Daughter Afraid to Poop

My daughter did the same thing at that age. She would hold it for days until it HAD to come out! I stressed over it all and I think what finally helped was her deciding that poop was okay and of me not making a big deal of it. Its one of those things thats 'just a phase'!

It is possible since she is going so long between bowel movements that there is a lot of buildup going on. That can change the shape of her bowels so that it will be a constant problem that doesn't correct itself. It might be an idea to try to get her in to a gastroenterologist. She may need just a little extra help, like a gentle laxative or something. My friend's daughter is the same way, and is now on some medication. She is doing MUCH better.

I don't know how many other people do this, But when I had my first baby, my mother told me to always praise the poopy diapers rather then make a big deal about how much they stink or how gross they are. So I always say things like " wow, you did a great job." "That is such a good stinky poop/diaper", of course with a smile on my face. I have had great success with potting training for Poop too. I think its because they are actually proud that they can produce such fabulous stools!:) Also if they are ever painful, I just back off on the BRATY (bananas rice apple/sauce and Yogurt/dairy)food items and give them a handful of raisins for a few days. Works great. Hope that helps at least while you make an appointment with your Doc.
E.

My daughter had constipation and was afraid of pooping after that. I asked if it hurt. She said it did. I told her I had some dried plumbs that would help it feel better....and make the poop easier to push out.

My kids beg for dried plumbs (prunes) now - they call it "1-2-3" because I put one in each hand and one in their mouth. I usually have them drink a glass of water with it.

Even though it doesn't actually help until the next day, my daughter found it very reassuring and often asks for 1-2-3. (much to the astonishment of my own mother..hehe)

Try sitting her on the potty after you change the first poopy diaper. My son likes it when I watch for his poopy to fall into the toilet. "Did your body make more poopy? Oh, I think I see it. Can you push it out? hehe...it splashed. That was a good one!"

I know boys are different, but my youngest hates having the poop next to her bum. Often she'll wait for a clean diaper before she poops.

my 2 yr. old girl is going through the same thing. she hates to poop cause it hurst. i have been trying to make her more regular by giving her baby ensure and more juice and water and fiber. it seems to be helping.

HI R.,
I'm sure several people have mentioned that to poop only 1x every three days seems to be not frequent enough.

Whether your daughter is over-controlling her own poop schedule or whether she is constipated, there is a way to encourage her to go more often. Give her a small dose of Phillips Milk of Magnesia each evening. It is the most gentle product on the market and it is safe for very young children to take regularly for an extended time. A full doze would probably give her a day of very loose stools, so maybe start with just half a doze.

The Phillips will soften her stool and encourage a feeling of needing to go more often. She will be more comfortable when she stools in smaller volumes daily. Hopefully having to go more often and being more comfortable will make her less nervous about the process. As her schedule becomes more regular and she becomes more relaxed, you will reduce the amount of Phillips you give her.

Good luck!
K.

Hello R.! I cannot stress enough how quickly you should act in this situation to aleviate the problem. When my daughter was about 2.5, she had a similar problem. Turns out she actually had internal anal fissures (tiny tears) in her rectum. I couldn't see them and didn't know what was wrong. I ignored my mommy instints for a month or two, only to have her hold her poop in and then poop at night a giant, hard stool after she had fallen asleep (totally potty trained, just finally poopled when she relaxed). She screamed "owie poop" for months. I finally demaned my ped do something, and she told us to do MOM for almost a full year until owie poops were totally gone in her mind. I felt awful that I let my little girl suffer for so long when added fiber, juice and water weren't enough.

Could the gas be painful where it feels like cramps? If that is the case try a little mylicon. If it is constipation then you could try massaging right below the belly button put a little pressure about every third stroke. I also use the legs and so bicycle with my daughter to help her out. I also give my dd yogurt each day to help with the digestive system. I hope this helps and gl.

It took me years to realize that what I thought was normal was not. My daughter never cried when she had to poop and she was never afraid of the potty. I just thought it was normal for her to poop only every few days, but now I know better. Pooping once a day is normal, not every three +days. She is seven now, but three years ago, I noticed she was soiling her underware and we started a two year long battle over what I thought was her being lazy or distracted. It turns out that my daughter has a serious constipation problem, and I didnt know until I watched an episode of Dr Phil. Myralax is wonderful and helps my daugter have softer stools which could be part of the problem and it helps her stay on a schedual. I give her one cap full once a day and it has worked wonders. I recommend seeing your doctor so you know what is going on with your child. My daughter ended up with stool backing and it was extremely painful, so much so that we thought she was having apedicitis. Getting help now will help both you and your daughter. Good Luck!

this might not be a good idea, but maybe laugh whenever someone farts and sing songs about pooping

My daughter was constipated and the ped suggested that we put her in a warm bath to relax the muscles.

A friend of mine had the same problem with her son, but it turned out to be a control issue.

My son used to not want to take time away from play to go to the bathroom, so I would go in with him, rub his back to relax him and read a book to him so he would not hurry through it. Talking softly and reassuring them that pooping is a normal fact of life and she should not be afraid of it will help. Sometimes you might have to let her see that you are not afraid of it when you do. I'm not trying to be morbid or gross, the learn by example. What better example than MOMMY!

You may want to give her some natural diuretics and lots of water to make sure she isn't constipated. Pooping may hurt if she is holding it for 3 days. Prunes or prune juice, licorice, maybe a little oily food. If you get her system working more often, maybe she will get used to it faster. Taco bell usually moves pretty fast.

Warm baths relax all their little muscles. My daughter pooped in the tub semi regularly (accidentally) till she was about 3. That might help.

