Calling All Moms Who Only Have Sons

Updated on December 23, 2009
S.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
61 answers

I am the proud mommy of a great 2 year old boy. As soon as I had him, I sort of felt like I was a "boy mom", meaning I always pictured myself with all sons. Well, yesterday's ultrasound showed us a healthy BOY! We are thrilled and in no way do I feel let down, disappoointed...However, both my mom (who only had girls) and one of my SIL's (single with no kids) couldn't seem to hide their disappointment. They both mentioned that maybe baby #3 would be a girl. I honestly don't care what gender it is!

I guess I am wondering what to say to these comments (sort of ignored them for now). I also would love to hear from mom's who only have sons about how great it is :)

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S.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I have a 14 year old and a 22 month old. Wouldn't change it for the world. I love being a boys mom.

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C.M.

answers from Rochester on

I'm adopted and it took my parents 4 years to finally get an adoption that went from start to finish and bring me home. Luckily most people that know me well enough to know that (and I don't hide it, I'm open about it) didn't make those comments or act dissappointed.

For the ones that didn't reserve their comments or dissappointments I simply said "hey, he's healthy so I'm happy."

I have one son who is now 8mo old and I feel the same way as you so I understand :).

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L.R.

answers from Madison on

I have two wonderful sons now 4 and 6 years old. After having the first boy, I wanted the second one to be a boy too. I only had sisters, and we were close. I wanted the same for my children. The fact they share a room, clothes, and toys is icing on the cake.

I haven't been asked so much if I'm going to try for a girl. When I was asked this question once I answered that the question to ask is whether I wanted another child, not a boy or girl. I also have answered it that the third would most likely be a boy too, so trying to have a girl is not a good reason to have another.

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D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I have boys and girls. Hope you don't mind me putting my two cents in. When we were pregnant with our fourth baby, we did pray for a boy. At that time we had two girls and one boy and we really wanted our son to have a brother. Soon we found out that we were having another girl. We weren't all that disappointed. We began to pray that she would be healthy. Well at thirty-one weeks she died. Our hearts broke. We didn't care what she was, we just wanted her with us. My six year old really wanted to share his room with this baby even through he was having a sister and not a brother. We don't have a big house and she was going to have to go into someone's room so we decided we would allow it for awhile. My son was so heart broken! He said, "I would have painted my whole room pink if we could have just gotten to bring her home."

We went on to get pregnant again shortly after the death of our daughter. Again we ended up burying a child. This baby was a boy. We had prayed so hard that this baby would get to come home. My kids were just devastated.

My husband and I decided we just couldn't take another lose so we decided to avoid pregnancy. I gave away all the baby clothes and we were happy with our family. We had two little saints in heaven and three precious gifts here. God had a better plan for us. We ended up pregnant again. We had another baby. By a miracle I ended up with the right doctor and he figured out what was going on.

Our outlook on children and gender has changed considerably. We now pray for God's will to be done and we are thankful for what ever he sends us. Our love for all six of our children grows every day. All my children have changed my life. If we would have been able to keep either one of the children who died, we may not have the precious little girl he gave us later. I may only have four kids instead of six. I am a mother of six children and I am so thankful for each and every one of them. We all now see that God knows best and he can turn good out of tragedy. When we pray, we always pray His will be done. We understand that his wisdom is far greater than ours and what ever he gives us will be what is best for us. He is in the business of getting people to heaven where you will truly be happy. That happiness will be forever not just a life time.

My son said it best. Recently one of his friends said, "Don't you wish you would have gotten a brother?" My son replied, "What? Did you look at her? God made her just for us and she is so cute! I love all my girls and my brother in heaven."

We have all decided that our children in heaven help us out the most. They bend God's ear for us and we need all the help we can get. Each night we say our prayers and each night we have ask ALL our children to join us. As we finish we ask our little saints to continue to pray for us as we sleep and then we tell them all good night.

Just tell people that your children are gifts from God. He would know what is best for you and you sure wouldn't think your wisdom was higher than his.

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M.R.

