Bathing Tips for 6 Year Old and 4 Year Old Sisters

Updated on December 13, 2008
G.V. asks from Alameda, CA
29 answers

As always, the network of Mamasource Moms has been so valuable. So, I am back again with a new ?. I bathe my 2 daughters, age 6 and 4, together to try saving time and water. However, once they get in the bath, they do not care to follow directions about cleaning, especially their hair, face, and privates. They know that there will be bath playtime after the cleaning is done, but they do not seem to care. I have also allowed them to play in the bath before coming in and really getting tough about getting down to business. Plus, at 41, it is getting increasingly more exhausting for me to bend over the side of the tub to be more physically involved in getting the process moving along. By the end of the ordeal, I am totally exhuasted and burned out. Then my girls ask why they do not get reading time before bed - to which I answer that we spent so much time getting clean, that it is too late! Any thoughts or perspective on how I can make bathtime more productive? I am open to anything and everything - Thanks!

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

People have mentioned the shower... we call it a Waterfall at my house. The kids have to clean while the "Waterfall is running" and once the water has filled up the tub they have to get out if they aren't clean. If they are they get 10-15 minutes of play time before books. The nice part is if they need help getting clean, they are standing up. My kids didn't like the idea of a shower getting water in their eyes until we did a "waterfall" instead of shower!

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B.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Put them in the shower - they are old enough. It takes less time and it is easier to reach everything they need to wash and rinse. They could even shower together at this age. Make it a "big girl" thing to do. Find a reward for good efforts - more reading time, etc. They will not do it perfectly at first but they will get better at it as time goes on.

Good luck!

+B+

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there,
Have you ever seen the Time Timer? www.timetimer.com

It's a visual timer for kids to see how much time they have left (the red disappears as time goes on). You might want to get one and put it in the bathroom. Let the girls play for, say 15 minutes, and set the visual timer on the bathroom counter where they can see it. Then, when time is up, try to "beat the clock" and get the cleaning/shampooing part done within, say 5 minutes (it shouldn't take too long). Then if they beat the timer before the red disappears, give them another 15 minutes or so to play. Again, set the timer. Then have them beat the clock again getting jammies on, teeth brushed, etc. If there's time left before bedtime (and they know when bedtime is), allow for reading time for the remainder of time. That might keep them motivated. I use the Time Timer for my daughter and it really works. Good luck.

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My girls are now 6 and 8 and still bathing together. As an older mother myself, I hear what you're saying about bending over the tub being a strain. It actually sounds like you're doing everything we did to solve the issue. The shower thing didn't work for us as the girls hated showers until a few months ago. (You've think they were getting tortured from the screaming). The one thing that seemed to work was to pull my older one out and finish with the younger one, then let the older one bathe alone. It only took a couple of times doing that before they decided to get with the program. We do bathe first and then play. If they take too long, then they've used up their story time. They are also expected to wring out the washcloths and lay them out, then pull the plug before they get out. It's a matter of being firm and consistent. Make sure they get lots of praise when they do it right, but an immediate consequence when they don't cooperate. When they get more of your energy for positive rather than negative behaviors, you'll see the difference.

Good job, Mom. You're on the right track!

1 mom found this helpful
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W.E.

answers from Sacramento on

My mom always withheld toys, bubbles, etc. until we had both washed. first one done got first choice of bath toys, etc. she would also fill a pitcher of water and rinse us off when we were ready to get out to make sure all the soap, etc was off us, i loved that part. i also used to like it when she would turn the shower on while we were in the tub and we would play like it was a waterfall or a rain shower. ie she would say, if you both get washed within the next five minutes i will turn the shower on for you to play in. my son gets the same treatment. wash first, then you can have the shaving cream paint, or water tint, or your toys. no wash, no toys, and Mommy will do the washing for you and you will get right out. shaving cream paint and a mirror with suction cups to stick to the wall always did the trick! good luck

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm with Christina. I suggest you plug the tub, but turn on the shower. Have the 6 yo wash until finished, then the 4 yo get in. When they are clean, turn the shower to faucet and it's time to play.

Also, if you have a kitchen timer, bring it into the bathroom and set the timer for a given time. While the timer is running the child can wash herself, once it goes off you take over.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My boys are 6 & 4 also and I too am 41.... I feel your exhustion.... I started having the boys bath alternating days. That way only haveing to worry about one at a time... the 6 year old is now taking a shower. I make it sound like a big deal so he thinks it's a privlidge. The 4 year old and I have a deal that after he washes then he get's the toys in the tub.. If he doesn't let me wash him or he doesn't do a good job then no toys... An now all I'm focusing on is the privets and the hair...
Try wahsing the hair every other bath... might save time. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I have two girls that are the same age, but in addition I have a 15mo old who bathes with them. Sometimes I let my 6 yr old in the shower with me and let the two younger ones bathe together.

