Becoming a SAHM?

Updated on July 31, 2008
L.L. asks from Tulsa, OK
14 answers

Ok, so here it is. I want to have more babies. Not this year, but I want to start trying at the end of next year. I have done a lot of reasearch on becoming a stay at home mom, and I know for a fact that I want to do this when I have more kids. My question is, is it possible to live off of 25000 a year. If anyone does it, advice would be great. We don't live beyond our means, I shop very frugally, and I am trying to buy a house sometime next year, not a big one, but I could just use any advice on preparing to become a SAHM anything would be great.

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So What Happened?

I just want to say thank you to everyone. You all gave a lot of wonderful information. I have decided that I am just going to suck it up and finish nursing school and then work part time. that way there really isn't a loss of income. I really apprecaite it

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G.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi L.!
It is definately possible to stay at home and live off of 25,000. Have you thought about a home business?
I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old little boy and a 3 month old baby girl. With 2 kids, it was nearly impossible for me to even think about costs of childcare! I wanted to find a way to be home with my family while bringing in the sufficient income I needed! I finally found an amazing company that has blessed my family so much! Request more info. at mommyworkingathome.net

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J.D.

answers from Biloxi on

It is certainly possible to live off one income of $25K. I've always wanted to be a SAHM and became one while I was pregnant with the twins. I had no choice, because of the numerous doctor appointment. My husband works in sales, which is a base + commission, but we based our budget on the salary not the commission...since it can vary from month to month. When he got a BIG commission check, we doubled up on bill payments and put some away for a rainy day.
We bought a house here in MS in August, we figured what we were able to pay mortgage wise, and then went to our realtor. Then we got pre-qualifed and then found the homes that would fit that budget. We also got help from the state of MS and government loan, so buying was a lot less of a headache. Our mortgage includes taxes and homeowners insurance...under our loan program we didn't have to have a down payment, nor do we have to have "loan" insurance. You just have to work with your realtor and the loan company they support. They knew what our situation was upfront and so therefore there were no surprises.
I agree with the other ladies, put your paycheck away in an account, budget just using your hubbys salary and see where you are. Not only will that help with your moving into your home, but if you have debt, paying that down will definitely help in the transition.
We only had a car payment when we bought this house, but since it would be paid off within a few months of buying the house, that money outgoing was not counted against us, so we had a little bit more wiggle room.
Also, with interest rates being so low and the housing market at an almost standstill, you may want to look into one now. Just to see what you can qualify for...doesn't mean that you have to buy, but using the web to see what is out there isn't a bad idea...it will give you plenty of time to see what you like and dislike...what areas you want to live in, etc.
Hope this helps and good luck in your adventure to being a SAHM!
Also, you may want to check out MOMS Clubs in your area...if you don't already belong to one. They are a great source of help when you transition into being home full time.
Take care,
God Bless,
J. D

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J.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You can live on 25,000 a year. Maybe not as well as you like but it can be done. With the cost of childcare, if you have a large family it is hardly worth working anyway.
If you really want to see what it is like, open a savings and put all (or most) of your income for the next year or so in the account. When you get to the end of a year you will have a great down payment on a home and the confidence to start your large family.
Keep in mind that you can buy homes through your county and it is definately worth looking into, they have many propertys that have been abandoned because of taxes ect. Contact the county clerks office, you should be able to buy a list for around twenty dollars, I had one mailed to me in oklahoma county.
Make sure you have an extra car. I find good deals all the time. I've haven't paid more than $800 for a car in the last six years. You can go to auctions, or buy from an owner. The last car I bought was a 96 taurus for $300.00 dollars. I invested $500.00 in parts/repairs and presto I have a nice car.
I don't know how handy you are, but I do almost everything by myself. It is not that hard to repair a broken item in your home if you try. You can save yourself tons of money with a little effort. When you buy a home you can expect to have a lot of things that cost extra money. You have to be prepared to maintain the home, yard and pay all property taxes and insurance. As these things go up your payment can change if you have an escrow account. Make sure you get a fixed rate mortgage or a bank loan!
Don't kid yourself into believeing that owning a home means you can do whatever you want unless you plan on living in the country. All kinds of things are against the law like certain fencing in the front yard, parking on the lawn, having a tire off of a car for more than a couple of days. Even if you have eight foot privacy fence, you can't just put anything you want in the backyard. Some neighborhoods go into restricting the colors you can paint your home and so on.
Also make sure that you find out what schools your kids would go to before you buy a home. Your going to be paying property taxes that go to the school discrict you live in so make sure you are getting what you pay for.
Make sure you have a network of friends outside the workplace. Being a stay at home mom can be very isolated, you need friends and people to talk to.

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A.H.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Budget, budget, budget. It can be done. We lived off that much. This is what we did.

*We signed up for quicken.com so we could see how much we are spending where and it was automatically updated by our bank (it costs $3 a month) so we could realistically budget for things. I always look at this and also our bank account online before going shopping so I have a idea of how much to spend on groceries. It also made it easier to say no to the things we really didn't need.