answers from York on

I can totally relate to this! We just had our second SON 6 1/2 months ago! Now, I LOVE being a mama to boys..don't get me wrong! but, there was a small part of me that wanted Isaac to be a girl-mostly b.c my husband and I had decided this was going to be our last child. We only have 2 but I have had some health issues (major surgery etc) and feel that i want to stay as healthy as I can for my sons and not risk my health by getting pregnant. So, I really wanted a daughter this time. I had slight dissapointment for only a moment and that was overcome by joy and excitment over our healthy baby boy on the way! Naturally I fell more and more in love with him and now that he is here I just can't imagine our world without his sweet little self!!! I wouldn't change a thing! I am sure having a daughter I would say the same thing and be just as much in love, but I trust God know's what he is doing and just love having sons! I share in your love for being a mom of boys. At first, I thought I may have feelings of lack in never having a daughter of my own to love...but honestly , it makes me look forward to having 2 daughter in laws one day. I have a chance to be a good and loving mom in law to these girls instead of a "monster in law!" and i can spend time now deciding on how I will do that. My mother in law is a huge blessing to me! So i have a good example.:) They will be my daughters and that is good enough for me. I can really relate with teh family and friends asking "so when are you trying for your girl?" or "well, when you have your daughter"..ETC ETC. Even though we have explained that we are not having anymore children! They just ignore that! lol. Our family is overrun with boys..my Mom has ONE grandaughter and 4 Grandson's..so I can understand why she wants me to have a daughter. I feel that if we would have another child, we would adopt. There are FAR too many children in this country and other countries that are abandoned , left for dead, living in horrible conditions that could use a loving family. But they just will not stop with the comments about having a girl. I now am to the point where i just laugh it off..or even just ignore the comment (not in a rude way) but just by either changing the subject or just laughing and then doing something else. It isn't worth the fight to me. They all love our baby Isaac and are so very happy he is healthy! Some day they will realize we just are not going to have that baby girl they think we should have. I believe God know's what is best for us and i trust that he gave me boys because I must be a better mom for boys then girls ;) Good luck!!

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J.

answers from Omaha on

I too have only boys, four in fact. I love being a "boy mom" and couldn't imagine life any other way, but also never cared much about the gender of my children. I went through some really scary times with my pregnancies and deliveries and am so thankful of the outcome. My boys and I have all proven so many physicians wrong in regards to expected medical problems. I know these comments can be frustrating, I've dealt with them as well. Just tell them that you are so thankful for the healthy children you have and that is what was planned for you. I wish you the best of luck and keep enjoying those boys!

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B.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have 3 boys, and I felt the exact same way as you. You can only imagine what people will say when/if you have a 3rd. When we were pregnant the 3rd time we decided to find out the sex(we had not with the others).It was an unexpected preganacy, and we had just passed on or sold our baby things,so we wanted to be able to get prepared. I was pleasantly surprised when we found out it was a boy, I was not at all prepared to suddenly shift gears into girl territory, although of course I would have. We decided to keep the fact that we knew the sex a secret. By this point I had a sense of humor about the whole thing. I had heard "You're FINALLY going to have your girl" so many times, and I have a mother-in-law,God love her, who had been rooting very rudely and boisterously for a girl for almost 10 years to no avail.She also had shown visible dissapointment at the birth of my 2 boys. She is a wonderful grandmother, but this still irritates me to this day. So you can imagine how I relished the thought of having another boy every time I saw her or another person would make a comment. It was like my dirty little secret, and I loved it. Another thing people love to assume or make comments about is how much work boys are. I have done nannying and daycare continuously since I was a teenager, and I honestly think boys are easier on so many different levels. My boys love to be outside and active(which is great), but they also know how to behave indoors, in public, in libraries, they respect their parents and others and most of the time get along with eachother wonderfully.I am not the creative imaginative mother that I once idealized I would be, but I have found that I am the mother that was meant for my boys. All they need is the outdoors, a ball, or a matchbox car and eachother, and they will be entertained endlessly.

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J.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S., I have not read any of the responses you have received, too busy with my 2 sons, 4& 1. With my older son I wanted my husband to have the first "grandson" in the family and then with my second I really wanted my older son to have a brother! I have a sister I am very close to and I hope my boys will be the same. Not to mention it has been SO much cheaper for us. I had a feeling my second would be a boy, so I saved everything; clothes and toys! When I was younger I always pictured myself with a little girl, now that I have my amazing and healthy little boys I could not be happier! Congratulations on #2 I hope everything goes well, all that matters is your happiness!!

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S.B.

answers from Fargo on

i had a boy first. just what i wanted. then i wanted baby #2 to be a girl. nope i got another boy. ages 5yrs and 18months. i was a little disappointed at first but then the further in my pregnancy i was happy about another boy. yes we really wanted a girl, on both sides of the family,but we are so thankfull for what we had. we decided that we were only having two kids due to risk of having another child with medical needs. but we did get the comment of you should keep trying till you have a girl. one of the people was my husbands boss. we ignored it and when that didn't work we told them about the health issues. then they dropped it. IF IF IF we decided to add another child to our household we will adopt. we are just thankfull that are children are healthy to a point and that they are happy and very well loved. if there should be a girl in our future she will be very spoiled. my side has a total of 9 yep 9 boys no girls. and on my husbands side 2 boys. my mother inlaw is awesome. she had two boys and has now gained a daughter(me). my boys are their only grandchildren and i tell ya they are spoiled. any ways boys are sooooooooooo much fun. until their dad gives them heck for being big momma boys. any ways have fun and congrats. by the way you can save money now also. my family seriously passes all the clothes down. so we have all saved over 500.00 over the last 10yrs.
congrats and hope you have a healthy pregnancy.

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L.S.

answers from Madison on

I don't only have sons, but I DO love having a mama's boy, that's for sure!!!