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I know your pain....literally! I'm 42 & oh, the pain when I unfold from that kneeling position! Luckily, our 8 yo does the process himself completely but our 3.5 yo still needs supervision. He's getting better at washing his 'bits & pieces' as we call them, but I do his hair. I usually give him playtime before washing but will cut it short if there's lotsa splashing about & water coming outa the tub. I have 2 suggestions: can you move bath time earlier so that if the tubby goes long, then there could still be time for a story? I usually put the youngest in the tub by 6:45p (yep, we eat dinner pretty early),then big brother is in by 7:30p. Or, make the story a reward for listining & following directions in the tub. Maybe if they usually get 2 books then cut it down to 1 book or none at all. Hope this helps!

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hmmmm, good question. First wash, then allow play sounds good, but it sounds like the clean up after the play is tiring too. Then you have some guilt about not having storytime. You are not alone!!!!

I used to read the stories while they were in the tub, then I could give gentle reminders about washing their bodies. The other thing that helps with body washing is to use the baby cleansing clothes (huggies baby bath clothes - not wipes), they suds up with water and can tell where they missed on their body by the lack of suds.

Try to remember that they are only this little once, and very soon, they will not want or need your help, and you will long for the times when bath-time was the big issue in their lives. Enjoy.

Blessings

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H.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I also have a 6 year old and 4 year old. I have stopped bathing them together and I find that it is much easier. I squirt the soap and then let them do the cleaning...easier on my back and my nerves. Usually the 6 year old colors until the other 2 (I also have a 2 year old) have finished their baths. Then the younger 2 will read books on the couch until I'm done with the 6 year old. Sometimes I let each one sit in the bath and play for a while. Other times I get them out right after they wash off so that the bedtime routine takes less time. I also took all their toys out of the bath so there is less mess to clean up. Sometimes they get one toy like a pair of goggles. Hope this helps.

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

How about using a timer?

D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi G.,

I haven't been able to read the other responses yet, but I have a pretty simple solutions....have them take a shower instead of a bath. I have three girls, two of which are close in age and I started them in the shower at about 5 and 6. Sometimes together and sometimes separate. They have a time limit and if they are not in bed at 8:30, they go to bed 15 minutes early the next night. I know kids like bath time to be fun, but as they get older, they need to start to understand the "real" reason for taking and bath or showering. If they don't respect the rules, take the fun stuff away. Let then know, until they are able to understand why you need to take a bath/shower and respect that they do not get to play at bath time. When you think they are more in tune with the reason for bathing put a timer in the bathroom they can see from the tub, let them take baths again, but make them wash first. And whatever time is left over they can use to play.

Hope this helps!!!

D. :)

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

My girls are 6 and 10 and I haven't bathed them in a couple years. They clean themselves. I wash their hair once or twice a week. They bath together and often play in the tub for up to 30 minutes while I clean up from dinner. I used to sit in the bathroom to keep an eye on them up until a year ago. I figure we'll keep this up until the older one wants more privacy. It's a very happy time for them.

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

You can start a little earlier or bath them seperate and use the same water.

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

I make my kids wash first thing when they get in, instead of waiting until after they play - I put them in the bath, they wash - maybe try putting one child in first, washing them, and then add the next and wash them, then they can play for however long.....you may have to switch who has to get in first every night or whatever if it becomes a problem with she got to go first, blah, blah, blah....but I would give that a try - hopefully that helps!

~ Janine

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C.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Shower them. Get in with them if you need to. Incedently, most kids can't wash their hair by themselves until they are about 7 or 8. Get them clean.

Then you can draw a playful bath once they are done.

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A.L.

answers from San Francisco on

G.,
YOu have a lot of great responses. I couldn't help but adding my own routine. We have "rinse off's". I get them wet, turn off the water, soap them from head to toe then turn on the water and rinse them off. There is no play time (or bath toys), but they know that ahead of time.
My kids have not taken baths together from the beginning, our two yr old would beat up on the 5 yr old.

This routine does require me being on my knees, with a thick towel underneath my knees. But since they are standing, there is no bending over.

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M.F.

answers from Stockton on

I have my three year old clean herself the minute we get in. We don't wash the hair every night though. I bought colored soap and she likes to put it on her. Maybe try that. Another thing she likes to do is take a shower. That might help speed things up as well.

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M.T.

answers from Sacramento on

We changed to morning bath or a family shower. When I am getting ready in the morning I put the kids in the tub to play. When I am done so our they. If I need a shower I hop in with them and after I am done I will fill the tub so they can play while I get ready. It has been such a life saver.

Hope this helps

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

It is all about the assembly line. One in while the other is nearby, wash and out, wrapped in a towel so she is warm and the next one goes in. Wash and out, wrap in a towel and take both to bedroom to dress. If the 6 year old goes first have her night clothes ready and have her dress herself in the bathroom with you. Have your husband help if he is available with the after bath routine. No bath playtime, in and out! Good luck

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D.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi G.,

I have two girls and we have a very structured bedtime routine so that there is time to read. We were doing baths but they were getting out of hand so now we have showers. Since they are both old enough to stand carefully in the shower, they have a timed shower. If they are not quite ready to wash their hair by themselves, do that first then give them the washcloth and have them get to work. When their 4 minutes each are up, they get out. Then, there is always time to read. Also, I do not have to spend the evening leaning over the shower.