*kept meals simple (great meal ideas on Kraftfoods.com) and made double of things to freeze for fast meals.

*to save on gas, we would plan outings beforehand to make the most of it...example: We'll leave home early so we can get the things we need at Home Depot on the way to Krista's birthday party. On the way back we can pick up the dry cleaning too.

*We saved a bunch on entertainment by doing a lot of the activities, renting movies, and books from the Local Library. They usually have story times for kids, family movie nights, and other things like fairy tea parties, etc.

Hope this helps. It's hard at the beginning to learn how to budget, but it becomes second nature after a while and then you start getting so good at it that you are able to save money for all the big things. It's a wonderful thing staying home with your kids, you get to see so many adorable little events happen. Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

basically you have to sit down and budget your bills. if you pay less than what your husband makes then you will survive. also sometimes you could babysit one or two times a week to earn yourself a little pocket change. hope this helps. also you have to take the economy into consideration. i would not make a decision until everything settles out. prices on everything are going up and it is hard to live on 25000 a year epically when it costs so much to live already and it is increasing.

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J.P.

answers from Tulsa on

I don't know if you want to or if you already do, but you can use certain programs when your family makes under a certain income. There's SoonerCare insurance for the kids and WIC--you may already be aware of these. If you need programs like this to help you get by for a while, if you're not already using them, don't feel bad--take any help you can get because raising a family on one income can be hard. But anything's possible, and if it's something you really want, you'll make it happen.

When you go to buy a house, decide on a monthly mortgage that you can afford and tell either your realtor or loan provider about only getting a house with that mortgage amount (taxes, fees included). They'll be able to calculate roughly the price of the house you can afford. You may be able to qualify for a house better before you quit your job.

I'm a sahm too in tulsa and we've been doing it this way since my first was born. Over time, he's made more and more money but we definately started out on a very tight budget. We used those programs that I mentioned and it was a blessing. I hope you can work this out because even when you're stressed about finances, being a sahm is truly a gift. Good luck and God bless you all.

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T.S.

answers from Tulsa on

Dear L.,

It can be stressful the first few months getting used to one income. But, if you and your spouse are in agreement it can be an incredible change for the better in your relationship and family life. I am a SAHM and love what I do! There isn't anything more rewarding to be at home when my children go to school and come home after their day with teachers and friends. It's also nice being able to be there when my husband walks through the door after a long day of work. I love being his sounding board and cuddling up to him on the couch as he tells me about his day.

But, to make things a little easier financially on our family I signed up as an Indep Avon Sales Rep. This allows me to do what I love most, which is spend time with my beautiful family. Selling Avon has helped our family have extra when extra normally wouldn't be there. Its fun having PLAY money! This allows us to go out to eat out occasionally, shop for fun stuff that we might not otherwise be able to afford and put money in savings.

The only draw back that I found in being a stay-at-home-mom is that all my friends couldn't afford to stay at home. Car payments, mortgages and other expenses kept them from doing so. I found my days were spent with just me, cleaning the house and watching Soap Operas throughout my day. I needed a little more social interaction. With Avon I've made a lot of new acquaintances and incredible friendships this past year, which I otherwise wouldn't have necessarily had. And with the wonderful world of syberspace it makes my Avon business so easy and fun, knowing I don't have to fill out a lot of paperwork. With the click of a few buttons my order is processed and ready to go.

I would love to have you on my team L.! If you or any of your friends are interested in selling Avon contact me at ____@____.com

Remember... The dreamer who finds his way by moonlight sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

I do wish you the best of luck sweets with whatever path you decide to take.

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S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I live off of way less then that and i am a single stay at home mom I already was purchasing a home when I got divorced, so I have a mortgage payment already. I have two kids we don't get to have a lot of extras but we get by. There are a lot of different programs that your city and state offer for low income families. Most schools also have lower cost meals for lower income families, don't be afraid to ask just remember you and your husband worked and payed taxes for years so take advantage of any and all programs that are out their. Your local Dept. of human services can help you, there are churches that offer programs, you can also get assistance with food stamps, I do! I used to be imbarassed but then I thought about how long I have worked and paid taxes while other people collected the benefits. Stay ay home , take care of those babies you have and will have and be a good wife, you, your kids and your husband will be much happier. Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Tulsa on

When i had my first son I worked in a Daycare so i took him to work with me was no big deal at all. 15 months later i had my second son and I became a SAHM 18 months later I got divorsed. Now I have to find a job to support my boys. Then i meet my Husband and we had our first child. I put him in Day care at 8 weeks old and cried everyday for 8 months because someone else was raising my baby.I got pregnant with our daughter and my husband let me quit work i have been a SAHM since. When I quit work my husband was making 23,500 a year. We had 4 kids his daughter, my 2 boys and our baby with another one on the way. We did WIC and Food Stamps for a while but we made it my husband now makes over twice that much still not tons of money but no one ever goes without. My sisters who all chose to have careers and children tell me i am the smartest of the bunch because i make the sacrafices to raise our children myself and do without family vacations and nice new cars. I promise you will love every second of being a SAHM.