As far as the comments go, I'd just tell them that you'll be happy as long as the baby is healthy. We were very happy to get girls, but that was always my stock answer anyway. The people that I have problems with are those who really really desire one sex or another, to the point of having serious disappointment when they don't get what they want.

If you are lucky enough to have healthy babies, then just be happy with what you get (which it sounds like you are). Poo on those who can't celebrate with you! :)

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm one of two girls, really close to my sister, and a feminist since I could talk, basically. I always assumed I'd have daughters. I have two sons, instead.

And now -- I can't imagine what it would be like to have daughters. My sons are fabulous and I just love being mother to two boys.

One way I like to think of it is that I'm raising two young men who will be wonderful husbands and fathers someday.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I have a friend who has 4 boys and another who has 4 girls. (Although both of them would have LOVED one of the other sex they are both EXTREMELY happy and and grateful to have HEALTHY children.)

My opinion is if you are annoyed with their comments, set them straight. "ALL babies are a gift from God and we are so happy to welcome THIS BOY into our family! We couldn't have asked for anything better." Or whatever you decide you want to say. Otherwise just ignore them or look at them with a look of confusion and you could say, "Really, why I would I ask for something like that when what I have is perfect???"

Congrats! Boys are so much fun. We had a girl first and then a boy and they are SOOO different. Actually the guy who gave me my spinal for the c-section told us right after our daughter was born. "Sorry to burst your bubble but girls are HARD. He said he told his teen-aged daughter she looked nice the other day and she ran upstairs crying...." LOL. ALL children are a blessing. We just prayed that our kids would be healthy. Never asked for a certain gender.....

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J.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have 3 girls and I completely feel what you are feeling! I am a "girl" mom for sure and I LOVE having girls. When we found out baby #3 was a girl people made such rude comments to us. My MIL is always on my case about having a boy - it drives me insane!!! Even strangers make comments about us trying for a fourth to get a boy. WE DO NOT CARE! We have 3 healthy, great kids. I just smile and say how happy we are that we have 3 healthy children and gender does not matter. All that matters is that you and your husand are thrilled -- people are going top make comments no matter what!! Congrats on your 2 boys :)

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A.L.

answers from Iowa City on

Congratulations, S.. As the mother of four boys, when I got those kinds of comments, I would smile and say "I figure God knows what He's doing"!!

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L.S.

answers from Madison on

Well, I have 3 girls, but imagine how many people ask us if we're "going for a boy." We may have another but only because we want another, not because we're going to keep trying til we get a boy. I just ignore the comments and smile. My BIL even makes joking comments to my husband like "at least I can make a boy!" How rude. We do our best to ignore it and remind them that we are thankful for our HEALTHY children. Congrats on your new addition, and enjoy every moment!

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S.Y.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I have 4 wonderful boys. Ages 7,5,4 years and a 9 mth baby. I love having boys they are always so fun and full of energy. I get to be a big kid when we go into the toy store playing with the boy toys is great and lots of fun!! At first it was hard because I had to get the hang of the "boy things" like which Transformer was which... but with their help and my husbands I got it in no time. My mom and my mother-in-law made the same comments,about the next one will be a girl and I just respond I am happy to have my healthy and beautyful boys and that if I was suppose to have a Girl, I would be given a Girl. Congrats and good luck to you and your boys!

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M.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have two boys and love it. I was out shopping with my two boys one day and the store clerk said "WOW two boys you are very lucky" and I gave her a strange look because I was so shock. She said "everyone wants one of each, a boy and a girl, but I think it is better to have two of the same. Then they can grow up to be good friends and relate to eachother better" I think she is very right. Plus I feel I had boys for a reason. I believe everything happens for a reason. We are planning on having a 3rd but it wouldn't bother me if it was a boy. I will take what god gives me.

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D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am also a mommy of a 2 year old boy and a 6 month old boy! I always think it is funny when people have that type of reaction. I know I was meant to be a mommy of boys and my boys just adore me!!! That is the fun part of being a mommy of boys....little boys and big boys love there moms. I see that with my mom and her two boys...she is just as close with them as she is with me. So enjoy being a mom of healthy kids...that is all I ever wanted anyways!

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B.B.

answers from Davenport on

Hi S.!

I'm not a mom with only sons, but I am a "boy mom" as well. My oldest is our girl and the two youngest are boys. My daughter is super girly and I am not, by any means. Yes, I like to get dressed up and go out every once in a while, but she has to have princesses on everything. My boys and I have always shared a special bond, and everyone knew from the beginning that they were "my" babies. But, our daughter has been attached to my husband from day one like the boys have been attached to me. It's actually kind of funny when you think about it ;) So don't feel bad about being a boy mom, not all of us are sunshine and roses. As far as the comments go, tell them what you told us "As long as it's a healthy baby, it doesn't matter what package it comes in" :) Hope this helps :)

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S.B.

