Clumsy Girl Do I Tell Her Mom

I do not feel this is something you should ask her mother to pay to have cleaned unless it was intentional. It is a good idea to have items that can cause big messes used in areas easily cleaned. I feel it is an honest accident to spill nail polish or drop food. My daughters paint their nails on the front porch for that reason, and any staining foods must be eaten in the kitchen where there is a tiole floor.

I would say no. I have 5 children that have friends over all the time and we do not have these problems because of my rules. Food is only allowed in the kitchen(unless watching a movie..then popcorn can be in the living room but not drinks). We only have water most of the time but if there is another drink it MUST stay in the kitchen. No nail polish or playdoh or anything like that except on the patio or the kitchen table where it can be cleaned off. Kids are clumsy...it is up to us to do damage control. LOL

Clumsy child was just that back when. NOW, it has been learned that there is a neurological link. My son has Dyspraxia and in him it exhibits, clumsiness, disorganization,short term memory deficit, difficulties processing information etc etc all wrapped up in an above average/borderline genius package. I highly doubt that the girl is doing it on purpose and just as the other poster said, you may ask if you are so inclined that the child's mother share the cleaning cost.
HOWEVER, having a child like the girl you are describing, prompts me to suggest this scenario to you.
Do not let her eat, drink or travel with anything to eat or drink in any room other than the kitchen. Nailpolish? bathroom or outside. period. Explain the situation to your daughter because she will have to join her friend in the kitchen etc. But really, the reality is this. When that girl is at your house, she is your responsibility. Her mother is not there to control any situation so she should not be held responsible for any of it.
In all probability, it is something she has already noticed about her daughter and probably already has her eating where she should and handling messy things in appropriate places.

.

Windex will remove nail polish from a carpet, so try it on your daughter's bedskirt and floor.

I think all the other advise about the girl being in your home is good advice.

No, don't tell her mom. When you allow kids into your home w/out their parents, you are responsible for their messes. You can, however, give the girl some cleaning supplies and ask her to help you clean up the mess. It sounds like this girl needs some ground rules at your house - like only eat and drink in the kitchen, only do nails on the porch, etc.

I don't think you should say anything to the girl's mother about cleaning this stuff. I would just set rules about no eating anywhere except the kitchen. As far as stuff like nail polish, liquid make-up, and stuff like that I would designate an area for that to be done - maybe the kitchen table or on the deck/patio. These things are going to happen. I remember spilling red drink all over my friend's light carpet. The mother was upset that it wouldn't come out. I felt so bad, I apologized everytime I was there. She finally called a carpet cleaning company to come out and clean the carpet and it came out. I still felt bad and I'm sure this girl feels bad everytime something like this happens. But I think you have to limit where they do these things in order to keep it from happening all the time.

You neglected to say how old this child is...but in any case...why don't you NOT let the girls eat ANYWHERE but the kitchen and NOT let them paint their nails ANYWHERE but outside with the aid of newspaper..You sound VERY hostile towards this child... remember she is a CHILD and maybe she isn't as tidy as your child ...If you tell her Mother about these "messes" you will just cause a rift and make that Mom feel bad ( along with her child)..I am writing not to judge you or act as a "perfect Mom" myself..but please, get a grip, it's not the end of the world . What you can't "afford" to do is be responsible for hurting a child with your up-tight attitude . And thank you ( with all sincerity ) for reminding me what is important..sometimes I sound like YOU and this helps keep me in check !!
Best of luck, A. ( another up-tight Mom who is trying to work on it)!!

I would continue to have her over but just set some rules for your daughter and her. Tell them no eating in the bedroom. Or if you want to allow eating, then just tell them any drippy and/or melty food needs to be eaten at the kitchen table. Any fingernail polishing (or polish removing) should be done at the kitchen table with newspaper or something laid down. Or, your daughter can set up a corner of her room for polishing nails with lots of newspaper down (or old towels) and the polish already over there.

i see your daughter just turned 9... if this is the age you are talking about with the friend. its very common for kids this age to be super clumsy. dont make a big deal out of it its a rug and a bed skirt for goodness sakes.

If the girls get along well, you may just need to deal with it by making new rules for when your daughter has guests. no messy things in the bedroom. if you have a place with linoleum or tile, that would be the designated area for fingernail polish, paints of any kind, and any and all food. or outside. this could be a rule for ALL friends who come over and not make it sound like the one friend is a bad person.

