact same experience last year at preschool. She seemed so well adjusted and then she was crying every morning when dropped off. The teacher told me this is actually very normal - I guess the beginning is like a honeymoon stage. If it makes you feel any better, it didn't last long. I would also stick around after the teacher closed the door and listen in and she was fine within moments of me leaving.