answers from Omaha on

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! I have 2 boys--now 12 and 7--and could NOT be happier! As long as I can remember, I wanted boys and only boys. I was certain (at conception) that my older son was a boy--mother's intuition :). With my younger son, I had doubts. Actually his brother, who was 4 1/2 at the time, was the only one who thought the baby was a boy--brother's intuition?? I was beyond thrilled when he was right, however, my mom was (a little) disappointed because she had 3 grandsons at the time and no granddaughters. The feeling soon faded though as she knew this was what I really wanted :). (...and my brother and his wife finally had a little girl 2 years later.) My husband and I have gone back and forth on the idea of having another baby, but I'm content with the two wonderful sons that we have. (I also admit that I'm a little afraid to have a girl!!) No regrets :)

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L.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have 2 boys, 18 months apart, now they are 3 1/2 and 23 months...I was very happy to find out the 2nd child was a boy, i felt comfortable with knowing all the things i had already done with my first child. honestly, i was freaking out if it was a girl, how the heck do you change a girls diaper with out the "mess" getting all up and around and in and BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!! boys, SO EASY!

And I know how SASSY us girls are, I know it is a lot harder raising boys from birth to 6 years old, but then it is smooth sailing, boys are much easier going than girls. The non stop energy my boys have now is pretty exhausting, but they are a lot of fun.

And boys sure do love their mommy! You never hear the sports guys saying "hi dad", they ALWAYS say "Hi MOM"!

Brotherly love is great! They play together, you save money on toys since you stay with the same gender and you dont break the bank on different clothing!

Enjoy it! God gives you what you are supposed to have! Prepare for the boxig matches, however, boys are tough and they play rough! But as my hubby say's, that is just what boys do!

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S.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have 2 little boys and remember these type of insensitive comments. I don't know what people are thinking sometimes when they open their mouths! :) When someone would say something like that, I would usually say "I'm sorry you're disappointed it's a boy, but we're quite happy!" This usually made people apologize for their stupid comments...or at least made them think about what they said! I wasn't rude about it, just very matter of fact. I still have people ask me if we're going to "try again" for a girl this time!

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K.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Tell them you had girls, but you ate them. ;o)

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

simply put:
we would have loved a little girl too, but we are honestly so in love with our boys that we dont miss having a girl.
because its true, and it might even knock a twinge of guilt in their minds reminding them that they should love the boys just as much as you do, even if all of them are boys.

we have one son, and we dont really have immediate plans for any more, our son is 3 the end of the month. my MIL is starting to flat out say "i want another grandkid" (she has a granddaughter who lives 5 hrs away and lives the city fast paced always busy lifestyle so she doesnt see her much... and the complication of the fact that it is a blood grandchild who was adopted out because of problems with her mom and dad, MIL's son, and then he later died...)

anyway, its just very frustrating. we really dont care what SHE wants, we know what we want and what we can handle right now. like you, you know what they all want, but it doesnt matter to you, what do they want you to do? genetically CHOOSE your children?? no. so theres not a whole lot you can do about it. :P if its a boy then its a boy. as long as you dont have the problem of them trying to "girl" any of your boys up... (boys should NOT have to be all emotional and etc.. thats actually more hurtful to a man than anything else... and i dont mean for the reasons you think. women think they like emotional men, and then they have problems with them because they arent "men" who protect them and do all the things that tough men do, you know what i mean??

anyway,
just put it simple, and you sound so confident in the fact that you want this anyway...

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi! The best piece of advice I can give you is to squash all the talk about the baby's gender. Everyone will always feel the need to say something that you're not interested in hearing, a simple statement by you can stop all the comments. The last thing you want is to ignore the situation and then suddenly blow up on a family member, so take care of it now. Tell your family you love how supportive they are, but that it really upsets you when they make comments like "maybe the next one will be a girl," and that you would rather not hear those things. You're pregnant!! You don't need people adding to your stress. Be strong though! If people continue to make such comments, show them you mean it, walk out of the room or distance yourself from the situation for a few minutes. I don't know how sensitive you are, but I know I would be crying because I would feel like my family would love the baby more if it was what they wanted... Ugh... Good luck! And congrats on the baby boy!!!!!!!

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T.V.

answers from Lincoln on

I have four boys. 8,6,4,2. I would tell them that we take what God gives us, and as long as the baby is healthy that's all that matters. Everyone asks us if we're going to try for a girl and I tell them that I don't need a girl, I'm perfectly happy with all boys. The way things were going I don't think I ever would have had a girl! I have met a few people who also have four boys and they tell me how wonderful it is. I do have a lot of people that say, All Boys! How do you do it? It takes a lot of patience especially with their dad being gone four days a week (military), but I wouldn't trade them for girl for anything. I have heard that girls are alot harder to raise than boys. Also we have saved so much money on clothes because we just pass everything down the line. They grow out of them so fast.