If you must say something to the other mother, put yourself in her shoes first. You could mention that she seems to spill things frequently while at your house and ask if she spills a lot at home and express concern that she may need glasses?

Since she is a guest and was allowed to have the polish and food in carpeted areas, it doesn't seem fair to ask her mother to pay for cleanup or replacement of these things.

I've spilled nail polish lots of times and I don't have a disorder.

I don't think you should ask the girl's mother to pay for the clean up this time. I think you need to be more careful about what the kids are playing with and where. Just my opinion!

It wouldn't hurt to mention it to the mom, because sometimes clumsiness can be a sign of an underlying medical condition.

Perhaps talk to the mom a mention that this is a recurring thing and ask her to pay half the cost. Depending on their situation, they might not be able to afford even that much. I would be insulted if a parent came to me and asked me to foot the bill to have something cleaned - I personally wouldn't ask another parent to pay to clean something in my home. However, that being said, if my child made a huge mess in a friends home and it was brought to my attention, I would offer to pay half the cost.

Have you talked to the girl? Are these truly accidents? Maybe let her and your daughter know that if there is another accident like this (that costs a lot to clean), that the friend won't be able to come over anymore.

I would not tell her mom at this time but I would tell your daughter that the next time that girls comes over, they are not allowed to eat or drink anything out of the kitchen. They are not to color with markers, use nail polish, etc unless they are at the kitchen table. If it does happen again, I would kindly mention it to her mom and and maybe jokingly say that it is getting costly to clean up after her messes!

Wow. I'm sorry, but are you kidding? Kids are kids, and they all make messes, especially with messy stuff and distractions of playing. RELAX...your stuff is just...stuff.

No, I would say that those types of things have to be done at the table, in the bathroom or outside. Places that are easier to clean...

Do you have a reasonably good relationship with the mom? If so, then by all means tell her. If not, bear in mind that, if you tell her her kid's a klutz and is destroying your house, she may get her nose out of joint and decide your kid's a brat and her little one shouldn't play with her anymore.
Since you can't just pick up banana oil at the corner market, sending the bed skirt to the cleaners is probably the only way you'll be able to get the polish out. And, if a rental steam carpet cleaner does not get the mess out of the carpet, you may have to hire a professional cleaner to come in and take care of the carpets. But a delicate way of broaching the subject to your daughter's friend's mom is, just in passing conversation, ask Mrs. Louhoo if she knows anything short of a professional cleaner that will get nail polish out of fabric. When she asks what happened, and she will, just mention that little Cindy and your daughter were playing and Cindy Louhoo spilled nail polish on the bedskirt and floor. Hopefully, at that point, she will have enough integrity to offer to pay (at least half) the cost of the cleaning bill. If not, it's okay to go ahead and get the job done then take the bill to her. "You seemed so upset over Cindy's accident and I just wanted to let you know I got it taken care of. Here's the bill."

One question, though. How old are these girls? Pre-teens? Younger?
If they are younger than nine, they probably need to be monitored very closely and not left alone for longer than a few minutes at a time. If they want to get into the nail polish, quickly provide them with newspaper or something to cover expensive furniture or carpeting. If they are nine or older, it's time they take responsibility for their own actions. Let Little Miss Cindy Louhoo pay for at least part of the cleaning bill. If she babysits, she can pay you a portion of that each week until your agreed-upon payback price is reached. You will not only be helping to pay the cleaning bill, but you will be teaching Cindy and your daughter a valuable lesson in responsibility and owning up to one's own actions. And THAT should make them both more cautious in the future.

Barbara is quite correct in saying, when the girl is at your house, she is your responsibility. It's okay to set down rules for both girls and insist they follow them.

I think I would give the girl one more chance. Ask her to be more careful in the presence of your daughter, and that you had a really difficult time cleaning up the nail polish. If it continues to be a problem, then I would confine their activities to another area- like painting toenails outside, or eating marshmallows at the table, for example.

Decide if the kid is nice, or you don't want her with your dd. Kids are kids and make mistakes. Take it all away before she comes the next time. Why are they eating anyplace but the kitchen. Your dd may be refined, and this kid may not be from a home that teaches.