Bedtime Hell

I tried some books about solving children's sleep problems. There are so many of them. Dr. Ferber's book is a famous one. Having a schedule and a bedtime ritual like a story and milk before bed can help. Also physical activity in the afternoon should help to make the child tired. I didn't like to have a strict schedule. Because that meant I had to be at home at a certain time etc. But in the long run it helps. Once the child gets used to sleep at a certain time everyday she will want to sleep at that time. Hope this helps.

You stick to your guns. You put her to bed at 9. If she throws a tantrum or gets out of bed, you take her back there time and again until she stays there. Nip this in the bud now. If she needs a daytime nap, same procedure. And have a time out chair/naughty chair. She needs rules and boundaries.

C.; well what time do you wake her up in the morning? our bodies get used to what we do to them on a regular basis, if she is used to going to bed later is she also used to sleeping in earlier? or do you say she has not slept since 11 30 so ill let her sleep in, any of these habits can be adopted and hard to change, if youwant her to go to bed earlier, then wake her up the time you want her to wake up, she will eventually tire out earlier and you can put her to bed, my kids at that age i put down at 9 and they pretty well got up at like 6 or 7 , this is a good schedule to get used to for school for later in life, my neices were allowed to stay up till whenever and wake up whenever ,since they were "homeschooled" , now they are used to that schedule as an adult and its not good for them to be on the schedule, and they dont even work nights, so find athe schedule you want her one and work in that direction, if you want her up at a certain hour , then continually to wake her up on that time, every day, make it a habit, she will eventually go down earlier, and if not, give her a bed time and she must have all her bedtime things done by that time and lay in bed, she may stay awake in her bed, but bed time is she is to lay in her bed, not doing anything, eventually out of boredom she will fall asleep and her body will get used to that time, this may take a long time, so be consistant, have fun and enjoy life D. s

LOL. I think having kids is the definition of bedtime hell! :) The only thing you can do is lay down the law. It's gonna be rough for a while, but you'll see the rewards soon enough!

good luck

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My daughter was the same way at about 2 1/2. I finally decided she was over napping and delt with the crabby kid for a few days until she got use to not napping. Then it was back to a normal bed time. All kids are different and out grow naps at different times. In my opinion you can't force a child to sleep. If you are not ready for no nap maybe cut her nap time in half by waking her and see how that goes.

I would recommend reading The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers.

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Pres...

I just want to say that many, many families have bedtime issues. The more you panic, the worse they get. Try to treat this as lightly as you can because this, like food and potty training, is an area where power struggles are just waiting to happen.

Do you have blackout curtains where you're hoping that she'll rest during the day? Light can make a lot of difference for kids trying to sleep during the day. Well, adults, too. It can help if you plan to nap while you expect her to: peer pressure doesn't only work from kid to kid.

The other question that pops into my head is do you shut down the house when it's coming up to bedtime, or is she leaving bright lights, exciting conversations, social times and activities? It's hard to talk a 2yo into leaving the 'action' to go to sleep when they'd prefer to stay up for the fun they can see... for a 3yo, multiply that difficulty by 100.

You can ease kids around to earlier bedtimes, but I suspect it needs to be the hard way: get up early and do interesting, yummy-smelling, relatively noisy things early in the morning. If they don't want to miss anything that sounds fun at night, how would that be different in the morning? Turn off all the screens and noisemakers (radio, even) --if there's music make sure it's recorded, calm and slow (boring.) Turn off most of the lights in the house, and dim the ones left on. You might try lying on the couch staring into space or flipping slowly through a pictureless book or magazine. If you spend some effort making it look like 'nothing goin' on here' from about 8pm on, by 10 that's a pretty dull night. You may be dozing on the couch way before they give up... but after a few days of this dull evenings and fun mornings thing, they'll turn back around, and started getting up before 8, and going to sleep before 10.

Consistency, Mama. I know this sounds easier than it is....but you HAVE to lay down the law as the previous poster said.

Do you have a regular bedtime routine? Bath, snack, brush teeth, stories??? Some kids really do well with the same routine over and over. We had a hard time with our daughter when she was two. But, once she turned three and we could communicate with her a little better...it got easier.

Now we have some troubles with our two year old son and I lay with him. But, he barely talks...so it is hard to communicate the "rules" to him.

We are not a family who lets their kids cry it out. In fact, when our daughter was two, we let her sleep in our living room because that is where she felt most comfortable. We didn't care as long as we all got some sleep! But, once she got older and we could talk to her about it...we got her into her bed and we were very consistent with it and we haven't had a troubles since then.