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E.F.

answers from Omaha on

I think it's so bizarre how some people are so hung up on the sex of their children...who the hell cares what you have as long as they're HEALHTY and HAPPY and WELL ADJUSTED. Seriously..I'd have a talk with them and ask them not to say it EVER AGAIN because it is truly bothersome to you and makes you not want to spend time with them...good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S.,
Congrats on baby #2! I have two boys, one is 2 1/2 and the other will be 3 months by Thanksgiving. I must say that I was the one with major disappointment after the ultrasound with #2. I know that sounds awful, but I was completely convinced it was a girl, and was just floored when they said boy. It didn't take long before I was totally over it and excited about my second boy. Now that he's born, I couldn't care less about his gender. I love him so much (of course!). The same will go for your relatives - once he's born, they'll forget all about wanting it to be a girl!!! And having two boys IS fun. Although my second is not quite ready to play, I'm sure he will have so much fun playing with my first, and I'm so glad for both of them that they'll always have a brother. I plan on having one more, and I'm pretty much convinced it will be a boy. If it's a girl, great! If not, I think having three boys will be awesome. Best of luck to you,
Amy K

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Congratulations!! I am a mother of 4 boys and I couldn't be happier. I don't understand why other women think we need to have a daughter to complete our lives. Boys are just as lovable (and not as moody) as girls. Who cares what others think I wouldn't trade my boys for anything. Enjoy your boys!! K.

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H.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have 4 girls and 1 boy and we were expecting in October. When baby number 6 was born we found out that it was - another girl! Everyone feels bad for us that we only have only one boy, but we respond that God knows best and thought that was what was best for our family. I know that the comments can get annoying, but do your best to smile and say that you feel blessed to have the children you've been gifted. Also, because they are the same gender and close in age, they will be great friends and playmates!
Good luck!
H. :-)

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D.S.

answers from Davenport on

I have one son who is two. It's amazing how rude people can be..."when are you going to try for a girl?" Things that I have thought of to share with you are....boys can be cheaper (in terms of not buying the dresses, the shoes, the tights, the purses, the earrings, the frilly things for the hair, etc...), the boys can carry on the family name (which was a big thing for my husband)....we take what God wants us to have....

hope these suggestions help...

Congratulations!!!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

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R.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Oh, it's so great! While I am now disqualified because I am no longer a mom of only sons, I think I can speak because for nearly 12 years I was. I had seven sons in a row, and it was awesome! People often told me that boys were easier to raise than girls. I don't know if it's true (though it kinda seems like it to me), but it made me feel good. Many things were just plain simpler (they could sleep in the same room, pass down the same clothes, play with the same toys, etc...). But it was also fun. Boys are just...well, boys! There were always people in my life who wanted so badly for me to "get my girl". I just smiled at their ideas (behind their backs, of course) and went on my happy way raising boys. One of my favorite things was when my husband instituted boys' night. The boys would do a special boy thing with Dad and I was not included! Yea! It was a guilt-free night off.

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K.R.

answers from Omaha on

S. -

I LOVE being a mom of boys, which I never thought I would be. I come from a family of girls and could count the number of boys who were friends on 1 hand!

We have 2 and are DONE no trying for a girl for us. Boys may be rough and tumble, but they are also very loving - my boys give me "big giant hugs that knock you down and squeeze out your air" we have squirrel kisses (tickles). I'm not a huge fan of bugs and mud, but that's where my husband comes in.

I sort of feel like being a mom of boys is special - I work with with some "older" ladies who are "boy moms" and they were so kind when I was pregnant with the first boy, then overjoyed when they found out I was having another boy - I got quite a few "welcome to the club" cards and gifts.

Enjoy your boys and don't feel bad letting anyone know how happy you are to have these wonderful little boys in your life!

K.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

I have two sons and was raised with only brothers so I understand where you are coming from. I always wanted a little girl but I adore my sons and wouldn't have it any other way. I would just remark that you are absolutely thrilled to be having another boy and that when they grow up you can have wonderful daughter in laws. Of course if they really irritate you LOL you can tell them off

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K.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Congratulations! I have two sons (and had 2 mc's between them) and if anyone said anything I'd just responsd "I'm just praying for a healthy child" or "I'm just praying for a live birth." Shuts them up quickly b/c no one can disagree that, in the end, it's a miracle when we produce a whole, healthy child. Have fun gestating!

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have two boys and can't imagine life any other way. The both play the same sports and while have very different personalities, it's been really nice having them have similar interests. They were best buddies (batman and robin!) when they were younger, share some of the same friends and really get along well. While I would have loved a girl, this has truly been a blessing for us. As for the comments - don't take them personally. They may have wished for a granddaughter or niece, and that's okay, but it won't take away from their love of your bouncing little boy when he arrives. All you have to say is "we are thrilled" and leave it at that. Congratulations S.!

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have two boys ages 7 and 4, and I will admit that when we found out our youngest was a boy, I was upset. I had this perfect family all planned out in my head and I was sure he was a girl. Of course I got over it quickly, and was so thankful he was happy and thriving. When he was born... boy did our world change! He is such a wonderful little boy ,he's funny and charming and adorable. I wouldn't change a thing!