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K.O.

answers from New Orleans on

Hi Laurel

I'm a witness, that you if you are willing to make some sacrafices and compromises, it DEFINITELY can be done. I resigned from my 40,000 a year, I have always had a home business but I has to rebuild my clientel after Hurricane Katrina and I'm doing that slowly. Thank God I was blessed with a supportive husband that encouraged me. But because of the peace of mind and flexibility of working from home, I have decided that all the shopping, dining out, etc is worth giving up and my daily prayer is to not ever have to get a job outside of the home again. So in short you decided what's important and what you're willing to trade for the opportunty to stay home and you'll see it can be done. Good Luck!

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R.M.

answers from Birmingham on

L., I'll be honest here. 25K sounds like not much to support a growing family, especially if you are here in Birmingham. Then again, my brother-in-law is a professor in TN, making about $40K but supporting a growing family with six children. I am becoming a SAHM in June as well, after the birth of our second child last month. Our income is getting cut by more than 50% but we are debt free except for the house.

If you really want to do it, you are already doing the right thing thinking about it now. Chart out a family budget in Microsoft excel on your current income, itemizing each category. Then, make a second column with $25,000 as the starting line and start widdling things down, making the final line the amount you lack each month to overcome. We did that and still have about $300-400 each month we cannot compensate for. However, this past year, anticipating my resignation, we put as much into savings as possible, and in doing, we have enough to cover each month's lack for 9-12 months. After that, I'll probably have to do something part-time but I think I'll want to find something anyway.

Good luck and please keep us posted on your efforts!

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C.S.

answers from Biloxi on

Hi L.
I am going to say that I feel that you can do anything you need to when it comes to what you need to live on. One of my biggest suggestions would be to really PLAN AHEAD!!! Meaning if you know that at a certain time of the year your income is going to change, well plan for it! You can of course do the usual cutting down on your monthly spendings but you can also plan now for things such as car tags, car and home insurance, yearly taxes(if you pay land taxes),Christmas and things like that! Right now I am a Wahm( just started about 9 months ago). Before I did this I was a teacher in the public schools for 8 years. So we did make a huge adjustment in our income. However, at this very moment my husband has been working ALOT of extra hours that at work. This is not because he choose to but it has been manditory. So to plan ahead we have put the extra income into our savings for those things like I mentioned above~ our land taxes that come once a year and usually they take a big bite out of our budget. Another is our car insurance(we pay every 6 months) so that is taken care of! Now we do not have to worry about that when the time comes! I hope this little bit of advice will help you in planning for the future!
One last thing there is ALWAYS the opportunity to do as I am and work from home. I have 2 girls( 9 and one that is almost 2) and not only do I get to stay home with the youngest, but I bring in an income as well!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!
C.

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J.H.

answers from Dothan on

We we had our daughter 5 1/2 years ago I became a SAHM. We took the time before becoming PG and while PG to pay down our debt. I did go back to work when she was 18 months old and work 2 1/2 school years and returned to being a SAHM just before she turned 4. While I did work when she was little we took all that time and inncome to become almost fully debt free. So when my pay checks stopped we didn't feel the lose of my $45,000 a year salary. We redefined our means and focuse on living way below them. yesat times it does get rough but I feel that with no matter how much you make taking any kind of income lose takes good planning. Journal your spending for a month and see really how much you waste and truely need to spend to live. Another thought is when you do make this decision is to drop to PT if you can to ease that income out of your family budget, and begin saving.

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M.M.

answers from Shreveport on

Yes L. it can be done. I did it for well over ten years while my oldest four were little.

First let me ask you how good you are at: keeping accounts books, planning (meals and events), filing & tracking coupons and proofs of purchase, making do, shopping yard sales and thrift shops. Are you ready to give up expesive stores like Wal-mart and move on to Dollar General and Fred's? Can you? Are you willing to buy a whold loin and cut it yourself and freeze it? Do you have a deep freeze? Do you have equal to two to six months worth of income in savings? Are you willing to do without a new car, washing machine, dryer, TV, shoes, underwear?
Can you still love your goofball without ever going out to eat again? Will you still be sain after 28 years without a vacation?
If you can say yes to all this both now AND if six months from now when the crude oil is $150.00 a barrell.... Then go for it!!!!
THERE ARE MANY MANY REWARDS!!!!!!!
First: make sure you have two good vehicles. One had better sip gas or be electric...(I work for an oil company) and the other should hold seven. Children over six seem to attract more kids who need a ride.
If there is any way you can have one or both paid for BEFORE you quit the better.
Get a deep freezer.
From there it is a matter budgeting money.
Face the fact that your time is not as valuable as it once was and that doing things "from scratch" is often a lot cheeper. Keep up on your training so you can go back to work when you need to.
Enjoy your babies and remember that they will be little but once so enjoy them.
Best to you

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