D.

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm a 41yo mom with a 6yo too. I dont bathe him everyday, just every couple of days. I also dont insist he use soap every time as it dries the skin out. I do wash his hair (he either gets it wet himself, or I get to put water on his hair my way) and then leave him to play. Sometimes long, sometimes short, but usually long. He may protest when I say it's bath time but once he's in, he's content to stay in there till he's a white prune!

My youngest sister who was recently visiting, said she loved it when I gave my younger sisters baths when they were little. I asked why and she said I played games with them - simon says... etc. I'd forgotten! I'll have to try this with my son. Try this with your kids.

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C.M.

answers from Fresno on

Hi,

I have been there done that! I have 4 children, my two youngest are close in age and so they were the only ones I have had this issue with. The girls are 9&6 now and my age is a couple past u (add to that I have been raising my kids for the last 25years)so I understand the exhaustion stage. I finally had to shower them separtly because although I thought it was a time saver it really wasn't. What I did was put one in get her finished while the other is standing there ready to hop in, then they trade positions and on we go. Meanwhile first bathed is putting on pj's by the time second girl is finished the first one has finished the process and has book out and reading to me as I brush out hair. Both girls are finished I don't yell and all is happy with the world. I even have patience for whatever books they have choosen. Good luck with your girls and hang in there, some day you maybe in diapers and be dependent on them. My personal favorite joke with my older two, when little ones are acting horrible I'll look at the older two and say just wait! The joke, someday I am going to pee(or worse)in my diaper and laugh while they have to change me. No I'm not a sicko, just been doing this for along time and you have to laugh when it gets crazy! :)

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S.E.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter would play and play and never get down to business, so I changed how bath time went. I told her if she had to bathe first, she could play for as long as she wanted in the tub (no new water added). Being who she is, she asked, "What if I don't bathe first?"
"I'll drain the tub and scurb you from head to toe myself." She plopped in and cleaned first. Then the bath toys came out. She can play for as long as she wants (a full hour some nights). I found that when I was ready to start it off, it went better.

Once she tried to not follow the program and I drained the tub, as I said I would that first night. I turned on the shower, scrubbed her down head to toe,rinsed, dried her off and sent her to get on jammies. She never did it again.

Be there to start it. Don't give them a chance to play. It really sucks to be doing something you enjoy, just to have to stop for someone else's needs.

Good luck,
Stephanie

G.M.

answers from Modesto on

Lots of good advice here. You are the mom, change the plan. Start the bath, put 4 yr old in, wash her, talk to her while you are washing so she learns the correct washing procedure...."washing your face now, wiping out the dirt in your neck, cleaning your privates, cleaning your feet...etc". As soon as she's clean you do the same thing with the 6yr old. Chances are they are both observing your method of operation. Now, both washed, they can sit and play for your "designated patience level". Soon, you will throw them the washcloth and they will do it themselves. I so remember the pain in the back that tubtime can be. They may fight you at first, just remember you are the MOM and you set the rules. If it means yanking them out of the tub before they are clean, do it. Setting the boundaries and following through with your threats is what is most important in molding a well behaved child.

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N.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, I also have two girls that are 4 and 6, and I also got tired of the bath. Leaning over and the crying and especially the water all over the floor. That was just an added chore. So we switched to showers and that works out pretty good. One gets in and wets herself, usally the six yr old first. then my 4 yr old goes in and while she wets herself, I'm washing the others hair while she cleans her own body and sometimes I do need to remind her where to clean, under arms, neck, etc. So when she is done, I have her rinse off and start on the other child, same thing. when she is done and rinses off, I'm checking to make sure all the shampoo is off the other one. I usually do this first thing, then they can play for a bit after. That way when they are ready to get out, or it's time, then we don't have to wait and say that we still need to wash. The older one likes to get out faster than the younger one. So she gets out and she starts to dry herself, I'll help if it looks like she needs it, but she is getting old enough to do it on her own. When she is ready, I then take the younger one out. One thing, when they do play, watch that they don't stand on the edges of the bath, I've caught mine doing that. Also, they sometimes like to take a "showath" Have the shower going and plug the bath, keep the curtains/door closed.

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

G.,
What if you set a timer for them in the bathroom for the amount of play time they can have. Maybe even use it for clean time, and then set it again for play time. Then they can have story time afterwards, if they did what they were supposed to. Or what if daddy did story time instead? then you can rest, since you did the baths. Good luck. W.

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N.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Safety is important. No violent games where they might drown or bang their heads or slip and fall down. No splashing water outside the tub. Beyond that what is the problem of letting them play in water as long as they are having a good time and being friendly.?? You do not need to be involved except maybe for shampooing when necessary. Soap is really not necessary or good for one's skin so the soaking and moving about in water will get them as clean as they need to be. It should not be an ordeal for any of you. In order to get reading time in (very important and not an ordeal...good that it is important to them) let bath time start earlier...Enjoy!!

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