That being said, we are adoptiong #3. We've recently found that the boys have a genetic disorder than thankfully they seem to be on the mild end of it and may not have any problems from it other than some cosmetic/skin problems. And we are thankful for that, but we just can't risk having another baby because he/she might have it worse. Plus we have issues getting pregnant and adoption just is where our hearts are.

I hear on a daily basis 'oh, are you going to try for a girl?' or 'aw, two boys... are you sad you don't have a girl?' And geez when I mention we are adopting we hear 'oh, so you are adopting to get a girl?' and while yes, we did choose to adopt a girl, its not the reason we are adopting.

Unfortunately the comments will come from strangers and family, friends and foes. You just have to deal with it.

Congrats on your new little prince!

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M.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well, I don't only have sons, but I would just say.. we are thrilled to be having two boys! We don't feel the need to have girls, or some such. If you are happy and you show it, people will back off.

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P.G.

answers from Sheboygan on

Hi S.,
I have two sons and wouldn't trade them for anything! Yes, I would have liked my second son to be a girl, but he is healthy and happy and that's all that matters!
My sons are two years apart and are each others best friends and worst enemies. I am a "boy" mom, and while it would be nice to have a girl to shop with when I'm older, the boys do enjoy cooking with me and doing crafty projects.
So, it's too bad that both your mom and good friend can't be happy for you, but when they hold him, I'm sure they will change their minds.
Plus, a bonus to having another same gender child is the savings on clothes. If he was a girl, you'd have to buy a whole new wardrobe, and who can resist those cutesie girly clothes!!
Enjoy your pregnancy and congratulations on your second BOY!!

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

I have had only boys- as had my fiance, and he wants to try for a girl- it's not happening since I am 41 and not at all interested in delivering or parenting another child. BUT, I tell everyone that I thank GOD everyday that my son was a son. we have issues, BUT, just think about when you were a young girl 12-20ish lol, and the emotional toll it took on us as girls. I am so glad I don't have to look forward to dealing with that. And, that's just how I put it out. GOD gave me a boy for a reason- because he knew I couldnt' emotionally handle raising a girl. Simply put it on GOD's back- tell them- if GOD wanted me to have a girl- I would be having a girl- that usually quiets the masses :)

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have three boys, ages 7, almost 3, and 7-1/2 months, and I love, love, LOVE it!!! Sure, it gets loud and I feel hopelessly outnumbered but my boys are fun, have a wicked sense of humor, are easily entertained, like all the same toys, and are very protective of me.
Shopping for clothes is easy since they mostly wear jeans and t-shirts, and dress pants with a button-up shirt for Sunday. Everything matches, no accessories are necessary, and jeans and t-shirts never go out of style, which makes hand-me-downs possible (as long as it isn't worn out). Laundry is fairly easy since a bulk of the clothes are either red or blue.
They need haircuts more often than girls, but their hair is wash-and-go.
With all boys, we don't have to worry about when they can no longer share a room, and all the bedding can be shared since it all coordinates and is printed with things boys love (cars, trains, airplanes, Spiderman, dinosaurs, etc).
They can bathe/shower together without being curious about different body parts, since they are all the same.

I would love to have a girl but, honestly, I wouldn't mind having all boys. They get emotional, but I've been told it's not nearly the same as girls. Overall, in spite of their endless energy, they are pretty easy and a blast to be around.

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J.J.

answers from Omaha on

I'm currently pregnant with my 4th boy. We have one daughter who is so very special to us. She's 7 years old. We really wanted a girl this time to give her a little sister. When we had the ultra sound my own husband got a pouty face on him when it was obvious He was a little boy. Trust me, your mom and SIL will LOVE this little boy. I'm sure it hurts you a little, but after he's born and they fall in love with him they will be glad he's a boy. Try not to take it personally. They probably were just really wanting to buy some cute pink girly things. Maybe next baby will be a girl. :)

BTW...Congratulations! Boys are wonderful too.

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S.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am the happy happy mom to 3 boys: and couldn't be happier. I feel I was made for boys. I love the wild play, the freedom of love they show me, their lack of holding grudges, their quick to forgiveness, their sincerity of communication, their eagerness to try something physical and different, and their appreciation for any cooking or cleaning I do for them.

I love their low cost maintenance, and their 10 dollar haircuts. I love boys.

I remember when we were at a clothing store, and I had all 3 with me, and a pile of cords and sweatpants. The older cashier looked at me, and loudly said, "awwwwwwww...how sad. no girls, you poor thing." And went on ringing up our items. My youngest asked loudly, "Mom..is it bad to have all boys?" (see..this is the sincerity of communication I LOVE) I laughed,and said, "Oh, No! But I can just tell this lady isn't lucky enough to know how wonderful and happy a family of boys is! If she did have all boys, she would've said, "How blessed! Boys!"

He liked that and smiled.

Bottom line: your family is who they are. Boys, girls, or some of both. Girls have their beauty, as well as boys. We love our children: do not let people, or family, make you feel like you're missing out.