I had a friend that had a similar problem with her boys. As it turns out the boys were afraid that the poop was a part of their body or something crazy like that. It had to do with being afraid of loosing sometime. I don't know if that makes sense...anyway, she ended up having to have a "bye-bye poopies" (sorry...no other way around the language) ceremony when they went to the bathroom. It worked pretty well. Good luck!

I would talk to the child's doctor about this to make sure that there isn't anything physically wrong. If it's just her being a quirky toddler, there is a book called "Everyone Poops" you can read to her. Another possibility is that she is ready to be potty trained. Unlike boys, girls don't like to sit in their own mess. She might not poop because she doesn't want to sit in it. She seems to be pretty in tuned to her body if she calls farting pooping. So, get the potty chair and pretty underwear. Whenever she feels the need have her go sit down on the potty. Give her a book to look at to help her relax. When she is successful, reward her and praise her. Make sure she has a balanced diet. Perhaps once she was constipated and in pain --- which scared her --- and now she thinks it will always be like that. Now, with boys, farting, pooping, and peeing is a source of humor. Maybe that would help her out to lighten things up a bit. Good luck.

oddly enough I was just at a training meeting for Usborne books this weekend and one of the ladies was talking about how one of the books is a great way to explain how everyone goes to the bathroom, that it is a great way to show kids how everyone poops and everyone pees...she has 4 boys and all of them had issues with pooping in the toilet, but the book has gotten all but the youngest who isn't there yet okay with pooping. The book is called "See Inside Your Body" It's $12.99...many of the local libraries carry the title as well. I'm not sure if yours will in Nampa but see if you can find it-- if not you can always order through an usborne consultant or online (of course if you do order online, my website is www.celestsbooks.com) although I will tell you that this particular title is cheaper right now on Amazon. :)
I'm not sure how comparable shipping is, but with Usborne it would be $5. I had never thought of this book like that but she said it has worked great for her and for several people she knows. It's the book she always recommends for potty training because it is more scientific and to the point than the cutesy stories. I don't know if that is the direction you are looking to go but since I just learned this on Sat. when I read your question, I had to share that tidbit of info. I'm planning on getting the book myself for my 2.5 year old since we are working on potty training right now as well.
Good luck!!

I won't go into what we've been dealing with, but there are some good children's books about pooping. Get on amazon and search "poop" -- you'll be surprised how many choices pop up. Read the reviews for each title to get an idea of whether or not it might be what you're looking for. Perhaps some of these might help your daughter. Good luck!

R.,

It is very common for kids at this age to be afraid of pooping. Developmentally they are at a stage where they really do think it is a part of their body that is falling off and they are flushing down the toilet. It can be very scarey for them. I also had a bye bye poopey routine with my girls where they would sing to their poop as they flushed it. I know it sounds crazy, but it really worked.

If she's only pooping every 3 days it probably does hurt. I would say that's she's constipated, and every time she poops she holds it even longer because she remember the pain from the last time.

My sisters daughter was so bad she had hemorrhoids (bleeding). Her doctor tried many things for about a year. Finally he gave her "Senekot". It tastes like chocolate. They take it until they poop everyday, and then you gradually go off it until they poop everyday on their own. Anyway, that's what worked and she was kind of mad that the doctor didn't give her that first. So, your daughter shouldn't be afraid to poop after that.

If you don't fix the problem now, they will always have problems with pooping. What happens is your colon expands to hold that much poop, so they are stretched out and need to be corrected. I would also make sure she eats "an apple a day" (at least one fruit and one vege everyday).

Best wishes!

Hi R.,
Try putting her on the toilet when she is 'gassy' or when she feels she needs to poop. She may just really hate the feeling of going in her diaper at this point especially if she going so much at once since holding it for several days. Maybe if she has her own little toilet to go to, she is definitely old enough to try potty training.

My 9 year old son was severely constipated and then refused to go for almost a week at a time. He now has to take a stool softner for 6 months as the Dr. says he stretched out his intestines from the constipation and holding it in so long and it takes a long time for the intestines to get back to normal.

Obviously your daughter doesn't have this problem but just wanted you to know that holding it in for long periods can cause problems. Again I think she needs her own potty, make her feel like a big girl, get the wipes that can be put it the toilet for her to use so she learns the whole process. Be excited about it, help her pick out the potty, put some books or stuffed animal nearby so she has something comforting for her and then figure out whether she needs you near or if she needs space of her own when trying.

Good luck,
SarahMM

R., I would have your daughter checked by the doctor just to make sure there are no actual medical problems. This is constipation, even if the stools are not hard. For my daughter, the trick was Senakot, children's version. It is an all natural laxative, tastes chocolaty, and works overnight - you give a very small dose at night and the kid poops in the morning. My daughter was on it from about 18 months old till she was 3. It made a huge difference. I got the Senakot at RiteAid and be sure to get the children's version.

take care

Our son has been going through the same thing. He held the poop in for days (like 4 or 5 or even more)and danced around, screaming and crying hysterically when he couldn't hold it any longer. We read all the poop books, we watched a poop video, we tried comforting him, and then ignoring him--since the comforting actually seemed to make it worse. At a check-up we asked our pediatrician who told us that this is not that uncommon and to just be patient, leave him in a quiet room and let him work it out. He also told us to try mineral oil, which we now add to his cereal every morning. It just makes the poop that much harder to hold in. The idea is that the more they poop the more they get used to it and the less scary it is. It seems to be working because he now goes almost every day and the crying has diminished. He is even starting to go on the potty without a fuss (he is 3 years old). But we have been working with him since December. I know how frustrating this situation can be. Hang in there and know this stage will pass and she'll get the hang of it.