As our son gets closer to three, we will try to do the same with him. It just takes lots of patience and time. I know it is hard...especially with the younger one. My kids are 24 months apart and things were exhausting for a while. They still are...my boy doesn't sleep through the night...but it is easier.

Good luck Mama.... it really does get easier.

I personally am going through the same issue with my 2 year old. She was napping in between 1 and 2 and than going to bed at nine till christmas break and i allowed them all to stay up. This is hard to do but i am doing it. You need to put her back on track. Lunch comes she eats than after our done cleaning she goes for anap she is not allowed to leave her room. After about a week of doing this every day at the same time she will eventually get it and just get into a routine of going to bed again. Same with bed time 9 oclock bed time dont allow her to make her time. Your her mom and authority not her. If it keep s up the way you are going she is showing the 18 month old this is ok behavor and they can get away with it too. Unfortuanetly you will hear lots of screaming and crying but after a week of doing stern schedule it will lessona nd get better. Good LUck!!

Hmmm~ Do you have a 'set schedule' for her at all?

For my son, once he started to develop a bit of a sleep cycle, I put him into a routine. Trust me - a routine is key for kids and you. I have had some in my life chide me for it, but it saves sanity for you, your child and those around you in the end.

Example of my son's schedule from before:
He would be up at 7am, be fed and play. Nap by 9/10am
Up from the nap by 11/12 depending on when he went down and have lunch and then play for bit more - and then one more nap at 1/2pm. Around 3/4pm he was up and I usually kept him up and entertained (w/ a snack) before and after dinnertime. His bedtime was 8 or 9pm at that time as his naps would go for about two hours.
A bit later, he took just one Long 'power nap' and this worked for us too.

After some time, we found that he was not going to bed on time for us. The reason was, he was ready to give up naps, but he still had the 'quiet time' in his room or with me on the bed or couch with a book. When we did this, he was in bed on time and out like a light~ ;)

Right now, at age five, he is up in the morning for school by 7am and does not take a nap - ever. He goes to bed by 8/8:30pm. We get him ready for bed by 7:40pm with the bedtime routine~ During the holidays, he may be rewarded for good behavior to stay up for an extra half hour to watch a special on T.V. (Like Charlie Brown or something).

Never had a problem like this, tho with him staying up so late. His only issue is he likes to come into our room to snuggle when he kicks the covers off as he gets chilled. He's my only one, so I don't think the hubby minds this either. :)

If you do not have a bedtime routine set, try implementing one as well - give her a choice of story as this helps them get sleepy. Just make sure it is a suitable bedtime book. If you are getting close to the time you want her to sleep, make sure it's a quick book like 'Good Night Moon'.
If you allow her to stay up for a special as I do for my son, then make sure she understands (or give the choice as I do) that the special on T.V. is her 'bedtime' story. So once it's over - it's into bed after hugs & kisses. This works out very well with my son.
(When he is acting up, I just have to mention if he keeps it up, he may loose his story - trust me... He LOVES his bedtime story and reading to your children is a great way to help them read, too.)

Sorry this is so stressful for you!!! You're going to just have to lay down the law. 9pm (or whenever you feel is appropriate) is bed time. Have a routine, maybe a bath and stories (do those in pj's in the bed) and then hugs, kisses and lights out. Maybe using a fan or some other form of white noise will help. Be sure the curtains are dark enough to keep out outside lights too.

Now of course she'll balk at this. BUT keep putting her back into the bed if she gets out. She CANNOT run around. Bed time means in bed and quiet. (our daughter sings for an hour or two sometimes, but she's in bed) There will be several nights of going back to bed every time, but she WILL get it.

Don't bargain with her, don't argue with her. Have a few pre-rehearsed phrases of why its bedtime, that you love her and are close by to be sure she's safe, and that she needs to stay in bed. Then leave the room, the longer you stay in there, the more hope she has of convincing you to let her get up.

Good luck! Its going to be a rough few nights, but she will get it and be happier in the end. And I think keeping the nap it a good idea, make sure it isn't hours and hours long, but its important to have a break in the day to rest.

Sometimes when children don't get to sleep easily, they are actually overtired - I know it sounds counterintuitive. I recommend the book by Dr. Weisbluth - Healthy Sleep Habits -Happy Child, to read. There are a lot of techniques that are age-directed in there and I found the reasoning behind his suggestions to be helpful in terms of why our children act like they do! I know it is frustrating - we are currently going through a phase with our 4 year old - he is "scared" and wants us to sit with him until he goes to sleep - ummm, yeah...I have talked to the ped about this one - apparently it is common. I think these things pop up every so often and you just have to get back to basics - routine is absolutely key to keeping your family happy and healthy. Good luck with this - I am sure it makes your work day that much longer and you that much more exhausted every day - hang in there.