Your children are glorious whether all girl, or all boy. Enjoy them, and they will see that you are pleased with what you were blessed with. I don't understand the pity I get from some moms/friends/relatives, either: they seem to think I'm missing out. I never want to become defensive about my family of boys. I tell them, "boy or girl, my love and satisfaction would be no different."

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T.G.

answers from Madison on

I only had 2 boys. They are now 14 and 18 and I sure am glad that they are boys!! I have friends that have girls and the drama they go thru is unbelievable! I can also remember how mean I was to my mom when I was a teenager. You can do anything with the boys, including shopping and cooking. I feel that I have raised two boys that will be a great husband and father some day, and hope their significant other will appreciate it.
I would just tell those who bring up having a girl that you think that what you were blessed with is perfect for your life. My sister always bugged me about having a girl cuz she had one of each, but I am still happy the way my cards were dealt.
Now that I am done having babies...I will wait till I have grandchildren to have the girl in my life. And that's what I tell people that ask if I want a girl. If they end up to be boys, oh well. That's life.
My motto, Things happen for a reason.Eventually you find out why.

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S.S.

answers from Sioux City on

I just had my third boy (no girls) in June. I don't know how often I get asked, "So, are you going to try for a girl next?" I've just started saying, "I don't think I would know what to do with a girl after all of these boys!" or joking, "We're done... What if I got ANOTHER boy?"
Boys are WONDERFUL! I had always thought I would have a houseful of girls (only had one sister growing up) and didn't think I wanted boys. I love my boys like crazy and wouldn't trade a single one for a girl. They are just as loving and sweet as any girl I know... And twice as messy! :) Boys, or girls, are perfect. Just let them know that all you need is a healthy baby and you'll be happy... They should be happy too! Best of luck!

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S.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm a mom of 3 adorable boys and can tell you that the comments never go away. Just today we were out shopping and someone commented, "maybe #4 will be a girl". It gets old, but I also feel that I was destined to be a mom of all boys and I'm OK with that. I use different responses depending on the context of the comment. Usually I tell the party that we're done having children and cherish the three we have. "We're blessed to have 3 healthy, happy children", etc. Comments that turn the situation into I'm happy for what I have seem to make the commenter realize what they're saying. Good luck! In time you'll settle into the best response for you.

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S.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

My whole family was like that and even bought some girls outfits and when they found out it was a boy they still wanted to dress him in it. I said you know I thought as long as the baby is healthy and ok that thats all that mattered. And I was told adopting would be a better chance than my own due to medical conditions, as long as my baby was happy healthy and ok thats all that mattered. There are women out there who can't have kids and would give anything to have there own. Just tell them you can't pick and choose what you want be greatful for what you are blessed with and the sex doesn't matter that baby boy will be just as prescious as ALL babys are. Personally boys are easier and I'd rather have boys. Don't let there opinions bother you its your baby and once the baby is here they'll realize they were wrong with saying that.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I can really relate. I have two boys, now 10 and 13. When I was pregnant with the youngest we also found out on the ultrasound that the baby was a boy. While I was STILL PREGNANT with boy #2 people were asking us if and when we going to "try for a girl." It drove me nuts. I never came up with a snappy comeback, but since our first son was VERY colicky I would just say, "Can we see how this one goes first?" When the second one was colicky too that stopped all of the questions about "trying for a girl." I don't wish colic on you, but that's what worked for us! There are definite advantages to having two kids of the same gender as some other posters have suggested--sharing clothes, toys, beds, sporting equipment, etc. I just need to learn the rules of sports and scouts and don't have to juggle dance and gymnastics too. I work in a church nursery and perhaps it's my personal bias and experience, but I find infant boys easier to change and clean up. My coworkers find that amusing. Boys can get pretty physical with each other so be ready for that! I volunteer a lot at school, and I am working with a group of middle school girls at church. So I get my "girl fix." It is very different than working with boys--not good or bad, just different. Congrats on the pregnancy and best wishes for a healthy baby boy!

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J.J.

answers from Lincoln on

I have a 3 year old boy and truthfully when we first found out that I was pregnant I really wanted a little girl but then when we found out from the ultrasound that it was going to be a little boy I was disappointed for about 2 seconds and then I got to thinking about it and realized a boy is just as awesome (sometimes I think maybe a little better - never have to deal with all the girl drama stuff :)). I would just tell the people who are making the comments that all that matters is the baby is healthy and that God choose it to be a boy for a reason!

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A.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi S., I would just tell them that you are happy that you are going to have another healthy baby, regardless of the gender. If you do decide to have #3, you will be happy with whatever gender that baby is. It doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl. The fact that you are able to have them, and love and care for them is all that matters. Not the gender.

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S.A.

answers from Milwaukee on

I know this question was posed to all Moms that only have sons but I just had to share my thoughts also. I have a 26 month old daughter and another daughter due in January, we have not shared this with more than a handful of people because those are the types of comments we just don't feel like listening to. Well, you can always try again or just plain disappointment on someone's face. It's none of their concern, if they are not happy for you, oh well for them. All girls or all boys, it makes no difference, you're always going to have people that have stupid comments to make! Congrats on your new bundle to be!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

With both of our kids we waited to find out if we were going to have a boy or a girl. With our first everyone asked if we wanted a boy or a girl. When our first was a girl everyone asked if we wanted our second to be a boy. Our response with both babies was, "We don't care if it is a boy or a girl. All we care is that we have a healthy baby."

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M.K.

answers from Green Bay on

I have two boys age 14 and 4. With 10 years between, I was very happy to have another boy. I knew all about what raising a boy. I also wanted a boy so my older son had someone he could play with and teach stuff too. They get along great and they love each other alot. I would not trade my boys for anything.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Remind your mom and sister in law that we should always appriciate what we have instead of desiring something more or else. To be disappointed that you are pregnant with another boy rather then taking it as it should be... a wonderful gift from God. You don't need to explain that you would be happy for all boys because you would be just as happy if you had a girl.. you are more then happy that you have healthy babies.

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L.J.

answers from Des Moines on

Congrats on two boys! Believe me it's sooo much fun!

I have two boys as well, 6 and 4. They are THE BEST OF FRIENDS! It has been so much fun raising them. The older brother has loved the younger one from the very beginning. They both have their own rooms, but prefer to sleep in the same bed together....it's wonderful.

Other advantages as you have already heard...we've been able to pass down, clothes, coats, toys, etc. We also travel alot, so it's been nice in the car that they watch the same movies! I can't imagine either boy having to sit through a "princess" movie if one of them would have been a girl.

People have also asked me if I'd "try again" for a girl. Not at all...our family is so complete with both boys. I too, grew up with just one sister, but really feel I'm not missing out on anything, not having a girl. I've heard horror stories about raising girls too! hahaha.

Good luck with your 2nd pregnancy. I hope your boys become the best of friends like mine are. It's wonderful.

Happy holidays!

K.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi I know you said to only respond if you have only boys but I wanted to tell you my story I have 4 kids my dream was to have 2 boys and 2 girls well I thought it was never going to happen because I had 2 boys they are 27 and 24 so then I wanted to try for number 3 and I finially had my girl she is 22 and i was up there in age when i decided to try one last time for my last girl and guess what i got her she is 6 yrs old now so dont give up hope having the 2 boys first is a blessing they protect there sisters oh by the way my first daughter was born on my anniversy also

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S.S.

answers from Davenport on

Love your boys! I married my husband and along with him came his 2 boys (their mother passed away). When we tried for our first child together we of course were hoping for a girl-nope had a boy but he was healthy and we loved him. A year later we "tried for the girl". 9 months later, it's another boy, healthy and adorable. Of course you are a little disappointed but you thank God they are healthy and love them. I look at it this way, if I had a girl she probably would be a tomboy and not like tea parties and frilly dresses. Girls are emotional and lots of moms and daughters have rough preteen and teen years. Boys love their moms and take care of them in later years.
I look forward to the future and my daughter-in-laws and grandchildren with the possibility of a granddaughter.

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J.K.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

hello S.
i remember when i was pregnat with my 2nd my #1 was a boy
and had a ultrasound for the 2nd one and my sister was there with me and they said that it was a boy i inside was a little disappointed then my sister said oh to bad it wasnt a girl i then felt inside that GOD GIVES US WHAT HE WANTS and then as long as the baby is healthy . So when anyone said oh did you want a girl i said GOD GIVES US WHAT HE WANTS . To this day he is now 6 and i would not trade him in I love him and his brother (11 yrs Old)
You know that if we would of had a 3 child i would of taken another boy but we are not having anymore. My husbands best friends sister-inlaw is expecting they have 5 boys and #6 is a BOY they wanted a big family anyway
CONGRATS ON #2 and ejoy because they grow up to fast..

J....

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D.A.

answers from Appleton on

You know I love having boys!! I have three boys...and dont feel bad about it at all. Of course I am the oldest of five and the first four of us our girls, so I think that makes me just fine with boys! I did finally get my girl, but oh man are they different! Dont feel bad, just be happy, a baby is a blessing! Congrats on your boy!

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K.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

My husband and I have 4 sons. They are all in their 20's. 7 years between son 1 and son 4. On occasion my Mom would say "Oh wouldn't those curls look cute on a girl" or "he has such nice complexion" Etc. I told her they were boys and would be raised as boys. She did not say this to them. Usually just to me. I worked full time, part time, and some times got to stay at home with them. Very busy house hold. Sports was a big part of our lives. Boy Scouts gave them skills that we could never have accomplished. Church activities were the theme of our lives. The boys are so fun. Never a dull moment. The 2 youngest are now playing football in college. Take a deep breath and expect the unexpected. Keep them safe! But also read Dr. James Dobson's book on Boys. I laughed till I cried. My boys had done the same things. They need to be rough and tumbly. Instead of saying "Oh your hurt" say "Get up and try again." Enjoy them at all stages of their lives. Discipline has to happen right away. Parents are the authority. Other wise they will run the house. Have Fun!!

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